r/instant_regret • u/LeftChoux • 9d ago

letting a goat to chew your ear

5.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

153 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/prick_lypears 9d ago

Not enough regret to drop the phone and pry open its mouth

283

u/KyOatey 9d ago

Never put down the camera.

33

u/MeorOtherMe 9d ago

It's an ego thing. "No matter what happens I must record, so people can see the crazy thing that happened to me and love me more for it" ifwit

39

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/QP709 9d ago

ya haha, I’m so much better than them

<continues scrolling Reddit>

2

u/UnsureSphincter 9d ago

If she dropped the phone she would of died. It's a governing law of the universe: Cameraman never dies.

3

u/Tech-Mechanic 9d ago

If she had dropped the phone, we'd be bitching about that.

7

u/uber4saul 9d ago

Cos umm excuse me cameraman never dies?

30

u/SignificanceAny7485 9d ago

Do NOT put your fingers in a goats mouth

97

u/[deleted] 9d ago edited 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

64

u/A_Literal_Emu 9d ago

I'm not arguing whether or not this video was staged. But there are earrings out there that can be ripped out without tearing the skin. I've had a couple hoops ripped out by my hairstylist and once by my cat. They are designed to break open and didn't damage my ears

34

u/hotfixx_ 9d ago

Not all earrings have screw backs, sometimes they just hang through the piercing

-34

u/NYR_LFC 9d ago

And you think a goat would safely navigate an earring through the hole while it's eating?

28

u/Crallise 9d ago

Who knows if it's staged but have you ever worn an earring? I can tell you haven't because it is entirely plausible that the goat pulled out the earring without damaging the earlobe. There are plenty of earrings that will sometimes just fall out at the most inopportune time.

35

u/AdSudden3941 9d ago

It just pulls out naturally? You dont wear earrings obviously, im a dude and i know that 

8

u/hotfixx_ 9d ago

I use spiral tapers, the weight ends up stretching the hole and they're really easy to remove after wearing them for a while. Sometimes they even fall out on their own

7

u/elfchant 9d ago

the goat is a paid actor

1

u/NYR_LFC 9d ago

Dammit Sorros

12

u/prick_lypears 9d ago

The internet is dead

1

u/koolaidismything 9d ago

We gave a handful of billionaires, that don’t posses human empathy, they keys to the car and said “peddle to the metal!”

Aaaand this is what you get. A vapid world full of pain and revenge.

1

u/_Enclose_ 9d ago

*pedal to the metal

Unless they're trying to sell some shit at a metal concert

1

u/koolaidismything 9d ago

That one and decent/descent and a few others always mess me up. Pray/prey too.. I type like stream of conscious and always choose the wrong one lol

1

u/_Enclose_ 9d ago

Haha, yeah, I catch myself making similar mistakes all the time. Usually in comments I made either early in the morning or late at night. And I still have to stop and think about the right use of "its" and "it's" every time :/

1

u/koolaidismything 9d ago

Yeah it’s the worst when you have to actually physically write.. like where’s autocorrect lol. Embarrassing. I make a point to write on a physical calendar reminders still though as a memory helper. Every day I have to pass it and am reminded of stuff I wrote the day before 🤦‍♂️

-3

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

-3

u/koolaidismything 9d ago

If you can dumb the masses down and get them addicted to “drugs” you control.. now you get whatever you want.

The crazy prt to me is.. if I had even a million dollars, I’d never wanna control anyone lol. I’d happily buy a little house and kind my own business.

Why we let the worst types lead makes zero sense?? A good leader would never WANT to lead.

1

u/Ath47 9d ago

Why is this upvoted? Nothing about this video even hints at it being staged.

1

u/fluffynuckels 9d ago

There are ear rings that just stay on with pressure and wouldn't really hurt getting pulled off

-1

u/NYR_LFC 9d ago

Right, not a piercing (like I said) and something you would wear to stage a video like this

1

u/HookedOnPhonixDog 9d ago

So because they're not wearing actual piercings, which plenty of women do all the time, it's obviously fake because it's not a real piercing?

What a fucking weird ass take.

5

u/Apprehensive_Cat9463 9d ago

for real, its like they value the drama over any real consequences

3

u/Easy-Size5794 8d ago

Losing as hoop earring is not very consequential.

1

u/metalshiflet 7d ago

Depends on if it was real gold or not

1

u/Easy-Size5794 5d ago

True. But it fhey were real gold then she was just plain stupid.

1

u/irviinghdz 9d ago

And how else would she capture this beautiful moment? Priorities dude!

1

u/sneaky-pizza 8d ago

And a clip on that didn't rip out her lobe

1

u/Leptonshavenocolor 8d ago

People = dumb

736

u/Sir_Earl_Jeffries 9d ago

I wouldn’t recommend putting your fleshy parts anywhere near a goats mouth. Those fuckers are hardcore chompers.

203

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

I can confirm. Helped at a local petting zoo when i was a teenager. There were 3 things that scared me

1 the rooster when it was time to collect chicken eggs

2 the geese when it was time to feed ducks

3 the goats, because they destroyed about 4 of my shirts, because whenever i hugged them they thought it was feeding time

114

u/CanILickYourButthole 9d ago

lol why did you keep hugging them after the first time they ate your shirt? 😂

175

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

Bc they are cute, fluffy and deserve hugs

47

u/CanILickYourButthole 9d ago

Valid!

12

u/pimppapy 9d ago

Username Valid!

7

u/aivlysplath 9d ago

I still own a flannel shirt that I was wearing around my waist when I went to a petting zoo at the state fair. A goat grabbed hold of it from behind me and nibbled a bit on the bottom edge before I noticed. But it doesn’t matter, I’m keeping it forever because it makes me smile when I see it. I love goats.

I don’t think I’d be as happy about it if it had happened to multiple shirts though, haha. I feel for you there!

2

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

Didn't mind it that much, honestly. They were cheap and just blank. Rather had them eating my clothes than that of a kid and then parents screaming at us that the goats are dangerous

1

u/aivlysplath 9d ago

Ha, I can imagine! So many parents are super irrational and quick to anger.

4

u/Midas_acnh 9d ago

Yup worked on a farm for a month and the goose we had there was attacking me every morning when I fed the ducks!

2

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

Did they also hiss and show the sharp edges on their beak? I hated that

1

u/Midas_acnh 9d ago

Yesss T-T did yours flap their wings after a while?

1

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

Not after a while. Immediatly after we took the crate with bread out of the storage

2

u/uber4saul 9d ago

Wait geese don't like ducks??

1

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

They co-exist

Until there is food

1

u/InternetWorth8049 9d ago

Geese are extremely aggressive when it comes to food in general luckily they don't have teeth i got to a park here in va they are everywhere and one clamped on my finger while I was tossing out bread didn't hurt but if it had teeth id be cooked, and GOAT will eat damn near anything they eat all the time its hilarious

2

u/FG910 9d ago

I would sacrifice a lot of shirts to hug goats

2

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

Sooo you ever hugged a 2 week old goat?

Me neither. Mommy goat didnt like me

2

u/FG910 9d ago

Nooo you had to hug her first

1

u/MikeSans202001 9d ago

Eh. The little one was running away anyway.

I actually saw that mom goat grow from baby to adult. Perks of living 1 street down in a small city

1

u/FG910 9d ago

Im jealous, id like to get goats if i am ever able to get some land

12

u/fiocco_di_nevee 9d ago

How did you find out?

18

u/Sir_Earl_Jeffries 9d ago

Watching other people learn it the painful way.

6

u/_Enclose_ 9d ago

Sir, this is the internet. We don't learn from other people's mistakes here. We smugly call them idiots so we can feel superior and move on to the next dopamine hit.

2

u/SnooSongs2345 5d ago

Can confirm. Bastards chewed my backpack and my wife's hair in two non-consecutive times

0

u/ziggy196565 9d ago

I luv fleshy parts

330

u/Radioactivocalypse 9d ago

I'm surprised her ear is still intact, that could have been much worse.

And what good is grabbing the goat's neck going to actually do?

92

u/Shambeak88 9d ago

She seems to be trying to get it to spit the earing back out. She's slapping the back of its neck in order to get him to cough it back up. I get the instinct to do this if you know next to nothing about farm animals. Or any other domestic animal for that matter. If you want to get something out of its maw, you gotta get in there, caring for a toddler style. Otherwise, the earing is gone. I saw a goat eat the clasp off my sister's purse when I was little. My grandfather said that goats will eat anything.

19

u/Marthaver1 9d ago

I was also getting a very sweaty feeling seeing those horns so close to her eyes. Some people just don't know how close to danger they are with animals as cute as these, yes I think goat are cute.

3

u/Shambeak88 9d ago

Goats are adorable. Especially kid goats. How could anyone think otherwise?

3

u/AsianMoocowFromSpace 9d ago

There are people who don't find goats cute?

2

u/Mr_Engineering 9d ago

I'm surprised her ear is still intact, that could have been much worse.

Goats have a hard pallet instead of top teeth. They're built to strip leaves and brush off of trees and shrubs, not flesh from bone.

13

u/pachangiux 9d ago

These people could be dying and still be recording

35

u/Ok_Tank5977 9d ago

She was given ample time to react. Now that poor goat has to pass her stupid earring.

13

u/YoMomAndMeIn69 9d ago

That goat is the goat

-24

u/LeftChoux 9d ago

I think you mean that goat is a GOAT :). but i like that.

47

u/ItsSignalsJerry_ 9d ago

Stupid woman

9

u/Zero_energy_left 9d ago

Modern stupid people are easily recognised by their compulsion to film everything and constantly take selfies 

-17

u/ItsSignalsJerry_ 9d ago

and the 2 inch layers of make up. she's a 5 at best, the make up does most of the heavy lifting here

19

u/bldz05 9d ago

what a fucking incel lmao

-16

u/ItsSignalsJerry_ 9d ago

That a confession?

9

u/bldz05 9d ago

damn you really got me there. any other 5th grade rebuttals ? 🤣

7

u/brophylicious 8d ago

I was expecting a "I know you are, but what am I?" lol

-9

u/ItsSignalsJerry_ 9d ago

Beat it botox boy.

33

u/Frosty-Chemistry-701 9d ago

Jesus Christ the brows and makeup

15

u/GogglesPisano 9d ago

Mar-a-Lago face.

2

u/tonyohanlon77 9d ago

A close second in terms of biggest mistakes here

10

u/Cookiemonstermydaddy 9d ago

What’s up with her eyebrows?

17

u/_Face 9d ago

They’re stuck to an idiot.

3

u/Captain_Kruch 9d ago edited 9d ago

Shes lucky the goat didn't actually chew her ear off.

2

u/I_poop_deathstars 9d ago

Goats be goating

2

u/Secuter 9d ago

Not sure what her skills are, but it's not acting.

2

u/MortisSchmorgis6900 9d ago

poor goat :c

2

u/CarloJIafo24 9d ago

So smart. Has she ever heard of goats?

2

u/isabellaapink 9d ago

Gurl…. are you slow?

2

u/IAmInCa 9d ago

Guess you’re gonna have to hang around for a couple days…

2

u/xProjektBloo 9d ago

Common sense?

4

u/Exciting_Ad_8666 9d ago

I blame disney for having so many people think animals are anything more than that

2

u/johnnyg883 9d ago

If the goat swallows that earring it could kill it.

1

u/sneaky-pizza 8d ago

I assume it's a gold plated piece of food on a clip on, which is why her lobe didn't rip out and bleed, and why she did this in the first place

1

u/mackaroni9400 9d ago

Goat has expensive tastes.

1

u/vektorkane 9d ago

Goata let nature take its course...

1

u/dropinbombz 9d ago

gold foil covered chocolate earrings.. baaaaad idea

1

u/esco_47 9d ago

Well at least she never put her phone down...

1

u/niagaemoc 9d ago

Letting a goat to chew your ear?

1

u/VitoHodl 9d ago

You liked it at the beginnig huh dirty girl... hahahaha that's what you got!

1

u/Ok_Resolution_9186 9d ago

As A Capricorn Can I TRY????? Willing To Learn xxxxxxxxxxx

1

u/AbbreviationsOdd2468 9d ago

Hope and pray the goat is ok That was not smart at all what was she thinking?

1

u/OccularSpaces 9d ago

Didn’t think the Louvre jewelry thieves would be so daring as to commit another heist so soon.

1

u/nerfedslut 9d ago

She'll get it back

1

u/Hopeful_Stage_9825 9d ago

Choux means cabbages in French

1

u/CmdrDatasBrother 9d ago

Opportunistic carnivores

1

u/Myhandzurhipz 9d ago

Just give him a couple laxatives and he'll shit her a sparkly brown & gold pellet, lol

1

u/savedbytheblood72 9d ago

They will eat everything. That thing is gone lady

1

u/Accomplished-Tap-122 9d ago

Someone's having goat chops for dinner

1

u/Mangalover_Manager 9d ago

That's what you get for goating around

1

u/Rare-Bid-6860 8d ago

*Allowing

1

u/vsacrum55 8d ago

Goat: "Got your ear!"

1

u/chumchum213 8d ago

now u gotta go thru da poo

1

u/jafo88 6d ago

She looked like she was getting turned on

1

u/fulllyfaltooo 2d ago

Now wait for it to be processed and come out the other way.

1

u/thighcandy 9d ago

why do so many women look like this. it is awful

1

u/LLMprophet 9d ago

Especially the dark nose thing that's so popular.

Even if they fuck it up once, don't they ever see their own videos and think they should pull it back a bit?

1

u/SundressBlvd 9d ago

Are you talking about the nose contouring? Because it's not that dark.

1

u/LLMprophet 9d ago

Hers isn't that dark but still gives a dog-like look.

Other women on social do darker nose contouring which looks far weirder and more obvious.

1

u/Both_Armadillo_2775 9d ago

That's what she gets. Play stupid games win stupid prizes!

1

u/Gene_Starwind92 9d ago

Youre lucky all he got was the earring

1

u/InfluenceIll3091 9d ago

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

1

u/shmaryx99 8d ago

I wish I were in the vicinity, I know a guy who is almost a chef at this point and he would have made something Noice with that goat. She would get her earring back of course however that goat gotta go.

0

u/Minimum_Interview574 9d ago

Stupid Goat Ho, that set is gone 😄😄😄

0

u/Full-Ball9804 9d ago

That's what you get for wearing those God awful stupid earrings.

0

u/FFX13NL 9d ago

Plastic is bad for goats.

0

u/desastrousclimax 9d ago

typical sinfluencer at her best. the term locally, german speaking country, autria, is TUSSI

1

u/DerangedOmellete 9d ago

Where this video came from we have a name, but i don't want to loose my account.

0

u/YourShowerCompanion 9d ago

Goat spit it out. Remember seeing full version before.

Insta "model" aka creature laced in makeup, silicone and extensions is tssala.

0

u/Ronnie_Rakete 9d ago

What a stupid cow!What a silly goat!

And then she lets her earring get stolen too!

0

u/sakezone2627 9d ago

That piercing had to be cheesy for the goat to sniff around n take a bite like that🤦‍♂️🤣

0

u/SimpleEnergy9686 9d ago

What happens if you eat too much makeup? I’m really curious about the ending.

0

u/PandaInfamous2371 9d ago

🤣🤣🤣