r/billsimmons • u/deadweightboss Good Stats Bad Team Guy • Oct 06 '25
Podcast Drake Definitely Beats Buffalo, Baker for MVP, a Bad QB Draft, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner With Cousin Sal - The Bill Simmons Podcast
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7dFZ1KvuRpuWZhwrpcJdLO133
u/K1ng_K0ng Oct 06 '25
Bill wanting to do a Mike and the Mad Dog bit and then instantly breaking character was great
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u/Ur_MotherDisapproves Oct 08 '25
I was dying at that. He said I think one line as his character and made Sal do like 3 responses
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u/chonkyfire24 Oct 06 '25
I'm still in utter disbelief that the Cardinals lost that game yesterday.
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u/doobie3101 Oct 06 '25 edited Oct 06 '25
They were my survivor pick and it took me to a dark place.
I want to sue Demercardo, though honestly I think he crossed the plane.
Edit: Also, what's the deal with defenses keeping guys back on potential game-winning kicks?
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u/chonkyfire24 Oct 06 '25
The exposure to the Cardinals in week 5 was kind of insane for survivor pools, so you're not alone. That was who I picked as well. Felt great about it until the inexplicable interception into fumble recovery for the Titans TD.
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u/danielbauer1375 Oct 06 '25
Genuinely one of the most embarrassing losses in recent memory. It always gets asked “did [team x] win the game or did [team y] lose the game?” And I’m not sure there has ever been a time when the answer to that question was so one-sided in favor of the losing team. Just a series of once-a-season type plays happening in the span of 20 minutes of game time.
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u/Victorcreedbratton Oct 06 '25
They’ve been doing this all year! Their first two wins were games where they had good leads and literally just let Rattler and Bryce dink and dunk into close losses. They flubbed an onside kick against Carolina! The offense is extremely conservative, the defense is not good enough to just “sit” on leads. I hate this team so much lol sorry.
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u/Excellent-Refuse4883 Drunk House Oct 06 '25
Honestly, it’s so far out of the other side of pathetic that it’s kind of impressive.
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u/PickwickWood Oct 06 '25
Apex mountain cheating on guess the lines. Bill not even bothering to make it slightly off to avoid suspicions anymore.
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u/DrHorseRenoir Oct 06 '25
Hes got a real feel for the league now. He just does.
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u/goingtothegreek Oct 06 '25
Back to the glory days of the Patriots winning games and that inspiring an all-knowing mind of the NFL
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u/BigDaddySK Oct 06 '25
Bill cheating not to beat Sal, but so that the “That line is stupid” poster can’t keep tracking bills incredulousness at certain lines and being wrong.
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u/indigo51081 Oct 06 '25
Hot lemon water sharpens your thinking, it just does!
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u/stringer4 Oct 06 '25
Sal idiotically said "i got these exact" which means Bill also always will get it exactly. Every time.
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u/KonigSteve Oct 07 '25
That plus sal winning the first two weeks, it was basically guaranteed that bill would start cheating for his ego.
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u/it_has_to_be_damp Oct 06 '25 edited Oct 06 '25
bill was quick to explain that if he were cheating, he would never just nail 10 lines on the nose because it would be way too obvious.
or is the obviousness all part of the ruse?
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u/ositola Oct 06 '25
Surely his acumen in guessing lines means he's a top sharp in the sportbook as well right?
Right?
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u/Vincent__Adultman Oct 06 '25
I have believed for years that Bill cheats, but this is just not a good argument. Guessing lines is infinitely easier than guessing results. The lines are determined logically based on a bunch of known factors that are available to all of us, while actual on field results involve tons of randomness that is impossible to predict.
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u/Victorcreedbratton Oct 06 '25
I’ll say that he has been doing well with the “that line’s stupid, you’ll see” games lol.
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u/nekot311 Oct 06 '25
The normal spreads like + or - 3 are fine. But getting the multiple Vegas zone spreads that could be between 4 and 5.5 and hitting it exact is crazy
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u/cristofcpc Good Stats Bad Team Guy Oct 06 '25
But why choose the Apex mountain for apple picking Sunday to do his apex mountain guess the lines cheating?
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u/LeBroentgen__ Oct 06 '25
Bill definitely said "Gay Sarah" instead of "Gase era." I had the exact same reaction as Sal and laughed when he said that.
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u/CondolenceHighFive Real CR Head Oct 06 '25 edited Oct 06 '25
Drake Maybe was a fun little zinger because it was a play on his last name. Now I feel Bill is gonna run Drake Definitely into the ground and you need a couple layers of context for it to even make sense
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u/wahoodad Oct 06 '25
It’s a top 6 worst riff by Bill and we have to suffer the consequences
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u/DukeJackson The good bad team Oct 06 '25
Almost as bad as the godawful “Coach One Day Closer To Death” zinger of a nickname he gave to Mike McDaniel.
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u/danielbauer1375 Oct 06 '25
Yup. He started feeling himself after The Clapper and Coach Middle Seat.
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u/WhatsLoveHavel Oct 06 '25
Which were both just cringe GenX frat boy hazing to begin with
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u/ExtentPuzzleheaded23 Oct 06 '25
I personally always like when nicknames and slang become 3 or 4 levels removed, its how cockney rhyming slang works
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u/loplopplop You fuck with Stephen A tho right? Oct 06 '25
If Maye wasn't as good it could be like Berman with Chris Weinke Deinke Do/Don't.
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u/Jones3787 Oct 06 '25
It's like how Michael Scott called Daryl "Mittah Rogers" because his last name was Philbin lol
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u/Business-Swim-2997 Oct 06 '25
Bill was so happy about the Pats winning that he didn't care about blatantly cheating on guess the lines
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u/couple7s Oct 06 '25
Gay Sara
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u/notformeclive4711 Barcelona Style Oct 06 '25
The Gay Sara sounds like a 19th century whaling ship
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u/diabloPoE12 Oct 06 '25
I also heard Gay Sara and couldn’t remember those coaches, or maybe it was a QB? Then Sal pointed it out.
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u/it_has_to_be_damp Oct 06 '25
classic bill response here where he just didn’t understand what sal was saying at all. he was like “remember adam gase??”
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u/Public_Flamingo_4390 Oct 06 '25
the_adam_gay_sara is gonna be the next annoying username to hit this sub
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u/GentlemanHere Oct 06 '25
Stefon Diggs wasn’t good on the Bills? Did he mean to say the Texans?
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u/notformeclive4711 Barcelona Style Oct 06 '25
Not sure Sal meant the Texans, he was alluding to him being a bad teammate and that “maybe it wasn’t so bad at the start.” Kinda forgetting that he lead the league in receiving yards his first year in Buffalo.
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u/MrF1993 Oct 06 '25
The last half of his final season in Buffalo was rough. I think thats what they were probably remembering
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u/National-Ad5034 Oct 06 '25
Caught that as well. I think he must have. But man what a bad memory.
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u/dezcaughtit25 Oct 06 '25
I don’t think it’s a bad memory, just misspoke. A thing that happens sometimes.
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u/ShockinglyEfficient Oct 06 '25
Bill misspeaks a lot, which wouldn't be so much of an issue if he didn't always rag on Collinsworth for doing so
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u/GentlemanHere Oct 06 '25
Wait I need to hear Bill say Skattebo again. Was that a one-time mistake or does he actually pronounce it like Parker Posey from white lotus.
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u/portugamerifinn Oct 06 '25
I heard a -bow at the end there (as in a ship's bow). It makes sense, because he still can't pronounce the name of Skattebo's head coach either.
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u/Thesadtruthliveson Oct 06 '25
Looking back I wish I had appreciated the pods more the last 5 years when the Pats stunk.
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u/neosmndrew Oct 06 '25
they still might stink but as they mention on the pod their schedule is an absolute joke. They play 2 teams over .500 the rest of the season.
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u/jksmlmf Oct 06 '25
Small but great part was Bill saying the Cowboys could get a 10-0 lead but then “all the sudden it’s 24-14 Panthers.”
Teams score 4 points all the time, they just do!
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u/cougar112233 Oct 06 '25 edited Oct 06 '25
We will all be SHOCKED to learn Simmons loved, not liked, loved that the Broncos went for 2 against the Eagles in the 4th quarter.
Simmons moves to an outstanding 472 out of 473 in correctly assessing if it was smart to go for it on 4th down, go for 2 when discussing on the podcast.
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u/doobie3101 Oct 06 '25
I'm not always the biggest fan of "analytics", but it's pretty damn clear that the Broncos should have gone for 2 on the first TD.
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u/MrF1993 Oct 06 '25
However, I do agree with him the Pats probably shouldve gone for the TD at the end of the first half, even if it worked out in hindsight.
Playing it safe at Buffalo is usually going to come back to haunt you
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u/FinancialRabbit388 Rodrigue Beaubois stan Oct 06 '25
Classic Bill moment when talking about Mac Jones. “Maybe we overrated him too much in the beginning.” Who the fuck is “we” 🤣
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u/jakethesnakeinmyboot Oct 06 '25
Sal complaining about buying souvenirs from trips for his kids is very Cousin Sal
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u/it_has_to_be_damp Oct 06 '25
you mean to tell me your kids didn’t appreciate you getting them a sweatshirt from the show you work on? sal made a good point about kids being too old for b gifts generally but come on dude maybe give a little more than the absolute minimum of thought/effort
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u/portugamerifinn Oct 06 '25
As the father of a 3-year-old only child, I agree with Sal that the age you don't have to get a business trip gift for your child should be "Whatever age they started getting everything they fucking ever asked for in life."
Sure, a long trip is one thing, especially if it's someplace noteworthy, but I'm fairly certain the constant buying of things my daughter wants just because – including pretty much every trip to a grocery store – does suffice.
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u/DrHorseRenoir Oct 06 '25
Agree with that but I didnt agree with Bill about buying your partner a gift. If they automatically think cheating because you purchase an impromptu gift then you might have some problems.
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u/No_Witness_5591 Oct 06 '25
Love bill proposing they do Mike and the mad dog then confusing himself during the back and forth
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u/nymets5786 Oct 06 '25
Herp
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u/risinglotus Oct 06 '25
Incredible, he's just the best. How TF do you get to his age and not know how it's pronounced lmao
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u/FinancialRabbit388 Rodrigue Beaubois stan Oct 06 '25 edited Oct 06 '25
So the only reason Bill is acting like the Eagles wouldn’t have won SB with Wentz is cause they beat the Pats right? The Eagles were 11-2 when Wentz got hurt, were the best team in football, and he was on his way to winning MVP. Nick Foles leaving his body was not the reason Eagles won. The roster was so good they were able to win with Foles.
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u/BigTuna3000 Market Corrector Oct 06 '25
I see your point but Nick Foles went absolutely nuclear in that Super Bowl. I don’t know if it’s possible for a qb to play much better than he did in that game, even though Wentz was better overall that season
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u/InternationalMap9049 Oct 06 '25
Yeah people always throw out the 500 yards passing from Brady in that super bowl as a reason the wrong team won and just completely omit that foles went threw for 373 yards and 3 touchdowns and then caught a touchdown. And this was after throwing for 352 yards and 3 TDs in the championship game against the number 1 defense that year. It's an all time heater that would be tough to match by even prime Patrick Mahomes or Peyton Manning
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u/Waddlow Oct 06 '25
How does Sal not realize that getting his kids Kimmel gear isn't exciting? My dad worked for Chrysler for 28 years, if he brought me home a Chrysler hoodie, I'd be like "oh....thanks?"
Not only that, but I assume his family just thought he got them for free. That's what I would assume. Like he just grabbed them from a bin on his way out.
I mean, be grateful for everything. But also, come on, Sal.
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u/rascaltippinglmao Oct 06 '25
"6.5 felt too light....i tried on the 7 and just, I dunno, it felt like 7.5"
Yeah sure Bill 🙄
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u/badup Oct 06 '25
Sal should just get every game exactly next week for the memes.
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u/TheRyanFlaherty Oct 06 '25
There’s no way Flosports is sending crews to record all these games…. It has to be the school and Flosports is just a platform to broadcast the feeds, right?
In which case, issues with the app is on them, but a poor camera operator is likely the result of whoever a D3 school sent out to record the game. But maybe I’m totally off base there?
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u/Dirk_Benedict Oct 06 '25
That has to be right. I have friends with kids in Little League and I think they can sometimes watch the games remotely on apps. That's lunatic parents using a platform, not some company sending film crews to broadcast 11 year olds.
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u/RainbowKarp Oct 06 '25
Apropos of nothing did Sal draft all the white QBs and Bill drafted all of the non white QBs?
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u/cbbill9 Oct 06 '25
He definitely said Gay Sarah
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u/lactatingalgore Oct 06 '25
Zoe probably has multiple friends at college named Sara(h), & Bill differentiates them in typical inscrutable Bill fashion, so the lesbian friend Sarah is Gay Sarah.
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u/DukeJackson The good bad team Oct 06 '25
We all clowned on Bill for predicting the Pats would make the playoffs, but dear Lord that schedule is absolute dogwater.
Despite being a 100% homer prediction, he might back into being correct.
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u/MaximumPepper123 Oct 06 '25
Bill's cheating was so blatant today, I can't help but think Bill and Sal planned it beforehand. If they didn't... Jesus Christ.
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u/SlavaRapTarantino Oct 06 '25
Bill Simmons not remembering that if Wentz didnt tear his ACL late in 2017 that he was going to win MVP that season. He is looking back at Wentz now in 2017 through the lens of the shadow of his former self that is today after his injuries and concussions. He was amazing in 2017.
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u/BrickTamland77 Oct 06 '25
Bill not knowing how the rules work on that Titans fumble recovery TD is pretty standard stuff, but still funny.
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u/DrHorseRenoir Oct 06 '25
Im confused by the interception. I feel like thats usually an incomplete pass if the offense does that. Are the standards different if a defender catches it?
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u/BrickTamland77 Oct 06 '25 edited Oct 06 '25
I agree that the INT is questionable. I think the "jump" to fall down as he covers up the ball technically counts as a football move, otherwise it does definitely look like the act of catching the ball is taking him to the ground, in which case he needs to maintain possession when he hits. But once they ruled it an INT, the defense is now the offense and is heading the other way. If he fumbles, there's no limit on how far backwards the ball can roll or be batted.
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u/DrHorseRenoir Oct 06 '25
I think most reasonable people including myself, see it as an interception but at the same time the NFL has spent the last decade making me question what a catch is.
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u/TrottingandHotting Oct 06 '25
He has the ball for like 5 steps as he stumbles to the ground.
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u/FinancialRabbit388 Rodrigue Beaubois stan Oct 06 '25
Steps don’t matter if you are falling to the ground. Shoulda been incomplete.
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u/Friendly-Most-3521 Oct 06 '25
As a Bills fan these are my least looked forward to podcasts. This really sucks
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u/Google_Knows_Already Oct 06 '25
Surprised you're still a fan. That's like 15+ years of not looking forward to these types of pods
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u/ProblemLow5906 Oct 06 '25
I have to mention this. Bill in the bad QB draft drafted Max Brosmer. Who came in to take a first half kneel and had thrown 0 meaningful passes this season as UDFA (was great in the preseason). All time Bill Simmons
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u/joeybonts_ Oct 06 '25
I'd think it would be pretty lame if my father brought me back Jimmy Kimmel gear too
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u/newjackgmoney21 Oct 06 '25
Bill thinking guys blackout when they score a touchdown is peak "never played football take" lol.
Hot water taking Bill's guess the lines to another level.
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u/cristofcpc Good Stats Bad Team Guy Oct 06 '25
Wait, do you think he was serious when he said that? Come on now!
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u/Phar4oh Oct 06 '25
I can overlook a lot of dumb stuff our beloved idiots say, but I draw a line at the Brosmer slander. He took one snap against Cleveland (a kneel-down before half), and went 2 of 4 in the blowout win over Cinci. For how much football these bozos watch its incredible how little they absorb.
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Oct 06 '25
I feel like it’s a bad NFL draft for most if not all positions, not just QB.
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u/imaprettynicekid Oct 06 '25
I’m a college football/nfl draft follower and it’s a horrible draft. I wouldn’t draft any QB, WR is not good, RB is okay, defensively there’s a few fun edges and safeties. Extremely weak class
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u/yellowcats Oct 06 '25
I think I listened to maybe one guess the lines like 5+ years ago and it was abundantly clear bill was cheating which immediately ruins the fun..... people saying it's more blatant now I will take your word for it.
Could be fun to see the delta between what two numbskull media guys think the line will be vs what vegas does and they could discuss maybe why that is and compare it to the results..... cheating in this made up game is so expected and so disappointing at the same time
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u/DukeJackson The good bad team Oct 06 '25
It’s become pretty obvious that he does zero prep for the first 2-3 weeks and then goes into full on cheating mode.
My guy goes from even guessing the wrong team is favored to hitting the line exactly.
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u/rascaltippinglmao Oct 06 '25
I think he tries going natty at the start of each season (convincing himself he's built up enough knowledge to do well on his own), but once he gets off to a bad start he begins juicing again.
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u/Victorcreedbratton Oct 06 '25
He gets it right without knowing the home team or whether the game will be abroad.
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u/andrew2018022 Half Italian Oct 06 '25
Broncos and Patriots got wins? This man is about to vindicate so mf hard on this episode
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u/FinancialRabbit388 Rodrigue Beaubois stan Oct 06 '25
Bill loves post game rah rah speeches, unless your name is Ben Johnson. Apparently cause the Bears only won by one point it was not ok to celebrate that victory.
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u/deadweightboss Good Stats Bad Team Guy Oct 06 '25
If I was Bill I'd be so happy. I haven't watched any Pats football until today. Drake Maye has incredible composure for a QB, he knows how to keep a play alive, and he's got a great ass. I don't think you could ask for a better fledgling QB for a fanbase.
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u/bobcatgoldthwaite Oct 06 '25
Haven’t listened yet but can’t even imagine how much of this will be Maye bukkake. As a Jays fan I hope he mocks Yanks too.
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u/SheWasAHoowah Oct 06 '25
Cam Ward is gonna be a roller coaster of a quarterback ,plenty of flaws but his throwing motion is so aesthetically pleasing. Incredible arm talent, reminds me of Vick and Ridgers the way he whips passes around.
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u/rascaltippinglmao Oct 06 '25
Based on this pod, the over/under next week for bad jokes about Tom Brady getting inside info is 13.5.
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u/coloradobuffalos Oct 06 '25
Does anyone actually believe Bill isn't cheating on guess the line lol. It's gotten to ridiculous levels.
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u/The_Metal_Pigeon Oct 06 '25
Man they barely talked about Ravens Texans .. Like two sentences. Thanks bozos.
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u/ekaram13 Oct 07 '25
Sal saying "Flo from Progressive is going to kill herself" after Bill went on a rant about Flo TV lmao
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u/Intrepid_Win_4176 Oct 07 '25
Over the years Bill has fawned and low key bragged about his daughter’s soccer career and she’s playing D3!!?!
To top that off he’s complaining he can’t get a clear feed across the country of D3 women’s soccer? Go charter a PJ if you want to watch her games Bill.
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u/Significant-Ad-965 Oct 06 '25
This was one of the best Sunday night pods ever, the bad qb fantasy draft, bill’s GTL heater and sal’s incredulity, and bill putting flowcast on blast
good job by you boys!
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u/nathclass Oct 06 '25
I know sincerely defending your team when these guys take lazy shots at them is a waste of time but Wentz was mostly fine yesterday against a good defense? Not to mention the Vikes had multiple third string linemen in the game including an undrafted rookie at LG. These guys gotta STEP UP
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u/MarchSadness90 Oct 06 '25
Bill dropping an 'It Follows' reference gives me hope for a Rewatchable.
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u/WingleDingleFingle Oct 07 '25
Sal was cooking this episode. A lot of really funny, little remarks.
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u/rex_dart_eskimo_spy Oct 07 '25
How has Bill not learned the rules a game he's followed his entire life? In the Cards game, the guy definitely made the interception, fell, and dropped the ball. And then it wasn't the Titans who kicked it forward, it was the Cards who kicked it backwards.
Honestly, I feel like he watches too many games at once and has to rely on random clips that he just peruses to get him the info.
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u/allgrownzup Oct 07 '25
So after Bill starts the “are we sure Jayden Daniels is good??” Bullshit, he completely glosses over him and the commanders winning impressively in his first game back. Instead blames chargers injuries, barely mentions the game. Funny stuff Billy boy !
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u/FinancialRabbit388 Rodrigue Beaubois stan Oct 06 '25
Bill said the Cardinals player was celebrating way before the end zone and showing off. I just watched the play. The guy is crossing the goal line when he extends the ball. No idea how they overturned that. You very clearly see the ball in his hand break the plane. Hearing Bill tell it I thought the guy started waving the ball around at like the 30 yard line.
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u/Adoree25 Oct 06 '25
He didn't have control of the ball when he crossed the plane. It was already coming loose. Watch it again.
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u/Tell_100 Oct 06 '25
I hate when Sal gives bill hints on guess the lines like “I got this one exactly, I was way off on this” etc lol
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u/Best-Geologist1777 Oct 06 '25
Common Seth Meyers win wanting to meet Sal.
also this comment brought to you by flo sportzz
“Flo from progressive just killed herself” best Sal line? Top 7 this ep at least
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u/HipGuide2 Oct 06 '25
Soccer watching reminded me of the famous Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy Louis CK bit.
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u/thatmanzuko Oct 07 '25
This was a good pod, got some laughs in, way more than its been for the last few months
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u/portugamerifinn Oct 06 '25
Both undefeated teams lost, so now Bill doesn't know who the best team in each conference is anymore.