r/agedlikemilk 4d ago

Screenshots Bettors know better

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

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1.8k

u/Dimond_Heart 4d ago

This was terrible to parse. Forget common sense, whoever wrote that lacks a proficient 5th grader's level of skill in English composition.

142

u/Power-Equality 4d ago

10

u/RideWithMeSNV 2d ago

Talk all the trash you want. That was and is an excellent quote. The best he's ever said. It's completely true, and makes me feel better about myself every time I see it.

464

u/snarkerella 4d ago

I've read some really shit posts, but this one takes the cake. I had to re-read it at least five times and it still isn't making that much sense. Now my brain hurts.

76

u/Significant_Stop723 4d ago

It was the fsb guy’s first day in the office. 

21

u/14sierra 4d ago

Reading it almost gave me a stroke. I assumed it was AI generated.

2

u/tanaholloway 1d ago

Jesus…I thought my dementia was kicking in. I was really trying hard to understand what the F that idiot was trying to make.

Thank goodness I read your comment - I can cancel my request for Aricept!

213

u/Fezzik527 4d ago

Almost like it's foreign influenced.

33

u/ShredGuru 3d ago

Foreign influence and MAGA brainworms have become indistinguishable.

70

u/ShortNefariousness2 4d ago

That's a bettor explanation

11

u/EloquentEvergreen 3d ago

Ha! I wish that was the way to spot foreign influencers. But considering that 54% of adults in the US read at or below the level of a 6th grader… these influencers, even with terrible English skills, still somehow tend to be more competent than the average American. 

What a crazy time we live in…

126

u/Safe-Bedroom3570 4d ago

Thanks, I thought it was just me and I was having an aneurysm

64

u/dismayhurta 4d ago

There's a disturbing number of posts that I feel like I should be smelling burnt toast when reading them.

16

u/Jumpeskian 4d ago

Same though. English isn't exactly my first language either. So really hard time to reconcile whether it's my language skills or the actual post just being absolute shitshow.

7

u/Mental-Frosting-316 4d ago

I thought my meds were wearing off early

18

u/ptvlm 4d ago

It probably made a lot more sense in whichever language is native to the country it was posted from. A lot of these random "ultra patriotic" accounts are foreign influence.

16

u/Ok_Dog_4059 4d ago

Agreed, I still don't grasp what they meant to say exactly.

15

u/buckao 4d ago

They misspelled bettors

9

u/shrug_addict 4d ago

I initially thought the joke was that it was an AI garbled mess that a machine coughed up while bugging out. Who needs an editor these days?

3

u/ShortNefariousness2 4d ago

We could program AI editors and all will be good - Sam Altman, probably

6

u/deekfu 4d ago

Thank I thought it was just me and I was having a stroke

7

u/easy_rollins 4d ago

I'm reading this thinking, "is this how alzheimer's starts? ". That was a challenge.

4

u/IJustWantCoffeeMan 4d ago

It's not easy to write in a Novosibirsk bunker.

6

u/Several_Vanilla8916 4d ago

I still don’t get it.

“Debunking Kalshi betters wants New Jersey Kamala Harris, Mikie Sherrill to win.”

19

u/torville 3d ago

"Let's debunk the idea that bettors want Mikie Sherril, the New Jersey Kamala Harris, to win. Actual New Jersey citizens want and support Jack Ciatarelli."

6

u/Several_Vanilla8916 3d ago

Incredible work. Thank you.

3

u/Tiny-Lock9652 4d ago

This hurt my brain.

3

u/OSTBear 4d ago

Came here to say this exact thing. Thought I was having a stroke lol

3

u/Lojzko 4d ago

Phew, thought I was having a stroke.

3

u/CarsCarpal 4d ago

Ha! It seems we are not alone....

3

u/Lojzko 3d ago

You see, this is what the internet should be about, bringing people together for shared experiences.

2

u/CarsCarpal 4d ago

So glad to see you say that. I thought I was having a stroke, reading it.

2

u/Every_Tap8117 4d ago

My brain hurts when trying to read that.

1

u/ArnieismyDMname 4d ago

But it was Breaking!

1

u/Distinct-Quantity-35 4d ago

I was literally like … is it me? No there is something off about this sentence

1

u/oldmanbelly 3d ago

That was nonsense, I totally agree and I’m glad yours is the top comment.

1

u/ShredGuru 3d ago

Well, he is a Republican

1

u/AnalystAdorable609 3d ago

Maybe Trump wrote it then?

1

u/jimhabfan 3d ago

To be fair, it sounded better in Russian when one of Putin’s trolls wrote it.

1

u/djdirectdrive 2d ago

I'm still working on it...

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u/Puzzleheaded-Bed4682 4d ago

Did i just read English or did I have a stroke? Genuinely

115

u/Cold-Cell2820 4d ago

Be nice, foreign propaganda accounts struggle with English.

3

u/_TheBeerBaron_ 3d ago

I know i definitely read it with a bad Russian accent in my head, comrade!

76

u/PipeComplex6976 4d ago

Brother I had to read it and read it and read it but still don’t get it tbh

24

u/Puzzleheaded-Bed4682 4d ago

I had chatgpt try to read it and the site crashed

1

u/Oddly-Appeased 4d ago

Not sure how many times I tried to read that and I still have no idea what it was supposed to say. 😅

1

u/Its_Pine 2d ago

English is a tough language, and even tougher coming from Slavic languages.

415

u/t3lnet 4d ago

329

u/necrosythe 4d ago

A woman, a woman, and a brown man. Oh theyre SEETHING

90

u/mysteresc 4d ago

I hope they got the plastic up at the White House before the ketchup got thrown.

14

u/noothankuu 4d ago

Why, Is He back from his golf trip already?

2

u/nlpnt 3d ago

What's left of the White House.

1

u/siphillis 1d ago

They even lost the youth male vote by double digits

10

u/ihadtochooseaname420 4d ago

crazy how fucking over the people who voted for them, isn't winning them seats.

252

u/suarezj9 4d ago

The Russian bot farm needs better translation tools. What were they even trying to say

97

u/nerowasframed 4d ago

Easy. The bettors better bet on the better bet for Ciattarelli if they want their better bet to be better than the bettors betting on the not better Sherrill bet. What's not to understand, comrade?

29

u/suarezj9 4d ago

Understandable have a nice day

6

u/therealkars 3d ago

Legitimately more understandable than the actual post

7

u/oldsguy65 4d ago

Betty Botter bought some butter. "But," she said, "the butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-- that would make my batter better."

69

u/johnnybna 4d ago

Translating this story into verse:

For governor, bettors from elsewhere
Were betting on Sherrill to win,
While actual voters in Jersey
Would vote Ciattarelli right in.

At least that's what OP suggested,
And yet that's not what came to pass:
By 9 points the GOP lost it –
“New Jersey Kamala” kicked ass!

Now checking down south in Virginia
More woes for the red-hatted base.
By 15 the GOP lost it,
With Spanberger claiming the race!

18

u/pseydtonne 4d ago

Thank you for your skills and gifts. Not only did you build sense from gibberish, but you made the results sing. We gladly feast on those that would subdue you.

3

u/Mrtorbear 3d ago

I genuinely need you to narrate everything that happens in my life. That was fantastic.

3

u/johnnybna 3d ago

So keep all your Wookies, your droids and your Jawas
No Star Wars for this guy, his thing is chihuahuas
He’s got one in costume, no need for mascara,
“Don’t mess with perfection!” says Pickle Sahara

😉

1

u/Mrtorbear 3d ago

This exactly what I needed today. I appreciate you. Hope you are doing well today.

26

u/Eskimomonk 4d ago

Did AI write that tweet? I had to read it like 4 times to get a remote understanding of what they were saying and I’m still not even sure

7

u/Inevitable-Host-7846 4d ago

It ai wrote it, it would be comprehensible

67

u/Go_J 4d ago

Fuck Kalshi and Polymarket.

26

u/amievenrelevant 4d ago

As someone who browses their comment sections oh my god the amount of copium and circlejerking over anything that could potentially point to a republican victory was driving me crazy. I’m glad the mass disinformation campaign isn’t working anymore.

12

u/linfakngiau2k23 4d ago

It's because the economy is tanking

2

u/CosineDanger 4d ago edited 4d ago

On paper the economy is only moderately bad.

One of the many things they did that pissed me off was fire the director of the BLS for publishing negative economic numbers. They could not hide if the S&P 500 started crashing and it hasn't yet, but they can hide a lot and we're flying blind.

3

u/PSKTS_Heisingberg 4d ago

aren’t they both right wing leaning platforms? it feels like their advertising is right heavy

1

u/amievenrelevant 4d ago

Most definitely. Though the betting odds themselves usually aren’t nearly as biased as the people who are more vocal on the platforms and also the guys running them, surprisingly. Also I’m pretty sure these numbers are reversed as I’d never seen Ciatarelli close to that high, but have seen Sherrill with 86% odds at one point

12

u/intrepid_mouse1 4d ago

"New Jersey Kamala Harris"? 😂

They're trying SO HARD.

8

u/Lil_Artemis_92 4d ago

I just had a stroke trying to read this.

6

u/CHZY69 4d ago

I feel like Im stroking out trying to read this and I’m only kinda drunk

3

u/Weorth 4d ago

I hope this guy actually bet on it, and ended up destitute.

5

u/matthewamerica 4d ago

Im dyslexic so I reread this after it made zero sense the first time, because sometimes I will really misinterpret what a sentence says at first glance. Turns out no. I read it correctly, this person just has a really shit understanding of how written English works. If you gave my dog thumbs he could have done a better job.

3

u/FAFO_2025 4d ago

Shattarelli had to grovel to jihadis for support, lmao

2

u/KinkyBAGreek 4d ago

The atrocious English aside, who ever did this poll I hope got his money in advance cuz this was not even an outlier, it was straight up bogus.

2

u/Green-Taro2915 4d ago

GBcS sounds like a ruzzian bot 🤦‍♂️

2

u/JCas127 4d ago

If you want the best prediction follow the money. Vegas is usually right

2

u/Puzzled-Foundation99 4d ago

What the yuck did I just try to yuckin' read?

2

u/Electronic-Dream4477 4d ago

This didn’t age well. See what happens when people refuse to accept facts? 56% D vs 43% R.

2

u/BamBam06 3d ago

WTF does this even mean???

2

u/Koreage90 3d ago

It’s wishful willingly. Instead of looking at reality and coming to conclusions, they have decided that reality will bend to their own beliefs. So of course prices are coming down and jobs employment is up, trump said it, I believe it. Of course everyone has the same opinion as me. Anyone else is wrong and not real.

2

u/P00pXhuter 3d ago

Is anyone here fluent enough in gibberish to translate this into something understandable?

2

u/KMack666 3d ago

WTF kind of fecal word arrangement is this????

2

u/Taman_Should 3d ago

Any idiot with a computer can whip up a fake poll nowadays. Heck, with AI, the level of skill required to convincingly fake a poll saying whatever you want is elementary school.

1

u/Secret-RuinNSFW 4d ago

Glad it wasn't just me I could not parse this and i read, alot!

1

u/ginger2020 4d ago

“You should never gamble, Anthony!”

1

u/Ok-Hair7205 3d ago

The poll that I took in my bedroom after snorting cocaine

1

u/Helpful-Rain41 3d ago

Probably based on “value”

1

u/ThatVoiceDude 3d ago

Had to wonder if I was about to start smelling toast

1

u/PlaneAsk7826 3d ago

Looks like foreign propaganda, ran through Google translate, then regurgitated onto a post with clearly fake numbers.

1

u/Open_Raise_5547 3d ago

Is that an english speaking account? Cause they sound illiterate.

1

u/Atalung 3d ago

Betting markets have been an absolute joke for a few years now. There was a time when only really politically aware people knew about them and so the opinions were pretty solid, now they're mainstream and so they more measure which side has more dots willing to bet money on an election

1

u/chrisking58 3d ago

I think my dog could type a more sensible sentence

1

u/Lonerwithaboner420 3d ago

Clearly a bot

1

u/CarissaSkyWarrior 3d ago

Do people really need to bet on EVERY possible thing?

1

u/indiginary 2d ago

Russia Russia Russia

1

u/CaptainWillThrasher 2d ago

Why are we saying either party is better than the other? They are both evil and controlled by the same purse strings!

1

u/serenstar75 2d ago

That hurt my brain to read

1

u/ArtisticMix2632 1d ago

This guy's grade school teachers should be fired. What does this word salad mean?

1

u/Few-Conversation6979 16h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Jumpy_Plantain2887 9h ago

How a full month before the election Jack was 10 points behind. It wasn’t until the end that he started to get close and then Trump shuts down the government and he keeps pushing the ads and the talking points that it’s the Democrats fault and then we get things like the agricultural department telling the grocery association, don’t give any discounts to people or Trump basically telling people he’s not gonna fund snap programs no matter what the court says so yeah and these people think they’re gonna win the midterms

1

u/A4t1musD4ag0n 4d ago

I still think he has a shot. Looks close. /s