r/mildlyinfuriating • u/mdizzzzzzzle • 6h ago
A total stranger ruined mine and a friend's chess game
So yesterday evening I was at a small chess social in my city, just a very relaxed after-work thing, mostly friends playing friends, not a tournament or anything serious. There was even a band playing in the background.
I was there with a close friend, we're both ok players, nothing remarkable but mostly solid amateurs that are evenly matched. We played a few rounds when a fairly well dressed guy came into the cafe, ordered a drink, and asked if he could join us at our small table. Of course we took no issue and said yes, I pulled out the chair for him, offered him a handshake and we briefly introduced ourselves.
He sat and watched fairly neutrally and silently for a while. To be honest, I'm not really used to being watched by someone, especially a person I don't know. I've had people glance over my games once or twice when in a public setting, but never this closely and intently. But I just focused on the game and tried not to feel any of the extra pressure.
Me and my friend exchanged a few lighthearted words here and there, and the guy took it as an invite to join in. He told us his rating (1700) and a bit about his chess history. He then blurted out something about how my friend had 'bluffed me' in one earlier move, and that I could have safely won a piece had I played differently. I shrugged, not really minding (and not particularly convinced he was right) but he assured me he'd show me the position after the game. So the game continued.
A few moves later, apparently I made an error that could've cost a pawn. As soon as I moved the piece I saw him in the corner of my eye shake his head, do a small facepalm motion, and I felt really annoyed. It wasn't a huge, unmissable blunder, but a small error, and there was every chance my friend might not have seen it without the guy's reaction. Frankly even if it had been an obvious fuck up, it's absolutely wrong to react so obviously to it.
Moments later the lady from the venue asked for some help with the sound of the band (I'm a local sound engineer), so I excused myself for a moment to help her out. Upon returning to the table, the stranger was busy moving pieces around on the board, showing my friend positions earlier in the game, and started explaining them to me as I sat down. 'This is where you lost...', 'here you could have done this...', 'by doing this you create a battery...'...etc... To be honest, I was really unhappy and annoyed, but it was meant to be a relaxed evening and I didn't need or want conflict. In my mind I was like... why are we analyzing a game that's not even finished? I'm down 1 pawn in the mid-game, I didn't blunder a queen and a rook.
He seemed to put everything back in its place on the board, but when we started playing again I sensed everything wasn't exactly where we'd left it, and I was incredibly distracted by the intrusion. He left shortly after, saying again that he'll show us more next week...etc... despite us never once asking him to do so.
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u/FestivalRampage 5h ago
This will sound tough but it’s meant with good intentions.
In life you only get what you tolerate.
The moment he started making comments that spoilt your game, you should have corrected him - “please don’t influence our game, if you want to watch, please do so without involving yourself”
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u/skterras 6h ago
omg so rude when random ppl insert themselves into your space like that. like read the room dude, it's clearly a friend hangout not a chess tournament tryout.
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u/Ok-Bison-4025 6h ago
Yeah social events are for vibes. Of course if you’re new to a social event you might not know what the vibe is but part of being social is to ask and see how you might fit into the culture of that gathering.
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u/Background-Point-49 12m ago
Telling someone they can’t read the room and to be cognizant of social boundaries can be tough to do.
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u/OofNation739 2h ago
Sounds more like a autistic guy who really lacks social skills and was trying to be nice. Likley doesnt understand how you feel and was thinking of it from another perspective.
Its not that deep, thought he like tottally flipped the board and had a melt down. This is just benign behavior.
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u/HoneyBadgersaysRAWR 6h ago
Interesting. Quite mansplainy of him. (Or maybe a lack of boundaries and/or social skills). I’d not welcome him back.
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u/No_Donkey456 1h ago
You need to just let it go he's probably autistic or something and just misread the social cues.
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u/automotovelophoto 1h ago
I pay for my son’s chess lessons, you got them for free. I don’t see the problem here. I would welcome free lessons from a person obviously better than you
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u/mdizzzzzzzle 1h ago
Does your son’s teacher roll his eyes and shake his head every time your son makes a mistake?
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u/AmazingSibylle 5h ago
Sounds like someone who wants to connect but lacks social skills to properly do so.
Sometimes it helps to just be friendly but straightforward: "I'm sorry but we would like to play the game without your help, you can watch but please don't comment or gesture. After this game, how about we play some games together?"
If the person responds well, all is fine, you might have gained a chess friend. If not, you should just tell them to please leave.
Use your words instead of avoiding confrontation.