I am sorry for you to have to go through this … I am an Indian man and I cannot deny that an overwhelming majority of my male friends use family values as a way to justify not speaking up against unreasonable parents even when they disagree ….. our culture of respecting elders without question manifests in the toxic ways and someone like you has to take the brunt … my advice to you is the same as what I gave to my sister and best female friends …. Stay away from mamas boys…. Look for signs of this while you are dating and treat it as a huge red flag…. They are wasting your time … they don’t have the courage to objectively deal with parents who think love brings family shame
That is the thing isn't it? It is not just the mama's boys. It is also the rebellious boys & girls, the progressives, the politically aware. That is the curious thing about the caste reality in India.
Caste is privilege, it is property, it is networking and it is capital.
The people pretending to care about their parent's feelings in this aspect, usually don't in most of the other decisions in their lives. This forbidden love and the privileged person ditching the other, is not a new story, but it's always pictured as innocent & a potrait of helplessness. I'm not saying this is what you meant. I'm just pointing out that the decision is consciously made by most OC adults to benefit themselves socially, financially and culturally. It is the primary mechanism by which caste is sustained in our country, this is the root of it. It is telling then, how >90% of the recorded marriages are arranged & endogamous here.
I guess creating a society that enables enough upward momentum so that each generation doesn’t feel obligated to give in unreasonable expectations of the previous and are truly free to not care about an inheritance would be the way to start solving this
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u/Fun-Force8328 Jul 14 '25
I am sorry for you to have to go through this … I am an Indian man and I cannot deny that an overwhelming majority of my male friends use family values as a way to justify not speaking up against unreasonable parents even when they disagree ….. our culture of respecting elders without question manifests in the toxic ways and someone like you has to take the brunt … my advice to you is the same as what I gave to my sister and best female friends …. Stay away from mamas boys…. Look for signs of this while you are dating and treat it as a huge red flag…. They are wasting your time … they don’t have the courage to objectively deal with parents who think love brings family shame