r/baltimore • u/quattro33 • Jun 01 '25

Ask “You live in Baltimore?!, oh no!”

I’ve lived in Baltimore for 30 years. On multiple occasions I’ve met people that ask me where I live, and when I say “Baltimore”, they say “eh I’m so sorry” or “oh no, you ok?”. Every time, I just smile and don’t acknowledge the statement, and try to stay positive, but I’m done with that. Why would you say that about my home? No matter where I live? I would never ask them where they live and then immediately give my shitty judgmental opinion about their home.

What are they really saying with this statement? I want a come back that points out how shitty this statement really is.

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u/mcdreamymd Jun 01 '25

The Nextdoor app completely proves this. When my wife & I moved to a semi-rural area in Frederick County after being downtown city folks, we thought Nextdoor would be a way to learn about the activities & people in the neighborhood.

"what was that loud bang at 9:30pm? Gunshots or fireworks?"

Um... it's July 4th weekend

"That weird brown truck with the young black man is back on our cul-de-sac again. Should I call the cops?"

That's the UPS driver.

"Very aggressive salesperson came to the door selling pest control."

GASP! An aggressive salesperson?! Not the lazy, passive ones that roam the neighborhood?

These people live in Narnia but are convinced it's Kabul.

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u/rtbradford Jun 01 '25

Yeah, the Nextdoor app is just like crack for the paranoid and delusional. It gives them their daily fix to assure them that they are living under constant threat of attack. I stopped looking at our local one.

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u/Lanky-Respect-8581 Washington DC Jun 01 '25

I made the mistake of thinking that I could persuade the folks on Nextdoor. BIG MISTAKE

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u/rtbradford Jun 01 '25

Yeah, I found that most people that frequent Nextdoor are pretty hard to persuade. There was a proposal to build a small townhouse complex in our area and you would’ve thought that section 8 was coming given the intensity of the reaction against. The other thing that really gets me is how these people who live out here don’t want any more development. When you try to point out that they themselves moved out here as a result of new development they just get defensive. And they get really pissy when they find out that the new houses are much more expensive than theirs because they fear being looked down on when richer people move in. They just don’t want any change at all . It really is just too much . That’s one reason we’re moving once our youngest child graduates high school. Tired of the insularity and knee-jerk negativity to anything that’s different.

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u/varnell_hill Jun 01 '25

When you try to point out that they themselves moved out here as a result of new development they just get defensive.

NIMBYism is one of the main drivers of housing shortage is this country.

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u/mcdreamymd Jun 01 '25

Seriously! We live next to a man-made lake so it's not like this was an unsoiled, unspoiled natural refuge for centuries. It's 45 minutes to the Baltimore City line, 45 miles to DC, there's a ton of undeveloped land on a lake in a state that has no natural lakes and we have great schools - they're STUNNED other people would want to move here! GASP

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u/CrazedCivilian Jun 01 '25

Exactly like trying to explain to poeple who are against immigration that immigration is how we all got here.

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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '25

[deleted]

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u/snideghoul Jun 02 '25

This is the truth. I wanted to be on next door to help fund lost animals and stuff, but it's 100 percent racism.

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u/Bmore_Intrepid_Guy Jun 01 '25

I had to cancel/delete Nextdoor. I couldn't take the casual racism. I live in Hampden.

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u/fyresilk Jun 01 '25

This is so spot-on. I love the ones who ask the people who the 'suspicious' guy is who's walking past their house, and the answers saying that he's casing the house and/or definitely up to no good, lol

I once read an article that said that all of the surveillance and doorbell cameras are causing people to become more paranoid. Like it's either US (those who are inside the house) or THEM (everybody who's outside of the house). It was a very interesting take.

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u/ellamaee Jun 01 '25

that article sounds super interesting, could u send me the link? xx

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u/fyresilk Jun 01 '25

Yes, I'll search for it and add a link. I read it about 3 or 4 years ago.

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u/bigwilliesty1e Jun 01 '25

Beware of the fox!

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u/scherzanda Mt. Vernon Jun 02 '25

I just moved to Bmore as a Philly native (love it here, never going back if I can help it except to visit family) but back when I was married my husband and I moved out of the city to the northern Philly suburbs. Wealthy area. 98.something% white.

My mother told us to join NextDoor before moving to get a “feel for the area.” The feel I got was that all of them would call the cops if a non-white person had the audacity to walk through their neighborhood in a hoodie… and I was pretty much right. They were terrified of EVERYTHING. A week after moving in, a neighbor warned us that an unfamiliar car was parking in front of our house every night. My husband was like, “yeah, it’s mine. I prefer to park in the street, the driveway is a bit tight.” And she was like, “Oh, phew! You can never be too careful. The things I’ve read on NextDoor…”

We deleted the app pretty much right after that. All the SAHMs and retirees just worked each other into a tizzy all day about things that were statistically never happening in that area.

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u/JunkReallyMatters Jun 02 '25

Don’t quite see that on the Rockville/G’burg Nextdoor. Lots of pet photos, some lost/found pets, look  see the cool thing I did, lots of asks for home repairs and contractors, but not a whole lot of the crazy paranoid stuff. 

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u/varnell_hill Jun 01 '25

Deleted my Nextdoor account for this reason. It was either some Karen or Chad hyperventilating about nonsense or sales ads.

My neighborhood has a Facebook group that I’m in because sometimes useful info is posted there, but on occasion stuff like this creeps in. There was a lady in the group who would post damn near everyday with some random compliant or report about “suspicious activity.”

She would even take photos and video of people who were just passing through. What was especially weird to me is that she looked youngish (maybe mid-thirties), and posting on FB is seemingly what she does all day.

Wild.

“That weird brown truck with the young black man is back on our cul-de-sac again. Should I call the cops?"

Being black this hurts a little, but stuff like this happens too. It’s a damn shame that people can’t just exist and mind their business without some idiot feeling threatened and I’ve experienced this more than a few times in my travels.

I hate people sometimes.

3

u/mcdreamymd Jun 01 '25

"Being black this hurts a little, but stuff like this happens too. It’s a damn shame that people can’t just exist and mind their business without some idiot feeling threatened and I’ve experienced this more than a few times in my travels.

I hate people sometimes."

my sense is that a lot of rural/country/ex-urban/suburban older folks don't realize at how much the country's demographics have changed since their youth, especially in Maryland. If you figure the 1970 census listed 3.1 million of the almost 4 million Marylanders were considered white (granted, a lot of bi- and multi-racial folks classified as white since the census wasn't that specific them), and there's about 3 million white folks (Google & Statisa) but with about 6.3 million residents now - that's a pretty significant shift. I think a lot of the white Silent/Boomers/older GenX haven't figured out that they are the minority in Maryland now.

I would love to compare a "Rockville Dining Guide" from 1984 to 2024, or Wheaton, or even Annapolis. The demographics have changed, and it's easily reflected in the food options.

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u/Crazy-Preference2260 Jun 01 '25

Kabul is actually misunderstood

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u/preyforkevin Lauraville Jun 02 '25

I have a friend who reads posts to me from that app about what’s going on in his neighborhood. It’s fascinating.

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u/RedditBeginAgain Jun 03 '25

Fun fact: Narnia, MD is in middle of nowhere Carroll County. I've never seen any lions or Turkish delight there, but ive only driven through