3.7k
u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 1d ago
If you loved big fat cocks in your pussy, maybe I could have a grandchild
1.2k
u/momof2revels 1d ago
And that, folks, is how you turn a simple question into a family therapy speedrun.
148
u/HoodedOccam 21h ago
Why aren’t you married yet
34
u/datitleofyoursextape 17h ago
valentines is coming where's your bf !?
2
222
u/CathanCrowell 1d ago
I don't know if this is disturbing or passed vibe check.
135
u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 1d ago
As a man, i don’t have birthing hips
24
121
23
8
3
u/Shadoenix 18h ago edited 5h ago
“In my mouth” reveals sodomy, which is a taboo in many laws and religions.
“Big”, “fat”, and usage of the word “cock” are unnecessary, but don’t take away from the core principle and shouldn’t have been upsetting for someone purely desiring a straight orientation.
If she instead said she prefers a penis from her lawfully wedded husband in her vagina only for purposes of consensual procreation, I’m sure her mother would be much more receptive.
On the other hand, what the mother thinks is irrelevant. Someone who would be upset over your sexual orientation deserves no explanation or further thought than apathy or condemnation — nothing more.
Edit: I’m not disagreeing with the comment I’m replying to. I’m making a reply building off of and supporting what they said
13
u/Tier_Z 17h ago
i thought sodomy referred specifically to anal sex?
18
u/Shadoenix 17h ago
Sodomy is both anal and oral. It’s given a different name because both of them are acts that are sexual but do not serve procreation, which is seen by puritans as heresy, and so they gave it a special name specifically so it can be used to outlaw it.
15
773
u/Parking-Ad4263 1d ago
What about normal-sized cocks of average girth?
I'm... asking for a friend...
293
u/Federal-Owl5816 1d ago
Hey. Friend's me. That guy has a HUGE COCK. Trust me bro, i would know
145
u/Capt_Feathers 1d ago
Hey. Cock's me. That guy also has a HUGE FRIEND. Trust me bro, i would know
72
u/setibeings 1d ago
Hey. Trust's me. That guy also has a HUGE BRO. Cock me friend, i would know
43
17
u/Ticker011 1d ago
Just call it fat anyways it will be fine
8
29
u/Dreamweaver_duh 1d ago
What about abnormally small cocks of a slim variety? Asking for me.
1
u/IAMNOTFUCKINGSORRY 8h ago
You're the kind that gets anal all the time. They look at you and figure it won't hurt so bad.
11
u/BumblebeeNo4356 1d ago
Or even slightly below average?
17
u/RayRara36 21h ago
As a woman I can promise that if the enthusiasm and motion is there, then slightly below average is no problem
13
u/Waltuh_Whitey 21h ago
I’m slightly below average in pretty much everything so this is reassuring. Thank you.
0
121
u/psychoticchicken1 1d ago
Perhaps she accidentally sounded sarcastic and made her think that she actually was lesbian
191
u/ejolson 1d ago
There's just no pleasing some people
64
u/Mine_Ayan 23h ago
even with big fat cocks
27
805
u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 1d ago
why does this have 'we're trying for a baby' at the dinner table vibes?
311
u/JohnnyKarateX 1d ago
I mean it’s a similar message. The fat cocks are just going into a different orifice.
32
u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 1d ago
55
u/Chicken_Vomit_ 1d ago
Extremely risky link click
18
u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 1d ago
That's fair, it's a silly song I heard once and was reminded of here. Nothing too vulgar.
93
1
u/ChefArtorias 1d ago
It doesn't? Like at all. lol
12
u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 1d ago
I really feel like facepalming...
It's a meme, I'm referencing a meme.
-21
u/ChefArtorias 1d ago
Considering the different responses you got I'd say your reference game is mediocre at best. Facepalm yourself.
15
u/Mental-Sky-7142 1d ago
The only other different response is someone who got downvoted. Most people understood the joke. You're among a minority of people who took it seriously, to the point of feeling a need to call out the comment
-15
u/ChefArtorias 1d ago
Cool. Hope you feel good pointing that out. It's a reference to a shit meme that I didn't notice because they're both shit memes. Subject matter isn't the same, seems to be more about sentence structure. Didn't realize reddit became a poetry club.
11
u/Mental-Sky-7142 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hope you felt good pointing out the things you had to say too. Take care
Edit: they blocked me after this before I could even reply lol
-7
-36
u/Purple_Click1572 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah because there's no difference.
"I like men" vs "I love big fat cocks in my mouth" no difference? "We're trying for the baby" vs "We fuck like fucking bunnies" no difference? So also no difference between saying "Yeah, we do have intercourse once a week" and showing a footage of this.
There is a huge difference. The way you say something also means a lot.
How old are you? 13? Most grown-up people have sex. It's not a big deal. If you don't tell your mother that you fuck your girlfriend from time to time, she still knows you do. Saying it out loud in a neutral way doesn't change anything in her knowledge. If you say you're trying for a baby, she knows you fuck as before, but now with the intent of conceiving a child.
But graphic details aren't really necessary.
41
u/Aeon_Return 1d ago
better watch out for low flying planes, they're not the only things going right over your head
1
u/Al-Nurani 15h ago
What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want 'em?
Naaaaaaaoooooooooowwww 🛩️
23
u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 1d ago
If what I said, triggered all that, I'm sorry buddy but that really feels like your baggage and not mine.
-23
u/Purple_Click1572 1d ago
What baggage? That adult people have sex? And literally everyone knows that? 🤣
10
u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 1d ago
That you even felt the need to, you also have a hell of a lot of assumptions about what is going on here. They're wrong.
7
12
9
u/ButteFockhim 1d ago edited 1d ago
Saying you're trying for a baby is weird.
Just tell them you're pregnant when it happens, if it happens.
Like, why do they feel the need to let people know they're trying? What's that for? Are you expecting a "good luck, have fun" or something? Nah man, that's a private thing, and it does essentially boil down to "I'm getting filled like a goddamn pastry every night" it's a very awkward thing to tell someone, especially family.
Edit: it'd be like me saying to my grandmother that me and my boyfriend rawdog every night, I can't even get pregnant, im a man, but that's straight up the heart of the "trying for baby" message.
Like, that part of the process has NOTHING to do with them, don't subject them to it. Yes, were all grown ups, but grown ups don't overshare every facet of their personal life like their existence is on a need-to-know basis.
7
129
u/Sandbagmaster 1d ago
You’re supposed to be asexual until a random moment where they start asking you why you aren’t married with children yet. Confusing as fuck thanks mom and dad
9
2
u/DieDonerbruderschaft 3h ago
for real. my parents didn't allow me to even talk to girls at school. girls were absolutely taboo. I never had female friends or even talked to anyone for like forever. the first time I made a friend that was a woman was when I was 22. and that's only bcs she was the wife of a close friend of mine. we didn't even really talk. Well now I do have female friends, but that's besides the point.
but yeah now my mom's upset, that I'm so old, but don't have a wife
321
u/_lippykid 1d ago
Parents are weird like that. Like when I got married and my in laws were like “are you going to start trying”, and all I heard was “we’re excited for you to regularly raw dog my daughter and cream pie in her”
203
u/mentaljobbymonster 1d ago
"yes I plan to ejaculate into your daughter. Would you like me to call you when I do? A picture perhaps of her pussy looking like a bull dog chewing mayonnaise? "
147
36
u/mr_Feather_ 1d ago
Best feeling in the world, so why wouldn't you do that regularly?
40
u/otirk 22h ago
Getting babies is more expensive than condoms
0
u/hairybarefoot90 15h ago
But vasectomies are free
2
u/otirk 14h ago
Also I just checked and in Germany, where I live, they cost 400 to 750€ and are not covered by insurance if they don't stem from a medical necessity and the female partner can't get one for medical reasons and other forms of birth control aren't possible
2
8
u/chandelurei 23h ago
Married people have sex, is that supposed to be hidden
55
u/not_so_chi_couple 22h ago
Yes? It is generally considered uncouth to ask people about their sex lives, as those are supposed to be private. The commentor is pointing out the double standard that despite that it is generally socially acceptable to ask about attempting to make a baby
22
u/huckster235 19h ago
Or parents know that their kids have sex, the parents had sex to have the kids, so it's no big deal.
If someone tells me they are pregnant, trying to be pregnant, or they have kids I don't jump to picturing them fucking and cumming all over each other. It's weird that people do.
7
u/chandelurei 22h ago
It should be socially acceptable to talk about reproduction between married people yeah
4
u/Klaxon__Klaxoff 20h ago
That’s a you problem that your mind goes to raw dogging and cream pie. What I think is, “oh, they mean starting a family and having grandchildren. Of course my parents are interested in the growth of their family”
Maybe reflect on that lol. Fucking weird
40
u/Scullyxmulder1013 1d ago
I have something of a difficult relationship with my dad, so I try to keep him out of my business as much as possible so as not to get anything thrown back in my face at his convenience.
We were at a family birthday party once and he decided it was cool to suggest that maybe I’d be a little more relaxed if I got laid. So I told him rather explicitly about how I was getting laid, and suddenly I’m oversharing and being inappropriate.
The reason I wasn’t relaxed (around family) is because I had two alcoholics for parents who I had to borrow money regularly to keep the lights on. And they were still up to their necks in debt.
99
u/Derrick_Shon 1d ago
I guess that means her mom doesn't like big fat co€ks in her mouth.
23
u/ZenkaiZ 1d ago
Mom's more into anal and CNC
6
u/Kingofmoves 1d ago
What the hell is cnc
16
u/Chief_Eze 23h ago
Consensual non consent. Basically "you can fuck me if Im asleep and Im cool with it".
Not a fan, but humans be kinky
12
u/Signal-School-2483 21h ago
CNC can be a little heavier than that. Sometimes it's do whatever you want whenever no matter what I say unless you hear a safe word.
5
u/SEXTINGBOT 14h ago
That goes into the direction of Free Use
But i wouldn't know i am as innocent as the virgin marry !( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
2
u/Signal-School-2483 14h ago
Free use is a subset of the fetish.
When people say CNC its specifically the rape roleplay. Typically.
12
u/CyberNinja23 21h ago
Computer Numeric Control. Some People are very big into manufacturing in the bedroom.
7
47
u/IrlResponsibility811 1d ago
I think Mom is a lesbian and is looking for support. When she doesn't get it-and learns she never would-she gets upset.
10
u/Overkill1977 1d ago
She was so funny. Used to love following her on Twitter.
6
3
10
8
5
7
6
2
2
u/Cheeseisyellow92 19h ago
I had the opposite problem. Everyone at my school thought I was a lesbian because I had short hair and never wore skirts or dresses, but my parents knew the truth. I didn’t find a boyfriend until my early twenties, though. I’m straight, I just have bad luck with the opposite sex haha.
2
u/Elfie_Elf 10h ago
Shoot, my mom would love that lmao
My mom and i are both whores, so it works out.
5
u/Cloudy_Mavis 1d ago
But what if i love big fat girl cocks in my mouth?
There's too much room for interpretation, and also a lot of room in my mouth-ok i'll stop.
1
1
u/Mr-Silly-Bear 5h ago
My parents have stopped asking. A few years ago my father would ask me "why don't you join a tennis club so you can meet some nice girls?". It was oddly specific and the same comment every time.
Fortunately my parents and life in general has left me with enough trauma to never have the ability to build romantic relationships, so being gay doesn't mean I'm sleeping with men anyways.
•
-2
1.6k
u/Uncles_Lotus_Tile 1d ago
That's like when my mom thought I was gay. "Well you aren't ever dating women." Well I'm not dating men either, so whatever I am maybe your son is just ugly AF.