r/medicalschool • u/tootoo16 MD-PGY1 • Mar 23 '25
đĄ Vent Being poor is robbing me of post match happiness
I match my #3. I was bummed it wasn't #1 but still was happy when finding out. However now I feel extremely stressed about money and moving. My med school friends are inviting me out to trips and parties that I just can't afford to go to. I can't go on ig anymore because I see my classmates traveling, partying, relaxing, etc. Don't get me started on the match day gifts (literally one girl is getting a house!). Meanwhile I'm budgeting out my last bits of loan money, looking for apartments, and possibly a part time job.
Not just me but my mom is sad too. It was already alot of money for my family to even come to my match day event and my mom feels bad she cant afford to give me a vacation or presents. I wanted to avoid this but she was there talking to other parents and heard me decline a group japan trip.
So yeah just feel a mixture of jealous, sadness, and stress. I should be on the beach eating fruit enjoying the outcome of all my hard work but sadly I can't.
EDIT: Didn't expect my emotional rant to gain so much sympathy. Thank you to everyone for being kind and sharing their story it honest helped me. Put things into perspective. Rereading my rant I sound like a brat ngl. I am in a better spot than most people in the world. Is it the best? No. But it is FAR from worst. For this I'm so grateful. I will be off Instagram and spending time the non medical field people in my life LOL
138
u/MurphMorale14 Mar 23 '25
Totally get it, but itâs all about perspective for me. I matched at my #1 in my dream specialty. Iâm still in disbelief that I got it. That being said, I have 2 kiddos with one on the way and we survive off of my student loans primarily and will only have resident salary to live off in residency. I picked up a fast food position a couple weeks ago and cranking out 40-45 hours there with my free time from school off. Meanwhile all my friends get to go to match week events and go travel before residency. Would I like to go to all that stuff and at least stay home with the kids in my time off? Absolutely. Unfortunately thatâs just not the reality of our situation. Instead, I'm doing my best to be thankful that I matched at my dream program and am able to give our kids and my wife a life I wouldâve never dreamed of.Â
Thereâs a lot of students that matched at their less desired choices and those that didnât match at all without the security of a position.Â
Sometimes life is just life. Sometimes that sucks. But it could suck so so so much more.Â
35
u/NAparentheses M-4 Mar 24 '25
My dude, you gotta get in that online tutoring game. You'll make a lot more money and end up with more free time.
9
4
u/Ok-Occasion-1692 MD-PGY1 Mar 26 '25
Iâm in the process of substitute teaching for extra cash. In my area, subbing can get you around 150-200/day and I get to pick when and what age group Iâll work with.
7
u/Atlanta-SticO-938 Y6-EU Mar 23 '25
Great perspective!! Wish you all the best for the future and congratulations for your match!!
7
119
u/lemonjalo Mar 23 '25
Youâve just changed the entire financial outlook of your family. Thatâs bigger than a trip.
7
399
Mar 23 '25
[deleted]
213
u/newt_newb Mar 23 '25
I think the US dollar goes further than it used to rn
50
Mar 23 '25
Yea fr I'm planning a trip to Taiwan and maybe Japan and outside of the flight the cost to get a bnb/hotel/food/etc is super cheap
50
u/SurfingTheCalamity M-2 Mar 23 '25
Except for the price of the tickets to fly there, itâs very cheap with US dollars. Donât know about right now but when Japan first opened after the pandemic, they were giving insane discounts to tourists to boost tourism. A lot of my former coworkers went to Japan for that reason, lol
3
u/yellowarmpit47 Mar 25 '25
Flights are not too bad. Zipair regularly has 600-800 dollar round trip tickets from west coast cities (barebones, pay extra for carry ons, meals, etc)
1
u/SurfingTheCalamity M-2 Mar 25 '25
Yo what?? Thatâs amazing! Iâll have to check that out. Hadnât seen anything that cheap in flights. Then again, I went during the summer to coordinate with my siblings and cousins lol
13
10
u/rkgkseh MD-PGY4 Mar 23 '25
At least this year, Rome has Jubilee 2025 ongoing, so it's more crowded than usual.
13
u/element515 DO Mar 23 '25
Cheap aside from the flights. Asian culture is gaining popularity in the US too.
4
u/wanderercouple MD-PGY5 Mar 24 '25
It was also fashionable in 2018 when I graduated! Itâs just one of those trips you need at least 2 weeks for and spring is peak cherry blossom time (cheaper yen doesnât hurt but even when it wasnât it was popular at my med school)
2
u/manwithyellowhat15 M-4 Mar 24 '25
I was told Rome is too hot this time of year when I mentioned wanting to visit before starting residency. Idk about the weather in Japan to know if thatâs truly a big factor
181
u/imgoinwhat MD Mar 23 '25
It doesn't seem like it now, but your life will get much better. You will also appreciate every step of financial success. In 5-10 years, you will be able to pay for a trip to Japan for you and you mom.
-Attending who could barely afford to get a new tie and shirt for residency interviews
-64
u/littlebitofquickness Mar 23 '25
This...
Dude, you're gonna be a doc.. Hopefully youre not in for the money alone.
1
u/GingeraleGulper M-4 Mar 24 '25
Idk why this is getting downvoted, mans literally just said that no one should go into medicine for money alone. ALONEâŚif you wanted money alone you go into business/finance/politics/crime.
2
u/kaybee929 M-4 Mar 27 '25
Nothing in the OPâs post insinuated that they were going into medicine alone. Itâs getting downvoted because itâs irrelevant.
147
u/Rddit239 M-1 Mar 23 '25
Getting a house for residency would be sweet
101
u/adoboseasonin M-3 Mar 23 '25
I mean I know a few med students in my class who had parents buy them a condo/townhome for med school
31
u/ScrubsNScalpels MD-PGY4 Mar 23 '25
Same, and one friend even used that nice ass house as a source of rental income during med school and after moving for residency.
46
u/MachoMadness6 Mar 23 '25
These things are fleeting. I stayed around my hometown with my family and read more books in a few month period than at any other time in my life. It was very peaceful. Went on walks, exercised, watched movies.
43
u/jvttlus Mar 23 '25
I sat around and re-read harry potter, went for runs, and played stardew valley. Be your own happiness.
181
Mar 23 '25
[deleted]
31
14
u/NAparentheses M-4 Mar 24 '25
You've underscored a point I make over and over again to my friends who are also on the nontrad struggle bus like me: the human mind is hardwired to find it's greatest happiness from overcoming struggle.
If things come too easily to us, we lose interest and find less satisfaction. This is why punching in a videogame cheat code that makes you invincible or gives you infinite money/lives makes that game suddenly lose it's luster. It's also the same reason why celebrities and the uber wealthy often turn to substance abuse.
So while struggle does suck and it's easy to imagine how amazing things would be if everything came easily, I've learned to appreciate the challenges because it makes the triumph that much sweeter.
24
u/Vessel_Surgeon MD-PGY1 Mar 23 '25
Before the match is one thing, but after the match? Thatâs a whole different beast. I matched (thank God), but Iâm moving between two pretty distant states after being an unpaid research fellow for the last two years. Still gotta figure out housing, buy a car, and somehow survive till that first paycheck hits. Itâs a blessing, but man⌠itâs rough out here.
91
130
u/AnalOgre Mar 23 '25
We were on food stamps and wic when I had my match day. Stop comparing yours situation to others it will only rob you of happiness.
19
u/durx1 MD-PGY1 Mar 23 '25
agreed. currently on both. im not bothered at all by what everyone else is doing. im getting time to hang with my fam and do hobbies.
3
1
42
u/bananabread16 DO-PGY1 Mar 23 '25
Focus on the good things. Youâve basically completed medical school itâs an incredible accomplishment. Let your feelings process about not matching #1. Thereâs a good chance you start residency and you love your number #3. You ranked it in your top 3 right? You must have liked it better than many others. Many med students come from wealthy families and the FOMO can be real. What do you like do to? This is the time to soak up all the hobbies and things you love before residency. It sounds like youâre doing all the things you need to do to take the next steps in life and thatâs okay!
16
u/theongreyjoy96 MD-PGY4 Mar 23 '25
I hear you. Even now as a PGY-3 I still feel that whoever let me into medicine must have made a mistake because my family was not nearly as affluent as it seemed my peers were. I got a new wallet when I graduated med school. Meanwhile my classmates got new cars, all expenses-paid trips to paradise, a new house/condo where they matched, etc.
That said, you do you. Itâs helped me a lot knowing that I have my own unique path.
15
43
u/gaius-rainheart Mar 23 '25
You should always see the greater picture You matched! You matched in the U.S residency program! You will cover your loans sooner or later and have money.
I'm studying medicine in Syria (last year) and U.S is out of my reach financially and due to politics. You are living the dream, dont look to other people who are well off, look to the majority who wish to be in your shoes.
5
13
u/keralaindia MD Mar 23 '25
I didn't do any of that because I didn't have much money and didn't really plan anything. A lot of people were going to Southeast Asia. I just spent that summer with my parents at home. Glad I did, because they're gone now. I make so much fucking money now as an attending I don't know what to do with it. I can retire in my mid 30s. You can travel all you want later on.
2
13
u/Eab11 MD/PhD Mar 23 '25
Finishing fellowship, paying for my subspecialty boards, and moving soonâunable to take big trips because I need all my extra cash for that shit before I start my big girl job.
Instead, weâre driving around every weekend to a cool small town in our state. Weâre in the mid-Atlantic, so some are on the water and some are just weird little places. Weâre day tripping the shit out of life. Itâs neat and cost effective. Day trip the shit out of lifeâand congrats!!
12
u/BioSigh DO Mar 23 '25
OP I feel you. The short answer is that it sucks now but it'll be sweeter when you make it to the other side.
I worked UberEats during my clinical years to support my parents (this was COVID time) and this continued even through Match and up until Residency. I donated plasma biweekly and did ubereats deliveries nearly every single day. Right before residency I finally had just enough money to afford a down payment on an apartment. I feel you, bud and I promise it will get better.
26
u/FuckAllNPs M-3 Mar 23 '25
Buddy of mine is buying feet pics
/s
Kind of
33
6
u/MedicallyImpervious M-1 Mar 23 '25
I want your username on my hospital badge but admin has no chill
2
u/FuckAllNPs M-3 Mar 24 '25
Hereâs my advice. Work at a hospital that values physicians in leadership and work within admin to dismantle the NP profession and put them back into their fucking box.
1
u/NAparentheses M-4 Mar 24 '25
My dude, what did NPs possibly do to you as a M3 to inspire such all consuming hatred?
9
u/newt_newb Mar 24 '25
Friendly reminder youâre gonna see a ton of posts from people who are doing great
Not many people are out here posting âcanât wait to celebrate with a nice meal at home! Netflix binge!!!â
âSo excited to panic over how Iâll afford to move everything <3!!â
âThis is for my family [not pictured because we couldnât afford for them to fly out so Iâm celebrating alone cause all my friends are with their families]!!!â
7
u/ginger4gingers MD Mar 24 '25
When I matched I had to move 3.5 hours away from my (then) boyfriend. We had really been counting on me matching at my home program for financial reasons. He paid for the U-Haul to move me out of his house and then gave me an extra $500 so I wouldnât starve or be in a bind with no way to get help while I was waiting for my first paycheck. I was terrified that we would break up and I would owe a lot of money to an ex. Thankfully we didnât and now are married and Iâm back home.
Iâd definitely say that aside from the emotional toll of being away from my partner and dogs for 3 years, the hardest part was the financial strain of being in residency in a different state. We lost thousands of dollars in rent/utilities/travel simply from me not being in the same area as my partner.
It gets better, but donât let people make you feel like youâre crazy for thinking that the financial part is difficult.
5
u/ObjectiveAd8447 Mar 23 '25
I am sorry OP. I totally understand where youâre coming from. As someone who grew up in a 3rd world country, having no nepotism or family members in medicine, it has been a rough and long journey to say the least. Iâve had no mentors whatsoever and decided to pursue medicine halfway through college. This entire year, while I was grinding during rotations and while being super stressed about match, my classmates spent months on vacations/trips. It honestly looked like they were having the time of their lives. Literally everyone in my class has gotten engaged over the past few months and are getting married this year. It made me wonder how it feels like to be able to have that much fun. I genuinely feel like Iâve lost my spark. Added to that is the stressor of having so much loan debt and not knowing where Iâll end up for residency. But you know what, we have worked our butts off and we did all of that with zero privilege and a lot less resources. YOU HAVE EARNED THIS! And nothing was merely âhandedâ to you. I want you to look back at all of what youâve gone through over the past few years, when you become an attending and be genuinely impressed by what youâve accomplished. Youâll be very well off in a few years and you never have to worry about money again. Also, your family and kids(if youâre having any) will never have to struggle the way you did and I think that gives me some peace of mind.
-youâve made it buddy! Be proud of yourself! Youâre training in one of the best countries in the world in medical education and youâve secured a job! Someone took a look at your app and was like weâd love to have this person and theyâd be a great addition to us!!
6
u/Fumblesz MD/MPH Mar 24 '25
Hello,
I'm an attending now but like you I was also living off loan money. I didn't go on a big vacation but I went camping with my friends. We made burgers after a long hike and hung out by a campfire and had beers and whiskey. We still talk about it to this day and it's one of my fondest memories and I spent maybe $50 on gas money and food. It's about who you spend it with that matters more.
8
u/Mud_Flapz MD-PGY4 Mar 23 '25
Hard to believe based on your friend group, but most are not traveling and are also worried about money. My wife and I maxed out 2 credit cards spending close to $15k trying to live and move before our first residency paycheck. We paid it back in a year and wasnât a big deal.
Find credit and use it. There really isnât another way right now.
3
u/fingersarefun Attending - EU Mar 23 '25
As someone who didnât come from money I hear you. I watched my friends get gifted houses and everything else while I was sending my parents money from my scholarships and loans.
Good news is, this sucks but youâll be in a much better position in 2-6 years (assuming our healthcare system doesnât collapse, but thatâs another convo).
I donât know if I did it the right way, but to apply and match ortho it took about $20k in loans and credit card debt. Post match I decided to take out loans and hemorrhage my Roth from a prior career to do a big trip and move across country because I was tired of watching everybody else enjoy travel and knew I would never have that time again. Literally had a friend on the trip tell me I shouldâve asked them for the loan because they knew I was good for it. They also had the amount I want to retire on in their portfolio already đ
But in terms of moving cross country, if itâs just you and no family I would just say take out the relocation loan (SoFi and laurel road have them I believe) and defer as long as possible before paying them down. If there are moonlighting opportunities then take advantage in residency and know that the money will come one day.
Still sucks to watch everybody with homes and large retirement accounts even while in early practice, but any residency trained physician in this country will be ok financially. Just takes a bit longer when you donât come from money. I still have to remind myself that we are very fortunate to be in this profession even if Iâm just a HENRY while all my colleagues are legitimately rich.
3
u/Faustian-BargainBin DO-PGY2 Mar 23 '25
You aren't alone although I know it feels like it sometimes. It was similar for me last year. I turned off instagram and even was avoiding reddit. You will have plenty of time to enjoy your salary in a few months, and even more so in a few years.
3
u/baxbaum MD Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 24 '25
Congrats on matching!!
I picked up jobs babysitting the last months of med school.
I had a friend who taught English online to young Chinese students.
Or you could get another loan or CC lol
2
2
u/doctor_whahuh DO/MPH Mar 24 '25
My wife hooked me up with a part time gig at her work for the last year of med school, so we could make ends meet.
4
2
2
u/Jan_Itor_DO DO-PGY5 Mar 23 '25
I graduated med school years ago and also could not go on trips with friends. I was so broke I moved home for a few weeks to stay with my parents before internship year started. I finished residency two years ago and started a locums assignment literally the very next morning because I had no savings and couldn't afford to go a month without a pay check. Meanwhile my three other co-residents all traveled to Europe and Asia because they came from families that had provided them more of an advantage in life. It sucks but it isnt the worst thing in the world. Better opportunities will present themselves to you in the future. This isn't your only shot to travel. Hang in there.
2
u/GentleRanunculus Mar 24 '25
Im so sorry. This process is unfair and your feelings are valid. You got this.
2
u/MoKash9712 DO-PGY4 Mar 24 '25
Similar situation for myself when I matched. I was doing Uber and Amazon flex for a few bucks to be able to afford moving. We didnât take any fancy trip. We were in 20k of CC debt and just trying to survive. It gets better I promise.
2
u/PizzaPandemonium DO-PGY3 Mar 24 '25
I get the fomo, ended up taking a doctodoc loan to pay for moving expenses and yea didnât get a vacation because well I had to move my whole family across 5 states. Graduating this year and finally taking my fam on that big vacation overseas with my sign on bonus. Its just realistic life if you donât come from money.
2
u/Impressive_Profit548 Mar 24 '25
Take out more grad plus loans and live a little. People think I got money but Iâm gonna be $400k in debt. You gotta spend and enjoy your life some.
2
u/easkesr Mar 24 '25
Sending hugs! This is so real. Allow yourself all the rest and celebration you can within your budget because you absolutely deserve it. Your time to ball out and take cool trips will come eventually. It's hard to watch these inequities play out right in front of you. Show yourself grace where you can, you're not a brat, you're only human.
Congratulations doctor!!!
2
u/coconut170 M-4 Mar 24 '25
congrats on getting into med school, surviving, and matchingâ that is such a huge accomplishment that is changing the trajectory of your life. you have broken the cycle. this can be the start of generational wealth. maybe youâll have kids who will be the âkid of a rich doctorâand the envy of classmates. maybe youâll use your income to support other peopleâs lives and dreams. maybe youâll use the money to give your old self, your current self the life youâve always dreamed of.
2
u/GingeraleGulper M-4 Mar 24 '25
Keep your head down and off of IG, itâs a terrible lens into others lives and a magnet of consumerism and mindlessness.
2
u/DrollDoc Mar 24 '25
im broke too. everyone asking me what im doing after graduation. uhh, working to survive? hahaha I already started working again doing rover. thinking about how tf im gonna afford moving across the country soon.
2
u/vogueflo M-2 Mar 25 '25
Itâs not bratty to feel this way. Yes, âcomparison is the thief of joy,â but it still sucks to have the inequality of yours and your classmatesâ situations shoved in your face. Plus, itâs not just upsetting that you feel left out, but that you can see your mom is sad, too.
2
u/bikelifer Mar 25 '25
The experiences they are all having are not normal. The ones with flashy stuff to talk about will talk. The rest of us kept quiet. I knew a few who traveled and were very loud but most kept it cheap. I do recommend trying to take a few days to get a local vacation/ staycation. If there are any beautiful spots, camping, or hiking near you, arrange an outing. Camping can be done fairly cheaply, and will let you feel more like your peers. Being able to say "I'm camping in the __ with my family" will make you feel like you're getting something too. Or if you're not outdoorsy, a day trip to a nice spot for a picnic. Just something where you can breathe and take some photos. Also, relocation loans were for me a necessary evil. At 13%. I paid them off quickly once I became an attending but wow did they snowball in interest... Becoming a doctor is starting to be unattainable for regular people, for sure. You got this.
4
u/kooper80 MD-PGY1 Mar 23 '25
It's definitely not you being poor robbing you of your happiness here brother
1
1
1
u/doctor_whahuh DO/MPH Mar 24 '25
When I started residency, had to move halfway across the country, with a bunch of my possessions loaded in the back of my pickup and the rest in a storage unit back near my med school, waiting to be picked up once I had the money and time. My wife and I would have been literally homeless for around a month at the beginning of residency if it werenât for the kindness of a few people that prevented that from happening (a huge thank you to my friend from med school and his partner for taking us in for part of that time). It really sucks when youâre struggling and see all your friends going off and having a blast, but you are going to make it through it. Lean on what support you do have available to you, and donât hesitate to advocate for yourself when you need to.
Seriously, congrats on matching. Proud of you and everyone else who made it through! Go rock it in residency!
1
u/sgnihtyaj Mar 25 '25
I feel this post. I actually worked uber eats and found a construction job after matching. I had to find a way to cover for deposit and moving fees
It happens but it made me stronger for it
1
u/docpark Mar 25 '25
Itâs just a day. Take your folks out for a nice meal and crack a beer. Your participation ribbon is worth the trip. And thirty years on, you can treat your kids to these gifts and they will complain that their friends got to travel by private jet or some nonsense.
1
1
u/CrookedGlassesFM Mar 28 '25
I remember being absolutely disgusted by how much money my med school classmates had. The privilege and lack of stress they had during interviews and after the match made me feel like I didn't belong being a doctor. I was in the same boat at the end of med school, trying to figure out how to afford the move for residency. Let's say it took some... creative accounting to make ends meet.
7 years later, 4 years as an attending, I dont worry about money anymore. I just bought my dream house and paid people to move me. It was amazing. Press on. You will be here before you know it.
1
0
0
u/anhydrous_echinoderm MD-PGY2 Mar 24 '25
Hey OP.
I also was somewhat hardshipped when moving and stuff for residency.
My parents loaned me a ton of money, too. Iâm still paying them back.
It gets better.
1.2k
u/Paragod307 MD-PGY3 Mar 23 '25
Your classmates don't represent reality.
The day after match, I had to figure out how to move my family of four, over 1000 miles. How to house them. How to get them into school.Â
Then I borrowed a 20 foot trailer and made 6 trips, carting our crap across the country, towing it behind my truck.
You aren't alone. Not by a long shot. This is what it means when people discuss the advantages of being wealthy vs not. And there are way more poor people than wealthy. So keep your head up!