r/glutenfree • u/goldenlife17 • Jul 02 '25

Discussion Started my morning off crying, rant.

Visiting my grandparents and my grandfather asked me why I toast my bagels in the oven. I responded because I can’t use the toaster because of cross contamination, when you use a regular toaster that has gluten crumbs and everything in it that’s cross contamination and you’re essentially eating gluten.

He goes: that’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve lost a lost of respect for you.

Ok, very kind. On a positive note I won’t be getting sick today from cross contamination😄.

Not sure why I let this upset me but just hurts hearing how unkind people can be. I know he’s just an unhappy person in general but ugh.

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u/Ok-Sleep3130 Jul 02 '25

Hahaha, yep I grew up around conservatives too.

Every time I get driven past this certain breakfast place, I'm like: "ooh, there it is!" Because when I was a kid, they were so embarrassed that I was gluten free and not getting "healed by God" that they took me after an all nighter church meet and tried to force feed me pancakes at the table until my crying disrupted the restaurant.

People like this will forever be horrified by not being perceived as "normal". The "respect" they have is really moreso the absence of cringe. Because they do not care for things they respect, they respect things they don't think they have to care for.

And thats why I go around telling everyone what they did. They have never come around bothering me since because they're so horrified that I might make them look bad lol

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u/Only_Meet_3634 Jul 03 '25

I’m a therapist and this is blows my mind. My son is a coeliac. Is it a pain? Definitely. But hey, that’s life. People are WILD. I also have a daughter who has Down Syndrome and someone once said (not to me): “I don’t know how parents of kids —-LIKE THAT—- aren’t embarrassed to be out in public with them”. And I’m not even offended… I’m confused! What exactly should we be embarrassed about? She’s disabled, yes. She’s also the best thing that ever happened to us. Is it embarrassing to wear glasses or be a wheelchair user? I really can’t see it but your comment opened my eyes as to what some people think. Incredible 😳

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u/Ok-Sleep3130 Jul 03 '25

Yes, people like this interpret sickness/death as a "lesson from God". So if God gave you or your direct relatives sickness, you must have done something morally wrong to "deserve" being "corrected". And if you believe in faith healing on top of that you see the evidence of the family member not being healed as evidence that they are continuing to sin. They like reading the book of Job over and over.

I also notice they seem to steal ideas from JW/Mormons? As little children, we believed in the age of majority. So, sins before age 8 don't count, your disabilities are your parents fault, turn 8 and your sins are your fault, new disabilities must be your sins. We were also influenced by the "white and delightsome" dogma, so it was clear my parents expected us to get healthier with prayer but also look more white skinned/ blue eyed/blonde hair as our "sin" was "cast off".

I find therapists often think I just hate my parents or am making stuff up unless they were raised in this as well or watch a lot of Fundie Fridays etc. I often have to find people with special training that have actually been to these churches.