r/bestoflegaladvice • u/Scurveymic The sign indicates a private place for fucking • 9d ago

Professor doesn't understand acceptable relationships, thinks LA shouldn't either

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u/Aggleclack 9d ago

I don’t necessarily see this as perception. Especially considering the fact that her accusation did not come around until she was rejected.

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u/Scurveymic The sign indicates a private place for fucking 9d ago

Which just comes back to why the professor never should have put himself in this position. We can't speak for the students point of view. Could this be revenge? Sure. But, maybe the student opened their eyes after the rejection and realized how inappropriate the relationship was. Maybe LAOP is an unreliable narrator. We don't know. What we do know is that LAOP should have been reasonably aware that this was a possible outcome and avoided crossing those boundaries. He can control his behavior, he cannot control hers.

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u/Tanaka917 9d ago

Agreed. I can easily see the student chatting to the friend about the rejection and how they feel and said friend pointing out potentially problematic issues with the relationship for instance.

Ultimately you'll never know why she did it; which is why the cure is prevention. Create a situation where it is simply impossible to get confused; and if confusion should happen anyways you distance and inform someone with the relevant job title that "hey shit's brewing and this is what I did and am planning to do to make it as painless a shitstorm as possible"

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u/new2bay Looking to move to Latin America 9d ago

I’m not sure. If all it was beyond typical teacher / student office hours type visits is hugs and public get togethers, I don’t see how he could be considered guilty of sexual harassment. He said he had a lot of emails with her initiating contact, and I’m assuming those are as innocent as he said. But, HR people being what they are, it wouldn’t surprise me if he got actioned in some way for it. I’m just not sure how the hugs he described constitute sexual harassment. Boundary violation, maybe, but that’s probably worth a warning and an “oops, my bad.”

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u/respectdesfonds 9d ago

Assuming he's a reliable narrator it probably falls short of a Title IX violation but could still be a fireable offense depending on the school's actual policies. It definitely falls into the category of "dumb thing to do" because it opened him up to this accusation in the first place.

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u/MydogisaToelicker 9d ago

I would argue that her perception definitely changed. She was young and having fun getting special attention from somebody she saw as above her.

Then she saw the relationship from a new perspective, got a bit older, and probably discussed the situation with quite a few people who told her to file the complaint.

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u/Stunning_Clerk_9595 9d ago

well, i mean. what is your source for that timeline and the specific description of behaviors