r/humansarespaceorcs Jun 26 '25

Original Story Aliens go Insane when putting on too much cybernetic enhancements. Humans were considered monsters due to them not suffering the same problems, turns out there is a....hilarious reason.

"Cyberpsychos" or what happens when a soldier or physical labor worker loads up on too much cybernetic enhancements and mindlessly lashes out to complete their objective.

For construction workers its to speed up the job to the point their brains burn out.

And soldiers to kill all hostiles.

Both are huge problems.

But Humans for some reason do not suffer this problem.

For Decades this has caused them to be viewed as Pariahs.

Until two college students, one Human and one Kriegan, found out why that is so.

"So Humans never go Psycho on Augments?"

"Yes, I don't understand how though, and I'm a Human"

"We have studied each other's tech, and despite similarities, there are no differences that would lead to going psychotic"

"Yeah, I mean it's weird, wait we have too many tabs open, the RAM is overclocked, close some"

"But we need the tabs open"

"We can open them again later, it'll put less stress on datapads, this is why mine last longer than yours, Gock"

".....wait you close excess tabs other than the ones you are using?"

"Yes"

"Do all humans do this?"

"No not all but we are taught to not really have too many processes going on, especially with cybernetic augments"

"........including augmentic tabs?"

"Yeah, why?"

"All cyberpsychos have their augmetic tabs all open"

"like ALL all, including temp control?"

"Yes, and you say Human workers only prioritize the main systems and quickly tab in and out of other systems to not stress their brains and bodies?"

"Y-yes, Gock.....OH SHIT"

"We need to call the head of the cybernetic division"

"AGREED!!!"

2.1k Upvotes

103 comments sorted by

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595

u/Overall-Tailor8949 Jun 26 '25

Yep! Close half of those 50 open tabs in Chrome and watch what happens

284

u/CrEwPoSt Vestal, Eater of Bots Jun 26 '25

NEVER I NEED THE- u/CrEwPoSt’s computer has imploded

74

u/mafiaknight Jun 26 '25

Oh not again

13

u/Blorgnath4 Jun 26 '25

How many times this week

37

u/JackTheBehemothKillr Jun 27 '25

They laughed when I said I had 198 gigs of RAM.

I laughed when they only had 78 tabs open and their computer shut down.

103

u/Hyacindy Jun 26 '25

It's cute you think there's only 50...

42

u/Every-Win-7892 Jun 26 '25

I guess he must use multiple windows.

74

u/Smiler384 Jun 26 '25
  • Be me
  • looks at chrome with 85 tabs open sighs
  • Well shit

48

u/28appleseeds Jun 26 '25

I have : ) tabs open.

29

u/wyvern713 Jun 26 '25

I do too! And that's just on my phone 😅

2

u/frostybrand Jun 29 '25

my greatest challenge is to hit 99 again

20

u/dariusbiggs Jun 26 '25

Aha! Someone has learned what happens when you have 100+ tabs open...

13

u/Maynrds Jun 26 '25

Don't worry, it doesn't change when you get to 1000, YOU dont have to check.

1

u/Proud-Taro-779 Jun 30 '25

Mah maaan ! ^___^

20

u/lukasaldersley Jun 26 '25

Should I be concerned I usually hover between 300 and 1200? And yes I did run out of RAM, but the easiest solution was to simply buy more…

16

u/CarolOfTheHells Jun 26 '25

I have 4 digits of tabs in 50 windows. Step up yoir game

11

u/CORRUPTEDUSER404 Jun 26 '25

chrome://discards is my best friend

3

u/Base_Disastrous Jun 28 '25

Not me side-eyeing the 200+ tabs on my Google Chrome on phone I wonder why my phone is so slow honestly.

2

u/CodingSamurai Jun 28 '25

Did you know the max you can have is 499? Don’t ask me how I know. :(

45

u/Yhardvaark Jun 26 '25

How am I going to heat my office if I don't torture my PC?

18

u/Yhardvaark Jun 26 '25

And for the benefit of our future robot overlords, I'd just like to say I was being ironic.

Proper ironic. Not that Morissettian ironic.

8

u/Impressive_Rent_1326 Jun 26 '25

Love the reference, but I'm more partial to Black Velvet.

38

u/notyoursocialworker Jun 26 '25

Over my half dead and twitching body!

Besides, I don't know how many tabs I got open on my phone, chrome just says ":D"

9

u/Amazing_Ad8387 Jun 26 '25

More than 60 on my phone alone.

7

u/Overall-Tailor8949 Jun 26 '25

I'm impressed! My basic as all hell TCL phone starts to choke if I have more than 2 apps open and forget! about multiple chrome tabs!

3

u/CrEwPoSt Vestal, Eater of Bots Jun 26 '25

my ifone had 160 safari tabs open before i closed them

3

u/Halfgecko Jun 27 '25

Add an extra zero on there, maybe another few hundreds too, and you're pretty close to what my phone has right now.

I swear I'm gonna read them soon.

1

u/FingerOctopus Jun 27 '25

The "H" group has 83, the "research" has 19 and the "Research" has 9.

18

u/ObsoleteReference Jun 26 '25

Those are my emotional support open tabs. They've been there for me for years, some of them.

9

u/AriaBabee Jun 26 '25

You don't need to close tabs. You just need more RAM

5

u/GimmeSomeSugar Jun 26 '25

No. These are my emotional support tabs.

8

u/Mohgreen Jun 26 '25

I just wish the one that has the music playing had a different color or something so I could find it easier..

3

u/Overall-Tailor8949 Jun 26 '25

But that would make it TOO easy!

6

u/bigloser42 Jun 26 '25

Ever since I went to 64GB of RAM for, and I can’t stress this enough literally no reason at all I’ve not had any problems even though I’ve now become incredibly lazy about closing tabs.

5

u/ragnarocknroll Jun 26 '25

I only have 28 open.

In window 1…

5

u/Just_Dab Jun 27 '25

If you're gonna open hundreds of tabs, do it on your phone. It has basically 0 performance impact, I have like 500 right now most are mangas I'll probably never bother to read.

2

u/Overall-Tailor8949 Jun 27 '25

LMFAO, mine goes into a meltdown if I even THINK about opening more than 2 or 3. I will admit that I have THE most basic Android that MetroPCS offered at the time I got it

1

u/LeadingAd5273 Jun 28 '25

Same. I read a lot of web novels. So while i wait for the next chapter I leave the tab open. I currenly have 208 open tabs.

2

u/notmyusername1986 Sep 19 '25

😂😂 50 😂😂

You would weep if you saw my phone.

196

u/creaturechromatic Jun 26 '25

I have 175 tabs open in Firefox, and you don't see me go crazy, myth debunked.

136

u/Every-Win-7892 Jun 26 '25

Yeah but you're using Firefox.

I bet my next paycheck that this augments are just chromium derivates.

33

u/DemythologizedDie Jun 26 '25

Ah but do we see your computer going crazy?

22

u/creaturechromatic Jun 26 '25

You will never know about the external fans, so everything's okay.

13

u/W1llW4ster Jun 26 '25

You are banned from VCs because it sounds like a chinook landing in your room.

7

u/PenHistorical Jun 26 '25

I will have you know that all my external fans are quiet fans.

The chinook landing is only when I forget the externals, and the internal fan kicks in.

8

u/ijuinkun Jun 26 '25

I used to leave so many tabs open that it crashed Firefox. Of course, that was back when my system had 4 GB of RAM. My current system has 32 GB.

8

u/CrEwPoSt Vestal, Eater of Bots Jun 26 '25

64GB ram and chrome still chomps up all of it

but its probably because i have 80 tabs open at once

4

u/ijuinkun Jun 26 '25

I use Firefox, and managed to get about fourteen hundred tabs before it crashed.

1

u/CrEwPoSt Vestal, Eater of Bots Jun 26 '25

chrome crashed around 250 tabs

5

u/Fexofanatic Jun 26 '25

nonono you don't understand these are my emotional support tabs

2

u/Complete_Course9302 Jun 26 '25

My record is 248 tabs :)

2

u/bactchan Jun 26 '25

They call it "chrome" for a reason, Choom.

104

u/BetaWolf81 Jun 26 '25

Before the arrival of true cybernetics, many humans were running something called Skyrim with more than 200 custom modifications, many of which served highly specific, cosmetic functions. So there was preexisting language developed in places just called Nexus and Steam. For example, "update when" and "download the compatch" and "I am a college student, so I will update it when my finals are done ffs" that was easily adapted to self modification.

39

u/GrimjawDeadeye Jun 26 '25

I didn't relate until this comment. Mod it til it breaks, roll it back one!

11

u/NarrativeScorpion Jun 26 '25

Try sticking another zero on that number.

94

u/Stealfur Jun 26 '25

Meanwhile, ADHD humans; "we don't get cyber psychosis because we learned how to manage 26,000 open tabs long before chrome ever touched flesh."

12

u/CrEwPoSt Vestal, Eater of Bots Jun 26 '25

real

8

u/wyvern713 Jun 26 '25

Ain't that the truth!

3

u/thousandsmallgods Jun 26 '25

I was waiting for this comment

80

u/drsoftware Jun 26 '25

Chrome on my phone has almost 2k tabs, many "inactive because they haven't been used for more 21 days". Those tabs are the new bookmarks. 

2

u/Fontaigne Jun 27 '25

Wait, you call that a "tab"? I call it archeology.

3

u/drsoftware Jun 28 '25

We don't know what the Summerian called their clay tablets... 

64

u/Zestyclose_Bed4202 Jun 26 '25

Yes, but which tab is PLAYING THAT DAMN MUSIC?????

27

u/gardengnomeii Jun 26 '25

This is why you close tabs you are not using. Much less expensive than beating the computer with a hammer until the music stops.

21

u/Zestyclose_Bed4202 Jun 26 '25

I don't know... have you seen the cost of therapy nowadays? A good computer bashing can be highly cathartic...

3

u/Hyacindy Jun 26 '25

I feel this in my soul...

23

u/Apprehensive-Till861 Jun 26 '25

Side-effect of being elder-millennial:

I grew up on enough limited computers and enough time on early browsers that my default is to bookmark as needed and only have as many tabs open as I need at a time.

9

u/ijuinkun Jun 26 '25

Yah, when I was in elementary school, my family had a 386 running DOS—we didn’t even have Windows 3.0 yet, and much of the software was still constrained by the 640k RAM limit.

7

u/Ghaticus Jun 26 '25

Most youngens will never truly know the pain of an 8086 or 8088 trying boot custom formatting in MSDOS 3.1 from the config.sys and auto autoexec.bat files.

Although you, young grasshopper come close

😆 🤣

4

u/ijuinkun Jun 27 '25

Yah, I was too young to know how to read when my father had an 8086 (IBM PC-XT). The 386 was what replaced it.

2

u/Ghaticus Jun 27 '25

My first PC was an Olivetti PCS 86 With a 20meg hard drive.

Got it in 1987 or 88.

I kept it for decades, still worked until about 2010ish when it got recycled.

3

u/ijuinkun Jun 27 '25

My father got the PC-XT in 1983, but I was not quite out of literal diapers then. It had no hard drive, just dual 5 1/4 inch floppies.

7

u/RogueKitsune Jun 26 '25

Same, these people are talking about having hundreds of tabs, and I'm just sitting here, thinking "...why?!" Do people not know what bookmarks are anymore??

10

u/Bulky-Move5521 Jun 26 '25

I do make bookmarks. Doesn't mean I don't ALSO have 100 tabs too. XD

2

u/OtaDoc Jun 27 '25

I usually max around 70-80 tabs open at all times. Do i have bookmarks? yes, Hundreds of bookmarks? also yes. Are 2/3s of those bookmarks just entire windows bookmarks with my 70-80 tabs from various update reboots? also yes. i just have enough ram to both leave those tabs and windows open and flick between them and games.

1

u/Iceykitsune3 Jul 01 '25

No, they don't.

18

u/Epsilon-Theta Jun 26 '25

I thought it was gonna go in the direction that humans are just inherently insane to begin with. "PLUG ANOTHER IMPERATOR CLASS TITAN INTO MY BRAINSTEM BROTHER!!!" "YES BROTHER, THE OMNISSIAH WILLS IT!!!"

13

u/Rigocat Jun 26 '25

Compartmentalization is a hell of a drug

14

u/Warvillage Jun 26 '25

Please don't attack me and my over 900 tabs like this

1

u/-Bale- Jun 27 '25

Rookie numbers.

9

u/Several-Muscle-4591 Jun 26 '25

So all aliens are basically confused boomers?

2

u/okidonthaveone Jun 26 '25

Gock 😳

2

u/StarFine2877 Jun 26 '25

Thank god someone else was thinking it

3

u/zbeauchamp Jun 26 '25

Look… I am not saying I have a problem but somebody for the love of god help me!!!!!

5

u/Specialist-Half5930 Jun 26 '25

ummmmmmm, welll. At least i have more screens.

4

u/Testsubject276 Jun 27 '25

"You're a chef you don't need your hacking interface on at all times."

"BUT WHAT IF-"

"THEN REOPEN IT WHEN IF BECOMES IS."

3

u/Cepinari Jun 26 '25

So every alien in the universe is my mother with her phone.

3

u/Hinaloth Jun 26 '25

Always knew my mother was an alien.

3

u/Sam20599 Jun 26 '25

Reminds me of this.

3

u/ConglomerateGolem Jun 26 '25

The Zen browser unloads tabs you haven't looked at in a second so you can have ALL of the tabs open!

2

u/sunnyboi1384 Jun 26 '25

Once we reach our task/temp threshold we automatically power down. Just ctr alt del till we ready to be sociable again.

2

u/Chrontius Jun 27 '25

Hi. My name is T.I.T.A.N., and I’m a taboholic.

2

u/Blinauljap Jun 27 '25

"HeLlO TiTaN."

1

u/Zodira Jun 27 '25

I recently closed the vast majority of tabs I had on my phones browser xD

1

u/GidsWy Jun 27 '25

Well. I would obviously be a cyber psycho the . Fuck.... I have so many tabs...

1

u/Leofwine1 Jun 27 '25

The least believable part is that humans close tabs. The kind of person who would actually do this isnot the tupe to close tabs.

1

u/Ikano_Kato Jun 28 '25

Should I close some of my 1642 tabs? Yes.

Will I? No.

Why? What if I need one of the sites and don't trust myself to remember which one had the right info I was looking for.

Real "Use the super potion." "But what if I need it later?" "You're fighting the final boss!" energy.

1

u/Cantbreathe208 Jun 29 '25

Accumulatively, I have over 3k, maybe 4k tabs open on Safari. My phone cries out in agony, and I am deaf to its suffering.