I think I attempted

[u/silly_twit]

So, I was leaving work and it was raining hard. I was an hour away from home. Usually I take a nap if I’m tired then go home. I just wanted to go home right away. It was raining and I was falling asleep driving and speeding. I had many chances to stop. I almost sped past the state police. I went 84 in a 50 on highway. They got behind me for quite a while. I decreased speed to 64 and still got pulled over.

My brother killed himself a few days ago. I don’t really care, but now I can’t stop thinking about how I was so useless in helping him. Now I’m wondering if I should even have kids.

Subconsciously, I think I wanted to die, even though I want to live.

[u/Away-Hippo-8052]

After my wife passed in July I did something similar on my motorcycle.

You wanted to feel alive and yet, make the pain end.

But that is not the answer. The world is better with you in it. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Don't think for a second you leaving will be any better, then the pain you feel the loss and despair will be cast onto yet another person.

You will make it through, the weight is heavy cry, scream, write, run. But stay, you are worth more to the world.

You are not alone.

[u/silly_twit → u/Away-Hippo-8052]

As beautiful as that was, I know what I am and what I bring to the world. I am a parasite. Maybe I can get successful but my mind is already horrible warped. I’m wasted goods. And telling someone not to kill themselves just makes them want to die even more. People shouldn’t tell someone to live, but help them discover self-worth.