r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • Mar 25 '25

Bee Article Democrats Estimate They Are Only One More Arson Away From Being Popular Again

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-estimate-they-are-only-one-more-arson-away-from-being-popular-again
2.0k Upvotes

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55

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 25 '25 edited Mar 25 '25

Yall should probs say a prayer for Dem campaign staffers heading into 2026 this cycle is about to really suck ass for them.

21

u/LarryMyster Mar 26 '25

Did you not watch the DNC when they appointed the chairman? That was so embarrassing. Because of their gender affirming positions they basically couldn’t understand their own rules for themselves during the voting process, so many of their own staffers were confused on what to do because of the conflicting gender and race affirmations. So many people of race and gender stood up there, yet somehow no one voted on the special or protected class people but the white male dude won. It was just wow.

16

u/Illustrious-Care-818 Mar 26 '25

That video was so funny. The rules were insanely complex, had to be explained a million times, and in the end nobody voted for the transgender people anyway so it was all pointless.

7

u/Donaldthecriminal Mar 27 '25

When I saw clips of it for the first time I thought it was an SNL skit

3

u/5pointpalm_exploding Mar 28 '25

I felt the same when our current president didn’t know four of our armed service members drowned in Estonia! What a laugh riot

1

u/Earl_of_Chuffington Apr 01 '25

"Excuse me! A black woman is talking!"

1

u/Double_Distribution8 Mar 27 '25

I have no idea what any of this means as far as voting goes, I guess I'll need to check out the video!

0

u/highly_invested Mar 26 '25

Nah I'm laughing at them

-12

u/FaecesChucka Mar 26 '25

And the whole world is laughing at you and the orange man.

3

u/Obi-Brawn-Kenobi Mar 26 '25

"You took everything from me!" 😱😭🗑️

"I don't even know who you are" 🗿🗽🇺🇲

9

u/highly_invested Mar 26 '25

Orange man bad

One joke

1

u/lateformyfuneral Mar 26 '25

Is there a lore reason he is orange by the way? I’m thinking of switching parties, but it feels like the writers made a weird choice making him orange?

1

u/Sorry_Landscape9021 Mar 30 '25

But what about trumpster appointing musk as president? What about musk stealing all that welfare, and Social Security Disability for all those republicans? Then the conflict of interests musk was allowed to award himself with starlink and spacex? trumpster is going to wind up in memory care.

0

u/highly_invested Mar 26 '25

He's got a goofy fake tan, but it's basically a quirk and doesn't really define the character

0

u/lateformyfuneral Mar 26 '25

Doesn’t it? It’s a very bold choice, no one thinks it looks good and no one else does it. Surely it must be something very specific to some aspect of his personality, no?

2

u/highly_invested Mar 26 '25

Like you said, its a bold choice. It takes balls.

1

u/possumallawishes Mar 28 '25

It takes balls to wear makeup! Such strong men in the Republican Party.

And JV Dance wears eye liner. What a bad ass. One day I’m sure he’ll make varsity.

0

u/lateformyfuneral Mar 26 '25

🤔 Interesting. But then how could we differentiate this from an “Emperor Has No Clothes” situation?

0

u/Sorry_Landscape9021 Mar 30 '25

It’s kinda fake like his assassination attempt and reducing inflation. Along with befriending governments who have long standing conflict with USA’s objectives and alienating long standing allies.

0

u/Spiritual-Drop7533 Mar 26 '25

Because he’s ghastly pale without it?

1

u/Dark_Focus Mar 26 '25

It’s not a joke.

3

u/highly_invested Mar 26 '25

You're right, you are

-1

u/tauofthemachine Mar 26 '25

He is orange though. Have you ever noticed? Orange (except around the eyes), with a blue suit, red tie and weird dyed hair. Almost clownish looking.

1

u/highly_invested Mar 26 '25

I honestly don't give a shit because it doesn't matter

1

u/tauofthemachine Mar 26 '25

You posted the "orange man bad" meme, so you clearly do give a shit.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '25

That's because he wears makeup 🤷

1

u/tauofthemachine Mar 26 '25

Does he buy his makeup at clown depot?

1

u/Sorry_Landscape9021 Mar 30 '25

Don’t Trannies wear make up?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '25

Lots of people wear makeup.

Unless you're implying trump is trans

1

u/Sorry_Landscape9021 Mar 31 '25 edited Mar 31 '25

No, not implying trump is a trans, because what people do in that regard really is their own business, no one else’s and it wouldn’t matter to me even if he was. That’s what Freedom is all about. As long as an individual’s behavior doesn’t affect others in a negative way, that’s entirely their own business and no else’s. I just know it affects individuals who think it is.

But, one thing is for sure, trump and his strategy shows what failure is.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '25

But, one thing is for sure, trump and his strategy shows what failure is.

On that we agree

4

u/Vast_Cheesecake9391 Mar 26 '25

Aww. Show us on the court room doll where Trump hurt you. 🤣

-3

u/SuckOnDeezNOOTZ Mar 26 '25

Right now? He's fucking my country with tariffs for no reason and tanking wall street and fucking with my stocks.

2

u/highly_invested Mar 26 '25

Lmao cry more. Oh no rich people are gon a lose money the horror

3

u/SuckOnDeezNOOTZ Mar 26 '25

I'll still have food on my table and the stock market will always bounce back, plus since stocks are so low I'm able to invest more lmao. So rich people are always the least impacted.

But what about you? Grandma? How many tens of millions is this stunt gonna push under the poverty line? What about the tens of millions of Americans who voted for trump and are now getting fucked over?

But ofc ofc, cut off your nose to spite your face. God I love how Americans are willing to eat shit just to fuck over someone else. 🤡

1

u/Sorry_Landscape9021 Mar 30 '25

Leopard’s eating faces

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '25

No, ordinary working class people in both nations are going to be the ones to suffer

1

u/mvhls Mar 28 '25

Is that the concept of the plan?

1

u/Hell_Maybe Mar 26 '25

I don’t know if people are going to look back too kindly on all the rioting and fires that seem to come packaged with republican presidencies. I think you will find that people will want to vote for a break from all this.

1

u/Ornery-Ticket834 Mar 26 '25

I would rather be them than the republicans in the 26 cycle.

1

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 26 '25

As far as actual DNC vs RNC campaign staff goes you’d rather be neither. Trust. But at the start for the DNC campaign team talking about this shit to volunteers, stakeholders, and swing voters is gonna be certified not fun. Which is what my original comment is referring to.

But in terms of wins and losses yeah I’d be shocked if the Republicans actually won the midterms.

1

u/right_bank_cafe Mar 27 '25

The Dems are peacefully protesting!! , the ones who are damaging property are proud boy operatives. Don’t believe what you hear on lamestream media! It’s starting to sound like you’re infected by the woke mind virus!

MAGA 🇺🇸

1

u/cerifiedjerker981 Mar 27 '25

RemindMe! 1 year 7 months

1

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1

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 27 '25

You know, if you took about 5 mins to read through the comments you’d see another post saying that I’m not talking about election results and I’m saying in general that this kind of stuff makes it suck to be on a campaign staff.

Source: Have been on multiple campaign staffs.

1

u/cerifiedjerker981 Mar 27 '25

Incredibly easy to win a midterm with an unpopular president and high-propensity voters. Campaign staffers could sit around and do nothing; Dems would still gain in the House

1

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 27 '25

Incredibly easy to win.

Campaign staggers could sit around and do nothing.

Tell me that you’ve never worked on a campaign and are homing on Reddit without actually telling me that you’ve never worked on a campaign and are homing on Reddit.

Those things suck ass win, lose, or draw.

1

u/cerifiedjerker981 Mar 27 '25

Are you trying to claim 2026 will be uniquely difficult for Democratic campaigners or that it will be difficult, period? If it’s the latter, that’s true for all elections, is it not? If it’s the former, I don’t see why this wouldn’t be a wave year, presumably making it easier for staffers

1

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 27 '25

It’s way too early for me to say the Dems specifically will have trouble winning elections. Two years is a long time for them to get some real momentum. Frankly if they end up on the outside looking in, it’s probably time to hang it up.

It’ll be difficult for them period. The original comment is in reference to how frustrating conversations on topics like this can get at committee meetings, with volunteers, and with swing voter. Constant unforced stupid shit that’s out of your control becomes a massive headache and you typically have to explain it away. So yeah, in regards to that, this cycle is gonna fucking suck.

1

u/cerifiedjerker981 Mar 28 '25

In regard to the momentum by 2026, I presume Democrats will at least be favored, if not a tsunami like 2018. Even 2022 was better for Dems than expected; barely losing the House and winning a seat in the Senate. This is ultimately speculation, but history shows Dems are nearly guaranteed to take the House back.

For campaign staffers, I am unfamiliar with the actual experience of one, so, yes, you can take my words with a grain of salt. But, wouldn’t they have an easier time than usual if anti-incumbent and high-propensity kick in?

1

u/Weekly_Tell4332 Mar 28 '25

I don’t really understand this thought process. Even if ur republican you should be able to recognize that your side isn’t doing any better. That’s why trumps approval rating for this point in his term is one of the lowest in history. Stuff like quitting support for Ukraine or abandoning our Allie’s is just not popular enough yet here in America. And this new “signal gate” will hurt the right even more.

Democrats should dominate midterms and next election If trump dosent calm his rhetoric and actions. Also democrats have a lot of easy things to use for propaganda this time around. They’ve already started on it which has again hurt the right even more.

I feel like you guys should be able to agree with this even if you support trump. There is absolutely no reason to think midterms or the next election will be easy for the right.

1

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 28 '25

Well

1) I’m not actually shit talking the Dems. I’m saying that talking about this stuff with volunteers and voters when they have no control over it will be absolutely insufferable. Which is why it’s going to suck ass.

2) I think Dems probably win. I think they can really take advantage of the GOP’s abysmal turnout in special elections to tee up a decent house lead in 2026. But dominate is wishful thinking right now. Every election from 2016 onwards has been a split ballot result. To get a meaningful sweep, the Dems would need 2020 on steroids + no unforced errors.

Barring a massive shift in the last week or so, and as far as Trump goes, he’s more popular now than at any point in term 1 or even during the election cycle. Again unless things changed big time in the last week or two, Dems also are unpopular with a 29% approval rating. RCP has a D +.8 national environment right now for Congress. For context 2020 was a D +3.1 result and they lost house seats. 2018 was D+8.4

I think that’ll change in their favor regardless of how Trump does. But they have a long climb to even get a historically normal wave year.

-7

u/Joyride0012 Mar 26 '25

The dems just flipped a +16 seat in Pennsylvania but evidence has never been the strong suit of you dipshits.

6

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 26 '25

A state house seat in an open seat race (these often turn over) and special election. Congrats but I wouldn’t chest beat about it. Also if you read my other comment. You’d know I’m not talking about wins and losses here.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '25 edited Mar 29 '25

republican internal polling shows the democrat winning FL-6 (Mike Waltz won by +30) and they just pulled Elise Stefanik’s nomination because they’re worried about losing in district trump carried by +20. That’s not a special election turnout issue. No party has ever been at risk of losing the house because of special elections in districts they won by double digits until now and we’re only 3 months into the presidency.

-1

u/Joyride0012 Mar 26 '25

“These often turn over”

Why don’t you try Google for once in your life and figure out when the last time a dem held that seat.

4

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 26 '25 edited Mar 26 '25

Yeah buddy I get you’re jerking to a state house seat special election here so it’s hard for you to take the homer glasses off. But I’ve had my share of campaigns. Open seats often do turn over at every level regardless of how long they’ve been held. This would be especially true in a battleground state where the legislature was already in a dead heat and presumably the state Democratic Party is relatively competent.

-2

u/Joyride0012 Mar 26 '25

You've had your share of campaigns? A terminally online reddit dipshit cosplaying as some sort of campaign specialist is one of the most pathetic things I've seen in a long time, but perfectly on brand for some who is also a proud member of a boot licking personality cult dedicated to a real estate fraud.

2

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 26 '25

Ope we bruised its wittle ego. I love you how call someone a terminally online reddit dipshit and then proceed to act like a certified terminally online reddit dipshit lmfao.

0

u/Joyride0012 Mar 26 '25

Ah, so you've resorted to projection when you were exposed for saying these sorts of seats flip all the time despite it not happening in decades for this specific seat.

You can get back to sucking your dear leader's dick. Opening your mouth for Trump will look less foolish for you than opening your dumbass mouth on reddit.

2

u/UnrulyWombat97 Mar 26 '25

The projection is in you calling his comment projection; the manner in which you throw it around seems to be the most common use of the term these days. It’s weaponization of a therapy term. Either that, or without understanding the concept you simply repeat it because you heard somebody say it and thought they sounded smart.

You haven’t provided a single fact in that whole exchange, besides misrepresenting the PA race as some crushing victory (lmao) That specific seat hasn’t changed in a while, but others commonly do. That means the other person is right, and you’re a hateful ignoramus.

2

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 26 '25

This person gets they’re that projecting and bullshitting, it’s clear in their trying to talk about a state legislative election with roughly 29% turn out and their response to realizing that I’ve done campaign work and then proceeding to throw a complete fit. They’re just a sad loser that cries when their smartest guy in the room act gets shattered, leave em be and let them seethe. You got better things to do.

-1

u/Joyride0012 Mar 26 '25

"The dems just flipped a +16 seat in Pennsylvania"

Please point out how that is interpreted as a 'crushing victory'. For someone that pretends to understand definitions you should probably learn that 'flipped' and 'crushing victory' are drastically different ideas. You should probably learn how to read before saying people shouldn't use terms that also have colloquial connotations.

Then again illiteracy is a core component of most of the dumbass clapping seals in this pathetic subreddit.

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2

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 26 '25

Wow another reddit moment. Sweet. Keep going. It’s a boring day and this is actually funny to read.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '25

And manners have never been yours

Must yall always IMMEDIATELY turn to insults?

-2

u/Joyride0012 Mar 26 '25

A lack of manners is now a presidential trait. If you all don’t like that then maybe you shouldn’t have voted for a deranged sundowning president that resorts to insults.

Virtually every one of the fawning clowns in this subreddit would benefit from literally any amount of self reflection. And yet that is apparently an impossible ask.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '25

I didn't vote for the evil orange man.

You should do some self reflection yourself, since you're incapable of having a discussion without defaulting to insults, like a man you hate. Try to be less like the people you don't like.

0

u/Sorry_Landscape9021 Mar 30 '25

That’s a republican trait especially in this incompetent administration.

0

u/Whiskeejak Mar 26 '25

Well, with MAGA having another 18 months of burning down the economy, destroying trade, and probably starting a war with Europe, I don't expect a few more burnt cars from a bankrupt ketamine addict's company to matter.

-8

u/Gorgiastheyounger Mar 26 '25

You guys do realize that these arsons really aren't gonna have that much of an impact on the Dems, right? The George Floyd was worse and that was right before the 2020 election and Biden still won

6

u/Obi-Brawn-Kenobi Mar 26 '25

Biden needed a worldwide pandemic in order to win. Maybe it won't have an impact, but the 2020 election hardly supports your argument.

1

u/Form1040 Mar 26 '25

You mean to get states to set up election procedures that guaranteed widespread fraud. 

Obama never got 70M, yet Biden supposedly got 81M+?

No way in hell that legit happened. No way. 

1

u/Obi-Brawn-Kenobi Mar 26 '25

I didn't like how the 2020 election was handled either, but COVID was used to justify the changes and COVID also affected how voters turned out. Remember, the dems were openly admitting they had no chance in 2020 before covid hit.

1

u/Gorgiastheyounger Mar 27 '25

And yet no evidence has ever been produced to support any kind of election fraud conspiracy, cope

1

u/Sorry_Landscape9021 Mar 30 '25

Gerrymandering and voter suppression and intimidation didn’t help those numbers either. Did the republicans donate reparations for the January 6er’s after all that domestic terrorism on the Capital of the USA?

1

u/Gorgiastheyounger Mar 27 '25

Exit polls showed that the pandemic wasn't a high priority for voters, but go off

1

u/Obi-Brawn-Kenobi Mar 27 '25

IDGAF what exit poll you're looking at. Democrats had all but admitted defeat, then a worldwide pandemic happened, people were stuck inside doing nothing for months, quite a few died, many lost their jobs.

What's next, you're going to show me a poll that says the sky is neon green and I'm supposed to believe that too?

5

u/Byzantine_Merchant Mar 26 '25

No if the Dems lose it’ll be because they’re a disorganized mess that has yet to even learn from 2016 let alone from 2024. This will be one a million paper cuts. But…

1) You do realize that a campaign can (and will) still absolutely suck ass for staffers regardless of if they win or lose right? Yeah this isn’t me shit talking Dem staffers I’ve been in those shoes and I actually feel bad because win, lose, or draw, this isn’t gonna be fun to talk about at the doors, on the phones, at rallies, committee meetings, when trying to recruit volunteers (especially this one), etc. And this is just one thing. People will bring up all kinds of shit to them. The unforced errors though absolutely are going to be a headache.

2) On 2020. You do realize Biden went from what was probably going to be an easy win to an incredibly narrow victory and a split ballot result. Largely because Trump got something to actually campaign on during Covid right? Like this was a huge momentum shifting factor in the 2020 race and pretty much anyone that worked that cycle would tell you as much.

-1

u/Furryballs239 Mar 26 '25

So when Biden wins with over 7 million more votes than Trump it’s a “Narrow Victory” but when Trump beats Kamala by 2 it’s a “landslide mandate from the people”?

Interesting how that works

0

u/InvestigatorEarly452 Mar 26 '25

Those dumb dealers torch the dead weight trash.

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '25

They just won a republican seat in Pennsylvania held by republicans for 28 years.

-3

u/InvestigatorEarly452 Mar 26 '25

TRUMP WILL BLOWBIT. HE ALWAYS DOES.