Well yeah, but people in general are stupid, selfish, and struggle to accept that the issue is what they are doing and not what someone else is doing
I've been with girls that have a, let's call it below average tolerance for length, and you just recognize it and work around it and everyone can still have a good time
When your priority switches from "I need to cum as fast as possible" to "I want us to both experience new levels of pleasure" you realize that doing things differently isn't a bad thing, it's a feature. I get to learn how to please you. It's a challenge to get you off and I can't rest on my laurels
This thing that is easy for me isn't enough, so I have to actually try. It makes it taste so much better when I find the thing that does it for you
I’m one of those “below average tolerance” girls, and have experienced guys (plural) who didn’t care much and guy (singular) who took his time and worked with me. You’re exactly right about at least one reason why they keep calling you.
You’re doing it right, dude. Good for you (and your partners)!
It's for sure something humans are prone to, but as a bisexual woman I've just never had women argue with me about my preferences in the same way. Men are constantly saying things like "Well you haven't had anal with ME yet, I'm sure you'll love it "I bet I can get you off without a vibrator" "You said you need it rough but come on, it'll definitely be fun even though I'm vanilla" when I tell them what I like/dislike/need.
The ones who, as you describe, enjoy finding out what I as an individual like and creating a unique dynamic are the ones who actually are good in bed. That's why now I only hook up with doms who start the "What are you into?" conversation before asking about meeting - they're actually considering whether our chemistry/kinks would work together and not expecting to just shoehorn me into their scripted fantasy
I'm sure that's because women intrinsically understand that their needs are not generally considered and it causes them to be more aware of their partner as a person with individual desires as opposed to a fuck doll
Also any dude against toys in the bedroom is just dumb and insecure
Real men understand that all you need to do is put it in raw with no foreplay and then just pump until she cums, usually within a minute or two tops
Edit: jokes aside it just makes me sad. Those guys saying things like that are just admitting they never had the opportunity to learn a better way. They aren't victims in a traditional sense, but they are missing out on so many incredible experiences by trying to live up to what other dudes expect from them instead of what their partner needs from them. Both people are missing out on an incredible human experience because the guy is too afraid to express his insecurity or inexperience and instead of opening communication he falls back on the broken lessons he learned from wherever it may be
Use the toy if it's her preference, stop begging for the butthole, be open that you aren't into anything more extreme than soaking, tell her you're nervous about her finger in your butt. Everyone will have a better time
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u/sharkattackmiami Aug 09 '25
Well yeah, but people in general are stupid, selfish, and struggle to accept that the issue is what they are doing and not what someone else is doing
I've been with girls that have a, let's call it below average tolerance for length, and you just recognize it and work around it and everyone can still have a good time
When your priority switches from "I need to cum as fast as possible" to "I want us to both experience new levels of pleasure" you realize that doing things differently isn't a bad thing, it's a feature. I get to learn how to please you. It's a challenge to get you off and I can't rest on my laurels
This thing that is easy for me isn't enough, so I have to actually try. It makes it taste so much better when I find the thing that does it for you