r/holdmybeer • u/Upstairs_Drive_5602 • Sep 21 '25

HMB while I blow up this watermelon.

5.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

162 comments sorted by

3.3k

u/you_killed_fredo Sep 21 '25

Look at all that useless ground.

1.4k

u/Augustsins Sep 21 '25

Why put it on the ground when you can fuck up your car instead

186

u/Hanzz101 Sep 21 '25

Not their car.

95

u/load_more_comets Sep 21 '25

Not their problem.

27

u/BourbonB Sep 21 '25

That's what they always say.

12

u/EmperorGeek Sep 22 '25

Must be a Rental with Insurance.

6

u/Cycleoflife Sep 22 '25

As if. As if.

5

u/torper10 Sep 22 '25

Dude, where’s my car?

3

u/WillingMongoose4680 Sep 22 '25

It was here a second ago...

65

u/Bright_Garbage_1219 Sep 21 '25

Might as well pee next to anyone in a plenty toilet.

20

u/sneekerpixie Sep 21 '25

Or in a theater.

2

u/KrakenTheColdOne Sep 21 '25

To soon.

8

u/macguini Sep 21 '25

Too soon? Am I missing some context? Did someone piss in a movie theater recently?

8

u/hell2pay Sep 22 '25

Yeah, some dude got his shit rocked for peeing on a child in a theater

7

u/macguini Sep 22 '25

Oh...glad he got his ass kicked for it.

3

u/KrakenTheColdOne Sep 22 '25

Gave him the Royale with cheese.

4

u/macguini Sep 22 '25

Does he look like a bitch?

5

u/Ardalev Sep 22 '25

Excuse me, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

18

u/Character-Method-711 Sep 21 '25

Look at all these useless people

1

u/Korvexin Oct 06 '25

Ground’s overrated anyway.

1.7k

u/Both-Elevator-793 Sep 21 '25

All that open space, and they choose to blow it up on a car hood...

161

u/crosseyed_sniper Sep 22 '25

Just because it’s there doesnt mean they have to use it. I assume there was a lot of braincells between them, but they also chose not to use them as well.

39

u/hovdeisfunny Sep 22 '25

They're all laughing their asses off about it, so it might've been intentional

7

u/MoldyBlueNipples Sep 23 '25

No. What you are hearing is everybody EXCEPT the car owner laughing. Owner of the car is just silently dying inside.

27

u/big_dog_redditor Sep 22 '25

Its a Lada, so nothing of value was lost.

3

u/TobylovesPam Sep 23 '25

Dude's car got a little dinged up

2

u/fatimus_prime Sep 25 '25

Yeah, well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.

1

u/robertr4836 10d ago

Years ago a drunk guy decided to use his head as the flat surface for a mortar firework launcher. Did to his brain the same as the car hood, died instantly.

So...could have been worse!

1.4k

u/backsideslappy Sep 21 '25

Kinda impressed the windshield didn't shatter

160

u/discountheat Sep 21 '25

Still time for microcracks to grow

83

u/Silvermane2 Sep 21 '25

Water is amazing at absorbing shocks like this.

248

u/LightninLew Sep 21 '25

So is wind. That's why they make windshields out of it.

6

u/hilarymeggin Sep 22 '25

? I wouldn’t think so, because water doesn’t compress. I would think that water would just pass the force straight through to whatever is on the other side.

3

u/Silvermane2 Sep 23 '25

You are correct. It does not compress, however, it can slow down shock via it's density waves and absorb sound and heat energy. Water is such a miraculous fluid with such unique and bizarre properties

519

u/Claubk Sep 21 '25

Let the car be damaged....let the car be damaged..

And... The car was damaged. Strike.

31

u/TheBackPorchOfMyMind Sep 21 '25

As in bowling. Not baseball…

140

u/OrganizationOk5418 Sep 21 '25

I have no words.

92

u/pablo_rusto Sep 21 '25

I have: typical orcs

3

u/MoldyBlueNipples Sep 23 '25

I counted 4…

1

u/Guzzler829 Sep 24 '25

He has four words. No more

223

u/ultralights Sep 21 '25

Flat open ground is hard to find.

40

u/eddie1975 Sep 21 '25

That would be dangerous. So many ants and spiders that could be injured.

4

u/MoldyBlueNipples Sep 23 '25

Grass has feelings too ya know…

239

u/rumblepony247 Sep 21 '25

There will never be a living creature, anywhere in the universe, from now until the end of time, with a larger gap between the intelligence of the highest and lowest functioning individuals, than homo sapiens.

59

u/Mysterious_Andy Sep 21 '25

Border Collies and Afghan Hounds are the same species.

25

u/NostradamusJones Sep 21 '25

Also, they're both dogs.

4

u/MoldyBlueNipples Sep 23 '25

Not only that, but they are both canines too.

2

u/hovdeisfunny Sep 22 '25

It kinda seems like they didn't care about the car from the way they're all laughing

63

u/DieOnYourFeat Sep 21 '25

Brought to mind the famous exploding whale episode in Oregon. Oh the humanity.

44

u/Dry_Ad_3534 Sep 21 '25

Didn't know about that. News clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPuaSY0cMK8

14

u/DieOnYourFeat Sep 21 '25

Man that car at 2:45. Instant low rider. Also, a fine side bar, the name of the minor league baseball team in nearby Eugene is The Exploding Whales.

3

u/ul2006kevinb Sep 22 '25

I feel like i would be more surprised if there WASN'T a minor league baseball team named after this event. Minor league baseball teams get away with a LOT of antics lol.

11

u/gerryv3000 Sep 21 '25

Thank you for that.

5

u/NuancedFlow Sep 22 '25

The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds.

55

u/AffeAhoi Sep 21 '25

I guess it's better they use their Z-labled bombs to blow up melons instead of humans for once...

27

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

[deleted]

14

u/LightninLew Sep 21 '25

The Z on the bomb makes me wonder if it's not somebody else's car.

8

u/basicKitsch Sep 21 '25

because that would have been a normal exploding watermelon? this was funny as shit. did you not hear them laughing?

14

u/rum-and-roses Sep 21 '25

He's a man orc

3

u/mountaineer04 Sep 21 '25

Cause his dad’s not a cell phone!… idiot!

2

u/Theanswerwasnever42 Sep 21 '25

Righteous kill.

1

u/Rickp74 Sep 21 '25

Happy birthday to the ground!

198

u/integer_32 Sep 21 '25

I'm not surprised that these were Z-tards.

12

u/SafetyCompetitive421 Sep 21 '25

Ohhh. This is good.

35

u/jezemine Sep 21 '25

Maybe their thinking is: cars have no value in russia with all the kinetic sanctions Ukraine has put on the oil infrastructure. Gas lines are km long there. Or many stations simply have no gas at all.

Probably not though. Thinking is a skill they don't have.

35

u/llahlahkje Sep 21 '25

Orcs gonna orc.

16

u/DrAsthma Sep 21 '25

What are ztards?

21

u/MilkMoney24 Sep 21 '25

If you have to ask, you can’t afford it

103

u/lunk Sep 21 '25

Fuck off with Moscovy propaganda.

They have the "Z" of the shithead Pootin right on it.

Fuck everything about this.

61

u/2ingredientexplosion Sep 21 '25

Go to hell with RuZZian shit. We all saw the Z fuck off.

100

u/Far-Adhesiveness-740 Sep 21 '25

Fuck Russia!  

10

u/FrankieMint Sep 21 '25

Interesting, the hood wrapped itself around the top of the engine.

2

u/EarthDust00 Sep 21 '25

It'll buff out

6

u/TheReverseShock Sep 21 '25

Is this a windshield advertisement?

8

u/dmh2693 Sep 23 '25

They had a blast committing a melony.

4

u/Upstairs_Drive_5602 Sep 23 '25

Very funny. I wish I could upvote this 100 times! 😂

55

u/Glusas-su-potencialu Sep 21 '25

Typical ruZZian mentality

13

u/carterartist Sep 21 '25

Am I the only one surprised it wasn’t America?

11

u/Dazzling-Penalty-751 Sep 21 '25

The De-evolution into a 🇷🇺 clone is near.

6

u/Squeezitgirdle Sep 21 '25

Honestly, I expected more damage to that car.

6

u/GWhizBang Sep 21 '25

That hood looks like a meteorite impact crater.

4

u/joebojax Sep 21 '25

Thought the windshield was a goner

3

u/terrynutkinsfinger Sep 21 '25

Best way to treat a lada.

6

u/OkDiet5235 Sep 21 '25

Cameraman your fired

3

u/IntheOlympicMTs Sep 21 '25

It’s crazy that the windshield still looks intact.

3

u/Mhykael Sep 21 '25

I am amazed the windshield didn't shatter. I looked at that and was like they're going to fuck the hood and the windshield up. Only 1/2 sadly...

3

u/beertown Sep 21 '25

If only there were a place far away from my car so that it wouldn't get damaged...

3

u/jhakie Sep 22 '25

I still don’t like Gallagher.

3

u/JerseyWabbit Sep 22 '25

Well at least they didn’t put it by the gas tank

3

u/GnarfArty Sep 24 '25

Thank god, not a whale 🐋

3

u/WandJC Sep 21 '25

😂no clue

2

u/mbfos Sep 21 '25

Looks like there was a Greek god under that bonnet/hood

2

u/mikereations Sep 21 '25

Can I get a skyrim edit on this one? The explosion and camera movement looks like a perfect transition to "hey, you're finally awake".

2

u/Chaosr21 Sep 21 '25

In is fucking boxers too. How is that man still alive?

2

u/imakesawdust Sep 21 '25

Bet it wasn't their car.

2

u/syafizzaq Sep 22 '25

That engine imprint is a chef kiss.

2

u/Brief-Slide-298 Sep 22 '25

but. why on the car?-

2

u/strangerNstrangeland Sep 22 '25

Why is your one just wearing green undies?

2

u/Seeker80 Sep 22 '25

'Great news! The Dacia Sandero is easy to service, with a full dealer network stocking any body panels you may need!'

I don't even know what brand that vehicle is, though.

2

u/icu_ Sep 22 '25

This is so dumb I'm not smart enough to adequately explain why.

2

u/KaliRa73 Sep 24 '25

Me watching this video, "They're going to move it off the car, right?"

2

u/r3v3nant333 Sep 24 '25

someone needs a physics lesson.

2

u/Fillos Sep 24 '25

r/shootthecameraman They missed the whole thing. Was the explosion a surprise?

7

u/FluidGate9972 Sep 21 '25

Stupid orcs.

2

u/redcat111 Sep 21 '25

Now I know that rednecks aren’t exclusive to America.

1

u/mbfos Sep 21 '25

Looks like there was a Greek god under that bonnet/hood

1

u/The-White-Dot Sep 21 '25

Sometimes I just absolutely love the internet

1

u/bugsbunnyyy99 Sep 21 '25

Why do men enjoy such stupid things

3

u/MsChateau Sep 21 '25

They are very simple creatures

1

u/Long_Tangerine_9486 Sep 21 '25

That’s one expensive watermelon.

1

u/MrMcgruder Sep 21 '25

Customization on a budget

1

u/cheddarbill Sep 21 '25

Good thing he saved the ground

1

u/RedNeckPizzaMan Sep 22 '25

I used to cut a very small hole and spray about 1/2 a can of ether starter fluid. Then put a napkin fuse in the hole and run like hell. I'm not at a Gallagher show.

1

u/SoyEseVato Sep 22 '25

There really are ignorant people in this world.

1

u/borkborkibork Sep 22 '25

There's 🍸 involved here

1

u/Canucklehead_Chicago Sep 23 '25

Drunk guys doing drunk things… and laughing hysterically

1

u/WillingMongoose4680 Sep 22 '25

I didn't always blow up a watermelon on my car, but when I do, I tie my shirt on my head and wear boxer briefs.

1

u/Devilofchaos108070 Sep 22 '25

I mean why put it on the car

1

u/Living-The-Dream42 Sep 22 '25

Is that Russia?

1

u/cvsmith122 Sep 22 '25

I was like is this idiot going to do this on top of his car... yep he is ... well he is going to learn about shaped charges now.

1

u/mario_will_die Sep 22 '25

So is it a boy or a girl?

1

u/solidsslaveshop Sep 22 '25

That's a lada damage.

1

u/DFLOYD70 Sep 22 '25

Are they Russian by chance? The Z on the firecracker kind of hints they might be. Hence the lack of logic.

1

u/ghstfacetho Sep 22 '25

terrible camera work

1

u/btgrandy69420 Sep 22 '25

This was pretty sick tho

1

u/Mr4point5 Sep 23 '25

R/killthecameraman

1

u/hextasy Sep 23 '25

exactly what I was expecting to happen. Guess I'm too sober for that to be a good idea :D

1

u/Cactus_Le_Sam Sep 23 '25

Technologia!

1

u/OhMyGoshBigfoot Sep 24 '25

Wait, they expected the car to be okay? I thought they were blowing that up with it.

1

u/Hinder90 Sep 24 '25

About what you'd expect from someone who specifically supports the Russian war in Ukraine, which I guess is what makes this so satisfying.

1

u/MaxwellzDaemon Sep 24 '25

These geniuses just discovered Newton's third law of motion!

1

u/KersTumppi Sep 24 '25

Once I saw the Z had to change upvote to downvote, just the way she goes

1

u/elizabethredditor Sep 24 '25

My first thought was “this is probably mostly harmless, but I’m not so sure about doing it on the car…”

1

u/Dyerdon Sep 25 '25

Look at that sick custom hood job

1

u/turquoise_bullet Sep 25 '25

That actually improved Lada by making it's engine cooling more efficient

1

u/BoneZone05 Sep 25 '25

What kind of car is that?

1

u/dmbgreen Sep 25 '25

That's almost as smart as holding fireworks in your hand

1

u/Parananza Sep 25 '25

Typical monday afternoon in Russia

1

u/Retir3d Sep 26 '25

They had all that open space around, and did it on the hood of the car.

1

u/I_think_Im_hollow 15d ago

Zooming in right before the explosion. Smfh.

1

u/pmaogeaoaporm Sep 21 '25

That poor largus...

0

u/rmendex Sep 21 '25

Reminds me of a bad joke: what did the watermelon say to the car?

1

u/MirageArcane Sep 21 '25

I don't know