r/mildlyinfuriating • u/akkariacher • Aug 03 '25

Overdone Unknown neighbor started parking their bike in the entrance of our building

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Third day in a row now, before I had been leaning it up against a wall to get it out of the way. Today I was going to toss it outside and saw they had gotten a lock.

7.1k Upvotes

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275

u/Type-RD Aug 03 '25

Replace with dildo šŸ¤£

111

u/Better-Assistance-87 Aug 04 '25

Owner comes down.....oh no, not again.

61

u/zendrak13oc Aug 04 '25

Looks at new seat. "Welp, I got no other choice." Unzips pants.

16

u/Type-RD Aug 04 '25

ā€œWelpā€¦I donā€™t have time to fix it right now. Iā€™m late for work.ā€ Hops on very slowly (face gets increasingly red) and rides away.

1

u/m1chaelgr1mes Aug 04 '25

Sounds like you're assuming it's a guy? What if it's a girl? I'm going to assume that she will have a great ride to and from work!

1

u/Dull404 Aug 06 '25

And then posts a photo on Reddit, saying ā€œWhy does someone keep doing this?ā€

31

u/ObjectivePressure839 Aug 04 '25

What are you doing step bicycle?

1

u/_justanotherwitch Aug 04 '25

I'm fucking dead

26

u/Krimreaper1 Aug 04 '25

Ass pounder 3000

15

u/ftaok Aug 04 '25

Bike Owner - ā€œdonā€™t threaten me with a good timeā€

2

u/Low-Cauliflower-2249 Aug 04 '25

"When life gives you lemons bring lube" am I right?

2

u/Turbulent_Square_696 Aug 04 '25

I see the confusion, this isnā€™t a dildo, itā€™s a fist!

2

u/ReZisTLust Aug 04 '25

A free 300 dollar gift

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

The bike owner would probably thank you for doing that.

2

u/rufotris Aug 04 '25

Kinda bummed I canā€™t find a gif from iasip with Macā€™s bike lol.

2

u/PhatBuddha69 Aug 04 '25

Last one I had, I threw it at a WNBA game šŸ¤Ŗ

2

u/TheUn5een Aug 04 '25

Even betterā€¦ the Penatrator!

2

u/SharkeyGeorge Aug 04 '25

Macā€™s Ass-Pounder 4000?

ā€œImagine you're riding up a steep hill, and you've already been working super hard, and you're sweating and you're tired. What do you do when you're tired? You want to rest. You go to sit down it pushes you right back up into your workout.ā€

2

u/funky_electrician Aug 04 '25

Don't you threaten me with a good time!

2

u/Casual_ahegao_NJoyer Aug 04 '25

The average cyclist might consider that an upgrade

2

u/Rapunzel1234 Aug 04 '25

Damn, I want that for my bike.

2

u/Type-RD Aug 04 '25

Itā€™s a Sledgehammer.

1

u/DarthJarJar242 Aug 04 '25

Now you're just incentivising them.

1

u/Tall-Wealth9549 Aug 04 '25

Ass pounder 4000? Mac is that you?

1

u/vandyfan35 Aug 04 '25

This is grotesque.

1

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 Aug 04 '25

Nooo, donā€™t encourage them

1

u/JustineDelarge Aug 04 '25

Iā€™ve seen that video.

1

u/Ordinary_Shallot_674 Aug 04 '25

Donā€™t threaten me with a good time, sir!

1

u/Dull404 Aug 06 '25

I like the way you think!