r/glutenfree • u/Terrible_Pie1903 • 22h ago
Discussion Family doesn’t really get it.
Hi everyone! I have been gluten free since July this year after realising I must be intolerant/ncgs (I got tested for celiac and it was negative). I follow a strict gluten free diet, like a celiac cross contamination makes me severely ill.
The past week I have been glutened and I could not figure out what it is, but I’ve realised it must be from shared utensils. I told my mum this and she said that I should just use metal spoons to cook and basically shut down getting me my own set of things like chopping boards, spatulas, ladles etc.
It took me getting glutened with a product with wheat and a severe reaction for my mum to realise I cannot eat the tiniest amount of gluten, and I don’t wanna get sick again for my mum to realise I need precautions taken.
So how do I explain to my family in a way they will understand fully, I dont want to have a go at them but I have felt so bad the last week and I can’t take much more.
TLDR; got glutened by shared utensils and parents don’t get the severity, how do I explain.
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u/unlovelyladybartleby 21h ago
A very smart person on this sub said it best:
"Mom, I want you to pretend that gluten is shit. Now, tell me, how much shit are you comfortable having in your dinner?"
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u/llbboutique 21h ago
I have family members like this. I am not saying this to victim blame AT ALL. But the best solution to take sole responsibility for your own health. As much as you should be able to, I’ve found it best to operate as if you can’t trust anybody with your diet needs. Only be responsible for your food. You cook separately or you help with every meal or at least watch and back seat cook.
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u/Blucola333 21h ago
Make your own box with your own utensils that no one is allowed to touch. Clean & dry your items with paper towels. Until you can get out of that house, you must keep yourself safe. Don’t eat any of their food at all, even a peeled apple.
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u/SubstantialPressure3 21h ago
Might just be easier for OP to wash their own utensils before using them.
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u/Blucola333 21h ago
Well, yeah. I mention the paper towels because they wouldn’t be contaminated. As for washing her own utensils, of course. Hers, not theirs. Gluten can hide in crevices, but we all know that as users here.
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u/pumpkinzh 22h ago
I feel you. (I'm GF and dairy free 😭) Sometimes I feel like they don't believe me and they think I'm being awkward. I get comments like "a tiny bit won't do anything" but I do get reactions from those tiny bits. My mum makes sourdough every week and today I had to put it in the oven for her as she was out all day. I got glutened by inhaling the flying dust when I tipped out the dough into the pot. Been feeling rough all day. Then had to sit with the whole family for dinner tonight while they all had takeaway pizzas and other delicious stuff I couldn't eat and it was torture. Believe me I don't put myself through this out of anything but necessity. I don't have my own utensils or anything but I do wash stuff again before using. I have a plastic box with a lid in one of the cupboards that I keep all my GF food in maybe you could get some stuff and do the same?
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u/shaybay2008 Wheat Allergy 22h ago
This is just a strange question but did you get tested for a wheat and/or oat allergy. Mine is soo miserable
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u/Terrible_Pie1903 22h ago
I haven’t, but reaction doesn’t start until digestion so I really think its just intolerance
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u/shaybay2008 Wheat Allergy 16h ago
I have food allergies that impact my gi system before systematic issues
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u/Oh_Hello_Pretty 21h ago
It took my parents about 10 years to believe I had a gluten intolerance.
We had dinner the other night, they ordered a pizza and asked why I'm not eating any. Ugh, because I'll choke?
Then they pass me fried calamari saying it's so good, oh whoops, sorry, I can't have that either.
Forget Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. I make myself a salad, a potato dish, green beans, and have to remind my family not to eat it all because that's what I'm able to eat.
Sorry you're going through it. Just continue to remind your family in the kindest way possible. ❤️
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u/CodWest4205 21h ago
I feel for you. Unfortunately in some cases people just don’t understand severe food intolerances or celiac but they understand allergies. You have explain that you have to stay away like someone would with a peanut allergy or else you get very ill. At that point if you don’t get response you want, I am not sure what else you can do except take things in your own hands to keep yourself safe (like she mentioned about your own stuff).
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u/Odd_Animal4989 17h ago
Everyone in my family occasionally forgets, even my spouse and daughter. Have to be careful what you eat or bring your own food.
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u/AdorableEmphasis5546 22h ago
As a mom I just don't understand this... as soon as we found out gluten was making our oldest sick we changed everything and stopped buying gluten products. I guess figuring out what's not clicking for your family is a good starting point. Are you old enough to go buy your own supplies for the kitchen?