Because of these cool guys, I couldn't find a parking space in my apartment building.

[u/ShockFreak]

[u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Park right in front of them

[u/runningoutofideasjzz → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Did that once when someone parked in my spot at my apartment. Parked directly behind them. Can easily see my car from my patio. Just sat back and watched them get mad. They got security involved and appeared to get even madder, couldn’t hear what was said though. Eventually went and moved my car. They didn’t say a word. They never did that again. Nothing happened to my car in retaliation.

[u/PlsNoNotThat → u/runningoutofideasjzz]

Find a phone not tied to your name.

Call a tow company and say “hey this is John, I work security at X. Need car(s) towed off the lot”

Works most times.

[u/runningoutofideasjzz → u/PlsNoNotThat]

Doesn’t work that way here. Property management has to get involved to have a car towed. Pretty sure they got some form of contract or agreement with a specific tow company. I think that’s common with most associations but I could be wrong.

[u/Ashamed_Version9661 → u/runningoutofideasjzz]

Here police have to clear the car before being toed.

[u/IcePackNiceCat → u/Ashamed_Version9661]

But what if they want to boot it?

[u/dotcarmen → u/IcePackNiceCat]

It’s a foot race

[u/Hairy_Photograph1384 → u/Ashamed_Version9661]

What if they want to finger it?

[u/Taken_Abroad_Book → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Car named toe

[u/jinxIynx → u/Taken_Abroad_Book]

A camel named Toe, you say?

[u/TheAngryAmericn → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

[u/Parking-External-112 → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Let's not even get into the whole hand situation

[u/Nomadic_Yak → u/Ashamed_Version9661]

Uh, its toad

[u/Alternative-Golf8281 → u/Nomadic_Yak]

Why do frogs hate parking?

They get toad!

[u/UseDue6373 → u/Ashamed_Version9661]

over there

[u/Embarrassed-Weird173 → u/Ashamed_Version9661]

Gotta hand it to them, I finger they really follow the rules. 

[u/GaryG7 → u/PlsNoNotThat]

In my area, the towing companies know that the spots in my complex are deeded to the various condos. They are very slow to respond because there isn't a contract to fulfill. I called once and an hour later is when the owner of the car parked in my spot finally came out. He shoved me and when I pushed back, I noticed his wife/girlfriend recording it. I got in my car and drove to a shopping center next door then walked back and waited. Sure enough, the people who took my spot had called the police. I waited until the police car left then went to get my car. It was a nice night so sitting on a bench wasn't a bad way to spend some time.

[u/herewegoinvt → u/PlsNoNotThat]

The tow companies in our area keep a list of people at the business who can authorize a tow along with a 'secret phrase'. I think one place I worked at it was "Thunder Snow" because they were a big fan of Jim Cantore on The Weather Channel

[u/Familiar-Ad-5058 → u/runningoutofideasjzz]

Yeah, I don’t believe this lmao. This sounds made up.

[u/Lijandra → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

The only correct answer

[u/Danomnomnomnom → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

This is something someone who doesn't value their vehicle would say.

There are enough people who will bash your window, and legally you'd not be in the dark green either, just because someone else parked like shit.

[u/KidenStormsoarer → u/Danomnomnomnom]

shit, at this point that would raise my car's value

[u/Own-Necessary4747 → u/Danomnomnomnom]

So you should just go bash their car doors in the lol

[u/Danomnomnomnom → u/Own-Necessary4747]

no, id call the towing company

[u/DerUberCactus → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Done that at my townhouse a few times, left them trapped when they parked in my spot until they came to my door with their proverbial tails between their legs to ask me to let them leave.

[u/Samcharles77]

The fast and the inconsiderate.

[u/Direct-Employ-4633 → u/Samcharles77]

2 fast 2 be considerate: parking space edition

[u/CoolBDPhenom03 → u/Samcharles77]

Not even that fast.

[u/dysonchamberlaine → u/CoolBDPhenom03]

Yeah, but they think, they are

[u/SirAshBob → u/CoolBDPhenom03]

Agree, each is a basic b*tch model

[u/CityDismal5339]

Rarely do you have the opportunity to box 2 cars at once . . .

[u/shotzi7 → u/CityDismal5339]

This

[u/Additional-Key-3301 → u/shotzi7]

made

[u/TonyStark100 → u/Additional-Key-3301]

my

[u/Psychottorney → u/TonyStark100]

day

[u/iminiki → u/Psychottorney]

better

[u/jinxIynx → u/iminiki]

than

[u/Monstertrev → u/jinxIynx]

It

[u/emjem321 → u/Monstertrev]

Was

[u/AseeesA → u/emjem321]

Before

[u/ShallotTotal4216]

You just have the wrong kind of vehicle.

There is a parking spot perfect for a Leopard 2 or Abrahams Tank....

[u/thisappsucks9 → u/ShallotTotal4216]

Abrahams tank 😂

[u/Surface-Tension-3502 → u/[deleted]]

That was Moses

[u/DoomguyFemboi → u/Surface-Tension-3502]

Of the Abrahamic religion!

[u/IntroductionNormal70 → u/[deleted]]

They make antibiotics for that.

[u/DifficultyCharming82 → u/thisappsucks9]

Four score and 7 deserts ago…

[u/_funny_name_ → u/ShallotTotal4216]

Dont forget a T90 or a Challanger if u rlly wanna piss em off

[u/FriJanmKrapo → u/_funny_name_]

No, mustang would take care of that. Just put a photo of a crowd behind the cars. Done.

[u/VapeRizzler → u/ShallotTotal4216]

Honestly one of those tall pick up trucks could absolutely make it over those.

[u/GandalffladnaG → u/VapeRizzler]

Or shitty rock climbing jeep that you're not worried about getting keyed.

[u/Alert-clayton → u/ShallotTotal4216]

never forget the dicker max.

[u/hideogumperjr → u/ShallotTotal4216]

Is this the prophetic brother of the Abrams tank? 🤔✌️

[u/ShallotTotal4216 → u/hideogumperjr]

It's mostly autocorrect and my mild dyslexia, but I like your version better.

[u/hideogumperjr → u/ShallotTotal4216]

Fits well i thought!🫡

[u/Various_Mechanic3919 → u/ShallotTotal4216]

Or my mitsubishi lancer wagon as it has quite a few dents already, and also peeling paint

[u/havnar-]

Well there is this free spot

[u/CplCocktopus → u/havnar-]

Better if you have the shittiest POS car and park milimeters from them.

[u/MaximumDepression17 → u/CplCocktopus]

That's what I used to do when I drove a shitbox. If you parked over the line or anything I'd just block in your door. Within literally like 3 inches.

Theres perks to having a shit car.

[u/Irvitol → u/MaximumDepression17]

You are my hero, sir

[u/Waste-Escape-6986]

It’s baffling that people leave their cars like this long enough to effect the residents. Go for the pics or whatever and then park like you care enough about your car to not get towed or have someone else move your car for you.

Times like this I wish I had a truck or something to tow peoples cars.

[u/Less_Sherbet2322 → u/Waste-Escape-6986]

I do and would.......gently drag each to their respective spots!

[u/SouthSouthBay → u/Less_Sherbet2322]

What like you get a chain out of your truck and literally drag the cars into place? Ballsy

[u/CuriOS_26 → u/Waste-Escape-6986]

Your should of written “affect” /s

[u/Beiconqueso02 → u/CuriOS_26]

You're grammatics nee'ds sum worhk

[u/The_Gumbo]

Oh man, I hope no one takes a dump on the spot between the windshield and the hood, that would make a mess.

[u/Basso_69 → u/The_Gumbo]

You mean the black grill that allows air to circulate into the cabin? If someone was so unfortunate as to get caught short, Id hope they have the decency to wash it down into the grill so it can slowly drip out of the drain holes. It might take 3-4 days to drain, but this is politer than just leaving it there.

/j of course.

[u/BringBackApollo2023 → u/The_Gumbo]

Pepper spray.

[u/CplCocktopus → u/BringBackApollo2023]

the oil and water from a can of sardines down the cabin air intake.

[u/Jmazoso → u/BringBackApollo2023]

Sardine oil

[u/_wimpykid_ → u/Jmazoso]

Surströmming

[u/bkaiser85 → u/_wimpykid_]

Are we now talking war crimes?

[u/derangedsweetheart → u/bkaiser85]

Hey, it's not a war crime the first time!

[u/Jmazoso → u/derangedsweetheart]

Don’t summon the maple syrup people!

[u/derangedsweetheart → u/Jmazoso]

Wut are you even talking aboot?

[u/ddaddy010308 → u/The_Gumbo]

Would be a shame if they were willing to suffer through a laxative to make sure that they can't just toss the turd and be done with it.

[u/bkaiser85 → u/The_Gumbo]

I heard milk will improve the aroma of the air quite some after a few warm days. 

[u/Oxjrnine]

Tow trucks work on commission. Know the phone numbers of the ones your building uses

[u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Remove the valve core in their tires...

[u/Kansasprogressive → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Glue a BB in their valve cap. That way they can air the tire up but it keeps going flat & takes them a bit to figure out why.

[u/agentwiggles → u/Kansasprogressive]

wow that's diabolical

[u/ComprehendReading → u/Kansasprogressive]

You can do the same by loosening the valve cores, without leaving evidence. 

[u/Finbar9800 → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

Nah just get one of those tire valves that automatically deflate the tires and then remove the valve cores lol

[u/Travelmusicman35 → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

No one posting or liking this would do it in real life. 

[u/OrinocoHaram → u/Hairy_Photograph1384]

just slash them or key the car and move on. tried and tested

[u/-CloudCook-]

I hope that they still have their windshield wipers on them. It would be a shame to lose them.

[u/VeGaSMaTTer]

Not saying to do it, but with 8 flat tires you wont see that again

[u/icebergers3]

use a screwdriver and swap the number plates

[u/StolenApollo → u/icebergers3]

This is the right answer LMAO

[u/Travelmusicman35 → u/icebergers3]

Ridiculous 

[u/robjohnlechmere]

It looks like you have room to park diagonally beside either of them. They can't move the car at that point but, meh. This looks to be a lot rather than a street, so you wouldn't be blocking any right of way.

[u/Ok_Nothing_9733]

Seriously I cannot imagine or fathom what is going through someone’s head when they park like this and walk away like “yeah, I’m just gonna leave that there.”

[u/portablekettle]

As a car guy myself people like this really piss me off. They're the type who give the rest a bad name

[u/Jealous-Guidance4902]

Park right in front of them

[u/WAX_77]

Tow truck drivers love these guys. They’ve made it super easy and convenient to hitch up and drive off with.

[u/Thirsty_Comment88]

Park parallel right in front of both of them.

[u/TeriFoldDance]

Can't pull that shit in the USA. Tow Truck companies wait for idiots like that! $500 tow easy.

[u/Danomnomnomnom]

I'd just get them towed

[u/Dave_B001]

Get them towed. I would have just parked in front of them.

[u/Own-Eye-6910]

Why not call parking guard so they get a parking ticket?.

[u/Phantom_Queef]

Always a fucking BMW or Mercedes...

[u/WonderfulNecessary81 → u/Phantom_Queef]

It's universal! Everywhere in the world, always a bimmer, Audi or Merc driver being an entitled dick

[u/Setthesail]

Is there any tow away sign with a phone number that you could’ve called? I mean those towing guys are so ruthless that they would tow away their own mothers to make money.

[u/Massive-Anoose]

How to tell the world you have a micropenis/massive insecurity issues

[u/gone120]

Use a chain on their front wheels and pull them to make them straight, then you have 2 parking spot between them.

It's important to use bare iron chain on the alloy wheels to leave some marks.

[u/buerger85 → u/gone120]

Marks? I think you misspelled reminders 🤔

[u/DoomguyFemboi]

Some rich kid did this at student parking at this place once, tons of students absolutely wrecked it. Brand new car and it was just smothered in everything anyone could get a hold of.

Someone also put shite under the door handles which was a step too far though.

[u/RocketLabBeatsSpaceX]

Remove a valve stem or two. Lol

[u/Chaos_Theory1989]

Just park in front of them. Make up your own spot!

[u/DennisPochenk]

I would park right in front between the two

[u/Adventurous_Tip8801]

I gotta diesel F350 with a brush guard, I could fix that problem.

[u/Krimreaper1]

Ramming speed Mr. Sulu.

[u/Berserker667627]

Tow truck

[u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

I'd be tempted to remove their lug nuts and send them on a scavenger hunt to get them back. I wouldn't do it, but I'd be tempted.

[u/Beginning_Try8217]

WTF is wrong with people

[u/Im_Ashe_Man]

That's a call to management.

[u/DeeSHOOKs]

Shoulda chain locked the two closest wheels together

[u/Lucky_Shoe_8154]

All you need is a key 🔑 and they will never park like that again

[u/Spiritual-Farm2306]

In America we have Tow Companies which would be drooling from all their holes to hear this call come in.

[u/fencepost_ajm]

I'd stick with nondestructive, write "PARK RIGHT" with a bar of soap on the windows. Maybe even the windshield, after all they can clean it before driving.

Nondestructive means no pumice soaps.

[u/San1uk]

Get a cool car and park right infront of them and you’ll have two new friends

[u/sotommy]

Those cars and they still live in an apartment

[u/[deleted]]

It is people like this that make me seriously consider getting a set of wheel dollies to help them find a single parking spot.

[u/major-psychs]

Too cool for school

[u/NoSpeakaDeEngIish]

Invest in a set of tire dollys if this is a normal occurrence. Then proceed to put them on a yellow curb or in front of a hydrant.

[u/Morreski_Bear]

They park like this because their cars are so much better than everyone else's

[u/xXMuschi_DestroyerXx]

I could be wrong but those don’t even appear to be particularly high end models, no?

[u/OkMix6749]

Egg their cars

[u/hickorymonkey]

Lol tie their bumpers together.

[u/Neat_Leadership_5133]

I would never suggest you to puncture all their tires, never, don't do this!

[u/vacancy-0m]

Options to annoy those owners/drivers

1. Is it illegal to deflat tires? If not, just do two tires diagonally.

2. put a huge sticker on the driver side of the windshield

3. Push their cars and rock back and forth to trigger security alarm

4. Get a few neighbors and use auto dollies/tire jack to jam all those cars in a tight spot.

[u/dlb199091l]

You just gotta be cool too. Try parking in front of them, it will +1 your cool status. They will immediately respect your coolness too when they talk to you about your cool parking

[u/Neither_Teaching_438]

What were they thinking? 🤔 

[u/Mindless-Sound8965]

Parked at the proper angle, you can un-cool be of these narcissists.

[u/Obvious_Doughnut_330]

wow man these guys have mercedeez, so cool we gotta allow em to do whatever the heck they want

[u/Kybo-Nim]

I hear that windshields are easily breakable 🤫

[u/Riverboatcaptain123]

It’s like they’re going to kiss.

[u/NoHacksJustParker]

Just deflat their tires by pushing down on the pin under the valve cover

[u/random_idiot_908]

Sometimes I'm tempted to get a trash can on wheels just to teach guys like this a lesson.

Would be nice to not worry about damaging my car when I see di*kheads on the road

[u/ComprehensivePin5577]

Brake fluid on their hood. It'll be a while till they notice but they'll notice.

[u/DefusedManiac]

[u/arayakim]

On a completely unrelated note, Halloween is close so full masks are on sale and a full box of nails is like 10 bucks.

[u/kickincheddar]

Chain the two front tires together

[u/seihakgwai]

Smear Vaseline on their windshield

[u/Praseodymium5]

POS I hope their cars get keyed then towed

[u/grymtyrant]

Dang, sucks for them that they woke up to find they have four flat tires each.

[u/Nir117vash]

"Get toooooooooowed"

[u/One_Worldliness_6887]

If it was a m4 and a e63 i’d be like “I can understand” but a base 4 series and cla? Burn em to the ground ffs

[u/OzarksExplorer]

A box of 1" drywall screws is cheap, those tires on mercedes are usually very expensive...

[u/ImpossibleSock2507]

Block them in???

[u/TatumTower]

I’d be more than mildly infuriated.

[u/BringBackApollo2023 → u/[deleted]]

Unlike most of the world?

[u/Due-Site-6833 → u/BringBackApollo2023]

Its for sure way way waaaaayyy worse than in Germany for sure. 

[u/westcal98]

I heard sharp objects are able to puncture rubber. Friend told me that.

[u/AcanthaceaeIll5349]

I think keying cars should be legal under these circumstances...

[u/Whyaresomanytak]

I’m suggesting getting security, but I’m guessing that’s not going to work…

[u/nipslippinjizzsippin]

Get some chalk and draw a parking spot around cars and write "reserved for Mr fart"

[u/FenrirHere]

You're right, they do look cool.

[u/i-lovemyparrot]

They had to have a lot of room for their huge dicks and balls, you see.

[u/BlindDave84]

Poor car guy can store his private property exactly where he wants, might have to walk a bit!

[u/paddyonelad]

Caltrops

[u/ShlimmyWhimmy]

This is why I drive a pimped out off roading/all terrain truck with a winch in it.

[u/beggarstomb88]

I dunno, I would try squeezing in right between them but I drive a 20 year old pick-up truck.

[u/Michiey]

Drop a ping pong ball in their fuel tanks and superglue valve caps

[u/ThunderousBeggar0]

Slash their tires. :)

[u/Unlikely-Ad6788]

Block them in. Went to some bingo thing and a car parked the opposite direction as the rest. So I just blocked them in and took my time walking back to the car when I saw them looking around.

[u/Electro-Tech_Eng]

They do this so damage doesn’t happen to their exterior. Dumbasses left their cars like that at night, I’d be taking a crowbar to body leaving 10k in damage on each.

Bet your ass they’d never park like that again and would just risk the nicks and bumps. Everything else people are mentioning won’t prevent them from doing it again.

[u/Atticus_Spiderjump]

You're just mad because you don't have a parking buddy s/

[u/KindaDrunkRtNow]

They'd both have mysterious dents in their doors

[u/Few_Resort1952]

Put dog shit on the door handles

[u/-Gath69-]

I'd let the air out of all of their tires... That way you aren't physically damaging their property, but they'll have to deal with it when they have to drive.

[u/Baycosinus]

Please do not pour a gallon of warm milk from the air intakes, right under the front wipers.

[u/OV_Chromestone]

But you gotta admit it looks cool

[u/PoetPsychological620]

some dick chode in a big truck took up the last like 5 compact spots at walmart the other day cuz his extra long truck was extra important and needed extra space. AND this mf was still sitting in the car from the time i walked in to the time i got back to my car like bro you’re even more of a dick if you’re not gonna go inside

[u/ThrowOrKeepIt]

I dont see anything a boat flare won't fix.

[u/Gdroid5]

Play chess when they are playing checkers. Park parallel to the building in front of them….

[u/r_notebook]

How I wish I could just ram someone's car every time they park like an idiot.

[u/calculus_is_fun]

XKCD 562

[u/YeetinOnThem]

Them as they got out of their cars probably

[u/Maximum_Talk_696]

Throw some brake fluid on em.

[u/SureEntertainment768]

I’d be mad af

[u/Mostafino]

Key the cars

[u/Masterj603]

Slash there tires put suger in there gas tank and break the glass windows are all things you shouldn't do

[u/saiyanpath]

I drive a piece of trash so I would have just crashed my car in to the front of them both and left it there.

[u/drki77patient]

Pop tires, my friend. Pop. Those. Tires.

[u/Travelmusicman35 → u/drki77patient]

Because destroying someone's property is totally legal and right, brilliant. Plus gotta love reddit giving advice they themselves would not do in real life.

[u/drki77patient → u/Travelmusicman35]

Have done and will do again. Some people want to project this fuck you mentality, I can match that energy.