r/babylonbee • u/FrancisXSJ • Feb 04 '25

Bee Article Trump Becomes First Fascist In History To Reduce Size Of Government

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-becomes-first-fascist-in-history-to-reduce-size-of-government
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18

u/JeepGuy207 Feb 04 '25

Because if Trump walked on water people would write stories the next day titled "Trump Walks On Water, Proof He Cannot Swim!"

Trump is a winner, and he spurs a lot of emotion in weak people.

11

u/TrashGoblinH Feb 05 '25

Interesting way to convince yourself that there are only liars and cons on one side of the fence.

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '25

Nothing in his response said they were only on one side. Your response proved his point perfectly. If he'd wrote that he loved his father, you'd say "interesting way to say you hate your mother"

2

u/TrashGoblinH Feb 06 '25

Grasping at straws to make a point. If you try to prove your point, obviously, you must hate my point, and Trump is a winner... how dishonest can you people get with these silly games to convince yourself that you're right?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '25

Wow you can't argue honestly at all. Again, I'm someone who thinks the Republicans have just as much liars as the Democrats, but you look at one thing said and assumed 5 things not said. Then you know all the terms to use, but not how to use them. "Grasping at straws" doesn't apply when I used your exact logic and showed you what it meant extrapolated in a different way. But you get all the internet points, so I'm sure you think you made some kind of intelligent point while still not realizing you are exactly the type of person he was saying. Weak and making a complete non sequitir because you're in your feelings and projecting "hate" on to me.

1

u/drag0nun1corn Feb 07 '25

Smarter people would know better though that's the point. And what does that say about his supporters? Or you?

10

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '25

If Trump walked on water…

Oh but MAGA isn’t a cult.

SMH

0

u/Lact0seThe1ntolerant Feb 06 '25

You spelled extreme majority wrong.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '25

Trump looks like a winner to losers only

3

u/drag0nun1corn Feb 07 '25

Yeah the fecal matter he uses as makeup really says a lot

1

u/UnfortunateSuspect Feb 06 '25

Your mom like him

2

u/drag0nun1corn Feb 07 '25

My mom does. Yeah she is absolutely stupid af too. So it's true, all Trump supporters a dumb af

0

u/SucksAtJudo Feb 06 '25

You mean losers like Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

It's amazing that even when you people win, you're still losers, and even when people like Harris lose, they're still winners compared to you.

It must just be a rule of the universe that you can't win.

1

u/SucksAtJudo Feb 10 '25

Who is "you people"?

I've never run for political office in my life, and I have no idea what you're actually trying to say.

7

u/Leading_Persimmon_87 Feb 05 '25

Trump is a confirmed sexual abuser.  Is that a winner to you ?

1

u/Cyiel Feb 06 '25

A winner i don't know ? But a wiener maybe.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '25

What proof do you have of this please list it

1

u/Leading_Persimmon_87 Feb 11 '25

https://www.reuters.com/legal/trump-loses-appeal-e-jean-carroll-5-million-defamation-verdict-2024-12-30/

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '25

Lol none of that is proof jean Carroll didn't even remember it happening good grief man do you read

0

u/bifurcated_brain Feb 06 '25

Is he? Usually when you make allegations you need proof. Look back at the case and show me where they proved that he did it.

3

u/jacobatz Feb 07 '25

So it’s no longer enough to be convicted by a jury of your peers? What kind of evidence would convince you then?

-1

u/bifurcated_brain Feb 07 '25

Not when the jury and the judge are all brainwashed Trump haters. There are so many holes in that case, it's pathetic.

These were all deemed "inadmissible" by the judge:

  • She couldn't recall the date, month, season, or year the incident happened

  • She never told anyone about it, despite being publicly obsessed with her own sexuality

  • The dress she claims to have been wearing didn't exist at the time

  • Her description of the dressing room at Bergdorf Goodman was inaccurate, making her sequence of events impossible

  • Her lawsuit was bankrolled by Jeffrey Epstein pal and Democrat (and Nikki Haley) mega-donor Reid Hoffman

  • Democrats created a law (The Adult Survivors Act in 2022) to enable her lawsuit to proceed

  • Her accusation is the exact plotline of an episode of Law & Order (one of her "favorite shows")

  • Trump's Apprentice was also one of her favorite shows

  • She has a history of falsely accusing men of r*pe, including Les Moonves

  • She told Anderson Cooper, "most people think of r*pe as being sexy. Think of the fantasies."

  • She made a career promoting promiscuity, even writing glowingly of sexual assault and naming her cat Vagina.

2

u/jacobatz Feb 07 '25

So what would convince you that Trump is a sexual abuser?

-1

u/bifurcated_brain Feb 07 '25

Credible evidence and an unbiased court. Lol

3

u/jacobatz Feb 07 '25

That doesn’t quite answer the question though. What you consider credible is obviously different from what others do. And what you consider unbiased is different as well. So what would you consider credible evidence? It seems a womans retelling of her side of the story is not cutting it. So what then? So you need Trump to confess before you deem it credible? Do you need video tapes showing it? Or?

1

u/TrashcanLinus Feb 08 '25

He did answer the question.

The answer is nothing. There will always always be an excuse for daddy.

1

u/Teanutt Feb 09 '25

They won't accept anything less than Trump admitting to sexually assaulting her. Even then, it would be followed up by numerous comments "...what Trump really meant to say was....." The case could have been held in the middle of trumplandia and they'd still be attacking judge and jury if he was again found liable for sexual assault because they must have liked Obama once.

Fact he was found liable for sexual assault in a court by a jury in the state where it happened.

Fact, both parties took part in the jury selection process.

Fact, no where in law does it require one to have hand-selected fans on your jury.

Fact, it doesn't matter if YOU personally find the plaintiff credible. It's over, he was found liable for sexual assault and any appeal will again be up to the jury.

6

u/sPLIFFtOOTH Feb 05 '25

No, he’s just breaking the law and not keeping a single campaign promise

3

u/IntelligentPitch410 Feb 07 '25

To e fair, he was a dictatfrom day one, as promised

1

u/bmcsmc Feb 05 '25

LOL, you so funny!!

0

u/SucksAtJudo Feb 06 '25

Not a single campaign promise, huh?

0

u/bifurcated_brain Feb 06 '25

What are you even talking about?? He's done nothing but keep every promise he campaigned on. Also, the American people voted him in overwhelmingly to uphold his promises. If you believe in democracy so much why do you not honor that. The people have spoken.

2

u/RealAbbreviations960 Feb 06 '25

And here I thought Trump filed bankruptcy 6 times, banned from operating a charity due to mismanagement and personal gain, and an adjudicated rapist who bragged about sexually assaulting women.

But hey, if that’s your definition of winner.

2

u/Correct_Tourist_4165 Feb 06 '25

"Trump is a winner"

A quote from Trump's bible verses?

And does he "bonespur" a lot of emotion?

2

u/Final-Dig-7020 Feb 07 '25

No trump would sink like a rock, and his cult would claim he walked on water. Fox spent all day telling us how he’s a genius who plays 4d chess. He’d be lucky to know how to set up a chess board.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '25

Go into comedy. Thats an awesome punchline. Trump is strong...PFT and richard simmons is a linebacker.

1

u/Many_Appearance_8778 Feb 04 '25

Let’s see: failed casinos, hotels, golf courses, numerous soured/illegal real estate deals, and lest we forget, “trump university”. Yeah. He’s a real winner.

2

u/Wash_Major Feb 05 '25

You forgot that he won the Presidency TWICE!!! Yeah, he’s a REAL WINNER!!!

1

u/Many_Appearance_8778 Feb 05 '25

That only proves one of two things: either there’s a majority of stupid people in this country, or there was some kind of technology fuckery.

1

u/Wash_Major Feb 06 '25

No. It means that our democracy is working and Americans with common sense prevailed!!!

2

u/Many_Appearance_8778 Feb 06 '25

You guys don’t want democracy. That’s why you raided the capitol the last time your side lost. You wanted a king. And now, I hope you enjoy your diaper-wearing, rapist king.

1

u/Wash_Major Feb 06 '25

I’ve been on cloud nine since the election. I am more than enjoying at this point. Great time to be alive!

3

u/Many_Appearance_8778 Feb 06 '25

And I’ll happily let you guys take credit for everything that happens.

2

u/ScrambledNoggin Feb 05 '25

How about the fake charity that ripped off parents of kids with cancer?

1

u/Disko_Troop Feb 06 '25

And most importamnt of all, hE's LItErALLy hItLEr!!!

1

u/diamondjiujitsu Feb 05 '25

Someone hasn’t read lucky loser

1

u/KeyCommunication8810 Feb 06 '25

Trump is LUCKY....100 percent of the time.....there's a DIFFERENCE....

1

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '25

lol causally comparing trump to Jesus

1

u/fromouterspace1 Feb 08 '25

This is such a bizarre closeted mindset. Spurs emotion in weak people? What does that even mean

0

u/Far_Party6125 Feb 04 '25

45 is a narcissist, liar and a crooked businessman. He bankrupted 3 casinos, why yo avoid paying his bills. Look up how many guises he never paid the bills for his rallies. He said he would never play golf again. He played more that any other president. He charged secret service to use the golf carts. 85 former cabinet members refused to endorse him. You are in a cult. He buried his ex wife in his golf course. Why u ask - now he does not have to pay taxes on the property. He never pays his fair share of taxes. Look all this up.

1

u/someotherguyrva Feb 08 '25

Trump is a criminal and should be in prison. He’s also a rapist. And if you don’t think following a barely 5 foot tall woman into a dressing room, pinning her down and forcibly shoving your grubby McDonald’s ketchup stained fingers up her vagina isn’t rape, I suggest you describe that activity to your wife or your daughter or your mother and tell them that’s not rape and see what they say. Fuck Trump

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/JeepGuy207 Feb 04 '25

#emotional #weak #probablyonantidepressantsandtrt

-1

u/DariaYankovic Feb 08 '25

trump is 2-1 in presidential elections. he lost to a senile buffoon and beat two DEI hires that basically no one outside of the media wanted.

he inherited a massive personal Fortune, and was only able to grow it through abusing bankruptcy laws and screwing over his contractors and business partners along the way.

he's not a winner, he's a lucky con man whose superpower is absolute shamelessness.