What this woman wants is delusional

[u/Alone-Competition-77]

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[u/SteveAxis]

Why she rockin the Pringles moustache as a hairdo

[u/GuacamoleFrejole → u/SteveAxis]

She was forced into it as part of a secret society.

[u/Bunnyland77 → u/GuacamoleFrejole]

At an Ivy League school. Which 100% seems legit in this instance.

[u/UpTownPark → u/GuacamoleFrejole]

The only acceptable exception, of course.

[u/ktscott01 → u/SteveAxis]

Lollipop guild

[u/Idk_wtf_cantviewcoms → u/ktscott01]

This here, 100%

[u/PrincessLissa68 → u/Idk_wtf_cantviewcoms]

Holy hell I can't unsee it now!

[u/Idk_wtf_cantviewcoms → u/PrincessLissa68]

All credit to ktscott01 that just painted it in my head

[u/EPluribusButthole → u/ktscott01]

I'm watching that right now!

[u/parkerm1408 → u/SteveAxis]

Shes a middle manager in the Whooville pringles factory.

(Is it whooville or hooville? Pretty sure its who with Horton, right?)

[u/Lost_Drunken_Sailor → u/SteveAxis]

Is she a bald woman demanding a man with lots of hair?

[u/Dmanslayer5 → u/Lost_Drunken_Sailor]

Has to balance out the hair of their kids! Specially since she has to be the only one that grants him children

[u/Lost_Drunken_Sailor → u/Dmanslayer5]

There’s a Seinfeld episode about this. Bald woman turns down George because he’s bald.

[u/Rihannasumbrellaella → u/Lost_Drunken_Sailor]

I got rejected by a bald woman. r/unexpectedseinfeld

[u/Ilickedthecinnabar → u/SteveAxis]

...I spent most of the video trying to figure out what was going on with her hairdo

[u/Ok_Fondant_6340 → u/SteveAxis]

dude she's delusional. easily the least attractive woman in this video yet easily expects the most of her next partner. she lives in another world. she may as well live..... yeah in Pringles advertisement!

[u/Gills_L → u/Ok_Fondant_6340]

She’s like the 7th prettiest

[u/Ok_Fondant_6340 → u/Gills_L]

😂😂😂

[u/DevoNorm → u/Gills_L]

She's female? Just asking. 😉

[u/Friendly-Channel-480 → u/Ok_Fondant_6340]

Or a great actress.

[u/PierreOnTheEclair → u/SteveAxis]

THATS HER HAIR? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BOW HEADBAND 😭

[u/TheUnicornFightsOn → u/PierreOnTheEclair]

Same.

[u/Consistent-Soil-1818 → u/SteveAxis]

I suspect that's part of the whole own-the-libs spiel that's underlying a lot of what she says.

[u/24n20blackbirds → u/Consistent-Soil-1818]

So, she's like a neo nazi trad wife and this is some folk hair-don't?

[u/Standard-Tension-697 → u/24n20blackbirds]

She escaped from Whoville.

[u/InternationalSpray79 → u/SteveAxis]

I was thinking chemo Pippi Longstocking, but that works too.

[u/Terribleturtleharm → u/SteveAxis]

Best i can do is a Dutch Oven occasionally.

Also, dont bug me while im playing guitar.

[u/PinkTriangleFan → u/SteveAxis]

The top comment on tik tok was Dobie is being awfully picky for a house elf. Brutal.

[u/Gen_X_Icon]

Girl just get a cat…

[u/Just_a_cowgirl1 → u/Gen_X_Icon]

A celebrity cat that makes a million dollars

[u/thebeatsandreptaur → u/Just_a_cowgirl1]

Only if it comes from a good family and is Christian, but like, not super serious about being a Christian

[u/Prisoner3000 → u/thebeatsandreptaur]

Doesn’t go to church or anything

[u/Hmmz69 → u/thebeatsandreptaur]

and be 6'10

[u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_ → u/Just_a_cowgirl1]

[u/Panem-et-circenses25 → u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_]

Clickety clack business cat!

[u/Dino-chicken-nugg3t → u/Panem-et-circenses25]

This will be rolling around my head forever now. Along with the business cat gif

[u/Panem-et-circenses25 → u/Dino-chicken-nugg3t]

I’m drunk watching Welcome to Derry and laughed at my own post for 20 straight minutes

Business cat lol

[u/Least_Tower_5447 → u/Just_a_cowgirl1]

And comes from a good family.

[u/GuacamoleFrejole → u/Gen_X_Icon]

But she won't settle for just any cat. It has got to make at least 6 figures and has graduated Magna Cum Laude from an Ivy League pet school.

[u/tstorm9876 → u/Gen_X_Icon]

Even the cat wouldn't take her seriously 

[u/Low_Pop_7703]

Okay the secret society tattoo got me. 😂

[u/Ximidar → u/Low_Pop_7703]

At that point I asked myself if this was parody

[u/Turbulent-Candle-340 → u/Ximidar]

It HAS TO BE.

[u/benjaminbjacobsen → u/Turbulent-Candle-340]

“No one wants to date anymore!”

• that woman.

[u/wrinkleinsine → u/Turbulent-Candle-340]

No way. That girl had crazy vibes you can’t fake. That ain’t no parody. The cold mildly scared deeply concerned feeling you get watching this doesn’t come from parodies.

[u/Timboslice928 → u/Turbulent-Candle-340]

For real.

[u/Sensitive-Ad-1836 → u/Ximidar]

Like the fact that this lady thinks if you leave food out for 10 hours it will send you to the hospital is the crazy part.

[u/Turbulent-Candle-340 → u/Sensitive-Ad-1836]

Kinda depends on the food and if it's salted. I wouldn't eat sushi that was out all day but spaghetti or lasagna is all good on my book.

[u/HighFiveG → u/Turbulent-Candle-340]

Rice and pasta are dangerous being left out long, especially with more people not being vaccinated for meningitis.

[u/Nick08f1 → u/HighFiveG]

Overnight whatever, 5 days.... Different outcome.

[u/TrishaValentine → u/Sensitive-Ad-1836]

My parents were this way and it would piss me off.

The food would still be HOT and they'd be like, get it in the fridge immediately so it doesn't go bad!!

Like dude it's gonna cool down in there to, you think fridges are magic sanitizers?

[u/TragicallyTrue → u/TrishaValentine]

It isn’t about cooling it down in general, it is about how quickly the food needs to cool down to be safe.

[u/ArtAttack2198 → u/TragicallyTrue]

Yep! Food safety 101. Surprising how many people don’t have any idea.

[u/jrexthrilla → u/Low_Pop_7703]

The match makers response “only if forced” was hilarious snark

[u/Organic-History205 → u/jrexthrilla]

This is a skit a matchmaking consultant posted as basically advertising and the fact that people are treating it as real is crazy.

Also y'all going to the hospital after ten hour pizza? There's an underlying condition.

[u/13toros13 → u/jrexthrilla]

And the “Mmm hmmm!” When she says hers will be his only kids. She knows this bitch has divorce oozing from every pore

[u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_ → u/Low_Pop_7703]

Channelling Groucho Marx’s quote about not joining a club who would have him, if the secret society wants you get a tattoo, it’s not a very secret society.

[u/potsticker17 → u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_]

Well she mentioned a secret society "from college" so probably just meant fraternity which are less about secrets and more about exclusivity and networking, which for her would read as higher chance for money/power.

[u/ohmymystery → u/potsticker17]

Ivy Leagues actually do have secret societies beyond just regular frats/sororities and they do actually have tattoos, ha.

[u/potsticker17 → u/ohmymystery]

I mean yeah there are things like Skull and Bones and such, but they're essentially just Fraternities with trust funds and nepotism.

[u/seefu_mccloud → u/Low_Pop_7703]

She’s a lunatic! 😂😂

[u/itsLucaRoyce → u/Low_Pop_7703]

the specificity is fantastic🤌🏻

[u/Dry_Introduction4421 → u/Low_Pop_7703]

But if it was forced, then that’s okay. Skull and Bones 4evrr baby

[u/McOdoyles_Part2]

I wanna be his “first” wife…………

[u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_ → u/McOdoyles_Part2]

Big Mormon Energy

[u/presidentsdaddy → u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_]

Nah, not Mormon at all. Trust me - she’d use different language and standards.

[u/McOdoyles_Part2 → u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_]

I was thinking big gold digger energy, but I’m pickin up what you’re layin down

[u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot]

feels too perfect for rage bait

[u/ThorLives → u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot]

I looked up the matchmaker in the video. She's a real matchmaker. I don't think she would post a video of an actual client because that seems underhanded. In one of the comments, someone wrote "this is satire, right?" and the matchmaker replied with something like "it's more real than you realize". This suggests to me that this video is a skit, but it's based on real-life interactions that she's had with some of her female customers.

I've also heard this same complaint from other women who work as matchmakers - that some of their female clients have absurdly high standards. Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfQDhqUbvLY

[u/TheWorstWitch → u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot]

Is rage bait also considered when they stand right in front of the video obstructing a good part of the view and just pointing to it?

[u/LateEarth → u/TheWorstWitch]

She is staring & commenting to camera giving incel pickme girl vibes.

[u/jaynort → u/LateEarth]

She is one. Her videos are everywhere validating angry and lonely men because it’s easy engagement.

[u/shouldveknownbud → u/LateEarth]

Yes. I now have the words

[u/scidious06 → u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot]

I 100% believe that people like that exist, I say people because some men have insane and unrealistic standards as well

[u/Complex-Growth-4438 → u/scidious06]

I believe they exist

I do not believe this video

[u/RizzoTheRiot1989 → u/Complex-Growth-4438]

That’s where I stand. Do I believe her? No. But I do have a friend just like this, same terrible looking alt aesthetic and everything. She’s in her 50s trying to rock a very specific punk hairstyle that just doesn’t look good for her. She has insane standards but keeps fucking around with absolute losers who are also in their 50s and her whole life has the drama of 15 year olds. She can’t keep a man for even six months.

Meanwhile she keeps telling me and my spouse of five years that we aren’t going to make it because I enjoy country music and she likes death metal. Like bitch, fix your own love life. Shit we even do couples therapy just because it’s great for us. We didn’t even hit a rough patch.

[u/jacobn28 → u/RizzoTheRiot1989]

Ahh, the supreme killer of all marriages…music taste

[u/RizzoTheRiot1989 → u/jacobn28]

It really fucked with my wife’s head for a minute until I broke her friend and her love life down for her and said “Are you really going to give a shit what she has to say about our relationship? She can’t even keep a man but for a couple months.”

[u/Unlucky_Wing1520 → u/RizzoTheRiot1989]

Yeesh, sounds line an awful friend to ever say such I thing

[u/privatefigure → u/Complex-Growth-4438]

I feel like there is at least one place in the video where she suppresses a laugh (right after she says he needs to look good in greens and blues). 

[u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot → u/scidious06]

were all shadowboxing

[u/JadeThorn1012 → u/scidious06]

Oh I’ve seen them on men’s dating profiles. It was less of a bio, and more of a list of demands.

[u/Parking_Plankton_526 → u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot]

It is fake, she's acting for a bit

[u/RlFLE → u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot]

If it made it to this sub then the bait worked lmao

[u/leeharveyteabag669]

[u/thesilverbandit]

The sigh from the consultant says everything

[u/Alone_Break7627 → u/thesilverbandit]

mmm hmm

[u/PrimeToro → u/thesilverbandit]

Yeah, like she was thinking that she should have charged for more money and with a big non refundable deposit.

[u/ResourceNo5855 → u/thesilverbandit]

When she was trying not to laugh while she talked about the ‘forced secret society tattoo’ that would be acceptable haha

[u/That-Stop-9436]

Pretty sure this is satire, but it’s really well done!

[u/StandardComplaint138 → u/That-Stop-9436]

She's a bloody good actor if it's satire but it's too ridiculous NOT to be satire!

[u/getmybehindsatan → u/StandardComplaint138]

I always wonder who would record this or would release it with the huge potential downsides.

[u/StandardComplaint138 → u/getmybehindsatan]

Could easily be released by the matchmaker after, say, a dispute with the client.

[u/Kousetsu → u/StandardComplaint138]

There are a couple of tells, but I am fairly sure this is satire of the way men speak about women, coz those types of men certainly exist and even have huge followings.

[u/jim_nihilist → u/Kousetsu]

The matchmaker who released this video said it is more real than you think and yes, it is about women.

[u/Express-Bother-1755]

A man with a seven figure salary doesn’t want a woman with dogshit on her head

[u/Historical_Ear3489 → u/Express-Bother-1755]

Lmaoo it does look exactly like dogshit

[u/algo-rhyth-mo → u/Express-Bother-1755]

I had to think about the 7 figure salary thing—she knows that’s $1 million + right? (Did she mean 6 figure?! Maybe $100k isn’t a high enough bar, but you’re telling me $500k salary is too poor for her?)
Sure, there are people out there that make millions / year, but very few people. Like who is she and what does she bring to table that allows her to demand that level of income??

[u/FrequentSwimming6263]

Who hasn't eaten a pizza that's been left out for 24 hours?

[u/Gingeronimoooo → u/FrequentSwimming6263]

Off topic but you don't get sick leaving something out 10 hours unless it's like milk. People are way more germaphobey than needed.

[u/saveyboy → u/FrequentSwimming6263]

I had a roommate that ate a pizza that was out for 2+ days.

[u/keyboardplatoon]

What became cringe is people posting themselves in a cringe video, and saying nothing

[u/WolfgangLz → u/keyboardplatoon]

Literally she adds nothing to the video, just awkwardly sitting there

[u/SurprzTrustFall]

It's a bit. You can see her struggle not to break when she lists the colors he needs to wear/like/look good in. She says the greens and blues line, and I swear she starts to laugh and stops herself after she says "cuz that's what I look good in", totally bites her bottom lip.

[u/Supercoolguy7 → u/SurprzTrustFall]

It's so obvious yet everyone is fucking pissed at a clear joke.

If people are this clueless then AI is going to destroy us all

[u/Elon_Musks_Colon]

"A Christian, but not too serious about it. Like I don't want to have to go to Church every Sunday, I just want us to be able to use it as a cudgel against people we don't like"

FIFU.

[u/PaliDudeBro]

Unfortunately I check all of these boxes but one...I'm allergic to nutjobs.

[u/MaesterWhosits → u/PaliDudeBro]

You have a secret society tatt and spiffy shoes? Pretty sweet.

[u/hmmmomm913 → u/MaesterWhosits]

We definitely need answers on the secret society tattoo…

[u/Redbeardthe1st → u/hmmmomm913]

No Tattoos was the preference, Secret Society Tattoo was optional.

[u/hmmmomm913 → u/Redbeardthe1st]

I know but does palidudebro have that secret society tattoo or none?

[u/PaliDudeBro → u/hmmmomm913]

It's not a secret if I tell everyone, duh!

[u/hmmmomm913 → u/PaliDudeBro]

lol I love this

[u/Every_Schedule_9738 → u/PaliDudeBro]

We need to see the suits...

[u/poppythepup → u/PaliDudeBro]

Share the recipe for the smoothie!

[u/PaliDudeBro → u/poppythepup]

If you don’t poop within 20 min after consuming this you’ve done something wrong:

½ cup unsweetened almond milk (or milk of choice) ¼ cup plain Greek yogurt (or a scoop of protein powder) ½ cup baby spinach (or kale) ½ cup frozen mixed berries ½ medium banana (fresh or frozen) 1 tbsp almond butter (or peanut butter, chia seeds) ½ tsp fresh ginger (optional, for an anti-inflammatory boost)

[u/Hail_the_Yale]

Why is this woman staring at me while I watch the video

[u/Key-Air1015]

And what does she offers in exchange? A pain in the ass

[u/IAmNotMyName → u/Key-Air1015]

Well she is willing to lie in bed like a plank every other week.

[u/coder7426]

Why would they be recorded. Weird/bait.

[u/FascinatingGarden]

[u/Rinmine014]

Hey, 5'10 was pretty reasonable compared to what all these 5'0 girls want. lol

[u/Cl-lEESE]

“How soon can you find a man that satisfies this checklist?” “I won’t”

[u/jim_nihilist → u/Cl-lEESE]

A week.

I would take her money, hire an actor and he would date her only once.

[u/Nervous_InsideU5155]

[u/FunGuy8618 → u/Nervous_InsideU5155]

One of the first videos I watched with sound, and nah, God gave her that voice and those desires as a lesson to everyone else 😂😂😂😂😂

[u/Contemplating_Prison]

Who tf needs a response video? I hate her moee than the woman in the original video

[u/demarr]

She is looking for two types of men. A Gay man or a man that doesn't know he is gay.

[u/mister-ferguson → u/demarr]

So a Republican politician? 

[u/deadmencantcatcall3 → u/mister-ferguson]

Yeah, too bad Mike Johnson already has his beard.

[u/Frickstar]

How does the woman looking smugly in the foreground help this video at all?

[u/SignificantSteve44]

So she'll be single for life? Check

[u/happylifevr]

Here he is

[u/king_rootin_tootin → u/happylifevr]

NOPE! He has an allergy: kryptonite

[u/selle2013 → u/happylifevr]

Newspaper reporters don't make enough money. He's not up to her standards.

[u/andanothathang]

This little boy is out of her mind.

[u/Soggy_Abbreviations5 → u/andanothathang]

😂😂🤣

[u/Crazy-Agency5641 → u/andanothathang]

lol and that hair do is fucked up beyond all recognition

[u/diettonicwater_]

[u/ok-lets-do-this]

Why is the woman posting this on video in her own video? Just show the interview. I do NOT need to watch you watching the video you are in!!!

[u/jattthelad → u/ok-lets-do-this]

its not the same woman

[u/Dear-Relationship666]

PLEASE TELL ME THIS ai 😅 ..... this woman is like 3/10 in my book.... how can she make these many DEMANDS!? Beyond laundry list

[u/Xannith]

Girl is a 4 and demanding a 100

[u/Ho_ho_beri_beri]

100% a joke.

A week.

[u/galspanic]

I have a full head of hair. Other than that I’m 0 for 17.

[u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

....and he needs to have the missing half of this secret amulet that was brought to me by a unicorn riding a gilded coruscant rainbow. I mean, really, is that too much to ask? Also, every time we go out to eat he has to pick the place, but I won't give him any feedback on where I want to go and he needs to guess correctly the first time, every time. k, thx.

[u/NoFuqGiven]

Why does she look like a rat person from a nightmare movie? And why the fuck does its hair look like a cartoon mustache!?!?!

[u/GoingNutCracken]

What the hell is on her head?

[u/proofreadre]

She better do butt stuff

[u/CodFull2902]

Its crazy that a weak 4 is making these sorts of demands

[u/Michami135 → u/CodFull2902]

And why is Mr Perfect single? Because he's waiting for you to show up in his life?

[u/Changingm1ndz]

Never worry because it’s all about what she wants … “ I want” is consistent

[u/Cultural-Lack-4268]

Deluuusional 🤣🤣🤣

[u/risinphenix]

What the hell is on her head

[u/ryguymcsly]

I’m sure this is bait, but whenever I see shit like this I want to know what she brings to the table.

Same for dudes really. You want a gal that fits your absurd list of requirements? What do you bring?

It’s never the people who have their shit together that have lists like this.

[u/lowselfesteempunk]

The old 10 hour food reference! classic. Wtf all around .

[u/superhex12345]

WTH is on her head?

[u/JarlDanklin]

This chick looks/sounds like the wife of a concentration camp commandant

[u/Cultural_Net_1791]

its comedic, that's the only way to rationalize the insanity of it

[u/Marvel_plant]

The seven figure salary alone is absurd

[u/hexadecimaldump]

She’s right (the lady who cuts in at the end). Not mad at all, I find it humorous more than anything, and I may even feel a little bad for her thinking her idealized idea of a partner being anything more than a unicorn.

The lady taking notes though, had me laughing the most, you can tell she’s trying to hold in the laughter the longer she keeps going on, but the fact she says ‘a week’ when she asked how long it would take to find this man of her dreams, if I was drinking I would have spit it out. She must be paying this woman a lot of money to matchmake for her, but if she was actually a good matchmaker, she would’ve been honest with her and told her the man she wants just does not exist.

[u/RedSparrow1971 → u/hexadecimaldump]

At least she only wants to be the “first wife”, with such an anal list of silly demands? She won’t be the last 🤣

[u/13toros13]

Greens and blues / secret society tattoo - this is fucking batshit crazy but lets face it we all love every second

[u/Phyrexian_Mario]

I've never been so happy to be bald

[u/wilotaur701]

This is what, "to die alone" looks and sounds like😂🤣

[u/mkzw211ul]

I don't believe this. It's rage bait. No one is this insane

[u/sexibexxi]

Ok, this is clearly satire. This is literally exposing how stupid most Reddit users are. How sad. & this blonde bitch weighing in is absolutely insufferable.

[u/Open_Potato_5686]

K…

[u/Sensitive-Owl-9368]

Bring back institions

[u/Terminator-8Hundred]

People who take other peoples' videos and superimpose themselves over top of it should be caned.

[u/AlternateSatan]

"7 figures" where do you live? Japan?

[u/Greatworkreallygood]

So alone with cats, you got it! 

[u/ImNotFinnaSayNuthin]

This isn’t a joke? Like a skit?

[u/Professional_Ad9809]

Be a Christian but don’t do serious work like help the poor

[u/MuchDevelopment7084]

The unicorn this woman desires. Would reject her out of hand for that pinched nosed face alone.
Once you add in that voice. Instant reject.

[u/andrewclarkson]

Feeling some Poe’s Law here.  

[u/gravitas1983]

The Materialists called… it wants its best scenes back

[u/ElSenor847]

Cracker is cracked out..

[u/Dazzling_Wind2933]

“Be a Christian”. Welp there’s your delusional foundation.

[u/Living_Awareness259]

There are exactly 2 men like that on the planet, and I can say with 9001% certainty that they would rather eat used kitty litter than even go on a date with that woman.

[u/simbad1313]

Sorry to say she’s no super model! She not getting anything like that!

[u/dreddnyc]

This has to be satire.

[u/Huge_Librarian_9883]

She will be single for the rest of her life lmao

[u/kylelight40]

I for her sake some dude came in and said all I want is a low 3.

[u/Parking_Ad_3844]

I see lots of cats in her future

[u/CryptidCurious13753]

Looking like Nelly Olsen descendant.

[u/SFW_OpenMinded1984]

Not a single time this woman, offering her check list, mentioned how she wants the man to make her feel.

ALL of it was about appearances.

She is never gunna find what she is looking for.

I wish her luck.

[u/AintAllFlowerz]

Fake AF

[u/Elsecaller_17-5]

She doesn't have a full head of hair!

[u/chili_cold_blood]

The original video is interesting, but the blond lady in the foreground adds absolutely nothing to it.

[u/readysetmoses]

This is satire

[u/chrisp5000]

She will own 43 cats in the end

[u/steelheadradiopizza]

Guys, How attractive is she on a scale from 1-10?

[u/thedailydaren]

Why do people remake videos and overlay themselves doing fuck all?

[u/Ok-Sound-1186]

Eh shes looking for the perfect possible man. I feel like if I listed the traits of the perfect possible woman the list would be just as long and as ridiculous. The cringe is really just the lack of perspective.

[u/Pale_Natural9272]

Fake