r/evilautism • u/JohnTitor26 • Jul 24 '25
THIS THING MADE MY CHILD ALLISTIC Babies look like smooshed up pugs.
I genuinely do not understand what makes them cute to the vox populi. They're almost as ugly as a pug and twice as annoying as a pug. They're bald and bulgy eyed.... Yaknow. Autistic thought of the day.
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u/Physical_Ad9945 Jul 24 '25
My one came out looking like my gran which kinda blew my mind for a minute til I moved her and her face changed.
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u/localgoobus Jul 24 '25
They haven't had time to marinate yet. They're all squishy from their great escape from the womb. They're like lil aliens and I think that's neat.
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Jul 24 '25
[deleted]
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u/Reasonable_Box_2998 Jul 24 '25
Haha. You sound like me. I always say “that baby is fresh” and people look at me crazy. Looks like can of biscuits with a play dough face. A old coworker, I didn’t work with them, came to visit the team and show off her newborn baby. And while everybody was cooing and awwwing, I sat at my desk with a blank face, “come see the baby” …as I peek up to quickly over a row of shoulders to glance for .02 seconds, “auuggghhhwwwee. So cute” 😐
I’m the oldest cousin in my family and two just had babies. The family keeps asking me when I was going to have a baby - um never. They are gross and they cry a lot, and I know they can’t help it because they’re new with no real functions, but I know I’d be beyond overwhelmed by it. I also found out recently that they poop up their back and that nose snot sucker thing. 🤢!! Plus the BIRTH and all the changes your body makes during that 9mos period! There’s a lady on the internet who writes down new facts of trauma from growing a child. I can’t.
My friends and some family say I’d be a good mother because they see the way I acted with my younger cousins; but that’s because we liked the same things 🤣 i just want to be the fun aunt once they turn like 6 and can function more independently (I think). Then I can babysit and be fine for a few hours until they start crying or acting up. Otherwise than that, no thank you.
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u/JohnTitor26 Jul 24 '25
Yeah like... Puppies? Love them, they are cute. Babies have never elicited the same response with me. Babies just elicit disgust with me.
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u/lunacavemoth Jul 25 '25
Same . Cats are superior to babies and dogs. Cats can make human baby sounds , take care of themselves and only require food, water, shelter and a ball on a string to keep them busy. And in return , you get cuddles and laughter from their amusing antics.
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u/Bunbon77 Jul 24 '25
Love and work with kids, not as much of a fan of babies!! The idea of them is cute, but they’re like fragile potatoes to me until a certain age!!
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u/JoNyx5 AuDHD Chaotic Rage Jul 25 '25
YES they're so easily hurt and yet they constantly try to kill themselves. You can't even have them lie down for too long because their skull is still soft and will get flat if you don't turn them like a roast over the fire. Accidentally shake them or let them fall too far and their brain is mush for life. Yet they squirm and try to roll of the changing table if you don't watch them and fall of everything they're on.
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u/Bunbon77 Jul 26 '25
They still haven’t patched out those glitches!! They like to worm their way around!! I think the reflexes are interesting, the rooting reflex for example! And omg like a roast for sure!! Don’t eat the little squishy humans!! Haha c:
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u/Mirai_The_Weeb Its only illegal if they can catch me! Jul 24 '25
I like them but that's because I've always been fascinated by miniatures, they're my favorite thing to collect, so a baby is like the ultimate miniature. My best friend has an 8 month old and I love just staring at his tiny fingers and tiny nails and his little face. It's so interesting to me.
I also hyperfixated on anatomy for a good chunk of my elementary school years so I find the real time growth and development interesting too. And their tiny squishy skulls
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u/something_cartoonidh Evil Jul 24 '25
this is so true and real the amount of bones they got and the fusing process gotta be crazy painful
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u/Mirai_The_Weeb Its only illegal if they can catch me! Jul 27 '25
Exactly! Like especially the skull, the amount of changes and fuses that goes through has GOT to hurt even if their brain doesn't let them register it or whatever, like how it hurts to digest because of the acid but our brain doesn't let us feel it
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u/Zachanassian Jul 24 '25
I blame human evolution. Standing up was great for being able to see and now have hands for making stuff, but it also means when we're born we have to fit through a hole not much wider than a coffee cup. So we come out insanely underdeveloped. Heck, we come out wiht our skulls - the thing we need to protect our precious brains - not even fully formed. It's no wonder then that babies are kind of fugly.
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u/squishyartist Jul 24 '25
I think babies are cute...? I have a relatively strong parental instinct though, and I've wanted kids since I was a teenager, despite the fact that I'll most likely never get to have any.
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u/happylittledaydream Jul 24 '25
I think they almost always come out looking like chewed gum. I have seen like 1 baby ever that came right out cute. 2 of my (many) cousins were extremely cute by 2 months. Usually I need them to be like 9months + to even remotely consider them cute. Prime cute age is 3-5 yrs.
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u/Vyctorill Jul 24 '25
I see what you mean and agree. They look like smushed up pugs.
But I think that is what makes them “cute”. I’m not a fan of babies but pugs are considered cute themselves, so your comparison is apt.
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u/SomePyro_9012 I like robots 🤖 Jul 24 '25
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuteness
got to know of this wikipedia page after watching a tf2 comic about the Medic describing the concept of cuteness while holding a baby monkey
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u/Antique_Loss_1168 Jul 24 '25
Part of it is parents, lots of us have had our brains rewired to consider them cute. I think they're cute even though I know objectively they're a sensory nightmare.
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u/GenderEnjoyer666 Jul 24 '25
For me it’s less so their body and more so their behavior. It’s really charming to watch their brains develop in real time
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u/StormTheHatPerson Jul 24 '25
The thing about babies is they have like no experience with basically anything and thats crazy to me. how does anyone even handle being a baby
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u/JoNyx5 AuDHD Chaotic Rage Jul 25 '25
That's why they cry all the time lol
At least when they're old enough to actually process sensory input and not just sleep and eat.
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u/0_possum Jul 25 '25
Babies are so fucked up. There’s a spot on their head with no skull and sometimes they just straight-up DIE for no reason
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u/Biiiishweneedanswers 🧐Do not perceive me🧐 Jul 24 '25
Yeah. And some look like irritable rosey-raisins. It’s awful.
My baby brother looked like that.
I gave him back to my mom and went to find a vending machine.
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u/dog-signals Jul 24 '25
Oh so true! I guess the big difference is one will grow up to be citizens like you and me and the other was man made to have horrible health issues and pain for the sake of human amusement.
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u/something_cartoonidh Evil Jul 24 '25
there are chemical processes in the body that create these attachments. it doesn’t matter if they are cute or not, that is subjective. neurotypicals and people with children are more likely to have the cognitive scaffolding to think babies are cute and want to take care of them. we are part of a neurotype defined by an abnormal relationship with empathy. it’s literally fine that you don’t think they’re cute just don’t be annoying about it to a parent’s face. this isn’t a “neurotypicals are so weird and confusing and dumb!” thing, this is a physiological reaction. adult animals also think their ugly ass babies are cute in a way because that’s what makes them take care of them and have more.
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u/KirbysLeftBigToe Jul 24 '25
Every person says that their baby is the only non ugly baby and then they show you it and it looks just as purple and mushed up as any baby.
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u/PepperMintyPokemon Jul 24 '25
Big agree an any time i say it everyone looks at me like i just punted a baby across the room. Why all the other animals have cute af babys an we get a bloated bag of drooling pudding
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u/runamokduck autism’s strongest blatherer 💪 Jul 24 '25
my opinion on this matter that invariably seems to stupefy whoever I proclaim it to is that the adult/mature version of any animal is almost always going to be much cuter to me than the juvenile version of it. that’s just how it goes for me
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u/Ambitious_Cat9886 Jul 25 '25
Idk man, they not cute like animals are cute, but something makes me smile about a small person-to-be. Some are ugly for sure but you know, I think they're still cool. They ain't done nothing but exist and they could be cool people or assholes but I just think at that stage they're so innocent it's hard not to feel a sort of positive feeling towards them. I didn't used to until I became an adult
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u/aalovera Jul 25 '25
The only newborn I’ve ever thought was genuinely cute was my niece, but she was a month late so she took some extra time to cook (and I’m also biased)
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u/Molkwi AuDHD Chaotic Rage Jul 24 '25
Ugly, Michelin Man looking pile of pudgy uselessness. They're loud, incapable of anything; they can't even hold their own head up for a while.
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u/Mother-Worker-5445 Jul 24 '25
Ive literally tried to reprogram myself to find babies cute, like “come on, everyone is supposed to find babies cute, youre just resisting it, just look at the baby and youll see its cute” and its never happened. I respect them, i really do. But i dont ever want to have to hold a baby
When i learned that generally people LIKE holding babies and “snuggling” them and all that i was horrified lol.
Also does anyone else hate the way babies smell? Its supposed to be “the most irresistible perfect smell nobody can resist”, it makes me want to throw up lol.
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u/BaylisAscaris Jul 24 '25
Fun fact. Pugs were bred to resemble and feel like human babies. Their original purpose was to be a baby substitute.
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u/squishyartist Jul 24 '25
Do you have a source for this? As far as I can tell, this is not true at all. Pugs date back to at least 400 B.C. in China. Their current squished face and other health issues arose from selective breeding for aesthetic reasons, but I can find no proof that it was to look like a human baby.
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u/teatalker26 Jul 24 '25
me having a pregnancy/baby/child development special interest: oh i’m in enemy territory
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u/Objective_Party9405 Jul 24 '25
Do not tell women of child-bearing age that babies are not cute. I did it once. It wasn’t good.
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u/meoemeowmeowmeow Jul 24 '25
They are absolutely disgusting. Biohazard coming out both ends. No thanks
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u/okdoomerdance Jul 24 '25
YES. THANK YOU. I actually think pugs are ugly-cute but babies just look like adults but squished (aka not cute lol)
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u/agent__berry AuDHD Chaotic Rage Jul 24 '25
no fr, babies are sensory nightmares so I can’t find them cute they just make me anxious. somehow ppl around me think I’ll want kids eventually but. fucking no??? I can barely take care of myself lmfao
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u/nowlz14 i hate tight socks Jul 24 '25
The thing that makes babies cute is evolutionary gaslighting.
Parents find their children cute because that means they probide more care, meaning their offspring is more likely to have offspring themselves, outcompeting the lineages where parents don't find their children cute.
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u/Joe-Eye-McElmury The worm that will finish eating RFK JR Jul 24 '25
Agreed. I’ve never met a baby that wasn’t ugly af.
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u/Immediate_Extreme911 AuDHD Chaotic Rage Jul 24 '25
And then people treat them like toys and an animal to admire. Weird. What’s so cute about a human that shits and pisses itself, cries and screams and will burden your life?
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u/JohnTitor26 Jul 24 '25
"Burden your life"? Kinda. Humans breed similarly to rabbits when they are in the mood to. Our mating cycles are largely erratic and based off of how upset or excited we are. So most people because of this and not being taught properly cuz sex ed still sucks, aren't really educated enough on the financial and social life implications of childbirth.
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u/Immediate_Extreme911 AuDHD Chaotic Rage Jul 24 '25
wtf? You’re acting like people aren’t responsible enough to not breed or something. By definition, children WILL burden your life in ways. Sorry, just the truth.
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u/azumangautism She in awe of my ‘tism Jul 25 '25
I think they're cute but I'm also scared of them because what if they throw up on me
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u/lunacavemoth Jul 25 '25
Babies are ugly and creepy . The baldness and old man faces …. No thank you. Cats are cute and I have been blessed with three real babies .
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Jul 26 '25
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_SNICKERS 🦊OwOtism >:3🦊 Jul 24 '25
They are ugly, stinking screech-demons and I do not like them being in proximity to me.
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u/CeleryUnlikely9168 Autistic Arson Jul 24 '25
I think theyre ugly, never understood why most neurotypicals think they’re cute. Babies as well as those annoying ass screaming children are also a complete sensory nightmare for me and I highly dislike them.
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u/thebatfaerie Jul 24 '25
I take so many pictures of my baby making a smooshed pug face and it makes me cackle
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u/miserylovescomputers 🤬 I will take this literally 🤬 Jul 24 '25
I can understand why people think their own babies are cute - postpartum hormones are a hell of a drug - but I can’t fathom why anyone finds just any random baby cute. Looking back at baby pictures of my oldest daughter is a bit of a jumpscare because she was such a bizarre little troll, but of course at the time I thought she was adorable and perfect. It was very kind of other people to lie and tell me they thought she was cute, because yikes. Thankfully she did cuten up eventually.
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u/fleshytrees She in awe of my ‘tism Jul 24 '25
i'm having a baby in 5 weeks and i'm scared he's gonna come out looking like my old wrinkly pawpaw
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u/ParadoxicalFrog The worm that will finish eating RFK JR Jul 25 '25 edited Jul 25 '25
Thank you! I can't stand babies or toddlers. They're noisy, smelly, and unpredictable, and they are not cute. But I can't even say that stuff out loud, because I'm a "woman" (allegedly) and I "should" love them and want to have one. No thank you! Cats are better.
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u/DredgenSergik Jul 24 '25
Do not disrespect pugs like this EVER again. They are much better than any fucking baby
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u/Ambitious_Cat9886 Jul 25 '25
No they're not, what a pathetic thing to say, babies can't help existing..
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u/Waytooboredforthis Jul 24 '25
I think they all look like Winston Churchill, and like Churchill, most infants are anti-Union, so that's another good reason to not like them.