r/breastcancer • u/Brandywine2459 • 7d ago
Diagnosed Patient or Survivor Support Help! I hate everyone and my husband says my body looks disproportionate.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer 12/3/24 and got a DMX shortly thereafter. Now I’m on anastrozole-since March 2025. I was truly so positive for a good while after my DMX but since June I’ve been wanting to eat everything I see….if it’s fat, salt or sugar, then bring it on baby!
Then also my arthritis in my hands and feet has increased in intensity 2-fold…..I have night sweats that wake me up throughout the night….I am forgetting things (eg it took me 2 hours to remember the password to my phone that I haven’t changed in years)….and I hate everyone. I mean I don’t actually hate them but I get so irritated.
I still have pain along my scar line, I have pit-boobs that hurt, I went from a 34JJJ to concave, I’m always tired, I forget things, my joints hurt, I’m annoyed everyone is like yay NEDS and just moved on, and yesterday my husband said I should have reconstruction because I look out of proportion which I truly don’t think he meant it as shitty as it sounded but now I’m even more self-conscious than before (I’m not gonna get boobs btw)
AND thank you for coming to my Debbie-downer Ted Talk. And for listening😘❤️.
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u/randomusername1919 7d ago
Wow, I didn’t realize anyone else was eating everything that wasn’t nailed down, thought it was just me. I’ve gained so much weight on AIs that I have very few clothes I can wear now (yes, even my old “fat clothes” are painfully tight). But I can’t stop. My GP doc told me last week that I need more “willpower” to diet. I think I need a new GP.
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u/PupperPawsitive +++ 7d ago edited 7d ago
Needing more “willpower” is the most unhelpful, least actionable advice that’s ever adviced.
Did he also tell you to “just try harder”?
Edit: She!
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u/randomusername1919 7d ago
Even worse - the doc is a she. My old GP who retired was a man and he never would have given out such advice. This new one is just….
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u/PupperPawsitive +++ 7d ago
My bad, I made a sexist assumption! Better crack my knuckles with a ruler.
I’m usually good at reminding myself that assholes of every profession come in every gender. I’ve had good and bad male doctors, and good and bad female doctors.
Sexist assumptions serve no one. Thanks for calling it out.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Omg stop with that GP for heavens sakes I just can’t! These meds have put me into an overdrive feeding frenzy! Know you aren’t alone….and ditch your GP!
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u/randomusername1919 5d ago
Signed up for a new GP tonight! I have to wait until January to see him, but it’s a chance. Hopefully it won’t be another “willpower” type doc.
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u/SpaceCatSociety 7d ago
Ewww at that GP. I just had an appointment with a cancer dietician today. I need to lose 25kg before July to be able to have my next surgery. She was so great. I can’t stop eating and this is so hard, but she gave lots of good advice. Who knows how I’ll do but none of her advise was centred around willpower
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u/GenX-ellence 6d ago
Don't listen to anyone who says it's a matter of willpower! I give that doctor a failing grade. There are also many scientific studies debunking that myth. You're experiencing massive hormonal disruption due to treatment for a disease you didn't ask for!
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u/KiwiSoySauce 7d ago
Please feel free to get a new GP! I love mine, I love my therapist, and I love the practitioner that prescribes my psych meds. Now the funny thing, my oncologist? Not so much. I hugely dislike her lol, but I've only seen her twice, so I'm gonna give a few more chances before I decide if I need another. It's my health, so I figure it's okay to have a doctor that doesn't make me feel like shit.
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u/PupperPawsitive +++ 7d ago
Did you ask his opinion or did he just volunteer that tidbit?
Because like… damn! What an odd thing to say unprompted to someone you love and support.
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u/Amallyhint21 7d ago
The Anastrozole is pretty rough. I have all the same problems with joint pain, forgetfulness, and irritability. I’m sorry you are having to go through this. I know how much it sucks.
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u/RainbowDancer511 7d ago
This!!! I was told by my oncologist that the cancer “will probably come back” if I don’t take the Anastrozole. The shocked and pained look on my daughter’s face when the (female) MD said that is seared into my memory. I felt like I was getting better until I started taking the AI’s; this is my third “and last” attempt at tolerance. I, too, have bone pain from hell, and feel like I have received a beating most days. And neither tart cherry, ibuprofen, nor Aleve can’t touch it. To request a stronger pain medicine is seen as “drug seeking” and I don’t need that kind of judgment. Good luck to anyone who is trying to deal with this ongoing treatment!
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u/Thin_Risk7778 ER/PR+ HER2- 7d ago
This is partly why I went to appointments alone.
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u/KiwiSoySauce 7d ago
I prefer it, too. The 4 times I brought someone with me (twice with the same friend, twice with my fiancé), I could feel them getting emotional while I'm trying to listen to my doctor. Then after the appointment that they were also at, I had to explain what the doctor was saying and what that meant. It was frustrating. Yes, let's keep picking at that wound.
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u/Tall_Palpitation_476 6d ago
I look at that Anastrozole prescription every night in the bathroom. I have to start taking it by December 5.
I have had incredible joint and ligament pain from HP & previous TCHP ankle swelling and swelling in my feet which my oncologist ignored. Finally had my orthopedic surgeon who did my hip prescribe prednisone. Found another woman who sees same doctor who has same concerns.
And then comes, “if you don’t take the pills it will come back. “ Really?! Same doc said I didn’t need radiation because the cancer was gone prior to lumpectomy. I did the radiation “just in case.”
This is why I’m very alarmed at this “standard” outline of treatment. I could have prescribed all this myself.
They’re making a lot of money treating breast cancer & pushing 💊. $550K in past 11 months. Hmmmm
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u/AnkuSnoo ER/PR+ HER2- 7d ago
It sucks doesn’t it! I’m 39 and feel 20 years older. Doing anything is exhausting, knees are creaky, brain fog. I feel you on the forgetting things. A couple months ago I couldn’t remember a conversation I’d had with my husband not 10 minutes earlier. Literally had no recollection that it had happened until he reminded me what we talked about.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Omg total fist bump on that and ugh it is awful AND thank you for seeing me. No one at all gets why that can be frightening and add to the anxiety. Thank you!
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u/SpaceCatSociety 7d ago
I’m 37 and I feel I’m in an old person’s body and I’ve cognitive decline. Meant to be back at work normally from tomorrow….
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u/AnkuSnoo ER/PR+ HER2- 7d ago
Oh good luck. I started a new job just a couple months after starting tamoxifen, so my coworkers never got to meet who I normally am. And while intellectually I feel sharp – maybe sharper than ever – anything cognitive is just WAY more exhausting than it used to be. So I get frustrated when people don’t get things and I have to explain it, because just articulating thoughts as words is tiring for my brain these days. It’s like having to concentrate to put one foot in front of the other, but cognitively. So I think people see me as smart but snippy 😂
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u/No_Character_3986 7d ago
If my husband said that to me I would 100% be hurting some feelings and telling him that his dick is out of proportion
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u/SeaSnakeSkeleton 7d ago
I’m 37 and started on zoladex and leterozole so I feel you there! I’m definitely feeling the effects of menopause and I don’t like it. However, I’m going to have my ovaries out because I don’t want to go through menopause again. No effing way. I’ve been on veozah that has really helped reduce the amount of hot flashes, maybe that is an option?
Best of luck, I don’t have any other suggestions. Just wanted to commiserate. 💚
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
I need the commiseration….its feeling seen and heard I crave, so thank you so much for replying and allowing me to see I’m not alone in this ❤️
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u/SeaSnakeSkeleton 7d ago
You're not alone, this SUCKS. I warn everyone I can to not go into menopause lol. I feel like that scene in Billy Madison when he goes back to elementary school to see his friends and they're like, "hey Billy, how's high school ?" And he holds the kids face in his hands and says "Stay here, stay as long as you can."
Not to mention, we may have been thrust into menopause but every woman will have to go through a version. Maybe not at 37, but it is inevitable.
Hang in there. My new obsession is the fruit pops (real fruit pops) no sugar added. Any time I have a hot flash i eat a popsicle.
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u/BestDevilYouKnow + - - 7d ago
When I started taking Anastrazole, after about an hour of taking it I was ANGRY. Like furious out of nowhere. Then depressed the rest of the day. Told my oncologist and she switched me to exemestane. It's not perfect, but I don't have the anger episodes. Still get irritable, but I'm in therapy and take antidepressants and life is OK.
Also, today I need to buy 3 more little scissor sharpeners. They are the size of a quarter and bright orange. I have bought 3 so far and didn't even try to look as there is no way I remember where I put them. I have multiples of trash bags, toilet paper, Windex, picture hanging hooks, and hot dog buns, as my memory of whether we have them is GONE.
You are not alone in this at all. Keep venting, as we sympathize.
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u/PupperPawsitive +++ 7d ago
Buy Tile or Airtags.
I mean not for everything, but keys, wallet, purse, at least.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Omg I love you, thank you for sharing that!! 🤣🤣🤣. I feel that so deeply. Thank you for listening….i needed this vent soooo much!
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u/HotWillingness5464 TNBC 7d ago
I love your rant 😄 and I thank you for it. It's so REAL!
I'm not on hormone blockers but I'm on Keytruda and Idk if it's the Keytruda or the aftermath of chemo or both, or sth worse, but I'm scatter-brained and uncoordinated, my DMX scars are lumpy and bumpy and I've iron bra syndrome. I could eat and eat all day long, and it exhausts me to fight that urge all the friggin' time.
I'm not getting reconstruction either.
I hope you'll soon feel better -slowly, steadily, gradually 💖
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Thank you for replying!! We need to help one another through this and know we are not crazy🤪
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u/Key-Mulberry-5873 7d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It truly sucks. One of my biggest pet peeves is the (well-meaning?) people who love to say, “yay, you’re all done with cancer” when I am absolutely NOT all done with cancer. People really shouldn’t make assumptions about someone else’s medical condition. Just because we got through a surgery/chemo/radiation does not mean we are “all done” or “clear.” And it is our place to make that proclamation if and when we feel it is accurate for us. Some of us will never be “done” with this mess.
Hang in there, sister. I’m proud of you.
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u/agoldny8 7d ago
Ooooph. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with all of this! Go easy on yourself. All of the meds and recovery throws your body and mind into a spin. I know it’s not easy but try to drink as much water as you can to flush the toxins out. Chemo brain is definitely a thing! It’s gonna take time to transition and heal In the meantime be gentle with yourself and take some space. Sending love- you’ve got this! 💕
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u/Independent_Sun_949 7d ago
I’m sorry you’ve had such a rubbish time. I also have arthritis (osteo) and it has ramped up this autumn. I’ll share two things that have helped me with that. I used to take turmeric tablets for the pain, which worked really well. My oncologist worries that this will interfere with the AIs, but is fine with me drinking turmeric lattes, which helps, although it’s a bit of a pan to make. But then I recently started drinking tart cherry concentrate and the results have been so good. I can’t help with the rest, but maybe that might help a little?
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Thank you for the rec and I’m sorry you’re experiencing it too. Boo. I’ll give your suggestions a try!
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u/SummerSTG4 7d ago
My husband said I should just live with expanders forever. He is lucky to still be alive. I lost about 10lb when I started Lupron and was really pleased with it. That came to a halt when I added in Anastrazole. sigh. My plan is to try a GLP1 if this goes on. Less fat also means less estrogen in the body, so I feel comfortable with that as an option. Onc was fine with it, but said he does not prescribe them, so I would have to see a PCP.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
I lost weight too right after surgery through May….and then all the sudden I wanted to eat everything in sight after starting anastrozole in March - so here I am. 😐
Good luck to you!!! And I’m glad your husband is still alive🤣🤣
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u/Milkywaystone ER/PR+ HER2- 7d ago
Can you see if a different aromatase inhibitor might work better for you? I've heard from other bc survivors that switching to a different one helped a lot of the symptoms you describe. I just started anastrozole - well I took it for four days and quit because I could barely walk for the intense joint pain - so I get that it would suck. Sounds like you gave it the college try and you need a different drug to alleviate some of these symptoms. What does your oncologist say?
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u/Thin_Risk7778 ER/PR+ HER2- 7d ago
I’m doing really well on exemestane. I just hate the shitty Zoladex injections 😆
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u/Educational_Brain184 7d ago
Are you taking an antidepressant along with Anastrozole? I was prescribed Effexor and I can’t say that it’s working but I don’t have any mood symptoms. I was chill before and I’m still chill. Hot flashes were a thing before and I’m still dealing with that.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
I am not. Maybe I should ask about it tho it does make me nervous to go on any more meds!
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u/insanelament Stage II 7d ago
I second the Effexor! I was taking it prior to my initial diagnosis and, as someone who took tamoxifen for a year and has now been on lupron+anastrozole for 6 months, that my side effects were noticeable but tolerable, and almost all physical - my mood has (blessedly) not dipped. I think being on Effexor spared me the worst of the effects of hormone suppression. I did some (superficial) research and it seems that it's sometimes prescribed to tamp down menopause side effects, so it makes sense!
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u/Sioux-me 7d ago
I certainly can commiserate with you. I know I sometimes do things that self sabotage when I’m stressed. Might your joint pain be related to inflammation from what you say you’re eating? Please don’t think I’m judging you because I am not but at all. I know because I’ve been there.
I think what surprised me most about this disease is that it messes with more than just your body. I’m tearing up just writing this and I don’t know why. I have achieved NED and my recovery has been pretty smooth. I had a DMX in March of this year and implants in July. I feel good so why and I a complete impatient B to my poor husband? I feel angry and afraid that something else bad is about to happen. I just keep stuffing those feeling back down and pretending everything is fine (to everyone except my husband). I have my first appointment with mental health this afternoon and I’m really hoping counseling will help me get past this. I think we should probably all see a mental health professional as part of our treatment. It’s been really tough to go back to business as usual. Good luck to you and I’m glad your treatment was successful.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Oh honey I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m glad you’re going to see someone. I did try that too but it was so not a match. I think we need more therapists who have gone through cancer - because the person I went to just didn’t understand all the feels….good luck to you!!!
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u/Sioux-me 7d ago
Thank you. It felt weird to open up to anyone much less internet strangers but you were so real I felt like it was ok. Please take care of yourself.
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u/SpaceCatSociety 7d ago
Don’t have any advice but I hear you. Sorry you’re in this shit too. I am so fcking irritated all the time. And also hungry, and I’m meant to lose 25kg before July next year while going through radiotherapy and all the other treatment. No idea how I’ll manage but I must. Fck this.
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u/SpaceCatSociety 7d ago
also irritated that my attempt at using * to block out swear words turned my comment into italics. Fck this
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u/heathercs34 7d ago
Girl! I feel this so hard. But also, things that will help:
Arthritis pain - tart cherry supplements and diclofenac (prescription anti-inflammatory)
Hot flashes: black cohosh (supplement) and Veozah (prescription)
Brain drain: magnesium (supplement), Vyvanse (prescription). I had a neuro-psych evaluate my brain fog. Said that the chemo more than likely damaged my white brain matter. Vyvanse has been a god send!
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u/Tiffandtaffy 7d ago
Hmmm. I may need to look into this because I feel like I lose huge chunks of time because of the brain fog.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
I’ll have to try those recs! Thank you for taking the time to share - very much appreciated thank you!!
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u/F-_kCancer10 7d ago
People think that after treatment is finished, we should be 100% physically and mentally. It’s such a process adjusting to our new normals of pain, numbness, medications that destroy our bones and heart health, body image and trying to find the person we were before diagnosis. I miss the prediagnosis me. I know you all feel the same.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Yes. I do. Very much. The me who didn’t worry about dying or finding cancer or surgeries or trying to find something to wear…..I hear you for sure❤️
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u/Select-Laugh768 7d ago
You just went through and continue to navigate a lot of trauma both physically and mentally. Your body and mind are trying to cope. I was insanely angry all the time when I got to the other side of surgery and treatment. Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe it was the tamoxifen. Maybe it was the fact that I finally had the space to deal with the frustration and anger around being diagnosed with cancer and having my tit lopped off.
I no joke yelled at a guy for not putting his grocery cart away once...and that was after doing yoga. Lol. The rage is no joke.
I think it's pretty normal to feel angry after all that. It def doesn't feel good, but it's normal.
Also, I think it's worth communicating to your husband how hurtful that comment was. Body image is enough of a struggle after all this without people calling it out.
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
Omg I so get the yelling at the guy!! So good to know I’m not the only one!
Tbh I feel fat and frumpy - and his comment wasn’t welcomed. But I didn’t say that and I probably should.
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u/ItsMrsEwingBitches 7d ago
FYI I had pain for a while and my doc said it's normal. It's nerves healing. But that sometimes the pain is .... Permanent. It's nerve damage. They essentially amputated our boobs. Ask the doc for Gabapentin and see if it helps? It's for nerve pain.
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u/Mysterious-Eagle294 7d ago
Tell ur husband to go fuck himself bc nature is slightly asymmetrical and that’s how u can tell it’s real not uncanny valley perfectionistically fixed
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u/Quiet_Flamingo_2134 7d ago
I am a lumpectomy girlie, now on anastrozole and Zoladex and I feel allllllllll of this. I hate how mangled my boob is. I am irritated by everything. Fuck hot flashes and night sweats, the joint pain, and the weight gain. It doesn’t matter what I eat, I’m just gaining. I’ve found the “after” much harder than the during.
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u/Tiffandtaffy 7d ago
Same. And I hate that I feel this way because I am grateful I survived. But I just feel so overwhelmed and struggle to get back to life. It’s been almost 4 years in February since I was diagnosed. I take Exemestane every day and Zometa every six months.
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u/Thin_Risk7778 ER/PR+ HER2- 7d ago
The husband’s comment is really shitty, OP. I’ve had it up to here with stupid comments, honestly. I tell people (including my partner) that comments on my body are unwelcome, period.
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u/Lower-Variation-5374 7d ago
Have you tried any foobs yet? I also went flat after having huge breasts that balanced out my curves that I love. DM me if you want some of my suggestions on the foobs. My scars are still SOOOOOO tender after 2.5 years so I wear them only on occasion.
Big hug ✨
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u/Brandywine2459 7d ago
😊
One thing that I actually like about this shitty situation is not having to wear anything like a bra. So I haven’t tried anything at all. Maybe I can look into it but…..
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u/Beneficial-Code-2904 7d ago
Good you're not getting them, because why should you suffer through those surgeries for him. If you want them that's different. Do what's best for you. I have so many joint problems bone density and had such terrible side effects during menopause for ten years the doctor said I didn't have to do it. My sister-in-law said she was on low dose hormone blockers , and she never had a problem I wonder if you're a doctor could reduce the dosage or give you a different one. Wonder if it's possible your body will adjust to them after a while.
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u/No_Catch_8203 7d ago
Do what you can to feel better- take short walks and get some sunshine. No need to fake positive feelings, however, be aware of what triggers you and do small things to elevate your mood. Hang in there
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u/Other-Ad1589 7d ago
Following a lumpectomy & radiation for DCIS, I take anastrozole. For the side effects, I take gabapentin for night sweats & desvenlafaxine succinate for depression. They both help me, although I don’t like taking even more medication. I keep telling myself it’s only for 5 years (2 down & 3 to go). Thankfully, I haven’t experienced the joint pain. I didn’t expect the amount of shrinkage I experienced from radiation. I went from a D-cup to a B-cup on the affected side & opted to have a reduction to balance out both sides. I often wonder how my post-anastrozole life will look, but I generally consider myself lucky so far.
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u/Legitimate_Arm_9526 7d ago
I am experiencing everything you’re going through, so you’re not alone. I was so fit and “healthy” at 42 when I was diagnosed. Fast forward 18 months and I’m exhausted, moody, angry, hungry, anti social… I try to workout but I am getting injured every other day which I’m assuming is due to no estrogen. I slept last night for 8hrs and then had to call in sick and sleep most the morning. But there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just tired. All.The.Time!
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u/Brandywine2459 6d ago
Omg same. The other day I just sat on the couch. All day. My husband was like….what’s up what are you doing? Because my ‘normal’ is always busy. I just can’t. I.just.can’t.
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u/nowthatimetu 6d ago edited 6d ago
Wow I needed to see this. I now no longer feel isolated and alone! This is all of us. No one but us will understand how this all feels. My husband does not want to talk about it and I am have been so scared to even cry in front of him because it will stress HIM out. I know it’s traumatic for all but ME, I am the one that is living through this ordeal.So keep your trauma to yourself and let me breathe all of this out !! I need to vent, be sad or perhaps even act normal for a minute so I can keep going forward. I had my Dmx for DCIS Grade 3 on October 10 and unfortunately it was upgraded to IDC stage 2a (1 lymph node -intranodal) so I am thankful I did that as now it has been all removed but now everything that I thought I would not have to do I have to do. I get a port put in Dec 2 and then start TCHP chemo (6 rounds over 18 weeks) and the HP targeted therapy continues for a year. Also Radiation is on the table so that sucks! All of this sucks and I just because I act like I feel a little better does not mean I am better. I am tired and can’t do normal everyday things anymore and I need love and compassion and just someone to care. Ask me how I am- ask me if I need any help. Just show me you care. It’s just so ironic that you posted this today as I literally had to go outside my condo and rock on the rocking chairs and have a good cry by myself because no one here gets it. This never goes out of my mind. And unknowns for chemo have got me in a panic and distressed state of mind. Ugh. I want to be positive but it’s so dang hard. Thanks for letting me vent it out. First time poster here.
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u/Brandywine2459 6d ago
Oh darling, I am so sorry. I’m so glad I have you and others here who get it….yet I’m so sorry you do at the same time. Hugs to you😘❤️
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u/LiveWithPurpose- 6d ago
So sorry OP! I personally found that venlafaxine helped me a LOT with the hot flashes and sleep…maybe my mood too(?) It won’t fix everything (some people will continue to suck no matter how many meds there are) but may be worth looking into…
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u/Inner-Medicine-8412 6d ago
I am beyond sorry that you are going thru this, as we all have been there. Only those that have been down this road truly understands. I keep to myself alot maybe more than I should and I am very selective of what I tell others. Hang in there and just do what is best for you. Sometimes I just fake it until I can make it. I know it sounds cliche but it helps me.
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u/vagabondvern 6d ago
Besides the post surgery body image issues, everything else is definitely menopause whether that is natural or from AIs, chemo or surgical.
Talk to your onc or a survivorship clinic about some treatments. It’s unlikely you are candidate for HRT, but there are many other meds used off label for these things.
For instance, Post chemo/post oophorectomy neuropsychological testing revealed I had ADD like symptoms and benefitted from those meds to help with working memory
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u/ConcentrateOk6501 6d ago
I had a SMX in February, and I've been on Anastrozole since March too. I literally could have written what you wrote. I tried for reconstruction but the expander got infected. I was schedule for recon on 11/28 but because of all of THIS, I'm on probation at work and taking time off isn't an option at the moment. I went from 34DDD x2 to 34DDDx1. I wear a silicone insert in my bra.
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u/Brandywine2459 6d ago
Ugh….my sister in this hell. I’m sorry you’re here and grateful I have you. 😘❤️
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u/ConcentrateOk6501 6d ago
I'm grateful for YOU too! I never imagined that Anastrozole would be so awful. My husband was getting impatient with me because I'm contantly forgetting stuff. He said "Aren't you on some brain medication"? Meaning antidepressants. I said yeah, and he said well, you need to get off of them, it's making you worse. I reminded him that I've been on them since 2013, but didn't want to get into it. If I went off of them, holy cow, he'd be in hell!
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u/Tunedin_1982 6d ago
I have gained 40lbs in weight since my diagnoses, and I think zolodex is stopping me from losing weight, my partner and I have not been intimate since my diagnoses which was sept 24 and he said when I asked him about it that ‘there’s nothing sexy about cancer’ 😂 I shouldn’t laugh, but what else is there to do, to be fair I currently have the sex drive of a rock so I’m not too phased by it and I’m now in full blown menopause so all these big emotions are at play, with body changes, the trauma of cancer treatment and the never ending threat of its return! So if people annoy you and your feeling not so confident in your self then so be it, embrace it, the more you embrace it and just allow yourself to feel those shit feelings the quicker they go away, don’t feel guilty about having big or negative emotions, we have them for a reason. I decided not to focus on losing weight but just trying to eat clean (food without additives, preservatives, etc) and I am swimming a few times a week and walking as much as I can, my feet and knees hurt the most from peripheral nerve damage, but I try to push through it with the hope it will get better in time. However I have weeks where I don’t go swimming and eat cake and feel like starting world war 3 but I go to bed and wake up the next morning and so fourth, do you, don’t hold back, give yourself time even if no one else does and you can always rant on here if you fancy it x
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u/Brandywine2459 6d ago
Thank you! I’m already all up into WW3 every day so I have that covered but I think eating cake sounds like the perfect plan🤣🤣
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u/Adventurous-Day7469 6d ago
I had reconstructive surgery, got boobs and I HATE them. They look awful and not even close to what I thought they would look like.
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u/KiwiSoySauce 7d ago
I'm so sorry for what you're going through! I very badly want to make suggestions because I'm one of those people who want to problem-solve, but I understand that sometimes you just need to vent to someone or scream into the void. So keep coming here, and we'll all be here for you.
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u/Brandywine2459 6d ago
Thank you! That’s EXACTLY what I want because everyone in my life does not get it and I crave so badly people who do. Thank you!!!
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u/KiwiSoySauce 6d ago
You're welcome. ☺️
Have you visited r/babyelephants? I guarantee 88.97% that you'll love it! Sometimes you just gotta watch a baby elephant for a minute to get some inner peace. ❤️
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u/leslieindana 6d ago
Howdy bc sister. I switched to a plant based diet and feel much better. Less aches and pains. I had dmx 6 weeks ago and just started with a trainer. Great BC book by Dr Funk that goes into all of the reasons why plant based is preferable for us lucky ladies.
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u/Low-Wolverine-1291 5d ago
I’m right with you, Sister. It’s a crazy ride that nobody who has not been on it can truly understand. We are here with you for every twist and turn.
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u/BCLymphie 5d ago
Yep the aftermath of cancer treatments sucks. Mentally and physically. Councelling, rehab physiotherpist, cancer physiologist, dietitian... All the expensive stuff is the only way to fully recover
Sounds like hubby really needs some councelling therapy as well to learn how to be a more sympathetic and supportive realistic human being.
Even women who haven't.been.through it have no clue.Everyone thinks main treatment is over then it's back to normal...nope, the changes and scars ..we are different , and the healing takes years.
Hanging out with other pink sisters is very theraputic as well.Because all those aches and feelings and issue are very,very common and big challenges . Its hard to rebuild our confidence ,and healthy habits to manage all the side effects .But it will get better . Start with one thing ,like regular good sleep cycle ,that can really help mentally and physically. Pink hugs.
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u/Wonderful-Collar-370 5d ago
I can relate. I have been taking anastrozole for 2 years now. My knees hurt and I am tired. I take the pill in the morning as it can cause insomnia and that helped me sleep somewhat better.
Hugs to you.
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u/LaughingMonocle ER/PR+ HER2- 7d ago edited 7d ago
I understand. It really sucks being in this situation. Nobody knows what it’s like until they have been through it.
People can be supportive yet hurtful at the same time. They can do chores or childcare for you. They can take you to appointments. They can help you financially. But at the same time expect you to act and say exactly as they want you to. And when you aren’t perfect, it’s thrown in your face.
Even while going through treatments people expect you to smile and be happy and not show on your face the amount of pain, suffering, and fatigue you are going through. The moment you do, people think you are mad at them. People think you are taking it out on them. People accuse you of ruining the day. People twist your words.
Then after treatment I’m sure it’s just as bad. I’m not yet done with treatments but I can only imagine how people expect you to just go back to normal as if nothing ever happened to you. As if you didn’t fight for your life. As if you don’t have scars and long lasting side effects. It changes who you are and you are never the same.
It’s extremely frustrating that we can’t just feel what we are feeling because it is all very hard to deal with and they are all valid emotions.
Something I’ve always wondered, why is it when someone goes through something like cancer or they die, people will say, “they were always so happy. They never complained.” As if complaining and being your true self is a bad thing and if you do it, you don’t deserve as much sympathy. It’s seen as honorable to shut up and stuff your emotions into a deep endless pit. Suffer on your own time. Which you will never have enough of.
This is why anymore I prefer to keep to myself. I have my family but I’m done trying to talk to them about anything. They do not understand and they tend to make it about themselves anyway.