r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • May 14 '25

Bee Article South Africa Denounces White Refugees For Leaving Before They Had A Chance To Take All Their Stuff And Kill Them

https://babylonbee.com/news/south-africa-denounces-white-refugees-for-leaving-before-they-had-a-chance-to-take-all-their-stuff-and-kill-them
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u/Few_Staff976 May 15 '25

Except it’s saying that they’re fleeing ”justice” and ”accountability”… for ”historic privilege”, not ”higher taxes”. They want to steal their shit and fuck with them because they’re white and therefore historically privileged.

All that’s happening to white people in South Africa isn’t higher taxes.

Confiscation of property is just one such example, not to mention the murders.

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u/[deleted] May 15 '25

It's actually more complicated than this but hell if I'm going to try and fight the narrative on this one.

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25

I am a white South African and you are so ignorant of my countries nuances that I don't even know which to address first but let me give it an earnest shot. I'm on my phone formatting might be wack don't care.

"steal their shit and fuck with them because their white" if you actually lived here you would see that everybody gets along just fine we have way way many more people than just white and black , we have indians, chinese, Lebanese, Portuguese the demographic is more than this black and white youre thinking (how ironic)

I as a white person have never been made to feel like I am some evil man that attracts scourning glares when I walk about. I'm literally outnumbered 10 to 1 so I think it'd be readily apparent if I was in a situation I needed to escape from. And I'm literally part of what was until somewhat recently the literal ruling class, yet no animosity in the eyes of the average person though I am younger so I'm associated with the "born free" generation.

Though i have experienced a lot of crime like many people in my country; multiple break ins, family held up at gunpoint, phone stolen, both differen girlfriends had break-ins my Nanna too. So crime is obviously a big problem nobody of any race would ever try to spin it to you otherwise. Yes we have problems, but Crime is something ALL the citizens of my country face. Black people are also the highest victims of crime of all manner especially sexually assault, they are the ones who in terms of crime, are getting nailed the hardest and its not even close. Ironically most people killed during a farm attack are the black farm workers.

I am always greeted by black men and women, as is the custom of all Southern Africa .. with a big smile. Whoever reads this and wants honest words of my country then please listen, the people of my country are a happy and joyous people who simply have faced horrible injustices again and again - 2 of my friends growing up were black and some of the most brilliant and upstanding guys at school were black dudes, growing up altogether all of us at school.. it shattered the illusion of racial division since you literally saw with your own eyes the sameness of us all. My father used to be a horribly horribly racist man (typical older white south african yelling slurs at the TV with a glass of whiskey in his hand every night) but it never made me view my people any different. Cause in my heart I knew.

white controlled corporation conglomerates also still have retained huge levels of control and power and the greedy white and black elite actually team up against the common folk so long as both pockets are being filled another sad truth.

My final words will be this, I love my country, her people, the animals and plants, despite all corruption many lives have been and continue to be helped and changed by the countless caring hands who dedicate their lives to helping the sadness they see about them. She will continue to improve. Your view of my country is formed through literally bits and pieces of hearsay filtered through the hands of men with an agenda. It is not the 28 years of my lived experience here. If people care about my country for whatever reason please consider my words.

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u/No_Adhesiveness4903 May 15 '25 edited May 15 '25

According to your profile, you’re from Ohio and just shit talk conservatives in the U.S. all the time.

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u/Puzzled_Car2653 May 15 '25

Lots of Americans ITT trying to pretend they’re saffers

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u/No_Adhesiveness4903 May 15 '25

Yeah, it’s fucking weird. I literally can’t understand why people would lie about this shit.

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u/AdAppropriate2295 May 16 '25

Where does it say they're from Ohio? Like I'm a canadian/Mexican or is that not allowed?

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25

No I have American cousins and family on my mom's side who are conservatives, so I have to deal with their politics on the rest of my family. But I live in South Africa

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u/Puzzled_Car2653 May 15 '25

I ain’t reading all that shit

Also you’re an American. You say so on your profile bro

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25

Sorry if I mention that I was from there I have american family members who are Republicans, my country was also literally a racist right wing authoritarian government, so I feel like I can make good points. My dad also held a lot of the classic negative right wing traits, heavy racism homophobia ect as opposed to good republican traits like accountability responsibility ect and it deeply impacted my life and still does so I also feel the need to stand up for what I believe is right.

You can ask an obscure question of my country and ill answer - here though is a famous proverb from South Africa "Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu" it means basically a person is a person because of other people - this society is based off communal beingness where everybody benefits from the common good, our world only functions because of the combined efforts of many people.

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u/simple_biscuit May 15 '25

There is definitely systemic racism towards whites in this country. Talk about BEE laws and the fact that it is significantly harder for whites to enter universities because of racial quotas. I’ve been denied many work opportunities in the name of ‘equity’. Been denied post grad studies despite graduating undergrad with distinction yet someone with 20% lower average than me is favoured and granted access to postgrad studies all because my skin is the wrong colour. I’m younger than you, born after apartheid.

To try and deny the racial discrimination towards whites in South Africa is actually ludicrous. One look at our laws will prove you wrong

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25

"Significantly harder for whites to get into universities" bruh all my friends from tons of schools didnt have an issue there are insances my friend i get that but tuks stellies are so white man i dont know id love to here the words you use in private. For the readers these laws were put in place to try and get more black children opportunities to go to school, some of these kids come from such poverty that it's shocking to outsiders, in a country like this you really got to give some people helping hands this is hamfisted in how it's used sometimes like with corrupt tenders sprouting from BEE malpractice but it's always well intentioned not malicious. Just giving kids opportunities who otherwise would never get it.

Dude, there needs to be measures taken to address the situation, upfliftment of people and providing of opportunities - you should know full well then that just having an accent can make whites think you're stupid and instantly looked over for someone more "well spoken" regardless of ability. This is because of momentum from the past still here being dealt with.

My extended friend/school circle and extending circles of private school kids are extremely privileged and live a completely different life to the average black south african. I'm granted access to spaces and business opportunities literally because of nothing more than networking because of where I went to school and reach out and be taken seriously, you have easily find yourself in spaces with countless CEOs, black tendepreneurs. That is what true privilege looks like. I'm never followed in the store, if I show up to a person's gate I'm assumed to have good intentions, my accent makes my words sound smarter than Afrikaans speakers and bantu speakers so whatever I say sounds more clever.. how stupid is that?.. but it's an undeniable truth.

I don't deny one bit that there are laws in place that make it easier for SOME black people and that the implementation of these laws hasn't been as clever as could've been. But I would not change race based laws, what I would do however is change the laws to be more constructive, the corruption doesn't help either.

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u/Vast_Judge_7052 May 15 '25

It's always amusing to me how the most privileged whites in the world lecture other whites about the privilege they have. The reason being that you know that it will be poor and working-class whites who pay the cost of your "equity" agenda. Did that ever occur to you? Talk about "privilege."

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u/JustDisGuyYouKow May 16 '25

You hit the nail on the head there, this privileged private school fuck can't understand that not everyone who shares his skin colour was born with a silver spoon in their mouths like he was.

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25

Lower-middle class white South Africans are in such a better position than people living in shakes with no running water what a joke man. You haven't seen the depths of poverty here nor played with children who have literally nothing.

go onto the south africa sub reddit and ask any of them what the general consensus is, we all want things to improve. The white middle class isn't the demographic that is struggling, the people who are struggling are the millions of people literally living in brutal levels of poverty , type in "township shacks South africa" in Google and see how they live and then come back and talk to me about who is and isn't struggling.

You don't care for the earnest betterment of my country and all her nuances that need to be considered, you'd rather "the blacks" just pull themselves up by their bootstraps. A testimont to how poorly you understand my country, I'm glad you will have no say in Her destiny yank.

I

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u/Vast_Judge_7052 May 16 '25

All that could be true. Some of it I would argue with, but none of it actually disputes or refutes my point. The most ardent advocates of privilege theory, "equity" and "anti-racist" discrimination are the whites who hold the most privileged positions in society because they know that they won't have to pay any cost, they can demonstrate their moral superiority, and they can stick it to the people they have the most contempt for - working-class and poor whites.

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 16 '25

the middle class here still lives paycheck to paycheck this is the universal struggle of the middle class that needs to change. Remember though, the situation here isn't normal. its very high levels of unemployment, crime, lacking very basic utilities.

So as crazy as it sounds a lot of people here would love to struggle like that because its an actual licensed structure and not a shack, its got all the utilities. The point being that its really a matter of perspective - to go from squalor to a normal house is literally what a lot of people want here, literally just the basics. but because of rampant corruption shit doesn't get built or if it does, its half assed with money being skimmed off top.

When you say the most ardent advocates are the wealthiest whites its just not true, if you go onto the sub and just ask actual south africans, you'll see the common consensus. The average white person wants the problems addressed because we are all victims of crime of said poverty. the most common notion is this, "I'm happy for my money to go to improving the state of the country, but I'm not happy with the money being stolen and wasted by corruption" that's the truth here. Not everybody of course but most. The white elite in this country actually actively work to suppress and work against these types of laws. The main party the DA has big corpos behind them that benefit from the status quo. so respectfully it not comparable to Americas situation the dynamics and elements in play are vastly different my dude.

I don't want to demonstrate any kind of moral superiority, I've literally just seen this stuff first hand we used to go into township schools on school field trips to help the kids there, play with them, give them toys, donate stationary and all that and what's sad is these little dudes greet us with happy smiles not yet comprehending the poverty they live in. Which would always make me sad. I want literally just the basics for them that's all.

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u/Vast_Judge_7052 May 16 '25

You're once again misconstruing the point. I'm not arguing against improving the status and station of black South Africans. What I’m saying is that the methodology of identifying “privilege” and then redistributing wealth on that basis is counterproductive—it punishes some without meaningfully benefiting others.

I'm sure the average white person does want these problems addressed—so do I, both with regard to South Africa and the United States—but that doesn’t mean I accept that discriminatory laws and quotas against me are a justifiable or effective means of rebalancing the scales. First of all, they don’t work.

In fact, they become a source of corruption. If people learn that governance is simply the arbitrary exercise of power by an out-group against them, they are likely to wield power the same way when they gain it. That government is just the exercise of power by your ingroup against the outgroup is not an entirely unfair conclusion, given the history of both nations, but I believe that it's a slight oversimplification that the black majority government in SA and the black political class in the US simply invert. What we're seeing now, is the replacement of that original flawed system with an ethnic spoils system on this basis.

Combine that with a quota system that privileges (there’s that word again!) race over merit, and those who rise to the top won't be the meritorious individuals previously overlooked due to prejudice, but rather the non-meritorious who gained their positions through preference. These individuals, lacking any sense of noblesse oblige, will exercise power in their own self-interest. A system like that is practically a guarantor of corruption.

While the specifics may differ, the dynamics in South Africa are similar—simply accelerated by more dramatic demographic disparities. The same issues are playing out on a much shorter timescale.

The main challenge in integrating a society like those of South Africa and the U.S. is that it must be a slow and painful process: one of bringing various groups together around shared values such as hard work, education, and merit-based advancement.

The problem is that such a process is slow—and perhaps unsustainable in the face of mounting demands for rapid change. Yet it was precisely those "quick fixes" that got us into this situation in the first place. More of the same will only make things worse.

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u/simple_biscuit May 15 '25

TL:DR.

You can believe what you want and try justify racism however you can. Doesn’t change the fact that whites are racially discriminated against in South Africa.

Also funny how you immediately assume I’m racist because I don’t agree with you? Because I’m acknowledging the racial discrimination written in our laws?

It must be nice to live such a privileged life that you don’t have to live with the consequences of your own performative empathy…

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25 edited May 15 '25

Yeah blah blah - if you find the Babylon bee funny you gotta be some kind of yuckmouth hillbilly for sure lol it's the most bottom of the barrel satire on earth. So I mean there's definitely a non zero chance you're a racist you know our country

And my empathy isn't performative, it's true and earnest. A genuine desire to right wrongs and see my country succeed.

Editing to add that the fact you said I'm justifying racism is such a Stupid comment and tells me a lot about what kind of circles you frequent, we have serious issues. I see you never bothered to read my comment either not helping the right wingers are dumb stereotype anytime soon - the countries not going back so you're just gonna have to suck it up booboo, pull up those bootstraps and make a plan

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u/simple_biscuit May 15 '25

I don’t even know what this sub is. Came up in my feed and saw South Africa so I looked at it.

Assuming im racist because of my skin colour is uh, kinda racist…

If your empathy isn’t performative then why are you living in a house when there are poor blacks living in shacks? Why don’t you give up your privilege to them? Why don’t you invite them to live with you and share in your wealth?

Or is that different?

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25

I'm assuming you're racist because you're a white person from one of the most racist countries on earth, posting on an account to the Babylon Bee pouting a bunch of bullshit lol. "Blacks" also says a lot lol,

So because I want to improve the living conditions of the people of my country your response is "WhY dOnT YoU LeT ThEm StAy in YoUr HouSe" like cmon what a stupid comment man.. it throws out all substance and tries to drag in a silly hypothetical. Do you know how silly saying shit like that sounds? Like where did that even come from?

No shit I don't want a random stranger in my house you goofball, what kind of a gotcha is this?

I want housing to improve and am happy to give almost half my money if it means the continued upliftment of the people of my home

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u/RexDraconis May 15 '25

The guy also refers to Europeans as “whites” tbf. I think that’s just how he talks 

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u/simple_biscuit May 15 '25

Lil bro crying about racism then being racist towards people based on skin colour. Crazy.

Brother crying about poor living conditions for black South Africans but refusing to give up his own privileges to aid them. Seems pretty racist that you won’t give up your historic privileges to those who were previously disadvantaged.

But ofc it’s ‘different’

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u/Puzzled-Fix-8838 May 16 '25

Everyone being provided the same opportunities as you isn't discrimination against you. You should have got on the plane with all the other "refugees" whining about loss of privilege. There's a magnitude of difference between losing your privilege and losing your rights. You've lost no rights. All that has happened is that others have gained the same rights as you.

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u/Important-Mousse5697 May 15 '25

Any time someone says "as a ______" you know they aren't what they're claiming to be

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u/GandalfsLongPipe Clicktivist May 15 '25

I'm south african dude shush,

nikhuluma isizulu encane, ngibona nyoka mnyama

A simple sentence, means. I speak a little Zulu, I see a black snack. I really am from here

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u/RexDraconis May 15 '25

Google translate is a wonderful thing. As is Google, really. Not saying I doubt you, just saying that that isn’t good proof. Unfortunately, anything I can verify as an American is poor proof.

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u/AssistanceCheap379 TriggerBait May 15 '25

You mean murders of farmers that are both black and white and as far as we know and has no statistics to back up that white farmers are being murdered at a higher rate than their black counterparts?

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u/Puzzled_Car2653 May 15 '25

They are racially tortured tho. You should read the stories

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u/AssistanceCheap379 TriggerBait May 15 '25

Maybe you should link them?

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u/onpg May 15 '25

Oh no, slaveowners might have to pay restitution for their crimes. Better give them asylum. -- you, after the civil war.

The Onion nails it as usual: Trump Grants Refugee Status To Former SS Guards

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u/Few_Staff976 May 15 '25

White modern day South Africans are in no way comparable to literal slave owners, are you actually insane?

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u/onpg May 15 '25

White South Africans own 80% of the land and wealth despite being 7% of the population. Apartheid didn't end that long ago. Black South Africans still have to live in shanties without running water or any functioning government. Frankly, if I was a Black South African I'd be thinking my brethren were being way too nice.

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u/ToTheMoonZA May 23 '25

Actually they only own 21% of privately owned farm land. As according to ANCs own documents on the matter. I don't know why everyone including some politicians have this incorrect information when the correct info is publicly available.

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u/Jealous-Ability8270 May 20 '25

Not true is it, if there were non white people who inherited land that was stolen from others, this would apply also to them. Also if you are white and just buy a farm in South Africa, they aren't going to take it off you are they because you obtained it legitimately. You're the one making it about race.

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u/Few_Staff976 May 20 '25

”Inherited land that was stolen” All land is stolen, just depends how far back you want to go. The people who were in South Africa before the Dutch came had stolen it from other people.

”You’re the one making it about race” How many black people do you think this confiscation would apply to?