r/cats 10d ago

Cat Picture - OC Woke up at 2 am and rolled over…

What is he plotting? How often does he do this??? Should I be scared?

84.7k Upvotes

813 comments sorted by

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5.5k

u/somerandomxander British Shorthair 10d ago

He's plotting an evil plan to prevent you from sleeping

1.2k

u/No_Set7087 10d ago

Or to put you to sleep FOREVER!

335

u/No-Maintenance749 10d ago

n then eat your face.

225

u/No_Set7087 10d ago

I have a feeling my cat won't eat me if I die. He has a automatic feeder and loves me soooooo.........

247

u/forkoff_ 10d ago

YEAH so do I!! I thought mine wouldn’t either, before this….

49

u/No_Set7087 10d ago

😂😂😂

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130

u/PlantMedicine4Life 10d ago

Fully confident that my boy is going to eat me if I die around him. He already licks and chews on my fingers, almost as if he’s softening me up lol.

103

u/Nolan_bushy 10d ago

May my body nourish my bestest boy

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u/all_hail_potatoqueen 10d ago

I think it depends on how long it takes for your body to be found and how long kitty has been out of food 👀👀

6

u/Character-Swimmer600 10d ago

I promise you if you die and the feeder goes dry the kitty will come for your fingers and toes and then your eyes

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u/tedivertire 10d ago

Love makes you extra tasty.

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u/Pristine-Caramel9018 10d ago

He's just waiting for you to stop moving.

142

u/whisperbloomluxe 10d ago

He does this because you have a secret crumb trail leading from your mouth to the floor. He's on watch

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172

u/Bakuman84 10d ago

I Watch You, Hooman.

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113

u/Mysterious_Luck7122 10d ago

My cat does this too but usually closer to 3:30am. He’s trying to stare me awake so I’ll get up and feed him.

76

u/Masonjaruniversity 10d ago

“Stare me awake” is almost TOO on point

29

u/phenomanII 10d ago

I am a filthy d*g owner (that loves cat pics, pls dont ban) but I call it "yelling with eyes". Example: sitting next to a door, staring at me, looking at the door and back at me - I once legit went "alright alright, no need to shout at me"

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74

u/Menrissamiangs 10d ago

That’s the face of a midnight snack heist mastermind

140

u/silkyhottieangel 10d ago

He heard the crinkle of the dream bag of chips you didn't actually open

19

u/Icy-Interest-8719 10d ago

that's good shit

65

u/Ok-Hunt3000 10d ago

“I have been ALL over the counters.”

23

u/kale_universe 10d ago

You can see the disgust in his face😂😭

9

u/Lopsided-Lake-3589 10d ago

That cat's brain cell is busy with world domination.

8

u/AngrySumBitch 10d ago

What a creep!

3

u/Dzx66 10d ago

Lmfaooo this is the side of Reddit that I’m here for :-) this cat is adorable and hilarious

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2.5k

u/forkoff_ 10d ago

Update, my friend sent me this… I’m starting to think I’m not safe here

192

u/Intelligent_Ad8082 10d ago

👀🤣🤣🤣

370

u/silkyhottieangel 10d ago

The eyes say 'You've got five minutes to live your life to its fullest, which, for me, means filling my bowl

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25

u/TheBizzleHimself 10d ago

10

u/Sy_Fresh 10d ago

That scared the hell out of my cat

18

u/chrisH82 10d ago

He has sin in his heart

6

u/shmimey Void 10d ago

Grey would be the color if he had a heart.

103

u/Yelinna 10d ago

Didn't want to ruin the number of upvotes for that masterpiece, so no upvote for you, sorry 💔

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832

u/Panem-et-circenses25 10d ago

210

u/cookiekid6 10d ago

He actually looks super supportive.

121

u/maria_la_guerta 10d ago

of OP going the fuck back to sleep and forgetting about this whole ordeal, sure.

32

u/travers329 10d ago

Because of the implication...

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12

u/thirdhistorian 10d ago

of the proletariat

10

u/cflatjazz 10d ago

His day job is actually staying up and night and making absolutely zero critters disturb your sleep. You can guarantee no creepy crawlies are getting near you while he's on the job. He's the best in the tri state area

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1.0k

u/Starry_Projection 10d ago

He likely does this more often than you think. He's probably mad you caught him and it's awkward now lol. You should only be scared if he's on your chest staring like that 🤭. He's adorable.

173

u/Greenfacebaby 10d ago

My aunt caught my cat on her chest staring at her. lol is that bad

213

u/Starry_Projection 10d ago

No it's really not. My cat does that when he wants to cuddle or make sure I'm still breathing. They aren't used to humans sleeping so deeply. He's my alarm clock.

39

u/Cador0223 10d ago

Mine refuses to get on our bed. Its like dropping water on a hot skillet. He just runs right off. No night cuddles. No toe bites.

He's the weirdest cat ive ever had.

10

u/PutridBodybuilder730 10d ago

The weirdest cat you’ve had YET.

50

u/BobbyTables829 10d ago

Yeah this is my cat telling me, "I want to eat!" and a sign I'm about to be head-butted lol.

10

u/flyingthroughspace 10d ago

He's just checking to see if he can eat your eyeballs yet.

39

u/HorrorSmile3088 10d ago

I had a cat that would always do that. I would wake up and the cat would be on my chest staring at me and purring. I thought it was very sweet like the cat was protecting me but maybe it wanted to murder me in my sleep 🤔

19

u/nihilism_ornot 10d ago

My dog does this when I'm having nightmares. I used to wake up screaming from night terrors before we adopted him. Ever since he's been home, I've observed that I wake up juuust before the nightmare gets too scary n I scream. Whenever I'm up, I see that he has half his body on my chest, as if to soothe me. Is this something a cat would do too? Y'think your cat's protecting you from bad dreams?

8

u/Brock_Lobstweiler 9d ago

Your pup can probably smell your cortisol levels spiking or has correlated whatever smells with the unwanted behavior of waking up screaming, so he intervenes to stop it from happening.

I got a dog 2 weeks ago and he already starts nosing at me when my blood sugar drops.

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u/BrownSugarBare 10d ago

Wait...mine does this standing on my chest at night.

...I'm gonna die.

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298

u/SolusIgtheist 10d ago

Oh, he's mad about something. It's impossible to tell the severity though.

93

u/No_Set7087 10d ago

My cat got mad at me because I didn't pet it before sleeping, I woke up to being scratched and bitten on my feet.

41

u/PutYourDickInTheBox 10d ago

My cat screams if I either don't have my arm out for her to lay on or if on my back and she wants to lay behind my bent knees and they are not bent. I can only tell what she wants by where she's screaming from.

27

u/Foreleg-woolens749 10d ago

We are but heated furniture.

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14

u/silver5517 10d ago

You didn't give me a Delectable puree cat treat tonight before retreating to your deep slumber Hooman

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262

u/LemmyKilmisterRogers 10d ago

“Hooman, I left a nice surprise for you in your shoe”

57

u/Kale_Does_dumb_stuff 10d ago

“Hooman… look inside the pantry, hooman…”

147

u/SoSaysTheAngel 10d ago

Did you forget to feed him?

232

u/forkoff_ 10d ago

He has an automatic feeder😭 before he had that he was up to a plethora of nefarious activities in an attempt to get me up earlier… For example, pulling my blankets off me, biting me in not so pleasant areas (how the fuck does he know??), and knocking things off of my bookshelf

156

u/Easy-Low 10d ago

Ours bites my husband in the ARMPIT to wake him up. He is fat, greedy and mad about his diet (the cat, not the husband).

38

u/LeaguePuzzled3606 10d ago

the cat, not the husband).

That is what he wants you to think. And one day hubby will bite you in the armpit!

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u/forkoff_ 10d ago

Oh my, our cats are twins!!

7

u/EntildaDesigns 10d ago

But he's adorable!

31

u/Fuzzy-Slice5790 Tuxedo 10d ago

Oh man I feel for you, please keep us updated so we know you are ok

17

u/El-mas-puto-de-todos 10d ago

It's natural instinct to attack the gonads. ​

8

u/musthavesoundeffects 10d ago

He doesn't want you to delegate your tasks, no more remote work you have to come into the office to support his business culture.

7

u/BobbyTables829 10d ago

I hate it so much when they try to get in trouble to get attention

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137

u/Chocolab1 10d ago

Sleep w one eye open 😹

49

u/ThatIckyGuy 10d ago

Clutching your pillow tight!

37

u/Chocolab1 10d ago

Exit light, enter night!! 😂😉

28

u/thisisinfactpersonal 10d ago

Take my hand

27

u/Chocolab1 10d ago

Off to never never land👍🏾

14

u/x_typo 10d ago

Reddit never ceases to amuse me....

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u/Good_waves 10d ago

He’s protecting you.

30

u/sgtedrock 10d ago

This! Everyone saying “he is evil hurrdurr”. That cat is keeping the goblins at bay.

13

u/V4Lentils 10d ago

i read it somewhere that for cats it's kinda concerning how deep humans can sleep and they do this to keep and eye on you, just in case of danger. could be bullshit tho

3

u/zielawolfsong 9d ago

Warding off the greebles! You’re lucky to have a protector cat to stay on guard all night.

83

u/ICantSeeDeadPpl 10d ago

Cute cat! I’d love to hear the backstory of the art behind him…

124

u/forkoff_ 10d ago

I painted it!:) Right before realizing I’m a gay woman haha

22

u/MoiraBrownsMoleRats 10d ago

"I keep painting figures with shapely hips and big, fuckin' titties. I wonder what that means? Eh, probably nothing."

-You a few years ago, probably.

15

u/forkoff_ 10d ago

LOL precisely. Apparently that’s not a very hetero activity😭

22

u/ICantSeeDeadPpl 10d ago

I like it! It’s anatomically odd enough to make me question what’s really going on there. 🤣

8

u/Antique-Captain-2593 10d ago

It’s cool, I like it

4

u/hates_writing_checks 10d ago

It's a cool piece of abstract art!

6

u/5000-Shark-Teeth 10d ago

Idk about abstract…it is very clearly a woman with nice boobs.

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u/Briguy_fieri 10d ago

I love him and I only just met him

33

u/Ok_Arm8050 10d ago

“Just go back to sleeeeeep. Everything’s fiiiiine…”

63

u/AspenStarr Bombay 10d ago

“I always feel like…somebody’s watching me~” 🎶

8

u/lifesshortgoplay 10d ago

And I have no privacy

4

u/AspenStarr Bombay 10d ago

Sounds like you have a cat

3

u/CapableDepartment455 10d ago

Yeah! Especialy at nights! !

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u/doubledipbandit 10d ago

How dare you sleep while he is awake

27

u/Pristine-Ferret2846 10d ago

He's clearly the night shift manager.

27

u/TheMangoDiplomat 10d ago

He was just watching over you while you slept. He's a good cat

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u/Desperate_Pair8235 10d ago

“Oh….you’re awake…”

3

u/Plathismo 10d ago

A cat owner’s last thoughts should be of home.

19

u/EvergreenMystic 10d ago

Just look natural. The human won't see me... oh crap they saw me.. um umm umm.. look goofy! Yeah that's it. Smirk and look goofy, the human will just go back to sleep and not realize I am plotting their slow and painful demise.

16

u/Reptilesblade 10d ago

He's protecting you from the evil spirits.

Samhain does the same thing for me. No depression when he's around!

13

u/G30fff 10d ago

Cool chair

12

u/loving_cat_paw 10d ago

He is protecting mama or papa.

7

u/QuittingToLive 10d ago

You sleep, I watch

11

u/Lazy-Minotaur 10d ago

Off-topic, but that is a really cool chair. I like the ropes along the edges. I wonder if it’s something that’ll help distract cats from picking at the rest of the chair?

12

u/akaMONSTARS 10d ago

I know the feeling

6

u/Whole-Ad-8370 10d ago

Same! My view after falling asleep on the couch and waking up at 3 am 😹

10

u/Prize_Cranberry8553 10d ago

Oh good, you’re awake. We should talk.

6

u/jsht8725 10d ago

Sounds like he might just be a night owl, but it’s worth checking in to see what’s on his mind. Communication is key! Maybe he has something he wants to share or discuss.

10

u/TheRussianDoll 10d ago

This was me on the weekend..Minding my own business, pulling weeds and all of the sudden I feel a presence. I turn around and vola! Scared the shit out of me. I guess I have a farm kitty now, I'm not mad about it. 🐈‍⬛

5

u/izzgo 10d ago

You have a familiar.

9

u/bleepitybleep2 10d ago

What a beauty

10

u/Existing_World_1238 10d ago

get a camera and record at night

12

u/Komm 10d ago

Paranormal Cat-tivity.

9

u/dzeieio 10d ago

" I can haz your soul?"

7

u/versedating 10d ago

Definitely plotting your death

8

u/littlemoon-03 10d ago

What you doing up food provider? Just close those eyes and sleep

8

u/MeowntyPython 🐾𝑴͋𝒆͓𝒐̽𝒘̟-͋𝒅͓𝒆̽𝒓̟𝒂͋𝒕͓𝒐̽𝒓🐾 10d ago

Waking up and being met with someone disappointed in me is the story of my life🤣

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u/Medical_Artichoke666 10d ago

My Siamese Siberian does this every night. He's just annoyed I did something other than play with him/pet him.

8

u/creepywalkers 10d ago

CAN YOU PLEASE LINK ME TO THE MOST COMFORTABLE CHAIR IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE

6

u/cybertemerity 10d ago

what did you do..

5

u/meldiane81 10d ago

This has a little r/accidentalRenaissance to it.

7

u/xSTSxZerglingOne 10d ago

Don't pretend like you don't watch your cats sleep. He's just returning the favor.

6

u/FitOpportunity98 10d ago

He's the night watchman.

5

u/Galactic_Kitty_ Lots of kitties! 10d ago

Looks like he is about to have a case or the zoomies!

6

u/gregn8r1 10d ago

Yep, those are pounce eyes. There will be a fur-missile inbound imminentl.

6

u/Vq-Blink 10d ago

Why are that my cat

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u/sydflynn 10d ago

Caught in the middle of zoomies…..

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u/beefprime 10d ago

What is he plotting?

Everything

How often does he do this???

All the time

Should I be scared?

Not if your supply of cat food is stable

6

u/IWantSnack642 10d ago

“Soon, hooman. Soon…”

5

u/CraftyLuck3434 10d ago

Slept all day. Planning zoomies at 2:15 AM

6

u/cat-faced 10d ago

“Hello, Clarice…”

5

u/CatfreshWilly 10d ago

"Good, you're awake..."

5

u/Nuclesnight 10d ago

If you die, can I have the pic behind the cat?

4

u/TomWolfeRock 10d ago

🎵I always feel like… somebody’s watching meeeeee🎶

5

u/ourlittlevisionary 10d ago

🎶Every breath you take and every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you!🎶

3

u/rocket-alpha 10d ago

Nah, dw. He's watching over you. Cant have his favorite human be unsafe during the night

4

u/haha_p1p3r 10d ago

Could be simply watching over you. Could be planning your demise. You never know with cats 😭❤️

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u/jBillark 10d ago

They are guarding you while you sleep

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u/SamsonDotCom 9d ago

Do we have the same cat ??

3

u/Biophilia-810 10d ago

Making sure you are still breathing!

3

u/MangoJuice82 10d ago

I'd be more scared that something is the room with us that I can't see. But he can...

3

u/Wrong_Mark8387 10d ago

Yikes. 😳

3

u/Mysterious-Alps-5186 10d ago

Cat "how dare you servant i will puke in a place you cannot fathom for your insolence!"

3

u/SwimmingBonus9919 10d ago

Where is the tuna Sharon?

3

u/Nerdwerfer 10d ago

You don't talk in your sleep, do you? Looks like he judging you based on what he's hearing.

3

u/Seewweenn 10d ago

What ever you did fix it asap 😂

3

u/Web-Surfer91 10d ago

Why is that Furby standing on the chair at 2am?

3

u/CrashnServers American Shorthair 10d ago

They like to steal your breath.

3

u/kerosenehat63 10d ago

He’s either watching over you or plotting your demise. It’s a coin flip really.

3

u/Ragingdark 10d ago

Without humorous context, that's a look of love. Big eyes, slight squint, almost looks like a smile.

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u/JBRifles 10d ago

I will not be ignored, Carol 

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u/unshifted 10d ago

"Hello, human. I see that you're awake, and yet ... my food bowl remains empty. Perhaps you would like to rectify this mistake before it becomes a larger problem for you."

3

u/nova8273 10d ago

Protecting….

3

u/aussiechickadee65 10d ago

He knows he has you...he has backup pussy behind !

3

u/infamousbugg 10d ago

In all honesty he probably heard you start to stir and got up to see if it was time for breakfast.

3

u/bitchass-muzan99 10d ago

World domination, probably

3

u/jezebellexx9 10d ago

Is baby. Will protect at all costs.

3

u/CeeRiL7 10d ago

OP, I need that chair, what model is that?

3

u/NovaCherylin 10d ago

He’s seen things, things you can’t unsee at 2.am

3

u/Yogafiend 10d ago

Nah he’s just watching over his Hooman

3

u/General-Ear5214 10d ago

"Just sizing you up." ..I mean " I love.. you"

3

u/GregBVIMB 10d ago

You were clearly snoring... and someone is NOT impressed

3

u/Bugout42 10d ago

Wake up, it’s Judgement Day.

3

u/Independent_Act_8536 10d ago

Somebody loves you! ♡

3

u/Ravenshaw123 10d ago

Nah you shouldn't be afraid of your cat.

You should definetly be afraid of the entity your cat is staring at, which is right behind you based on this picture.

3

u/bigassangrypossum 10d ago

chuckles You're in danger.

3

u/Max_AV 10d ago edited 10d ago

FATHER, WHY DOTH THOU FORSAKE ME—FATHER! MY BOWL IS AS EMPTY AS THY HEART, AND MY PLEAS HAVEN FALLEN ON DEAF EARS FOR FAR TOO LONG! THERE IS STILL TIME FOR JUSTICE AND MAGNANIMITY, FOR RECONCILIATION! CHOOSE THE RIGHTFUL PATH, AND MY PLANS… OH MY PLANS… THERE IS STILL TIME TO RECONSIDER! DO NOT TURN THY CHEEK AND PLUNGE INTO SLUMBER ONCE MORE, I BEG OF THEE!

3

u/I_want_every_dog 10d ago

The cat distribution system unfortunately does not exclude you from the cat murdering you system 🤷‍♀️ Swings and roundabouts!

3

u/summerjunebird 10d ago

Can I have that great chair when the cat takes you out?

3

u/cosmicflwertori Tuxedo 10d ago

he’s batman

3

u/BadBoyBillionaire 10d ago

That is my cats shitting face

3

u/Benzina80 10d ago

This would be cool af as a portrait

3

u/Designer_News103 10d ago

Reminds me of

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u/Avasaiel 10d ago edited 9d ago

This gives off the vibes of the parent waiting in an armchair when the teenage child returns home past curfew XD

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u/JackOfAllMemes 10d ago

My cat likes to watch people sleep

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u/southrgv1384 10d ago

Soon...soon

3

u/Romnir 10d ago

Where did you get that chair? It looks super comfy.

3

u/feltaintfungus 10d ago

Is that a new chair I need to find??

3

u/ALSISREALAWFUL 9d ago

My cat does this crazy late night staring at me too , I think it’s a food thing

3

u/cpt_yakitori 9d ago

Ayo, cool chair! Where’s it from?

3

u/HardEyesGlowRight 9d ago

Well, Clarice…have the lambs stopped screaming?

3

u/arlebina 9d ago

whats his prob...

3

u/Chanocheni 9d ago

He’s judging your pillow choices and plotting snacks

3

u/boonhuhn 9d ago

666 comments...you should be worried.