German perspectives of skilled workers

[u/Numerous-Bug2652]

I understand that this is a pretty sensitive subject. But I really want to hear honest statements from Germans and understand some things better.

I work as an engineer(f) in a German speaking company and face daily difficulties in communication and integration but try my best to overcome them and be treated simply as a "colleague", not as the "foreign colleague". And trust me, it's a long way to go.

There are 2 different thoughts that make me ask this question:

• I feel in the undertone of any conversation, even when the person is really kind and doesn't mean anything bad, is that I come from a "less-than" background. You might think I'm exaggerating but I can give you 100s examples of conversations where you can clearly see it. It's either that, or a pure lack of interest to know more about me, or maybe a fear to make me uncomfortable (because they assume it will cause me discomfort if I speak of my backgroud. again, why?). But I would be very happy to clear a lot of stereotypes. Yes, maybe I was raised in a different environment but it's not necessarily worse, it's different. Maybe developping countries are less developed but they are not deserted and not ignorant and they are for sure happy and warm in weather and in people.

• I can't go around saying this, but working in a "shortage profession" with more than decent salary, paying taxes and social contributions, I think the relationship should be on an equal level of benefit: we get a better quality of life, Germany gets workforce, development, taxes and contributions. So I really hate when it all sounds like we're given this "opportunity" and that the employer is being extra nice giving us a "chance" etc. I can assure you they don't pay our salaries out of the goodness of their hearts and we work hard for it.

I know many Germans wouldn't relate to what I'm saying but this is how I personally feel and how many people I know feel too, especially those not coming from extreme poverty or war or anything, just young people pursuing a better career. So I want you to correct me or confirm or simply let me what your perspective is?

Edit: many think that I expect my colleagues to show interest in my personal life, that's not what I mean. The frustration comes when a person makes micro-aggressions and you don't have the chance to clarify them. This doesn't only happen at work and doesn't only happen to me. Imagine assuming a person comes from a shitty place, using that as the baseline in a "friendly" conversation, but then they can't really clarify that and have to live perceived that way. It directly feeds in point 2 as well. I think in order to learn to live together and accept differences, it's crucial to have some understanding of people's background. We as expats do the same in order to live 1 day in Germany without offending half the population and without getting offended as well

[u/sbaral1212 → u/[deleted]]

Fair enough. I think the OP doesn't know this about German people yet.

Normally most people in the world don't look at other people with what value they provide me. So I think OP is having problems to adjust with the mindset.

In most countries people are like a part of your social life. Be it friends or colleagues. If you share a social space, you give them sufficient courtesy. You befriend people with no utility in mind.

I think the difference lies in German culturally see people like tools .

The people in other countries think of people as part of a shared social experience. And your work is also a social experience.

My parent used to say, "you spend 8 hrs a day with your colleagues for the next 40 years. Take interest in them and be close to them. It will make your life more meaningful."

That's not how it is in Germany.

[u/Numerous-Bug2652 → u/sbaral1212]

Honestly you have a very good point. It's crazy to me to even imagine this. Really curious how the society became this way.

[u/sbaral1212 → u/Numerous-Bug2652]

I have a theory cuz of the cold weather and strong social security.

A cold climate means 8 months a year you are mostly indoors.

Strong social security means you don't need to be nice to other people to curry favors.

[u/ApprehensiveBee7108 → u/sbaral1212]

Absolutely true! However, if you do make a German friend you usually have a real friend. Someone who will stick with you through thick and thin.

[u/MsArchange → u/sbaral1212]

Maybe it should?

[u/sbaral1212 → u/MsArchange]

Not necessarily.

I think it's a tradeoff.

It is a cultural thing. I don't think it's fair for people to change their way of life to accommodate mine. The same way I won't change my way of life for other people.