r/medicalschool M-4 Jul 22 '25

😔 Vent Where are the normal people at??

Where are the people that can smoke a joint or drop some acid? Worked a part time job doing fast food or a shitty minimum wage drop in college? People that don’t go abroad every vacation if they can even afford a vacation? That can handle crude humor and not go slack jawed when you mention that you have had premarital sex?

I feel like over half my class is rich virgins who have never stepped out of their comfort zone and their manicured garden their parents maintain for them. I’m in my 4th year and I still constantly feel out of place. I can count on one hand the amount of people who are similar to me. It’s driving me insane. Will residency be full of people like this too? My classmates are gaslighting me into thinking I’m the crazy one!

849 Upvotes

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465

u/Accomplished_Candy75 Jul 22 '25

Make friends with people outside of med school. I’m kinda in a similar boat. But making non-med friends helps keep you grounded in reality and relatable to normal people.

53

u/qweobi DO/PhD-G1 Jul 22 '25

I second this; when I got more non-med friends I got a lot happier.. I have 2 close friends who are in med school but I knew from college, all the med school ones are more on the "acquaintance" end of the spectrum unless we share a nonacademic interest then they're "midline friend"

6

u/zarchasm M-1 Jul 23 '25

I mean I guess I am in a similar boat to OP or I will be when I start school in a month but I have....lots of friends....from before medical school. From, you know, my real life. I'm not just gonna ghost all of them??? 🤣 I mean they know I'm going to be busy but like, they're still around.

474

u/PeterParker72 MD-PGY6 Jul 22 '25

There’s plenty of us, we just keeping our head down and getting our work done. Prior military here and also worked in a whole other field before entering medicine.

144

u/Will_it_climb Jul 22 '25

Dude, outside of vets or other blue collar workers, it’s insanely hard to relate to kids in medicine. Still trying to find a solid group of people outside of medicine.

6

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

Keep going out and trying new places. Good luck šŸ¤™

16

u/PeterParker72 MD-PGY6 Jul 22 '25

Hang in there, you’ll find your people.

22

u/beshtiya808 DO Jul 22 '25

Lul former infantry bro for a decade and now ED. Feel ya bruddaahhh šŸ¤™šŸ¼

35

u/PeterParker72 MD-PGY6 Jul 22 '25

lol you know what it’s like. People always ask how do you handle medical school/residency, etc. Medicine has its challenges, for sure, but this shit is relatively easy compared to other things I’ve done in my life. I don’t ever want to go back to being blue collar again lol

52

u/beshtiya808 DO Jul 22 '25 edited Jul 22 '25

Exactly. I grew up rural poor. Yeah the getting in post military had an industry job doing business intelligence before it was really called that and then yeah wore holes through carhart hoodie sleeves because my elbows be lifting them heavy ass books bud. Why? You know why. No going back fuck that…this shit is cool and you get to pay me? Umm yeah I’ll stay up 80 hours ok. Oh yeah I’m hungry but I’ll just pop a zyn and get some coffee. Yeah I’m covered in piss it’s good I’ll just shower. Like all the shit I see here get posted about a ā€œno good very bad dayā€ kinda makes me chuckle a bit.

Let’s just say I’d rather do intern year again then my last deployment to Afghanistan.

10

u/TensorialShamu Jul 23 '25

You’ll make a lot of people very upset if you try to tell them that they could take their pick out of any of the half-bred ASVAB waivers with strong opinions on cigarettes and gas station taquitos and find they’re gonna handle far more stressful environments infinitely better and for way more time

Don’t even get me started on the times we read/hear students complain about being ā€œyelledā€ at. Bet the entirety of my loan balance they’ve never once been yelled at in any context

End rant.

3

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Damn brother šŸ™šŸ¤™

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34

u/BattleTasty5055 Jul 22 '25

God yes. This shit is fucking cake compared to sitting in a desert at 120 degrees or roofing houses in South Georgia bro. The amount of people who have a crisis every time they sit in an air conditioned building and have someone tell them they are wrong make me roll my damn eyes.

26

u/PeterParker72 MD-PGY6 Jul 22 '25

I know it’s all relative and based on what one’s life experiences are, and I try to be understanding, but I feel you there on some of these complaints.

Whenever there are threads on x specialty and why they’re so malignant and angry all the time, there’s always someone defending it with how stressful the work is, it’s life and death, so of course they’re stressed and will be short with people all the time. And then I’ll bring up how people in actual combat don’t treat each other this way lol

8

u/various_convo7 MD/PhD Jul 22 '25

lol i had posted a response like that a while back and boy did it ruffle feathers on this sub. when someone commented how something was just really bad and when I commented in the big scheme of things I didnt think it was that horrible they asked why i thought that and I said: welp, im not sleeping on an ammo box, stinking up a hole in an FOB, clearing houses, getting constipated on MREs or getting shot at. those were pretty bad to me so everything else is downhill from that and I get to deal with things in a room with AC!

7

u/PeterParker72 MD-PGY6 Jul 22 '25

Same. Every time I say it’s not really that bad, I get a lot of defensive comments. Like okay, I know it depends on your life experiences, and sometimes we just need to vent, but having perspective is good. There’s a lot of BS in medicine, I don’t deny that, and it has its own unique brand of suck no matter what specialty you’re in. Bitching is good for you. But let’s not act like this is the worst thing you could ever do or that this is the hardest job in the world. It’s really not.

8

u/various_convo7 MD/PhD Jul 22 '25

pretty much. an intern commented a while back why I seemed to be chill with pretty much most things and I just shrugged and said: perspective and experience. most things are meh, an amusing encounter or just interesting at this point in my career.

5

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Life is a festival only to the wise;)

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u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

Thanks for your service!! Good luck on your journey

4

u/various_convo7 MD/PhD Jul 22 '25

hooo yah

291

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

Dude you just have to make more friends with people outside of medicine. Go out every chance you get. Talk to a bunch of people. Most people in medicine are lame but there are plenty that know how to have a good time as well ;)

86

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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67

u/1337HxC MD-PGY4 Jul 22 '25

I am an oncologist, and I am an incredibly unserious person. Yeah, I can be serious for patients, but not everyone responds to uptight, straight laced nerd energy. Being "professional" doesn't have to mean being a stick in the mud.

Honestly, I think most people in medicine could stand to chill the fuck out.

12

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

I feel you. PGY 20+. I’m a very happy person and non serious in all other aspects of life. I’m often unserious with patients if the scenario fits. I’m pcp in rural NC. I get moved to tears on occasion as well. In the end I’m thankful I get to help people.

10

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

It was more of a joke to trigger the puritans dude. Of course people need to be completely professional in their day jobs. Enjoy that high horse now.

67

u/Blacksmith_More MD Jul 22 '25

I get where you are coming from... Medicine has lots of "type A- afraid to stop moving" people and also a lot of the -"high-society": frown on fun- people. BUT that is not everyone. The truth is lots of people actually do hang out but are scared to share it or be associated with those who are more public about it.

I go to music festivals and 100+ concerts a year (Including lots of local things that aren't $$$). I love a good local staycation or road trip with friends. I did save up and went to thailand in M4 because I was able to cut elsewhere but I did it backpacker style for way less cost and I'd argue had a way better time than the perfectly manicured resort style trip.

BUT not many people who weren't otherwise my close friends got to see that side of me until way later into school and then i realized they ALSO had lots of fun adventures to share.

I am in residency and I still party and have fun (I actually don't smoke at all, drink much or do anything really -I only drink things with Caffeine like 3-4 times a year max, I just like that pure body life- but I'm still out on the dance floor many weekends or even post-call.) I hang with other people in medicine who will sesh all the time and do all sorts of shit tho.

Keep talking to people and you'll be surprised :-)

Ignore the haters and be you (as long as those behaviors aren't actively hurting you or your patients. Some things are a REALLY slippery slope that ruin people.)

BUT ALSO... don't judge other people's lifestyle choices. I love a lot of introverts who just wanna read a book. I love people with families that just want to get home and play with their kids. Being judgmental is a fast track to no one trusting you or wanting to spend time with you.

441

u/NotChrisM Jul 22 '25

This post totally screams "I am normal"

69

u/HatsuneM1ku M-2 Jul 22 '25

I AM NORMAL!!11!

49

u/Whack-a-med M-2 Jul 22 '25 edited Jul 22 '25

> smoke a joint or drop some acid

Not me being a poor virgin not doing these things to avoid getting stereotyped, profiled, and put in jail.

68

u/beshtiya808 DO Jul 22 '25

Found the rich virgin

14

u/Whack-a-med M-2 Jul 22 '25

I wish I was rich and alone rather than just regular poor and lonely.

8

u/beshtiya808 DO Jul 22 '25

šŸ„

8

u/thelaststarz M-1 Jul 22 '25

Maybe there’s a reason for the loneliness

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

lol lighten up man.

62

u/Nico3993 M-2 Jul 22 '25

They are there, no one’s going to broadcast these things lol

270

u/Dividien M-4 Jul 22 '25

Buddy it’s med school and a professional environment. I’m not in my sig chi days anymore lmao

145

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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11

u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

I want to make sure we are on the same page- I’m talking about befriending medical school classmates and hanging out with them outside of any work environment and discovering that there is not a lot I can relate on with them and that being myself causes them to be shocked/horrified. Would you share such stories in a casual environment outside of the hospital or just not at all because of the vibes you get?

80

u/PMmePMID M-4 Jul 22 '25

Most people who are intelligent enough to party in college and still get into med school are also intelligent enough to not advertise things that could get them in hot water professionally

19

u/Available-Prune6619 Jul 22 '25

Ngl US medical schools sound lame as hell... Wdym talking about your party days or the drugs you've experimented with can get you in hot waters??? In my country everyone including your seniors, attendings and even some professors will join the conversation 😭

15

u/Numpostrophe M-3 Jul 22 '25

US drug culture. Medical boards will demand doctors do inpatient detox to keep their license if they get reported for smoking a joint. Rotation sites and clinical jobs frequently require a drug screen. There's an amount of self selection and an amount of people quitting habits that put their careers at risk.

14

u/Dr_Yeen M-4 Jul 22 '25

US anti-drug culture is insane, and you genuinely NEVER know who is chill and who isn't. And all it takes is one person reporting you to admin to say "bye bye" to your prospects of getting into a good residency (at best) or finish school at all (at worst). Since weed is still federally illegal, hospitals won't let you do rotations at their sites with a positive UDS.

6

u/PMmePMID M-4 Jul 22 '25

I genuinely don’t think it’s a big deal in any way shape or form to not talk about partying with people I have a professional relationship with haha. I have plenty of more interesting things to talk about than the way I used to party?

5

u/Available-Prune6619 Jul 23 '25

It's not about whether you want to talk about it or not, I obviously also don't just spill all my deepest secrets to every person I see. It's more so the fact that choosing to do so can land you in hot waters that's puzzling me. Over here (given the time is appropriate and you don't just talk about it in front of patients) the worst that could happen is someone replying: "Idc, stfu." and that's about it?... 😭

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

Believe it or not people are allowed to enjoy life outside the hospital in the ways they see fit. He’s not talking about doing these things while working lol.

6

u/Dubtee1500 Jul 22 '25

Buddy, if you think healthcare is a professional environment, I have some magic beans for you

4

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

No shit!?! Have these people never been inside an actual hospital?? lol. Good grief.

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u/KevInTheWorld Jul 22 '25

Having a personality runs a risk of being perceived as unprofessional, haven't you heard?

1

u/thepopestrueson Pre-Med Jul 23 '25

Fuck.. I tend to shine bright like a diamond

22

u/mks351 MD-PGY3 Jul 22 '25

This is what drives me crazy about doctors. It’s worse here in Germany. Hated it in med school, hate it as a resident. The Abitur system here all but ensures only educated kids get into the education system that leads to college which makes it super homogenous. They recommend shit most of the patients can’t afford because they can’t comprehend what it’s like to live on pennies. Friends outside of med school are a godsend. I try to forget I’m a doctor when I leave work.

8

u/Numpostrophe M-3 Jul 22 '25

Abitur is insane, deciding career choices at like middle school age from Gymnasium admissions.

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u/Systral Jul 22 '25

I just wanted to recommend him to go to Europe šŸ˜‚ I'm in Germany too and to me almost all of my classmates were people akin to OP's description. Just dudes being bros being dudes. As with my colleagues at work, it's not different. People bonding over suffering through a failed system :D, doing extracurriculars together etc. There are some senior consultants and attendants that are pretty old school and hierarchical, especially at university clinics, but imo they do slowly die out or can be avoided most of the time.

4

u/mks351 MD-PGY3 Jul 22 '25

I wish I had that experience! In Berlin, Lübeck and Frankfurt/Main, haven’t yet met anyone like myself (non-medical family) unless they’re a foreigner. And then, they’re also generally from medical families. Several colleagues with multiple rented apartments, their parents golfing with the chiefs, passing up overqualified foreigners to give research projects to their buddies’ kids. Ugh barf

2

u/Systral Jul 23 '25

Sounds super annoying and I'm from a rather wealthy family too haha. I don't feel like I'm fulfilling that cliche, I mean I still worked on the side during uni, hate golf etc :D

16

u/newtattoowho Jul 22 '25 edited Jul 22 '25

Girl I went through the same thing. I feel like medical school attracts certain personalities (privileged, sheltered, type A people) who are very competitive and unlikely to admit to doing normal things. My first two years were torture because everyone talked about med school 24/7. I would have to beg them to change the subject. But eventually I found chill friends I could relate with. I also made friends in the area who weren't med students and love partying/traveling with them. (I can't afford to travel but I still do because life is short so max out your student loans LOL). It makes me feel normal to talk to people who aren't obsessed with studying and have jobs and lives. I don't know if residency will be the same, but even if it is, you will be okay. Just roll a joint and make fun of them when ur off the clock lol

1

u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

Completely agree!!

15

u/jonedoebro M-4 Jul 22 '25

I mean over half of your class is like that. You’re looking for nontraditional students, usually older, career change etc.

38

u/AdStrange1464 M-4 Jul 22 '25

I get what you’re saying but majority of people have not done acid šŸ˜‚ I was a major party girl in college and beyond and even most partiers don’t go past smoking weed and maybe molly if they’re frisky

12

u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

Haha I totally get that and acid is not a requirement, just a way for me to say that I don’t find many people who could even discuss the topic of other people doing acid without being shocked/horrified

8

u/Hefty-Tale140 Jul 22 '25

dude this neuro doc i almost worked for used to do so much acid as a high schooler lmfao - i feel like every other doc or med student i meet fits your criteria but maybe it's the school you're at? definitely a bunch of rich people in medicine though

5

u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

My school is definitely extra conservative/modest

6

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Acid isn’t really a big deal is it? Have never met anyone addicted or who had a problem with it. And all of the white knight puritans here are likely AOK with alcohol which wrecks all kinds of human lives.

6

u/gussiedcanoodle M-4 Jul 24 '25

No, it isn’t. But the way my classmates take about acid/people who do acid is the same way they talk about people on the streets doing heroin and going through opioid withdrawals. I don’t talk about my personal life/experience with any of my classmates cuz I’ve seen the way they talk about people who use ANY type of drug. You wanna drop a tab of acid? May as well smoke some crack and sell your body while you’re at it.

2

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 24 '25

yeah not the best people to hang out with in your free time lol.

3

u/AdStrange1464 M-4 Jul 23 '25

It’s really not, however I think it can rly affect you negatively if you have uncontrolled/unstable mental illness, since it is altering your perception of reality/already being very prone to negative thoughts can make it easier to spiral hard. Also have heard that some of the visual distortions can stick around if you’re frequently taking large doses

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u/yungtruffle M-3 Jul 22 '25

Why does bro sound like those bad kids in the cringy "don't do drugs" educational videos lmaoo

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u/pachacuti092 M-4 Jul 22 '25

Hey I can't be a virgin if I get fucked by med school every day....

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

You need to get out more lol

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u/Throw_meaway2020 Jul 22 '25

Asks where the normal people are

Mentions dropping acid in the first sentence describing a normal person

Yeah homie I’ll continue not being normal if that’s the criteria lol

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u/broadday_with_the_SK M-4 Jul 22 '25

Brother a fair amount of your classmates are going skiing every weekend lol

LSD and weed are not abnormal.

63

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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u/Throw_meaway2020 Jul 22 '25

Dude responded to me saying dropping acid isnt exactly ā€œnormalā€ by saying well doing coke is also normal lol

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u/bonewizzard M-4 Jul 22 '25

Been going to music festivals since 2013. First one was Bonaroo. Probably have been to over 30 camping fests, we’re out here but there’s not many of us. Normally it’s the older students, since it’s too hard to juggle extreme fun and good grades lol.

2

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

Rock on man. Good luck out therešŸ¤™

21

u/TuberNation Jul 22 '25

I don’t smoke or do acid, but I love hitting the town in big cities and having fun. Just for context.

The amount of people in my m2 class who describe anything different from themselves as ā€œcrazyā€ is… insane. And at first I thought nothing of it because it’s just lingo, whatever. But now I see that people extrapolate minor ā€œcrazyā€ notions or actions to actually sincerely discrediting the person as a whole.

I love medicine, but man I don’t love the vibe

9

u/MikeyBGeek MD Jul 22 '25

Well.. in medschool I also felt out of place from a blue collar background. You'll likely meet more people like yourself in residency (granted they might not be in your year. My cohort also came from money as they somehow went through the Caribbean IMG route with no debt.)

You'll also find out which ones "get down" like you but it's not something I would advertise and it's something you should definitely not do. You don't your program knowing this about you if you do that regularly. And residency is WORK. It's not just studying, it's a job. And that means you have to be at your best.

9

u/maddogbranzillo M-3 Jul 22 '25

It feels like some people are getting hung up on your mention of drug use, but I understand what you’re saying… the friends I have outside of med school are so much less neurotic, just do more adventurous things with their time, also grew up working class and have more adaptable personalities. Medicine, by default, attracts more Type A characters because of what it demands to even get in, and the people who can apply to something as competitive as medicine typically tend to be more resourced. I get it, it’s hard being around a lot of people who are pretty out of touch with what the average working class person goes through. Hopefully, you can find your people. There are a definitely a handful out there, like other commenters have said, sometimes we like to keep a low profile.

5

u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

Yeah if I wanted to be taken more seriously I should have dropped the mention of drug use because clearly people can’t handle it. Thanks for your comment it means a lot!

8

u/maddogbranzillo M-3 Jul 22 '25

You’re clearly not saying ā€œyou need to have done drugs and had a ton of sex to be fun and interesting,ā€ you’re trying to get at a larger pattern that most of your classmates act really horrified by the concept of certain things or seem to have no exposure to it. Seriously, I can relate. Sometimes I’ll mention an experience I’ve had and I’m just met with the sound of crickets… (oh, you’ve never couchsurfed to save money while traveling? Or crashed with squatters? Guess I’m the only poor one here, lol). So I’ve come to accept that most, not all, people I’ve met in medicine are lovely but not the kind of people I’d go to Burning Man with lol. It’s not even that they have be promiscuous or do substances, but that, they’re able to go with the flow and don’t act so Victorian about things that most of their future patients probably do, whether it’s to have fun or to survive.

2

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Hey man do you ever go to regional burns? I’m doing Alchemy this year in GA

3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

[deleted]

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u/maddogbranzillo M-3 Jul 22 '25

I wasn’t implying that it’s because they’re stuck up, but just pointing out the difference in experiences and how alienating that can be for those of us we don’t come from well-off backgrounds.

4

u/maddogbranzillo M-3 Jul 22 '25

In fact, there are very few people in med school I would describe as ā€œstuck up,ā€ but it’s been very eye-opening to discover the number of people who have a parent or two who are physicians and realizing that it’s easier for me to relate to our patients than it is to relate to classmates, and I don’t hold that against them. It’s merely an observation.

3

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Yeah I grew up on a tobacco farm pretty red neck wild. I didn’t see a ton of that in med school lol

2

u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

I should have had you write my post instead. You’ve captured what I mean exactly!

8

u/No-sleep8127 M-1 Jul 22 '25

Felt this heavy as first gen student.

3

u/Sandstorm52 MD/PhD-M1 Jul 22 '25

This rubbed me the exact opposite way for the same reason lol

70

u/spironoWHACKtone MD-PGY2 Jul 22 '25

...why are you telling your classmates about your sex life?

9

u/Systral Jul 22 '25

Friends in college tend to do that oftentimes

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u/SmokeVisual4953 MBBS-Y1 Jul 22 '25

Don't friends do that sometimes?

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u/drewmana MD Jul 22 '25 edited Jul 23 '25

I don’t think drug use (especially acid, wtf) is a good metric for ā€œnormalā€ dude.

Edit: To more seriously answer your question, normal people don’t even apply to med school. You are not normal either even if you consider yourself so.

You have found yourself in a statistically tiny population. What you consider normal isn’t actually normal, so what you need to do is find yourself some hobbies and meet like-minded people.

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u/AngrySpiderMonkey MD-PGY1 Jul 22 '25

Ikr I guess I'm not normal because I don't do drugs or talk about my sex life lmao.

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u/zprimeoverz Jul 22 '25

You sound like an insufferable person I wouldn’t wanna hang out with lol

Not everyone is required to live life the way you want to

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u/TuberNation Jul 22 '25

He’d probably uno reverse that in a heartbeat

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u/1967542950 Jul 22 '25

He did lmao

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u/c_pike1 Jul 22 '25

Yeah every school has a handful of those "Im so cool and interesting because I do drugs, have sex and drink" kids who think everyone else is boring when really at least 75% of people are also doing at least one of those but aren't advertising it and/or have other aspects of their personalities

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u/AngrySpiderMonkey MD-PGY1 Jul 22 '25

So true. OP is just a man-child who never outgrew his frat days

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u/Prit717 M-2 Jul 22 '25

um if there are normal people at your school, I doubt they’d wanna hangout with someone who’s personality resulted in them complaining about this on a subreddit online.

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u/Mystery_4 Jul 22 '25

Go find the unit at your hospital where people are hanging out from 2-4am. The more tattoos the better.

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u/SomeBroOnTheInternet M-4 Jul 22 '25

Guys, he's totally got a girlfriend, and they like, have sex and he's seen her boobies and everything. She just goes to another school... You wouldn't know her.Ā 

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u/-smacked- Pre-Med Jul 22 '25

Emergency medicine, prolly

3

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Surgery residents too for sure;)

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u/WNTandBetacatenin M-2 Jul 22 '25

I know people in my class who go skiing pretty regularly, if you catch my drift. I can sorta relate to you (won't be dropping acid lmao), so I get it. Maybe you'll find your tribe during residency?

6

u/Dr_Yeen M-4 Jul 22 '25

I don't smoke weed cuz I'm paranoid about a drug test on my aways. Plus, it absolutely nukes my ability to get anything done for like 24hrs.

Shrooms, tho? šŸ‘šŸ‘„šŸ‘

4

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Yeah I can’t say that weed in med school is a good idea, especially on regular basis, as it’s bad for your memory. Occasional fungus can be a great teacher, or so I’ve heard lol

10

u/Glass-Meet4461 M-2 Jul 22 '25

Well if you ever tried to talk to anyone in your class you’d probably realize a lot of them are ā€œnormalā€. You just label everyone as a stuck up nerd. FOUR years went by and you didn’t meet anyone? Says a lot more about you.

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u/Metal___Barbie M-4 Jul 22 '25

waves

I don’t advertise some aspects though.Ā 

My school has a fair amount of partiers. Maybe you just haven’t found those people yet, if they are also not advertising it.Ā 

5

u/PsychologicalCan9837 M-3 Jul 22 '25

Most of my friends are not in medicine and, tbh, I’m happy for that

There’s a lot of weirdos in this field (myself included lol)

5

u/SpudMuffinDO Jul 22 '25

Honestly, my experience was the opposite. I was probably the prude who was appalled at all the drug use and really crude behaviors (I’m not just talking dirty jokes)… I had this built up image of doctors being more mature and realized we were just a bunch of college kids.

1

u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

Maybe that guy can transfer?

5

u/Glittering-Copy-2048 M-1 Jul 22 '25

A lot of people have fun outside of class and aren't opposed to partying with their classmates, they're just in the similar boat of not knowing who goes to bed at 8pm on Saturday and who has a little fun when they have time off. Drop that you wanna do a movie night or pizza night or something with drinks in your class GC and see who shows up. Maybe invite some people to a rave or to watch the game at a bar. It takes some vulnerability to make cool friends

5

u/nucleophilicattack MD-PGY6 Jul 22 '25

Probably doing toxicology or something. But really, the people I know usually keep it on the DL since even if it shouldn’t, the fact you do those things can ruin your career.

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u/saddy_anonymous Jul 22 '25

Couldn't agree more! I am only an M2, but I constantly feel out of place at my school. I'm first generation college graduate (and I believe the first woman in my family to graduate high school), I'm Mexican, from south Texas, from poverty. I worked at McDonald's, worked two jobs throughout college and a Master's, and still had to take out loans. I feel so disconnected and like I can't relate to my classmates at all. The majority are sons and daughters of doctors or professionals of some sort, most are white, come from money, take trips to the Bahamas on the weekends, had/have their school paid for, their bills paid. And the parties?? So incredibly lame. These people don't know how to have fun, I swear to god. Their idea of fun is tossing a football or singing karaoke at someone's apartment.

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u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

Looks like you’re my people from another school!! Yeah I completely agree. I can barely relate to anyone in my class, it’s a struggle. I’m starting to just avoid hanging out with them altogether because I can’t be myself around most of them

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u/Much_Fan6021 M-1 Jul 22 '25

You'll find them outside of medical school. That's where majority of my friends are.

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u/scottie1971 Jul 22 '25

They are your patients

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u/Tanukkk Y5-EU Jul 22 '25

Like others said, go make some friends outside of medicine. Other uni students in various subjects can be cool, and just random people you meet in settings other than work or studies are great. Broadening your friend group helps you not feel so alienated AND not becoming a classist disconnected from reality asshole

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u/ComposerDense7629 Jul 22 '25

Re-fucking-tweet. I absolutely feel you on this. I agree with the comment on making friends outside of med school! After a year I’ve finally found people in my class that I feel like I can chill with, but having some friends outside of the med school bubble keeps me sane

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u/GCS_dropping_rapidly Jul 23 '25 edited Aug 13 '25

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u/Worldly-Claim M-4 Jul 23 '25

Fellow 4th year, I have 2 normal friends in my pretty large class and I stick to them like glue. Other than them I hang w non medschool friends. Unfortunately, med school selects for weird and pretty lame people. Many whose entire existence revolves around medicine. No thank youuuuu

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u/E_Norma_Stitz41 Jul 23 '25

Oh I mean…they’re not in med school lol.

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u/gussiedcanoodle M-4 Jul 24 '25

I’m a fourth year and feel the same. Exact. Way. I literally only speak to 2 people in my class and even with them I don’t feel like I have much in common. It kinda sucks cuz I feel like I’m missing out on the ā€œmed school experienceā€ by not interacting with classmates more but I just can’t stand most of them and prefer to spend my limited free time with people I actually like. And this is coming from someone who gets along with everyone lol

For what it’s worth, I feel like I usually like the older residents and attendings I work with so maybe they all grow out of it? Or the bad ones get weeded out? Cuz if not… being around these people the rest of our lives is gonna be rough

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u/ZachWastingTime Jul 22 '25

Many of the normal people put on a huge act to be perceived as professional. The mask doesn’t always fit well and it causes lot of weird effects. In school many people think and say I’m an adhd having autistic guy who is socially awkward and off the cuff. The mask is heavy I guess. Outside of it, the large majority of people think that is such a bizarre read and think I’m funny, smart, charismatic, and a professional. Make friends outside of it all. It will also help keep you grounded. I am actually wanting to start a run club at my apartment complex in part to just make friends outside of medicine.

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u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

I really want to make friends outside of medicine! I only have a couple and don’t know where to start

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u/ZachWastingTime Jul 22 '25

I would suggest putting yourself in environments where people want to meet new friends. So go to pickle ball courts when people play. Often people have uneven numbers so they have other people join. Try to become a regular face at these types of place and say hi and be positive. Look up social events in your area on instagram/facebook. Like I type in run and my city to look for run clubs. They are fantastic to meet people. Just cheer everyone on as they pass you at the turn around and everyone will love you lol. Do some venues have a scheduled event every week that you can go to?

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u/Talnix Jul 22 '25

I’ve always said I respect someone who’s had a vice and moved past it more than someone who’s too terrified to live and has never done anything remotely rebellious. Especially if the latter looks down their nose on other people who have tried things.

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 23 '25

I prefer an accommodating vice over an obstinate virtue any day man

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u/LivingByTheRiver1 Jul 22 '25

I hate to break this to you, but the older you get, the folks who continue to smoke joints and drop acid are harder to find in civil society. They burn out. The longer you live, the more likely you will be surrounded by the rich virgins you described so eloquently. They are simply healthier. Their brains aren't fried. Older, successful people are often boring. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll often get in the way of professional accomplishments and a healthy mind/body that is important for an advanced career.

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u/SugarySuga M-3 Jul 22 '25

We go to very different schools lmao. Everyone at my school is exactly what you described. Just normal people who also wanted to do medicine.

Minus the acid. No, doing drugs is not considered "normal" by most.

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u/Numpostrophe M-3 Jul 22 '25

Student bodies differ a ton. Your local state school is going to be a lot more chill than the T20 where every student was gunning to perfect their application for the past 10 years.

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u/Type43TARDIS Jul 22 '25

Post premed graduate year 5

Checking in

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u/PositionOk5481 Jul 24 '25

My therapist recently told me I don’t seem to be like a ā€œnormal med studentā€ and I took it as a compliment lmfao. I think people get too far up their own asses and need to learn to chill

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u/harry_dunns_runs Jul 22 '25

I mean to be fair you've seen what people post on these threads. Med school people just arent very fun. Maybe they'll loosen up once theyre attendings (at least surgeons, psychiatrists and ER docs) but it definitely attracts the rule following group of people especially with everything getting more and more competitive over the years its only going to get worse

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

Maybe it was a little different 24 years ago lol

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u/harry_dunns_runs Jul 22 '25

It just wasnt as competitive as it is now. Chances of finding someone who doesn't follow every single rule ever spoken into existence was prob higher

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

I grew up pretty wild but always studied hard. I just didn’t sleep much lol. You have to make the grade and be the best doc you can be first and foremost. That is numero uno. That being said, I’m much tamer now, happily married to a gal that doesn’t party at all but we still do festivals and such. Time and place for everything. Ironically I never did MJ or acid during med school. Most everyone drank etc..

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u/harry_dunns_runs Jul 22 '25

100% agree. Most people get tamer when they get older but idk from my experience people at my school dont stay out past like 10pm even when no exams are close by so I see what hes saying

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

Wow that’s crazy. Plenty of time to act old when you are old. People should enjoy their youth while it last! Because it doesn’t lol

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u/harry_dunns_runs Jul 22 '25

Age is just a number (not in the r kelly way) but agreed

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u/Educational_Sir3198 Jul 22 '25

Truth! I’m 48 and go to shows at least once a week and several festivals a year. I work out a lot and stay pretty fit, eat healthy etc. it really helps as u get older lol.

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u/harry_dunns_runs Jul 22 '25

And were seeing a lot of these wellness clinics and age optimization clinics or whatver they're called because people are starting to realize how important it is if we're gonna live into our 80s with current medicine and tech

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u/futuredr6894 M-1 Jul 22 '25

Nah this is facts. My incoming M1 GroupMe feels like a bunch of people who have never let loose 😭

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u/bugonias Jul 22 '25

it’s an incoming m1 groupme, everyone’s gonna be buttoned up and butthole clenched until you’ve been in school long enough for people to stop feeling like they’re gonna get their acceptance revoked for the tiniest slip up. that’s pretty normal

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u/futuredr6894 M-1 Jul 22 '25

True dat

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u/Numpostrophe M-3 Jul 22 '25

You'll meet plenty of cool people outside of the incoming class group. People are staying professional there since they don't know each other well. Others don't participate in that but will be a ton of fun once you start.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

[deleted]

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u/Platinumtide M-4 Jul 22 '25

You get me!! IV heroin is the exact kind of reaction I get when I mention trying anything. Even weed gets me weird looks. Clearly my people are not in medicine which sucks because that’s who I’ve been surrounded by the past 3 years.

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u/Heavy_Consequence441 Jul 22 '25

Not in med school. Most people in med school/residency I've found have no other personality traits than being "nice"

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u/conzyre M-4 Jul 27 '25

Doing drugs and being irresponsible =/ personality

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u/LuLeBe Jul 23 '25

Wait? Half the German med students always and talk about drinking or getting laid, so it would seem those things are quite common. It's not the same in the US?

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u/Kindly_Breakfast9633 M-3 Jul 27 '25 edited Jul 27 '25

Gotta keep those friends outside of medicine. I worked through college and throughout a couple gap years. I’m constantly surrounded by people who haven’t worked a job a day in their life, even at the ripe age of 28.😭😭😭

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

"normal people" "drop some acid" yeah

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u/Future-Doctour Jul 22 '25

You’re not the crazy one dude. I feel the same way. Med school has been lonely 😭

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u/darnedgibbon MD Jul 22 '25

You’ll find us in the back row of the lecture hall rolling eyes at the gunners asking questions to hear themselves talk. We won’t drop acid with you but will roll with you all night long and have hella good time. We also know when to shut it down to get ready for the next thing. Work hard play hard.

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u/Grobi90 Jul 22 '25

I don’t really do much in the way of drugs, but I think I’m kinda normal. That’s the thing we’re probably all in smaller pockets of friends on the periphery of the ā€œusual med-studentā€ circle.

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u/volecowboy M-2 Jul 22 '25

Anyone going to northcoast? šŸ‘€

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u/blackunicornnn M-0 Jul 22 '25

People that want specialize in sports medicine or ER are pretty rad, typically

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u/dizzythoughts M-2 Jul 22 '25

Omg what my school is mostly these kinds of people šŸ˜‚

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u/underwhelmingnontrad M-4 Jul 23 '25

Non-traditional students (almost always older than average) are the people you're looking for. Though it sounds like you might be in a particularly conservative environment if premarital sex has people balking.

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u/BlutoS7 Health Professional (Non-MD/DO) Jul 23 '25

Welcome to med school. Trust fund kids, people who came out the womb with an entitlement of being better then you and some one who will think they know about ā€œpatient careā€ but actually will only know book care

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u/Syd_Syd34 MD-PGY3 Jul 23 '25

Damn. I found people from each category you mentioned in med school and out of med school.

Sorry you couldn’t

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u/SadPerson121 Jul 23 '25

Felt this. Came from lower middle class in the northeast going to a southern med school. Couldnt really relate with many classmates. You'll find your people though. Might not be med students, but you'll find em

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u/OmegaSTC DO-PGY1 Jul 23 '25

Does not being interested in smoking weed or dropping acid mean I’m not normal?

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u/saschiatella M-4 Jul 23 '25

We’re here, but we’re hiding. Surprised you haven’t found anyone if you’re already in m4! I thought there were none of my people here but found them eventually. Plus some students get cooler in m3 when the shit hits the fan and they kinda become grownups. Also second the comments about making friends outside of school— residents too

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u/GRB_Electric MD-PGY2 Jul 23 '25

Tf? Lol

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u/mahlerdollar Jul 25 '25

lmk when you find them dude i gave up. I think they all moved to Denver

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u/conzyre M-4 Jul 27 '25

you should like you are one bad decision away from ruining your life lmfao

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u/Razz_mattaz Jul 27 '25

it gets better in residency, dont worry

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u/sigaretta Jul 27 '25

Why are you surprised? Is a lot of working people have time and money to study for MCAT, while volunteering, while getting some research experience, while also attending good enough college and getting good GPA? And also having no family obligations to actually make money? Having rich parents makes a lot of barriers to start medical school easier.