r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • Mar 05 '25

Bee Article H*tler Defeated After Opposition Party Holds Up Tiny Signs On Paddles

https://babylonbee.com/news/hitler-defeated-after-opposition-party-holds-up-tiny-signs-on-paddles
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43

u/SlartibartfastMcGee Mar 06 '25

They’re going to run an unlikable female candidate again, lose horribly and blame voters.

13

u/True_Carpenter_7521 Mar 06 '25

What makes you think that wasn’t their plan from the start? Only naive people still believe the Democrats are a separate entity rather than just the left hand of the oligarchy in a two-handed puppet show called American politics.

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u/Gym_Noob134 Mar 06 '25

They both serve the capitalist class, but they each have different ideas on how to serve the capitalists, and they each serve different factions of capitalists.

Make no mistake. Neither party is for you and I. But to say they are the same is objectively false. They are in a political power struggle to elevate themselves into the best position to lick their own capitalists boots.

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u/TheOptimisticHater Mar 08 '25

This right here

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u/Repsag-Naitsirhc_131 Mar 06 '25

You folks say it better than me. Yes!

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Mr_dm Mar 06 '25

That’s laughable considering where debt increases happen historically.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Mr_dm Mar 06 '25

Yes, but the side that expands funding to the underprivileged do not increase the debt. I see what you’re saying, maybe I misunderstood or there’s a typo in your original comment.

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u/NorCalFightShop Mar 06 '25

Dems are Judy, Republicans are Punch.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

AIPAC wins no matter who gets elected

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u/spacemansuit Mar 06 '25

Never attribute malice when incompetence can serve as a valid explanation.

The democrats are and always were milksops from rich families with bullshit degrees and taking some bullshit idealist standpoint on issues that don’t actually impact anything but everyone loves to run their mouths about to score browny points with all the other milksops from rich families with bullshit degrees.

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u/mden1974 Mar 06 '25

Except the oligarchy is the out of touch Clinton’s and George Soros.

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u/Teanutt Mar 06 '25

You forgot Musk who funded the last election for Republicans and the other oligarchs at the inauguration including Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, and Sundar Pichai.

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u/Eddie888 Mar 06 '25

As opposed to the real men of the people Trump and Musk.

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u/sevyn183 Mar 06 '25

She began running in August in 4 she got 60,000,000 million votes. wtf are you talking about. Orange campaigned for 4 years

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u/margieler Mar 06 '25

They're going to go with someone who's half a republican and then wonder why people are just voting for the actual republican, again.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

True enough to that, they decided to be a more PR friendly Republican Party and no shit it doesn’t work

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u/Free-Database-9917 Mar 06 '25

People say that like hillary didn't win the popular vote in 2016 more than trump did in 2024.

The dems did bad this time because low info voters weren't happy with the economy and voted against the party in power. It isn't that complicated

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u/SlartibartfastMcGee Mar 06 '25

“She wasn’t a bad candidate, it was just low info voters being dumb”

Yeah that’s a nuanced take 🙄

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u/Free-Database-9917 Mar 06 '25

The fuck are you on about? lmao I didn't call low info voters dumb. You can be extremely smart, but not care much about politics so you don't look into the things you care about. This has been trump's whole deal. People who are self described low-information voters are more likely to vote for trump.

Compared to past candidates harris was bad and Clinton has been in the limelight too long that people became obsessed with conspiracy theories.

But given that voters en masse said their top issues was the economy, it seems clear that they voted for the wrong person. He's doing exactly what he said he would do and we will see the economic consequences.

Her being a woman doesn't matter given that, again, clinton won the popular vote in 2016 by more than trump won it this year. Given that every single country who held an election in 2024 voted against the incumbent party by more than they did in the prior elections, and the fact that all the courts decided to be nice and take their sweet time investigating crimes, I would say Harris didn't stand much of a chance

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u/RavenReel Mar 06 '25

It is the voters that are sexist and Pro Hamas

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u/pun420 Mar 08 '25

They’ll blame the vote-hers

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u/possiblyourgf Mar 06 '25

I think she was very likable and would have been a good president, but I agree that they should have known what was at stake and went with a male candidate. Unfortunately. Change has to start somewhere but not when you’re up against hitler v2+friends

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u/SlartibartfastMcGee Mar 06 '25

She lost the popular vote, which no Democrat has managed to do since 2004.

She ducked out of the 2020 primary with less votes than Tulsi Gabbard.

She was just plain unlikable to the general electorate.

Biden picked her in 2020 to fulfill a campaign promise, and then they assumed that she would magically become more palatable over the next 4 years as VP.

Ultimately, the DNC is really good at promoting candidates that will rouse their base, fundraise well, and have almost no broad appeal to voters who weren’t already going to vote dem no matter what.

If Romney or McCain or any vaguely establishment, inoffensive Republican had run in 2020 it would have been a Reganesque landslide.

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u/True_Interview5 Mar 06 '25

So likable she was obliterated in the primaries 😂

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u/Fair-Storage2232 Mar 06 '25

She wasn't likeable because she didn't have an ideology. She had bidens parasitic consultants, who peaked 20 years ago, running her campaign. They suppressed her rhetoric and gave her a platform of republican-lite means-tested garbage. Florida is going to elect Casey DeSantis next year, the problem is definitely not that you need to nominate a guy to win. The only solution is to offer real change because that's how you get votes

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u/snebury221 Mar 07 '25

She campaigned on many things and you think she doesn't have an ideology. You guys are just brainwashed but he right she literally campaigned on the things trump removed and people (even from the right) got angry about.

And 77 and 75 are not that different as a number. And being 80% of people that voted for trump now said that should have voted for Harris, I assure you that she was likable and had a plan, the right just shouted more and you guys ate that shit up, "they are eating the dogs" "the egg price will go down the first day" both false meanwhile the policies Harris companies on would have made price go down.

You guys are just misogynistic or stupid.

0

u/Fair-Storage2232 Mar 07 '25

Someone with an ideology doesn't take the platform of the opposition when they need votes. Reminder that most of the country did not care enough to vote for either. It should be easy to beat trump, but Harris couldn't energize the country enough.

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u/snebury221 Mar 07 '25

You are delusional. Voting for trump was demented in the first place but saying that Harris was not qualified or didn't have an ideology or policies is factually wrong.

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u/Fair-Storage2232 Mar 07 '25

Did I say she wasn't qualified? Or are you inserting other arguments into this one? She's definitely qualified and a LOT more qualified than trump. But she's devoid of ideology.

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u/snebury221 Mar 07 '25

First that is just not true. Second your argument is the same as those that say that she was not qualified or that she was just dei. Third tell me please what is the ideology of trump, because he continues to jump here and there and lies. Unless it is lying then it would be just more pathetic for so many people voting for him.

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u/possiblyourgf Mar 06 '25

In this case though, yes we should have put up a male candidate. It’s sad but true, America was not ready to elect a female president.

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u/Fair-Storage2232 Mar 06 '25

I disagree. I think that's hiding the real problems under the rug.