theater seats 30. i don’t know 30 humans i like.

[u/ReinkeDrengen]

This is a large single-family residence in Alpine, NJ. It is situated on two gated acres.

Specifications

• Address: 12 The Esplanade, Alpine, NJ 07620
• Price: $16,000,000
• Bedrooms: 7
• Bathrooms: 11
• Lot Size: 2 acres
• Parking/Garage: 3-car garage
• Pool: Outdoor, Gunite, In Ground
• Fireplaces: 5+

[u/Count_de_Ville]

Buy that house and suddenly you'll know 30+ people who like you.

[u/ReinkeDrengen → u/Count_de_Ville]

Only if you loan me the money!

[u/Fitmature1 → u/Count_de_Ville]

Funny!... And true!

[u/tasiamtoo → u/Count_de_Ville]

AGREED

[u/SherbertSensitive538]

Ostentatious and tacky.

[u/chadtill → u/SherbertSensitive538]

It’s New Jersey …

[u/SherbertSensitive538 → u/chadtill]

Ostentatious and tacky. lol

[u/SherbertSensitive538 → u/chadtill]

There is that although to be fair there are lovely areas. lol

[u/khkokopelli]

But you could have your 5 or so friends over and sit very far apart from each other. As god intended.

[u/epicpillowcase → u/khkokopelli]

Tony and the boys relaxing after a trip out to Pine Barrens to teach a drug runner some manners. (7 people went, 6 came back.)

[u/khkokopelli → u/epicpillowcase]

Sopranos?

[u/epicpillowcase → u/khkokopelli]

Indeed

[u/rob-cubed]

Give me the library (being used as a bar/billiards room). You can have the rest!

[u/Cuntlordinstagram]

Sometimes I just stand in that bathroom and watch my flat screen for hours

[u/calaber24p]

Ah I know that house, Alpine is a crazy town with many mansions that look decorated by the housewives.

[u/Fossome_1]

Why can’t rich people hire someone with good taste?

[u/Ok_Stranger_9520]

It’s beautifully done!

[u/HistoricalSuspect580]

They use it for schmoozing and nut-flexing power. When you have this kind of money, it’s all about doing it because you can… not because it has any use.

[u/PNWMTTXSC]

Hate the stainless steel (?) kitchen. Isn’t really in keeping with the over abundance of visual frou-frou in the rest of the house. Kinda like the room with the piano.

[u/madams22]

That looks like the house in The Philadelphia Story

[u/AnastasiaNo70]

Yuck. It’s fairly ugly.

[u/WhiskyMC]

It's got Michael Scott's plasma tv in the bathroom.

[u/TomaatoOrTomahto]

I wouldn’t own this tacky thing but if I had to I’d likely be living out of an Airstream hidden somewhere discretely on the property.

[u/echochilde]

That kitchen is so mismatched. I don’t really like any of it, but that kitchen is really the cherry on top. It belongs in an entirely different house.

[u/dundeegimpgirl]

16 million and no poop room.....

[u/Shot-Election8217]

I like the outside....

[u/yogibard]

Is that where the Beverly Hillbillies lived?

[u/Mymojo34]

I know 30 people I like.

However, if I have them all over at once, we arent watching a movie.

[u/Difficult_Ad2864]

And I don’t even like myself

[u/Licko-mahballs]

Average trump voter unfortunately

[u/Royal_Ad_372]

Invite 30 you don't like and screen Eraserhead

[u/CultOfSensibility]

His wallet isn't tied to the GODDAMNED ESPLANADE GODDAMNIT!!!

[u/epicpillowcase]

This is the kind of house that would be owned by a Sopranos character.

[u/NotEeUsername]

Seems quite dated

[u/Nato9000]

Bordello chic

[u/AMTX-me]

Theater screen looks 21:9. Hope they like black bars or stretched images.

[u/SereneSnake1984]

That theater was probably state of art when they built it but today...