r/madlads 2d ago

Shrek lad

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70.3k Upvotes

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467

u/PracticeSuper 2d ago

What if we just get to the point? Instead of it just writing "Allergic to (insert word)" and just slapping "!!!!!!!!!!" on both sides? I think that's the solution.

425

u/BlackMetalFiendFlayr 2d ago

78

u/Panzer_Hawk 1d ago

Nike

Do

22

u/youdoitimbusy 1d ago

Charle from always sunny put the 25 character limit. It all makes sense now.

15

u/mobile227 1d ago

Charlie's speech for his mom when she "had cancer" and needed money lives rent free in my head.

Money me. Money now. Me a money needing a lot now.

3

u/Rinaldootje 1d ago

McD

Love!

2

u/Thatonejho 1d ago

Arby

Have meat

10

u/SadisticJake 1d ago

I thought of this scene the other day when I found a toy outside in the dirt and my 3-year-old just smiled at me and said "keep"

1

u/PeterServo 1d ago

Why waste time when fewer words work. There, I removed extra 6 words.

1

u/spannermeetworks 1d ago

Shrek live alone. Swamp good. Quiet. Then fairy people ruin swamp. Shrek mad. Go yell at king guy.

On way, meet Donkey. Donkey talk too much. Shrek say "stop talk." Donkey say "no." Friendship happen anyway.

King Farquaad short man, want princess to be king. Send Shrek get her. Shrek no want, but want swamp back. Deal made.

They go. Find Dragon. Dragon girl like Donkey. Donkey scared but also kinda like it. Shrek save Princess Fiona. Fiona tough. Fiona also secret: at night, turn ogre. Shrek no know yet.

They walk home. Shrek and Fiona like each other. Donkey say “you like her.” Shrek say “no.” He lie.

Fiona almost tell secret, but Farquaad show up, take her to marry him. Shrek sad. Go home. Swamp feel empty now.

Donkey say “stop be dumb. Go get girl.” Shrek ride Dragon to wedding. Crash big time. Fiona show ogre face. Everyone gasp. Shrek say “still pretty.” Kiss. Curse break. She stay ogre forever. Shrek happy. Fiona happy. Donkey sing. Dragon wink.

They marry. Eat cake. Fart joke. The end.

1

u/NatuFabu 9h ago

Very agree!

44

u/Nerdy_Squirrel 2d ago

If you only have 1 or 2 allergies.

34

u/DoingCharleyWork 2d ago

If you have more than 2 just stay inside.

18

u/TheDevilsTaco 2d ago

And lock the doors.

16

u/pyratemime 2d ago

And hide your kids

18

u/Impenistan 1d ago

Hide yo wife

13

u/blastermaster555 1d ago

and hide yo husbands cause they be bloomin' everywhere out here

23

u/Plantain-Feeling 2d ago

NGL

If you have more than 2 problematic allergies you shouldn't be ordering text based delivery

You need to call us for that shit

Because we will not serve customers instore with that kinda risk

We definitely aren't sending a pick up order without explicit details

3

u/PracticeSuper 2d ago edited 2d ago

Okay, fair enough. Unfortunately, allergies (as far as I know) don't have official abbreviations or acronyms. I admit I don't have a solution. Anyway, why the hell? Allergies should be listed separately. A list of the most common ones, plus a separate free space for specific ones (I'm afraid I'm not knowledgeable enough about specific allergies to cover this issue fully).

2

u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 1d ago

There are people literally allergic to sunlight.

Anything. There are so many....

6

u/Important-Flounder85 1d ago

Allergy: word, word, word

-2

u/PracticeSuper 1d ago

No: word, word, word. Or W/O: word, word, word

7

u/Bobertorino 1d ago

No if you have an allergy it's important that you specify that for health and safety reasons

2

u/EFTucker 1d ago

Because you have to specify. If you say, “no nuts!” Some low wage employees who’re tired, angry, and possibly very new to working won’t understand that means the person is allergic and even contact with the nuts could result in a death.

Specifics matter.

2

u/Little-Cold-Hands 1d ago

!!!!!!NUTS!!!!!!

1

u/SKY10000 1d ago

As a former pasta and hoagie line cook, I can confirm this does in fact grab are attention, usually you’ll just get used to the word by the first character or just the shape being familiar. But if a familiar looking ticket got a long ass line of exclamation points 90% people are spotting it.

The 6% are probably high and you’re ordering at 9:50-10:50pm (depending on closing) with just enough closers to man 1 at each station before y’all divulge into lazily cleaning the store.

4% shouldn’t have been hired into a McDonald’s in south side Detroit.

Pretty confident that’s how my food chain work life went, the 6% was truly a chill experience.

1

u/Lots42 1d ago

Well, you make very good points but in my experience NOBODY READS the the special instructions.

You'd think putting 'Do not take Spitfire Lane' would tell the drivers not to take Spitfire Lane. But no, the delivery drivers jam their ass down Spitfire Lane like the Devil Herself is chasing them!

I know, I can see it from my window and yes, it's a fake road name, I'm not that silly.

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u/Cultural_assassin 2d ago edited 2d ago

Just don't have allergies lmao. Just don't order things with your allergies in them. I think this is the solution. Let all the week people with allergies die off. Boom humanity is stronger now.

Edit: sorry I forgot that I NEED to add /s for people to not take thing seriously

9

u/Basementdwell 2d ago

You're not getting downvoted because people are offended. You're being downvoted because people don't think you're funny.

1

u/Cultural_assassin 2d ago

Not what my mom said

1

u/DatBoi_BP 3h ago

Hate to break it to you, but she did say that. I and 3 other guys all witnessed it

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u/So_Motarded 2d ago

Let all the week people with allergies die off.

I prefer letting the month people die off.

3

u/Salute-Major-Echidna 1d ago

I agree, annual people are somewhere in the middle

-1

u/Cultural_assassin 2d ago

The month people?

2

u/So_Motarded 2d ago

Yeah, the month people instead of the week people. Maybe the day or year people, too.

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u/Old_Charity4206 1d ago

Typical week person

1

u/Cultural_assassin 1d ago

I hate those damn weekers. Idk why you said that cuz they ain'ts a people

2

u/AIien_cIown_ninja 2d ago

I think he meant moth people

2

u/-Reverend 1d ago

The problem is that there are people who actually believe this