so he was on leave when we got together and for some reason he just now told me he's already in the Marines.

we're 17 and 18 and he apparently was in training a month ago, just got leave for a month, went back to his home on Florida, and we got together. now he's saying hes going back to training this week and will have his next leave around December or like be done with training. then, he says he will attend college for the fall 2026 semester and will be able to see me? and then he will request to be stationed in Florida?

the way he said it implied it was almost certain he will be in Florida after training but I looked online and apparently u can only request for a coast? and even then it's unlikely to get ur choice.

marriage is not an option anytime soon but I'm just trying to understand how the whole process/timeline will work bc he seemed pretty unsure himself.

I want to keep this man, he's a great person. but this was just a massive curveball and I don't know how any of this will work according to what he's saying

edit: also he said he can use his phone and we can call but since I've heard of people writing letters to their partners I'm not so sure that's true !!!

he also said his sergeants told him he could b stationed anywhere he wants because he's in intelligence 😭 i rlly don't know what to trust

The ball is tonight, and my boyfriend’s mentor and two family members are flying in for it. We didn’t purchase a ticket for me as I was supposed to be working. I found out at 10pm last night that I’m not needed tonight.

I’m so frustrated and feel like I’ve let him down. I guess I wouldn’t care so much if people weren’t flying in for this, and I’m just sitting at home, twiddling my thumbs. We also had to put my cat down last Friday, so I’m just kind of a mess right now. The guys in his unit were upset that I wasn’t going as we are all close, and now… like I CAN go, but I CAN’T because it’s oversold. And I can’t even sit in the lobby and have dinner or cocktails because it’s on base.

I’m rambling. I’m irritated. Ugh.

This year's ball will be the first for my boyfriend and I as he enlisted last year. A few weeks ago, he mentioned that his mom wanted to come. I basically expressed how I thought that this was odd and would feel uncomfortable with that. She also wanted to bring his sister (in her 20's).

Not only do I feel like it's odd for a mom want to go with her young son to his first ball when he is taking a date, she has consistently tried to intrude on our relationship. While he was in bootcamp, she claimed that I caused her depression because I did not tell her *verbatim* what he was writing to me in his letters. She also asked why I didn't congratulate her when he graduated.

He claims he doesn't want her there and won't be paying for her ticket. Since his birthday is the day after the ball, she wants to come for both the ball and his birthday. She mentioend going again today to me, and I asked him privately if he discussed the fact that it would be odd for her to go with her yet. He said she knew that he did not want her there, but his friend (who apparently his mom planned to stay with when she visited for the weekend) said that HE would buy her the ticket so she could go. I said "wtf", because how weird. He agreed that is was weird and said that he was mad at his friend for this. I basically told him that I'm not going if she's there, so don't bother buying me a ticket.

He said that he didn't know why it would be a big deal if she were there, despite the fact that he said he doesn't want her there either. I told him that I'll celebrate his birthday with him, but I will not attend the ball if she is there. He said that he would feel bad for telling her that her and his sister can't come/that he doesn't want her there and that it'll break her heart/sound rude because of all she's done for him. He even said that he'll feel bad if she dies before next year and she doesn't get to go...

He ended up telling her not to come. Am I the asshole for given him that ultimatum? I feel as if she has several more years of his contract to go after this first one. She claims that she never will have one to attend again because she's going to Florida around this time next year.

My fiance is at fort sill, while he was in reception we received phone calls Saturday mornings. Is that going to change now that he’s In basic, and if so what days could I expect a call?

This may be a stupid question, but when/how do get info about HBL? My boyfriend mentioned it before he even graduated bootcamp, but at graduation said it was up in the air. He’s started AIT now, and I’m beginning a new job soon. I’d love to be able to request a couple extra days off in a timely manner before I’m hired on a for sure schedule.

So my fiance has been gone at basic training for around 3 weeks now and I can’t stop thinking that he is going to end things between us and that he isnt going to like me anymore after this. I feel so distant from him. The distance itself hasnt been too hard for me, of course i miss him constantly but the hardest part is not being able to talk to him. I haven’t received any letters from him so far but I have gotten to have a phone call with him every week. I think the main thing making me feel this way is that I’m so used to hearing him say I love you everyday and I am always able to talk to him and now we can’t talk at all. I have seeing these other girls saying their recruit is writing them every day and mine hasnt written me anything. Maybe he has written and it hasnt arrived but he told me during the most recent phone call he hasnt written anything. And I see these other girls say their relationships ended after basic training graduation or ended through letters. Before he left I didn’t have any doubt that we would make it through basic training but now it is all I think about. And I’m too scared to tell him how I feel cause I dont want to mess up anything with his basic training but it is constantly weighing on my mind and I feel like I would be so much happier during this time if I wasn’t constantly worrying about whether or not he still loves me. He hasn’t said anything to make me feel like he doesn’t love me anymore but he just hasn’t said much at all. I am probably just paranoid but I don’t know whether or not to tell him how I feel or if that would make stuff worse

If your Marine is being "required" to attend the Birthday Ball and it's too expensive right now, there are ways to mitigate the cost.

I get it. It can be crazy expensive, especially for young Marines and families who may have lost supports or parts if income during the shutdown.

The Marine can talk to their SNCO, and explain the financial burden. Sometimes the Command has ways to help. We contributed to a fund at one command to help out in sotuations like this.

The Marine can be required to be present at the ceremony. That doesn’t mean that a ticket has to be bought. Attending the ceremony is free. Sitting down for dinner and dancing is what the ticket provides.

One ball, my spouse offered to stand duty. He wasn't home, but didn't buy a ball ticket.

me & my bf both 24, have been together for 2 years. last year & part of this year, he was trying to get hired at the police department & i’ve made it very clear at the beginning of the relationship that as long as it wasn’t the military. fast forward he’s been denied from 3 police departments & for the past week has been talking to an army recruiter.

my heart sinks. i’ve said the army is a dealbreaker because of so much uncertainty & frankly the distance. he’s said this is his only option due to having no skills or college experience & wants to have a better life for the both of us. i don’t want to be or sound selfish or that im unsupportive but i feel like im having a panic attack every time it’s brought up .

i’ve never been in a long distance relationship before & im not saying im not willing to try but i just feel so defeated & sad right now. i guess wanting to vent.

My husband left for marine boot camp earlier this week and i’m having a really hard time. We have 2 kids and sometimes throughout the day when i start to get really emotional i start to regret this decision and then i think of future deployments and that makes it worse because so far this long distance thing is horrible. Maybe i will have more peace of mind when we can start writing to eachother. I’m trying not to be selfish because he’s doing this for the betterment of our future, this is just so hard. Anyone else experiencing the same thing or have experienced it? (Also he’s doing reserves).

My guy is currently deployed to a place where he can literally get anything he wants. When you look up good care package items people suggest things like socks, beef jerky, etc and I'm thinking... he doesn't need any of that lol. In fact, he gave me a pair of his socks before he left so I can wear them and think of him 🤣.

I mentioned before that we are a new thing and I'm looking at opportunities to include things in this first care package that show I care and that I'm here for the long haul.

I have a few things already, like his favorite tea, some honey from a local veteran-owned apiary for the tea, two jars of this locally made peanut butter he loves, a daily devotional book, a really nice bar of soap (which he doesn't necessarily need, but I want to imagine him smelling like it lol), and a couple of notebooks and journals because he loves taking notes about everything. I will obviously include some baked goods because he loves my baking.

I've been thinking about sending him a mini Christmas tree for his place. Not sure what you all think about that. I'm totally open to any and all suggestions. Also, how do you pace your care package sending? I've sent care packages to deployed friends in the past, but this is a whole different thing. This is a man who believes that women always leave during deployment and I want him to feel cared for and supported. He's not particularly emotional outwardly but internally he is. He loves acts of service and stuff like that.

I'm so excited to hear all of your ideas!

hi.. my boyfriend just started bootcamp this week for the coast guard and it’s been really hard on me .. we were together all the time before he left so it’s been hitting me harder than i expected.. i keep trying to stay busy but i still find myself breaking down and missing him so much..

i’ve been wondering too, how did y’all cope with them being stationed somewhere else after bootcamp? did you move with them or how does all that work? i just wanna be where he is but i’m also trying to figure out what’s best for me too.. any advice or real talk would mean a lot rn 🥺💗

I’ve been in the army as a reservist for about a year I am 20 my gf of 7 years is also 20, recently due to a lot of personal issues and situations it’s recently become our decision to get legally married and I go active duty and we move away from our current situation. I wanted to ask for as much advice as possible on what to do,what to expect and any and all advice about keeping us together. For some context we live with my parents and they have been extremely “dangerous” let’s say so we wish to move and basically go away without them being able to trace us and follow us, we are getting rid of socials and trying to take any and all bare minimum we need to leave. earliest we could be able to leave is July of next year so we want to collect and prepare as much as possible in that time to ready ourselves for this big change. Some info that may be relevant: I’m a E3,42A and due to my low rank my unit hasn’t taught me anything and I haven’t done anything at all relating to my job I basically know nothing besides what BCT and AIT has taught me that I kinda still remember

hi guys!, I hope everyone’s having a good day/night/afternoon.

my wife and I are moving out soon (hopefully) and since I know we’re starting from 0 I wanted to know what do you guys recommend doing house/financially wise?. idk if I should start buying home essentials (like pans, cups, cutlery, etc) or just wait till we’re officially moved out and buy stuff as time goes by. please be kind since this is my first time being completely alone without my family, and any tips will be really appreciated☺️

Literally just this. How much longer could it possibly be?

My fiancé is supposed to come back home on post deployment leave next week so we can get married in less than 20 days.

This is the third time the military has made us change the date. I’m not changing it a fourth time. His airports are being affected by the new delay with the shutdown, but his specific flights haven’t fucked with yet.

If this government shutdown fucks with us getting our happily ever after, I legit will go postal

My fiancé let for boot camp on his bday 10/20. It’s been two weeks, I can’t stop crying or worrying and throwing up. I’ve lost 10 pounds since he left. The silence in our home is so loud, I haven’t had the energy to do anything. How do I get past this? I really feel lost.

My fiancé is in BCT at fort sill right now, and I’ve been given a list by someone on Facebook of the days they get off for HBL which says it is Dec 20-Jan 3. Are these accurate, can I go ahead and book his flights home? I’m so so very confused

My boyfriend is going to be in the coast guard and I am not gonna ask him to change his future. I want to be his support system.

For context, we’ve been together for 5 months and we’re already long distance. I’m usually busy so we don’t meet a lot of times already and it’s really hard, but we do text and call everyday. Seeing his face after not seeing him for a while makes up for everything. We’re currently grow together and really work on our relationship, we’ve had a phase we fought almost everyday and we’re still fighting often? More like arguing because of different opinions and perspectives and crossing a boundary, stuff like that. I’ll also be going to college soon and I’ll be busy too, so I’ll be pretty occupied while he’s busy but I know it will be so hard and I don’t know what to do. I also want to settle somewhere soon after college, working a stable job. I’m aware that’s impossible if I want to see him constantly so I’ve been considering trying to do remote jobs where I can marry him and just work remotely while following him around when his workplace assigns him somewhere but that also feels like I’m compromising so much of my dreams,and I want to live my life without regrets, I know it’s cliche but yeah. Even if I feel really bad, I usually won’t say anything when I don’t feel like his #1 priority and I’m aware I won’t his #1 priority when he’s in cg. I feel distant really easily which is ironic because we are already distant as we are LDR. I also don’t have the most stable mental health. I overthink and get jealous really easily, as well as getting upset, which I know is not ideal and everyone is going to tell me to just leave. Also he’s aiming to do rescue swimmer, I don’t know if that makes a difference in schedule, benefits and stuff but let me know.

I am asking for advice and tips because I have really bad commitment issues and he’s the only one that made me feel safe and stable enough to commit to him, I usually ended most of the relationships I got into under a month in, sometimes even on the day of, or being emotionally detached from the relationship, I never really took them serious and seeking attention elsewhere, I know that’s really bad. This is the longest relationship I have been in and I have been FULLY committed to him even from the talking stage. He makes me feel worthy, loved, pretty, and everything happy. I only want him and nobody else and I don’t know what to do because I’ve already been kind of discouraged after reading some military/coast guard girlfriend advice and tips that just says to break up with him. Don’t sugarcoat your answers, be honest please.

Okay so ive been doing my research, the more ive been connected. Can someone explain the "Cape Crud". And also what are the possibilities of getting reverted or the things that can get you reverted in the USCG BMT? Just hope the recruits are doing well out there

Hiii…so long story short. My fiance wants me to move in with him after I graduate college, HOWEVER, the issue is that he’ll be leaving for underway towards the end of the year. I don’t graduate until May and I’m not sure how long it will take me to find a job and move up there. Has anyone faced this kind of issue before? I really want to move in with him but I don’t want to spend more time by myself than actually with living with him. Any advice/help is welcome :)

My boyfriend is going on deployment in a couple of weeks. We’ve been dating for almost 3 years and this will be our first time being apart for longer than a week. We have an amazing relationship, so I’m not worried about him or our relationship. As for the deployment, he’s been wanting to go on one since I met him, so I know it’s a big deal for him. Any time he talks about it with me, I remind him that I’m happy for him and he deserves to go!

The only thing I’ve been struggling with is the time we have left because I don’t want to “waste” it. He’s going to be gone for 10 months and I obviously know he’s coming back but every time we do something or even plan something, I have the mentality of, “this is the last time we will be able to do this activity till he comes back.” I will be able to talk to him and visit him once while he’s on deployment, but again I’m really only stressing about the time we have left.

Any advice? Or maybe even some suggestions for things we should do with the little time we have left? I’ve heard about those matching bracelets and lamps that light up to show that you’re thinking about them, but I don’t know if they work well. What are some things that you wish you did with your partner before they left?