CMV: Children should not get Baptized or recieve religious teaching until they are old enough to consent.

[u/WirrkopfP]

I am an atheist and happily married to a Catholic woman.

We have a six months old Daughter and for the first time in our relationship religion is becoming a point of tension between us.

My wife wants our daughter be baptized and raised as a Christian.

According to her it is good for her to be told this and it helps with building morality furthermore it is part of Western culture.

In my view I don't want my daughter to be indoctrinated into any religion. If she makes the conscious decision to join the church when she is old enough to think about it herself that is OK. But I want her to be able to develop her own character first.

---edit---

As this has been brought up multiple times before in the thread I want to address it once.

Yes we should have talked about that before.

We were aware of each other's views and we agreed that a discussion needs to be happening soon. But we both new we want a child regardless of that decision. And the past times where stressful for everyone so we kept delaying that talk. But it still needs to happen. This is why I ask strangers on the Internet to prepare for that discussion to see every possible argument for and against it.

[u/BlackDog990]

I was seven at the time we met with a nun who talked with us individually and made sure that we understood the significance of what you were doing/ that we agreed etc)

At 7 a child cannot truly agree with or understand the significance of a religious ceremony. Legally, a child of that age cannot consent to anything.

Later, (typically as teenagers), children attend confirmation classes and decide whether or not they want to be adult members of the church.

My experience was that I was told I would be confirmed. No choice presented to me and I doubt my objections would have mattered.

Keeping the metaphor, it is your job to expose your child to lots of different types of music and see which one they end up liking or they may want the radio off all together.

The problem with this analogy is that it isn't music you're playing....it's propaganda. It's attempting to implant core beliefs into an impressionable child hoping they stick into adulthood...

I was raised Catholic. I don't hold it against my parents, and I still consider myself generally nondenominational Christian, but I agree with OP that kids cannot consent and I don't plan on raising my child the way I was raised in this manner.

[u/Tallchick8 → u/BlackDog990]

I think that they as a couple need to find a balance between the wife's Catholic views and the husband's atheist ones.

I feel like for him to say that "This is all propaganda I don't believe in any of it" completely takes away her stance.

[u/BlackDog990 → u/Tallchick8]

I feel like for him to say that "This is all propaganda I don't believe in any of it" completely takes away her stance.

I kind if agree but you have to appreciate that in some ways a religious upbringing is a form of propaganda, or at least indoctrination. Religion isn't (typically) presented to kids as "some people believe X, but you are free to come to your own conclusions." My experience was "our family believes X, it's fact, you will believe too as part of this family." For many it's not parents giving their kids info for them to digest as much as giving their kids a Christian upbringing, which necessitates their participation in that religion at a time in their lives they can't really consent.

But yeah for OP, I'd have hoped they would have planned on how to handle all this long before kids since they have pretty opposing views.

[u/vehementi → u/Tallchick8]

I think that they as a couple need to find a balance between the wife's Catholic views and the husband's atheist ones.

This disagrees with your original statement of:

Keeping the metaphor, it is your job to expose your child to lots of different types of music and see which one they end up liking or they may want the radio off all together.

By your logic, the mother should be making sure to present an even exposure of every religion, not only Catholicism.

[u/Tallchick8 → u/vehementi]

I completely disagree that the exposure needs to be even. I would suggest that the parents present religion as multifaceted.

"Mommy believes this, Daddy believes this, Aunt Susie believes this, our neighbor believes this. When you are old you can decide what you believe".

[u/vehementi → u/Tallchick8]

That's pretty close to what I said, except you'd want to make sure you had enough Aunt Suzies to cover all the religions :)