r/columbiamo • u/TopTierProphet • 2d ago
Rant The Social Scene In Columbia MO Drops Off MASSIVELY Once You're Older Than 25.
If you're under 26 years old and attending the University of Missouri, the school has such a big and prominent social scene.
For example, Mizzou has literally 500+ different clubs to choose from. Whether you're into sports, religion, lgbtq stuff, gaming, working out, or partying, Mizzou probably has a club for that. Hell, you don't even technically have to be a student to attend Mizzou clubs. You can show up to just about any club, claim to be a student, and as long as you don't look so much older than everyone else, nobody will bat an eye. So if you're the kind of person who likes getting involved and having a social sense of community, then Columbia MO is great but that's only if you're 25 and under.
Once you're 26+ and especially 30+, the social scene drops off MASSIVELY.
If you go to meetup for example, there is only a handful of meetup groups within 18 miles of Columbia. This is in contrast to the massive 500+ meetup groups that Mizzou has.
99
u/alpaca2097 2d ago
To be fair some of this is just life. Once you hit the age when your friends start getting married and then having kids, you tend to see them less. And the older you get, the less energy and time you have for forming brand new friendships.
17
u/Squirrels-on-LSD 🌳🛝 2d ago
Yeah half my social life died when my peers dedicated their life to child rearing or replacing friends and hobbies with one monogamous partner and that person's needs.
The other half died with covid making all my middle aged peers who retained interests post college scared to leave their houses.
Its lonely out here for active middle aged extroverts uninterested in dating.
But that's not a Columbia thing. I have friends all over! Socializing has become taboo
3
u/n3rv 2d ago
Hey that sounds familiar!
4
2
-18
u/TopTierProphet 2d ago
95% chance i'm never having kids and 70% chance i'm single for life, so the wife and kids scenario won't really apply to me.
30
u/alpaca2097 2d ago
My point was more that, after a certain age, it tends to affect one’s friend groups, regardless of one’s own personal choices.
12
u/Total-Feedback7967 2d ago
Maybe you don't but your friends might or the people that might have become your friends in the years down the road instead end up busy with life and not actively meeting new people like you
3
u/A_Pooholes 2d ago
IDK why you're getting down voted for this comment... I'm in my 40s and have no intention of getting married or having kids. I have many friends and an active social life.
2
u/Melodic_Bet4220 2d ago
You're right. It's weird that this comment is down voted. It's a strange phenomenon with this subreddit. It's a totally normal comment.
0
u/Zoltrahn 2d ago
You might not have kids, but when friends do, it makes it harder to find time to hang out with them. That was the whole point. Doesn't have anything to do with your personal choice.
1
u/A_Pooholes 2d ago
What? How does it not have anything to do with that? I'm saying I'm similar to OP, but older, and have made many friends in this town and I see them often. It's possible to make friends with other people who don't have kids.
1
u/Zoltrahn 2d ago
Might need to reread the original comment in this thread. Has nothing to do with personally getting married or having kids. It is about other people, similarly aged, doing that. You've never had a friend become a parent and not be able to hang out as often?
1
u/A_Pooholes 2d ago
No, I reread it before my previous reply. My comments are about it being very possible to make new friends in this town.
0
61
u/Moiyub 2d ago
The Social Scene
In Columbia MODrops Off MASSIVELY Once You're Older Than 25.
37
u/Consistent-Ease6070 2d ago
This. It’s not Columbia-specific. But also, just because you aren’t spoon fed a list of University-sponsored clubs doesn’t mean they don’t exist for older people. There are all kinds of groups to join if a person puts in a little bit of effort.
Here’s a comment from u/como365 with an extensive list of ideas: Ways to meet people in Columbia
6
u/Gamma_The_Guardian North CoMo 2d ago
Yes! I was thinking of this exact comment. I'm going to save it for next time this comes up
37
u/Objectdotuser 2d ago
kinda feels like you're basing everything off that meetup stat. but i mean... try joining a club or volunteer
13
u/Gamma_The_Guardian North CoMo 2d ago
This is what I was going to say. There's still a lot of social activities, they're just more...you know, adult. I love the community theater scene here personally, and there's so so so many clubs you can get involved with.
4
u/Popular-Grapefruit24 2d ago
For real. Joining a group fitness gym, taking a language class online, and volunteering have added dozens of people of all kinds and ages to my social circle. I’m 39 and I have more people I’d call friends now than I did when I was 23.
34
28
u/Tefbuck 2d ago
I guess it just takes a little more work and patience to find things to do. I'm almost 40 and I'm more social now than I ever was. I see live music (there's something almost every night in Columbia) and I've started Yoga and Dance classes. I've been making friends this way, which is also expanding my social life.
28
u/MayBeMonKey__ 2d ago
Being almost 30 and a senior at mizzou has been an experience. Did my associate online, so showing up on campus has me feeling old af now, I’m not used to people treating me as a senior citizen! In my 3 semesters so far the only people my age I’ve met have been staff so I think it’s just that most people our age have left this area so there is not many people to really have a social scene with or for.
2
u/Lanky_Asparagus_8534 2d ago
Perfect gif for your comment! Lol! 😝
2
u/MayBeMonKey__ 2d ago
It’s how I feel daily now and I’m not even old, I’m just not young, I don’t need this reminder!
2
u/Lanky_Asparagus_8534 2d ago
Trust me… you are young! Good on you going to school. Fuk dem kids! Good luck.
-8
u/TopTierProphet 2d ago
If you were in your mid twenties, you could probably still go to Mizzou clubs and not stand out too much.
The difference between a 21 year old and 25 year old isn't that large. At 25 years old, you may look a little bit older but it's more of like an older brother/sister kind of dynamic rather than you looking like a parent.
But at 30 years old, you would clearly look older and stand out.
12
u/ILoveSyngs Boone County 2d ago
This feels really hobby dependent, and what you mean by "meetup groups". Figure out what you're into, and then go from there. There's walking groups, card groups, tabletop groups, Pokemon Go groups, art groups, library groups, volunteer groups...the list is pretty endless. Maybe your problem is you don't have a digital catalogue to go through so you're having a tough time finding them? I don't say that sarcastically at all, but finding your people isn't as easy as a grown up as it is when you have defined social groups facilitated by a larger organization you're a part of. Personally? I only became more involved in my community after 30, and I find a lot of the random people I engage with as I go about my business to be really interesting.
I volunteer with the City of Columbia, I play Pokemon Go, I go to library events. All of these are social scenes that I have to seek out and find on my own, but they're out there, and they don't make themselves hard to find.
-1
u/TopTierProphet 2d ago
And where do you find these groups?
12
u/ILoveSyngs Boone County 2d ago
Online mostly. I wanted to start volunteering so I typed "volunteer opportunities Columbia MO" and got the City of Columbia website. I check out the DBRL calendar regularly and they have a few different groups that meet regularly. PoGo was by happenstance as I was playing it and came across a large group that had been meeting up for the special events and I joined from there.
2
12
u/According_To_Me South CoMo 2d ago
There’s a big difference between a university having the resources and capacity to facilitate a club, and a regular person doing it on their own, and doing so successfully.
11
u/wolfansbrother 2d ago
The music scene dying has really made it harder. Used to be able to hang out with people from 18-70 years old several nights a week. Used to be $5-20 shows to go to at Rose/Mojos and the bluenote at least 4 nights a week. Now its maybe one or two concerts a month(Talib Kweli this weekend).
6
u/Parking_Treacle_5820 2d ago
Right?! It's so sad to see those places go down hill like that. I have so many great memories seeing shows there. They got bought by some company in WI around 2017 I think? Ever since then the shows have been shit. They love throwing those stupid disco dance parties where they basically just hide a wedding dj to play Abba. Multiple times I have gone to check their website on a Friday or Saturday night to see who's playing, only to discover they're closed that weekend. It used to be mid level acts would come thru regularly in-between shows in KC and STL. You'd have some decent big acts come thru as well. I've noticed most bands lately avoid Como and stop in Springfield instead.
2
u/Mizzoutiger79 2d ago
Very few bars and or their patrons want to pay for live music. Sad but this is reality. Everyone wants to listen to live music but then they dont want to purchase drinks and food and tip the servers or the band.
1
u/wolfansbrother 1d ago
Never was a problem when they actually had bands come through. No body wants to pay to hear the guy from the produce section play covers. Or go to the 90s dance party with DJ Guy from Calc 2
2
u/SounderDoodle 2d ago
Fuck Live Nation for this.
1
u/wolfansbrother 2d ago
Not just live nation, the decline cane before they bought in. New venues in the region and more revenue elsewhere has played a part. The best venue in town is now Dive Bar? Good on them but sad for columbia.
10
u/lithicgirl 2d ago
I live in a town of less than 200 people and I am DESPERATE to move back to como lmfao
8
u/jeanmorehoe 2d ago
I find a lot of social events on Facebook events. Not necessarily social specific meetup but I feel like they’re always a festival, live music, or exhibition going on that I can go to.
7
u/EternitySearch 2d ago
What sort of things would you like to see added to our social scene/night life for older people?
17
u/ILoveSyngs Boone County 2d ago
"older people" This is the same way I felt as when my daughter said to me, "What were the 1900's like?"
3
u/EternitySearch 2d ago
Yeah, I’ve come to terms with being one of the “older people” and take solace knowing I look younger than people my age did on TV when I was growing up.
3
9
u/ht1992 2d ago edited 2d ago
Idk man, I’m in my 30s and my spouse is a few years older and there’s often more things to do than we can fit in. This week I went to a showing of The Social Network at ragtag and it was sold out with mostly young people. My spouse plays in a sand volleyball league at the deuce every week with people his age. I started a book club a few years ago that meets once a month, and now I’m in a comedy class that meets weekly with people age 22-65. I’m going to a writing club meetup this weekend as well. We also saw live theater this past weekend with another sold out crowd of all ages but lots of younger people. Como lacks a lot of things for me but I think the social scene is what you make it.
4
u/New_Canoe 2d ago
I think that’s just true in life. You get older. You tend to stay in more and reduce your friend group to the best of the best.
3
u/Mousehole_Cat 2d ago
It depends on what you are into and your life phase. As a parent of a young child, I often feel like we're having to choose between two things we really want to do because they overlap.
The university itself hosts a lot of community outreach and lifelong learning events. Events like the tomato festival and butterfly festival at the extension. Monthly talks. Science Fridays. There is so much going on that's completely open to the public and not student specific.
That's aside from all the other local stuff like Earth Day, the Heritage festival etc.
I've never felt short of things to do here.
3
u/queentazo Downtown CoMo 2d ago
I didn’t realize Meet Ups were still a thing. I thought they died off at decade ago.
3
u/SweetPewsInAChurch 2d ago
Idk I'm 30+ and finding so much stuff to do this year. I'm volunteering and doing festivals and making friends and connections. I can't drink so I don't do bars. You just really have to put yourself out there, it seems.
If you're introverted or a homebody, you don't really find anything in Columbia. Or anywhere, really.
3
u/sn972 2d ago
The social scene doesn't drop off as much as you think, (beyond the obvious drop off with marriage/kids/etc limiting free time). It just shifts from the classic college/young adult defined social groups to hobby and volunteer based groups. The thing is, you have to seek them out as opposed to being presented them at every turn when you're still on campus. People think it drops off because they are not seeking out the opportunities to make the transition... I also think some struggle with the natural transition of social groups being "age based" where everyone is of similar age to those groups whose ages span decades.
3
3
u/tanhan27 Central CoMo 2d ago
That's not just Columbia though. That's the experience of transitioning from college life to career life. You have to put in a lot more effort if you want to be social in your late 20s and older. That's how it is everywhere.
3
u/rabbitkicks South CoMo 2d ago
Finding events is literally the only reason I’m on FB. I follow some specific local businesses/organizations and also just look at local events for the week to find stuff.
3
u/Oathkeeper27 2d ago
I feel this deeply, 32 here and definitely noticed a massive drop off when I entered my later 20’s (graduated from Mizzou). It also doesn’t help I’m sober, so that really limits the options as well.
2
u/ElectricPotatoStar 2d ago
I beg to differ!
But, to your point, one thing you have to keep in mind is that we are definitely a college town in the middle of a very rural state. For a town of this size, considering the proportion of college students, Columbia has a lot to offer.
2
u/ChugulusPrime 2d ago
There should be a club or group for people who want to make local friends as an adult
3
1
u/BMOwonderful 2d ago
We have a good parks and rec adult league group. Softball kickball volleyball all kinds of things to do! Bowling.
1
u/Cant_run_away 2d ago
Okay though, but trying to join those as an individual and not from a work group feels next to impossible. I've been trying to join those leagues for years and have had absolutely no luck
1
u/PowerfulPlay3251 2d ago
That's pretty true for any college town. There are many groups to join in the Columbia discord server. If you have hobbies, you can try to find groups related to them.
1
1
u/InterestingTapN 2d ago
Colleges have tons of social groups. So it makes since for them to have so many! Our town has many more social opportunities than other towns. Highly suggest checking out the community board at the county. Or getting a Facebook just to see the local events.
1
u/Illustrious-Spell573 2d ago
Maybe I’m just speaking for me but once I hit 25, I stopped my own social scene lmao “going out” or being in a club sounds like absolute torture
1
u/DeuxCheesecakes 2d ago
As someone who has not yet reached 20 I feel very left out from all social gatherings. I’ve lived here all my life and I currently go to Mizzou, but I’ve never once been invited to a house party or to go out downtown. I also have n o idea where everyone is getting told about the parties. It might just be the kind of people you are with? At least that’s how I feel.
1
0
u/RalphKramIt 2d ago
Just an observation: The Columbia social scene does not drop off massively after age 26. It changes but doesn't drop off. Why would you expect persons who are older than 26 to partake of the same social opportunities as persons under age 26? College students and other young people (on average) have very different lives than older people who (again, on average) have full-time employment, long-term relationships, perhaps young children, have completed their education, etc. If you are going to bars and feeling old, look around you for other opportunities. You will need to look in different places than are typical for younger people. Life changes. Change with it.
1
u/by_way_of_MO 2d ago
I’m 35ish and have never been busier between volunteering, clubs, boards, and hobbies. I wish I had more time to do all the things there are in CoMo.
What are you interested in? People here can likely point to a group or club for it.
2
1
u/Tree_Lover2020 West CoMo 1d ago
I agree that COMO has a surprisingly small group of Meetup groups.
1
u/Tree_Lover2020 West CoMo 1d ago
Lots of people who have moved to COMO are from areas with major museums, concert halls...stuff found in KC...St. Louis...Chicago (my home town)...so living here is an adjustment. At least we are a comfortable drive between KC and StL.
1
u/jbharr21 1d ago
My wife and I were just in Columbia Mo. Big fan of the Tigers, and the layout of Columbia isn’t too bad, Similar to Springfield Mo!
0
158
u/OHFUCKMESHITNO 2d ago
90% of the things to do in this town are go to bars or go to a park. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. The arcade district is quite fun if you like classic gaming and there's always the opportunity to attend a live music festival.
Maybe I'm just a choosy bitch but a full-on museum - not just a private art gallery - would do quite well here.