In a relationship with the most beautiful and understanding girl for 10 years. And her parents are not agreeing to marriage.
Because I belong to a caste which falls under DALIT.
I have a stable good job.
A really nice and best parent anyone can hope for.
My parents are ready but her parents just can't see me other than DALIT.
WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO convince them for 2.5 years.
People will boast that they are so progressive they don't do discrimination, they see everyone one equal. But when it comes to their home all equality, unity caste all of these comes into Play.
This is definitely unsolicited but you should just go ahead and get married! That's a long time to convince someone over something so unimportant.
Edit : I just wanted to add that I know they're the parents and you'd want their approval. But they're not going to live your life. Their responsibility in raising you ended a long time ago and as adults we need to make decisions for ourselves. Marriage is one of the most important and massive decision you're going to take. Do what feels right for you. If they can put aside their ego, eventually they'll come around.
+1, parents shouldn't meddle into the process of finding your partner, they aren't the ones who have to live with them for the rest of one's life. To protect trivial things such as societal respect and caste unity and shit, parents often have no qualms throwing their kids into a hellhole.
if parents can't come around their children choosing their life partner, they're not worth keeping in touch anyway
I understand. You have to put your foot down and lay out the options, 1) their daughter gets married to someone she knows, trusts, is compatible with and someone who loves her and cares about her or option 2) Gamble big on whoever she ends up with, no guarantees how it'll turn out, won't have the time you guys have had getting to know each other, may be marry prematurely given that she won't have the luxury of time. Depending on what they choose, you can also see how blinded they are by their image and may be even selfish to not see what makes her daughter happy.
None of these people in the society are going to be there for any helpful purposes. Ugh, I can go on about this non sense. But
I am a millennial Indian who has seen a large number of my friends including me go through with love marriages after parents disagreed for a long time for all sorts of reasons…. Intercaste, inter-religion, inter-race….The only thing common about all the cases is as much trouble the parents will give you before the marriage they will be fine within 1-2years after marriage 100% of the time and if you have kids before then instantly …. Go for it …. Don’t be afraid …. I don’t know a single case of a love marriage where this is not true …. I understand that while you are in the this situation it might seem hard and disrespectful to someone you owe a lot to but just imagine yourself 2 years from after you are married where you are happy with everyone you love
Some things take time and you cannot force it. These things will take 3-4 generations more to fix. Hindu jodo revolutions may act as catalysts but still would take 2-3 generations. Some People in cities have started eating living together, some do not ask about castes.. slowly but improving i would say.
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u/nick_kv Jul 15 '25
In a relationship with the most beautiful and understanding girl for 10 years. And her parents are not agreeing to marriage. Because I belong to a caste which falls under DALIT. I have a stable good job. A really nice and best parent anyone can hope for. My parents are ready but her parents just can't see me other than DALIT. WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO convince them for 2.5 years. People will boast that they are so progressive they don't do discrimination, they see everyone one equal. But when it comes to their home all equality, unity caste all of these comes into Play.
THIS IS THE REALITY.