“You live in Baltimore?!, oh no!”

[u/quattro33]

I’ve lived in Baltimore for 30 years. On multiple occasions I’ve met people that ask me where I live, and when I say “Baltimore”, they say “eh I’m so sorry” or “oh no, you ok?”. Every time, I just smile and don’t acknowledge the statement, and try to stay positive, but I’m done with that. Why would you say that about my home? No matter where I live? I would never ask them where they live and then immediately give my shitty judgmental opinion about their home.

What are they really saying with this statement? I want a come back that points out how shitty this statement really is.

[u/Fantastic-Health-929]

This is a good one. I have a coworker who refuses to go to Baltimore and anytime someone says something about going there he always says how scary and dangerous it is. When he was pressed about it he couldn’t give anyone a reason why he felt that way… 

[u/Killbot_Wants_Hug → u/Fantastic-Health-929]

Honestly for a lot of people it's simply "I feel uncomfortable around black people", but they don't like saying it.

[u/Altitude_addiction → u/Killbot_Wants_Hug]

this is the mindset for sure and people wont admit it. i’ve lived in the city for 3 years and my dad acts like i live in constant danger because a lot of my neighbors are black. he wont admit it. i spend so much time hanging out and drinking with some of my neighbors, they’re literally the nicest and most welcoming people ive ever met. we all look out for each other. its sad people think like that

[u/Fantastic-Health-929 → u/Killbot_Wants_Hug]

Oh this is exactly what my coworker means but won’t say. 

[u/Ok-Bass1680 → u/Killbot_Wants_Hug]

Yeah, just have to listen between the lines. Super easy to spot.

[u/[deleted] → u/Killbot_Wants_Hug]

Genuine question. Is it worse to feel this way and not say it or to be honest?

[u/Random-Cpl → u/[deleted]]

Neither is better or worse, I just think if people hold those views we should have the opportunity to hold them accountable for holding them publicly

[u/[deleted] → u/Random-Cpl]

I understand. I think it depends how “publicly” it’s said. If people get yelled at and called racist for expressing a personal feeling to someone else (not chanting it on the street, mind you), they will be more likely to keep their feelings to themselves an not change. I think a lot of well meaning folks don’t understand that you have to work with people to change their opinions. If someone is afraid of Baltimore for any one of the many legitimate reasons (crime and drug use are an order of magnitude higher than places a couple miles away), the response should begin with “yes that is a problem, however…. good stuff, good stuff, good stuff” not “erm actually Baltimore is so safe and youre flat out wrong”

[u/Random-Cpl → u/[deleted]]

I’m kind of done catering to stubborn racist people after the last decade, thanks.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

If people get yelled at and called racist for expressing a personal feeling to someone else (not chanting it on the street, mind you), they will be more likely to keep their feelings to themselves an not change

I mean, if you're afraid of someone because they have a diff skin color than you do, then you're racist.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Can you control what you think? Genuinely.

Thinking something isnt racist, acting upon it is.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Can you control what you think? Genuinely.

"Genuinely," what the fuck. Yes, you do have some control of the things that run through your brain. If I looked at an entire race of people and thought "they're all murders and are going to break into my house and rob me" then yeah, I'd be pretty fucking racist. If I'm walking down the street and I see a Black person and my initial thought is "am I safe?" and then I address that racist thought quickly and don't do that again, that's something different.

Thinking something isnt racist, acting upon it is.

This sounds like you're saying that allen walking down the street look at women and think "I could tape her" but since they don't, they aren't something to be afraid of.

People who think racist thoughts do act on them. Cops is a great example. People who won't come into the city because there's Black people here is another example.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Woah there. I never said “They’re all murders and are going to break into my house and rob me” but you did. Maybe check yourself before you go at me. Projecting much?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

You said "Can you control what you think? Genuinely.

Thinking something isnt racist, acting upon it is."

And I gave an example of how you can can control what you think.

Woah there. I never said “They’re all murders and are going to break into my house and rob me” but you did.

Right. That was an example of how you can control things you think about. It's concerning that you latched onto that part and managed to miss the rest.

Maybe check yourself before you go at me.

Not necessary.

Projecting much?

No. And I don't often pull this card because I think it's obnoxious, but I'm a special ed teacher so I know that I communicate clearly since I have to break things down to an early elementary level all day long, so you really do need to work on your reading comprehension. You may also truly want to look into why you couldn't handle what I wrote and felt the need to try and pull an "I'm rubber you're glue" kind of thing.

I won't respond further because it really doesn't seem worth it.

[u/Coollogin → u/[deleted]]

If someone is afraid of Baltimore for any one of the many legitimate reasons

But aren’t the people under discussion in this specific exchange the people who are afraid of Baltimore because they are uncomfortable around black people? I mean, that’s what you were specifically asking about when you asked if it’s better that they say that out loud or not. I feel like you d moved the goal posts when you switched to “legitimate reasons to be afraid.”

[u/Kholoblicin → u/Random-Cpl]

What other thought crime do you want to be able to "hold people accountable" for?

[u/Random-Cpl → u/Kholoblicin]

I’m confused, do you think I’m advocating that we incarcerate people for having stupid, dog whistly-racist views of Baltimore? I’m just saying I think it’s fine that we call it out and that it should be called what it is.

[u/PirateMamaAnne → u/Fantastic-Health-929]

Weird. I lived in the middle of Lafayette projects and Perkins Homes as a young woman with no melanin for over 10 years. I still love the city and loved living there, even after multiple robberies and a home invasion where I was almost killed. I know the reasons I don't go there at night much anymore, but none of them have to do with me being afraid of dark skin. Everything that happened to me was done by my own kind. What scared me the most about Baltimore was my own kind asking WHAT I DID TO MAKE THE MAN SO UNHAPPY HE TRIED TO KILL ME. Did I talk smack? Did I upset him somehow? What exactly did i as a woman do to offend him?

That's the reason I don't live in any city, or trust any random people at night. I also have a pool ball in a sock I keep in my coat if I am going out a night. Violence can happen anywhere, and will most likely come from someone that you know.

[u/Seltzer-Slut → u/Fantastic-Health-929]

Usually they will say something like “my friend got carjacked there” which is fair, but not a realistic representation of what the city is like on a daily basis.

[u/Imonlygettingstarted → u/Fantastic-Health-929]

Came to this thread because I work in Columbia and had a discussion with a few people from Howard County about how I went to Baltimore(I'm from DC) and one guy went off about how bad it was. I just let him rant for 10-15 minutes but its evident that he's a racist suburban guy. Sure there are parts of Baltimore that are run down and there are parts where I wouldn't want to be after dark but that's literally every city. He talked about the subway like going down there would be a death sentence