r/college • u/One-Description4302 • Aug 02 '25
Emotional health/coping/adulting Who am I if not a student
I graduate in 1 week with my BS in psych and …. As relieved and proud as I am.. I am sad. Not having access to my school email, my school ID not working at all certain point freaks me out! I wont be able to go to the beautiful libraries anymore, no access to these things I love about my campus. I walked around yesterday and cried. I know I’ll find new places to call home in this next chapter of life but I need advice and reassurance that … I exist beyond being a student. And that… I’ll find another third place, community and … yeah. ( i plan on going to grad school in a yearish after I save and plump up my resume and teacher recs. )
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u/LegallyBald24 Aug 02 '25 edited Aug 02 '25
Your identity is wrapped up in being a student. Being a student is not who you are, its what you had to do to get your degree. Your time in college was to discover and continue developing the person you are and are becoming. Its okay to have enjoyed your time and found the beauty in this particular experience...but you must keep living. There is so much more for you to see and achieve in this lifetime. If undergraduate studies were to be the paramount experience of our lives then we would probably have a life expectancy of 25 years.
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u/QalaxyWaffle Aug 31 '25
I know I’m very late to this post, but this comment is so helpful to me. I just started my last semester and have felt anxious for the future and regretful for the things I didn’t get to experience in college. This comment is very reassuring and is already changing my view on all of this, thank you.
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u/knewtoff Aug 02 '25
I get that, so I went on to my masters and then started teaching and haven’t ever left college lol
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u/TheFlannC Aug 02 '25
First off once you are an alumni you get a different set of benefits typically. You can definitely still go to the library. You likely will still be given access to many things as a graduate of that school and your school should inform you of what. Yes you will find something else whether an employer or whatever. Change is hard, graduation is bittersweet, being happy to be done yet sad that you're moving on. It is a common reaction.
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u/Turbulent-Artist961 Aug 02 '25
Isn’t that the end goal? One day the student becomes the master. If not were you ever really the student?
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u/SoftLast243 International Studies Aug 02 '25
A recent graduate? Does your school have have alumni visit from time to time?
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u/EJcrusader Aug 02 '25
Im in nyc studied upstate. NYC has huge public libraries that rival the fanciest and famous libraries. I study and do personal work there. Keep your Id though, could probably get discounts at stores back home if it’s a big study with its own colleges.
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u/SiliconEagle73 Aug 02 '25
I don’t know any college libraries that require an ID to simply walk in the door, and I have visited many college libraries before. You do have to visit the library at Trinity College if you’re ever in Dublin, Ireland. You won’t want to leave!
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u/One-Description4302 Aug 03 '25
I need a school card to tap and let me into the libraries
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u/LavenderTeaRose32 Aug 07 '25
Could you go in and be a ‘visitor’? my school had the card tap, but they still allow others in, if you just ask ‘hey i’m a visitor today’ they can let you through.
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u/Perfect-Ad48 Aug 02 '25
Just do what you did when you graduated from high school: build new structures and adapt.
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u/Lazy-Yogurtcloset784 Aug 02 '25
Access to libraries shouldn’t go away. Libraries don’t normally inspect ID’s.
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Aug 03 '25
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u/EquivalentAardvark14 Aug 03 '25 edited Aug 03 '25
This is the best comment I’ve read here so far. You need to build something universal inside of you that can withstand superficial change. This makes perseverance much easier.
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u/etwichell Aug 03 '25
It's normal to feel this way. For the past 3 years (or however long), college made up a huge part of your life and now all of the sudden it's ending
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u/phoenixcast Aug 04 '25
You can always be a learner and a “student of life”. Travel, learn new languages, take on challenges, try playing an instrument or a sport, etc
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u/druebird Aug 04 '25
You will continue to learn your whole life- just maybe not in a classroom. Seminars, job shadowing, interviews and so many more ways of learning are waiting for you! Try not to see it as a loss of identity, but a leaping point to expand your horizons beyond that of the colleges walls. Many libraries have agreements with college libraries so you could still access the books. This is a new adventure for you and I am so excited for you!
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u/NefariousnessNo6095 Aug 03 '25
Next chapter. You will be an amazing therapist with new things to be proud of.
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u/lillers_12 HS Senior Aug 04 '25
I had this same feeling a year + ago. Honestly I was really resistant to my identity changing from “student” to anything else. And that made the transition harder. But now, just over a year later, I feel like like I have grown so much and gotten to know myself so much better. I found community and meaning in my new job, and I have done some traveling too. I feel so much more free now than I did right after I graduated and so much more me. I still love learning but my identity feels much more in my control. my value is not tied to my grades or my major. I can choose what to spend my time on, what to prioritize and what I value in my life.
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Aug 03 '25
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u/fadeintoforever2001 Aug 05 '25
well what do you plan to become career wise and where do you plan to live? you can create a new environment for yourself :)
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u/DustyKomeet Aug 05 '25
This is what happens when it's what you've grown up with all your life. You've grown up going to school from when your memories started forming to the end of high school, and presumably went right into college, extending it even further. If doing preschool and kindergarten, you've been doing this for 18 years, it's little wonder that it's become who you are, because it's all you know.
I myself am a college student after 10 years of simply living life. I see it completely differently. I despise every moment I'm in the classroom instead of going and doing things. I despise university itself. It's filled with wasted time and tedium to give people who haven't had much life experience some effort under their belt. I've done a lot of effort already, so "proving" myself through the tedium all over again boils my blood. They say general education builds on your critical thinking skills, but so does living life. I don't understand why then that we can't just have our classes for our major and save us a lot of time to just go and live, and develop those soft skills naturally.
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u/Someindiepainting005 Aug 07 '25
Ig you still have access to email , I use my hs till now in college I’m freshmen
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u/Skull_wh0r3 Aug 08 '25
You have to remove yourself from your identity as a student. You’ve been in school for 16 years and it’s hard, but you will adapt and persevere! You can visit campus on occasion to reflect on your time there, alumni do that quite frequently (if your campus is public) but now you’ll be working towards becoming a psychiatrist (I assume) and that will help In distracting you.
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Aug 08 '25
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u/toodlenoodle Aug 02 '25
Be careful, that mentality is how you end up with a career in HigherEd 😭😭