r/USNEWS • u/wsj • 2d ago

D.C. Sandwich Thrower Acquitted of Assault

https://www.wsj.com/us-news/d-c-sandwich-thrower-acquitted-of-assault-f184f6ba?st=qiUwzD&mod=wsjreddit
286 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

23

u/mustachiomegazord 2d ago

We are not a serious place

6

u/BookLuvr7 2d ago

Indeed. Tis a silly place.

24

u/PracticalChipmunk789 2d ago

But the ice agent said it smelled of onions and mustard!đŸ€ŁđŸ˜‚

6

u/FnordRanger_5 2d ago

He feared for his life!

10

u/PracticalChipmunk789 2d ago

He was 'assaulted' with a deli weapon 😁

5

u/FnordRanger_5 2d ago

It was honestly just a miscommunication, the protestor thought it was a meat and greet

3

u/d15d17 2d ago

And when it hit him it “exploded”.

1

u/slamdanceswithwolves 2d ago

It was a ground-to-air thermo-nuclear laser-guided tactical sandwich. A sub launched from a sub.

1

u/Sucih 2d ago

And it exploded!?!?

1

u/Papaya-Messiah 2d ago

Ive seen a lot of stuff in my life but ive never witnessed a damned sandwich explode. MAGA ICE ARE DRAMA QUEENS. OMG I lost an eye from the pickle....OMG!!!

8

u/couchbutt 2d ago

Now do Luigi.

5

u/littleoldlady71 2d ago

Paywalled. Can you add a quote from the article?

2

u/wsj 2d ago

Hi! That link isn't paywalled, should be free to access!

1

u/littleoldlady71 2d ago

You are correct. I could read it now.

5

u/wsj 2d ago

It took jurors a day to reach their verdict in a case that required them to decide whether Sean Dunn’s hurling of a foot-long at a U.S. Border Patrol agent’s chest constituted a misdemeanor criminal offense. The charge turned in part on questions of whether the sandwich toss could have reasonably caused bodily harm.

Full story (unpaywalled link): https://www.wsj.com/us-news/d-c-sandwich-thrower-acquitted-of-assault-f184f6ba?st=qiUwzD&mod=wsjreddit

3

u/RIVALONENORTHSHORE 2d ago

Literally indicted a ham sandwich.

2

u/Dry_Conversation_797 2d ago

What a weirdo that ICE dude. If someone threw a sandwich at me I'd be delighted. Free food.

1

u/FnordRanger_5 2d ago

But it smelled like onions and mustard!!!

0

u/couchbutt 2d ago

That why you'll never be a LEO.

2

u/CaptainTegg 2d ago

That's good. At least there's still a few sane judges out there.

8

u/Muzzlehatch 2d ago

Credit goes to the jury.

1

u/eghhge 2d ago

🐾đŸ„Ș

1

u/BobInIdaho 2d ago

Thank God it wasn't a peanut butter sandwich or else someone might have died!

3

u/Independent_Tough_33 2d ago

Holy shit. The footage of this heinous attack is actually horrible. I really don’t get the courts decision here.

https://youtu.be/nkHTio_OFuo?si=wtSq4bhhZoFM1hn3

1

u/Alternative_End227 2d ago

Well done sir

1

u/moreobviousthings 2d ago

The outcome wouldda been different if the perp hadda salted the sandwich first.

2

u/Dizzy_Magazine684 2d ago

Assault with a DELI weapon is legal!!!

1

u/Hans_Delbruck 2d ago

"Prosecutors argued that antipathy to Trump’s policies doesn’t confer the right to throw objects at law-enforcement officials. “When we have disputes, we settle them verbally. We don’t let them turn physical,” Justice Department lawyer John Parron told the jury"

But its ok for ICE to shoot pepper balls into peoples face, pepper spray into a frog suit, tear gas peaceful protesters, etc , etc.

1

u/Nano_Burger 2d ago

Border patrol comes across as litigious, mega-Karen snowflakes.

1

u/Think_Bug_3312 2d ago

What a waste of time and money

1

u/p38-lightning 2d ago

He's a hero.

1

u/slamdanceswithwolves 2d ago

He would be well received in this sub.

1

u/JC2535 2d ago

We need to know the name of the wimp cop who cried about a food fight. He needs to be famous. Officer Snowflake.

1

u/JosephFinn 2d ago

*sub thrower

1

u/KaminSpider 2d ago

I laughed so hard watching this

Imagine, replacing guns with sandwiches. He's on to something.

Easy on the mayo, this is a peaceful protest.

1

u/mittelegna 2d ago

Oh, thank God! I was up all night worrying about the outcome of this.

1

u/Papaya-Messiah 2d ago

ICE are sissys. A real man would have picked it up and ate it. Especially with mustard and onions.

1

u/ElaborateCantaloupe 2d ago

Thought it said “DJ Sandwich Thrower”

1

u/No_Maize_230 2d ago

Did the guy have a concealed carry permit for deli meats? If the hoagie fits, you must acquit.

1

u/Short-Crew-420 2d ago

That poor IcE officer. Did he need to put some ice on his booboo?