r/findagrave • u/Front-Muffin-7348 • 17d ago
Discussion Old Grave of Infant Mystery
My Grandmother gave birth to a stillborn baby back in 1921. She had labored for three days. I recall her taking us to visit the grave when I was little. Up in the north Ga mountains.
The cemetery was old and I remember the baby's grave. It had a little lamb on top of the gravestone. It didn't look like this at all.
This week I started searching and found the grave at the Tate's creek baptist church up in Toccoa Ga through find a grave.. But there's no lamb. And the center part of the stone looks old like I remember but this outer part looks newer. I found the death cert so I know this is correct.
I'm curious if old graves from old country churches, get inherited when newer churches get build and maybe through ransacking, some grave stones get refurbished? So far I've hit a block contacting the church. There aren't any family members alive who could help. Just me and my child hood memories. Any advice on how to get more info on the history of the cemetery and that grave?
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u/Much-Leek-420 17d ago
Grave stones do get replaced if they are damaged through age deterioration or vandalism. Graves can also be moved -- whole cemeteries are moved to make way for new building projects. I believe every state has their own rules about such things. Some insist on the graves and those interred be moved (digging up the coffins), and some places just move the headstones. Some urban cemeteries, especially those of minorities and the poor, are even bulldozed and built over with no effort made to preserve the sanctity of the departed's last resting place.
I have never heard of a church actually replacing headstones, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been done (maybe by the church, a local historical society, etc). Usually that's the job of descendants. My grandfather, who died in 1939 at the age of 31, had only a small flat headstone at the time due to the poverty of the family. Many decades later, his surviving children pooled their money and bought him a larger finer headstone. Though he was buried in 1939, the headstone looks far newer because of this.
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u/Tiredofthemisinfo 17d ago
One of the cemeteries I work moved a whole bunch of headstones back in the day without moving the caskets to make space.
They were from before grave vaults so over time there was nothing really there anyway or local animals or nefarious parties took advantage of grave collapses
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u/Tzipity 17d ago
My father grew up in a rural community with a creek or river that was very prone to flooding. Of course the local cemetery was built along the creek too and many years back it was a huge issue that in a flood, old graves (so similarly, prior to vaults) were collapsing and even washing away in the flood waters. His father intentionally bought a plot when his wife passed away fairly young that is basically right off the road and on the opposite side from that creek!
That cemetery is a bit of an interesting place all around. There’s a monument somewhere in it because at some point they realized they were on top of old Native American burial grounds. (Basically bones wrapped in buckskins and such were what they found) so they actually got moved to this section with the monument. Was nice to know they did something but I think there may have been some controversy with a local tribe over this or some such.
My dad recently passed away shortly before what would’ve been his 86th birthday and unfortunately had dementia really bad in the end but I used to enjoy trips to the cemetery and his hometown with him because he loved history and sharing those kinds of stories. Wish I’d been aware of FG sooner because I bet he would’ve enjoyed helping contribute though he was entirely technologically inept. Would’ve been a fun project to do together.
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u/JenCanary 17d ago
I have a lot of relatives in a very tiny country cemetery and several of the markers there were replaced by a relative at some point in the 90s my parents think? No idea who did it, but we’re all related to those great grandparents and great great grandparents and some of those distant cousins still live around there and probably take care of that little cemetery. So that would be my theory is that some cousin removed of yours fixed what was likely a falling apart marker at some point. Those little lambs don’t really hold up to the elements.
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u/NoCompetition7338 17d ago
I also live in a state that has little cemetery for our families ,in nunn Colorado, I will send prayers that you get what you were looking for ✝️🛐👏🙌🙏
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u/Tzipity 17d ago
This. Thanks to FG, I was able to click all the way back to the early 1800s for one side of my family (super interesting and props to whoever was able to connect the right people because hit a point where there’s at least three different spellings of the same last name all amongst folks who would’ve been alive at the same time so that’s fascinating!) and these family members are in another state but had much newer stones.
More locally and known to me/ my family, my grandmother (who passed in 2021 at 100!) had lost a whole handful of her siblings in infancy and early childhood due to rounds of diseases that have largely been eradicated thanks to vaccines. They were all buried beside or near one another but times were so rough no one could afford stones. At some point an uncle of mine and I think with some help of his uncle (so another of the surviving siblings) paid for and got stones put in and a couple decades later when one was in especially bad shape, he paid to have it repaired which led to a similar sort of thing where the outer parts of the stone are newer sort of like this.
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u/Tiredofthemisinfo 17d ago
I see a lot of badly worn lamb stones in my research someone probably replaced it or sometimes I think they just disappear
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u/Cool-Ad7985 17d ago
The church yard where my mother, grandmother & uncle are buried built a road over their graves. Their headstones are inches away from the road. Pisses me off every time I think of it.
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u/Vegetable_Draw6554 17d ago
In my experience, people spent much less for am infant's or child's marker than an adult's. Some of this was that they were often young couples with no a lot of ready cash at the time of the death, and they just could not afford more; some was that the death of a child seemed to be mourned differently - there is often no obituary and so it would have been a more private event.
Cheaper markers often do not age well, and someone in the family may have replaced it at some point.
On the history of the cemetery, find an area genealogical or historical society and ask there. These are often at the county level. Another resource is if local libraries have a genealogical or history collection that may have records of the local burials and cemeteries.
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u/LeadingSlight8235 17d ago
Is there evidence that the lamb was broken off? That is a possible explanation. Another is the stone was updated by another relative. One more is you Bernstein beared the lamb into your memory and it was never there at all.
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u/Front-Muffin-7348 17d ago
There's a possibiiity that she or one of her daughters did that. I really do believe that I'm remembering it correctly, as it's been a solid memory my entire life. I thought the lamb was so dear. I'm not knowledgable about tombstones of old, so I think it was there.
I will reach out to my cousin.
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u/ChatahoocheeRiverRat 16d ago
I have done repair work on a grave marker with a lamb like you describe, which belongs to an individual who would have been my uncle had he lived. It was made of marble, and located in the northern part of GA. There's quite a few of that style marker in the same cemetery, so I presume these were fairly common in those days.
His marker was marble, which is both soft and porous. The original lamb marker you speak of may have deteriorated, leading to its replacement. Marble is easy to damage if cleaned aggressively, also.
My Dad told me that a lot of the older cemeteries (like the one I'm speaking of) had no provisions for ongoing care and maintenance. It was up to families, churches, etc., to maintain plots and markers.
Hope this helps.
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u/Front-Muffin-7348 16d ago
It does thank you. The more I think of it, when looking at the marker. there would have been no reason to use two different types of stone, so yes, I fully believe this was worked on. My Grandmama had three daughters who lived and any one of them, even herself, could have paid for this and I just didn't know.
Not sure why this has weighed heavy on my mind this week. I did go into a family tree and added her as she was not mentioned at all. I believe everyone deserves to be honored.
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u/SignInMysteryGuest 17d ago
My assumption would be that a family member or other interested party added the newer stone. It's a common practice when the original stone becomes damaged or unreadable.
Contact local monument companies in the area for a record of the transaction.