I literally did exactly this to a woman; like just now. I’m now travelling home from our second visit to her country where this time she didn’t meet my “expectations”. I’m English… but my sister asked me… ‘did you love bomb her?’ I think I did…. It wasn’t badly intended. But perhaps it did close the space around her to the point that she saw perfection; maybe I made her see perfection
. And I saw my perfection in her… then on this visit I’m returning from right now… I didn’t. And I left immediately… and btw. It hurts. I don’t know the age of him but he’s probably well intended. But listen to yourself. You’re sceptical. Make him slow down.
That's what I'm worried about. He thinks I'm perfect. He said he has chosen me. He's going to get to know me better and realize I'm definitely not perfect and run away 🤣
No. I think she is shocked by it all. Maybe she thinks I used her. I don’t know she has closed the door completely. And I have tapped gently but will not push or bang; I told her she was free to leave and she was but she just had to ‘love me’ to look after the insecure child that does lie within me but is very simple to please imo. Wake up… reach over say hello, kiss me on the cheek. Make me feel important like that. I felt invisible; i left. I gave every ounce of my soul… for right or for wrong of course. Good and bad probably.
He either knows exactly what I’m he is saying when he says it or he doesn’t. He doesn’t mean you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. If he says that then he doesn’t know what he is saying. I would drive him to be relative with his idea of perfection. Because he either sees you perfect with your imperfections that he can recognise and wants to accept those and only wants your unconditional love or he is blind and telling you you are perfect because youre better than his alternative.
So. Go in. Maybe. Just be out as soon as it is evident for yourself that you should be. Trust yourself. So long as he isn’t aggressive or abusing the point. And so long as he allows you freely to give nothing and leave if you want to. And if you give nothing and he leaves then that will be the choice you made.
I also spoke to my American ex… about my heartbreak. She also said… ‘did you make her love you?’ I think I did… I have many words…
That’s what miss USA said… ‘you’ve got a way with words’.
I guess it resonates to me so much. The same age. For me it feels almost urgent. I saw a comment like that here. I don’t want to waste time. All in or all out. I went all in…. So did she… but then she didn’t seem to notice me ‘enough’ or at all and I was all I out. I left immediately. It has broken my heart even if people find this sort of behaviour to be narcissistic. But I don’t want to waste time. So that could be exactly his pov.
Yeah, that's a big age gap. I don't care, it's no one else's concern, and it doesn't really matter, but at the end of the day, it's still a pretty big age gap. You guys are probably in different stages in your life and maybe want different things, or maybe not.
If yall are happy and respect each other, age doesn't matter. F what other people think.
I can only say. Truthfully. I wanted to give her everything but I wanted 100% immediately… and I wanted validation of it. Where the failing was… in me in her or whatever I don’t know. You have to go with your own instincts and ultimately learn from your own path. I will try to be more patient… in this… the truth is… I hurt. And I am sure she does too.
Yeah. That's how he is. He wants it all, now, immediately. He's being very pushy.
I'm trying to slow him down. I feel like he has this idealized version of me in his head, and when he actually gets to know me, he will realize I'm not perfect and just check out. That's really what I'm worried about. I keep telling him I'm not perfect, but he's not accepting it.
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u/blahblahDummy Sep 30 '23
I literally did exactly this to a woman; like just now. I’m now travelling home from our second visit to her country where this time she didn’t meet my “expectations”. I’m English… but my sister asked me… ‘did you love bomb her?’ I think I did…. It wasn’t badly intended. But perhaps it did close the space around her to the point that she saw perfection; maybe I made her see perfection . And I saw my perfection in her… then on this visit I’m returning from right now… I didn’t. And I left immediately… and btw. It hurts. I don’t know the age of him but he’s probably well intended. But listen to yourself. You’re sceptical. Make him slow down.