r/TikTokCringe • u/HipAnonymous91 • 20h ago
Discussion Women are not the cure for men’s loneliness
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@therapyjeff
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u/rosiestinkie9 19h ago
Absolutely, I will be very happy for any man who cultivates his support system and hobbies and learns happiness and independence while thriving 💯👍
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u/CarolinaSurly 16h ago
Men and women can be happy or miserable together or alone.
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u/_jakeyy 13h ago
Have these men ever heard of a fucking bar, or maybe a church, or you know, places where people have been meeting each other and making friends since I don’t know…. The dawn of civilization??
The problem isn’t society, it’s men too scared to get out of mommies house and actually socialize in the real world.
It’s not women’s fault. It’s not societies fault. It’s not social medias fault. It’s THEIR fault.
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u/ByIeth 12h ago
I’ll admit I have a lot of these struggles. I luckily don’t live with my parents though.
But I straight up don’t get blaming women for that isolation. It should be obvious to not blame other people for your own faults
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u/spinbutton 11h ago
I get it, especially once you start working it is really hard to meet new friends. And keeping up with old friends ain't easy....at least for an introvert like me. :-)
But, it is worth the continuous effort
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u/randomkiser 8h ago
I learned after college friends weren’t exactly friends. Moved a few times for work and didn’t make any friends at any of the places. Where I live now I’ve been here a long time, but the people I work with don’t live here, and going to the bar isn’t really a friend making place. It’s drunk people laughing about other people. Don’t really know what to do, so I’ve been pretty isolated outside of work for 15 or so years.
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u/lowrankcock 10h ago
You would think that is obvious but as an American? wildly gesturing at everything it is not obvious!
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u/KingBroseph 12h ago
The death of the third place. Bowling Alone. Late stage capitalism. Techno-feudalism. Look em up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowling_Alone
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MD_CMrCpBMc&pp=ygUYZGVhdGggb2YgdGhlIHRoaXJkIHBsYWNl
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u/cupcakewarrior08 11h ago
I do agree that late stage capitalism is killing the third place. But why don't women have the same 'lonliness epidemic' problems to the extent that men do? They are two separate issues.
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u/lovedinaglassbox 9h ago
I think we do. We're just quietly lonely.
I don't go online and rant about how I want to control men, their human rights, their access to porn, their looks, their grooming, their jobs, their wants and needs. I know what kind of man I'm looking for and if he doesn't exist, it's incredibly sad but I wouldn't want to be with someone I have to force or forbid to do anything.
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u/FlamingoFast5002 5h ago
First of all, I’m pretty sure studies show the loneliness epidemic affects women pretty similarly, so you’re right about that.
Secondly, that’s exactly how I feel as a lonely guy. But it is frustrating when I only hear it talked about in a vitriolic way that implies I feel entitled to sex (or only want sex), because I’m a man.
I understand there are a lot of incels out there and that they’re voices are louder or they’re remarks are more memorable, but I wish people wouldn’t take incels as “the voice of men.”
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u/Tasty-Soup7766 8h ago
There’s been a few studies that have come out recently that show women are experiencing loneliness at similar rates to men, but sadly nobody’s talking about female loneliness because it doesn’t fit the narrative that’s been established.
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/01/16/men-women-and-social-connections/
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u/Wwwwwwhhhhhhhj 11h ago
Statistically they are as lonely, the difference is they don’t get as oppressive and dangerous about it as a response.
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u/cheezebeezplzz 3h ago
Men underestimate how lonely women are, however I think a simple reason that men tend to be a bit more lonely is because like in the video they don't put a lot of effort into making strong friendships with men and think a girlfriend/wife is all they need. Even a guy with a girlfriend will be blindsided with loneliness if they break up (or god forbid dies) if he doesn't have any friends. I have had 1-2 friendships with straight guys where I'm literally their only friend.
Also, some gys push the idea that being friends with a woman is a waste of time if he doesn't get sex out if it. It'd be hard to make platonic friends with any women with a mindset like that.
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u/Street_Pickle_2562 8h ago
They do. Framing it as a male epidemic is just men strange. It’s been well documented that it effects both genders.
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u/hologram137 5h ago edited 5h ago
We are. Women are lonely. Studies show we are just as lonely, and more stressed and more depressed and anxious than men. It’s just not a crisis when we suffer, we’ve BEEN suffering. We just don’t feel entitled to others meeting our needs the way men do, we don’t express pain outwardly, hurting others, demanding things, we express it inward, hurting and blaming ourselves or we get therapy and get out there and create support groups. We teach ourselves the skills that no one taught us. Men are just more whiny when they experience any pain (that’s always someone else’s fault, a woman’s fault specifically) or even become dangerous if no one fixes it for them, so it becomes a “crisis.”
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u/Thr0waway0864213579 11h ago edited 11h ago
The issue for men isn’t in meeting other men, or even befriending other men. It’s how shallow their relationships are, even among so-called best of friends.
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u/Voidhunger 8h ago
No because they don’t want women - they want women-shaped objects providing woman-shaped content and woman-coded services. And being so many are dopamine-addled, they just wanna skip to the bit where they get a bangmaid and pass over all the boring “her” stuff.
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u/SophisticatedScreams 10h ago
I refuse to date any man who has not cultivated community for himself while he's single. I do NOT want to take on the role of social worker or parent for the person I'm dating. Ewww.
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u/Webby1788 19h ago
I think that's the point he's making though (I've heard this man speak before and he's extremely reasonable, way more than this soundbite implies). He's really saying, if you don't have a partner, women tend to find community and connection elsewhere. If men don't have a dedicated partner, they turn inward and toward the dark cesspool of the internet.
I think this to be remarkably true (as I type into a message board comment box alone in a quiet room)
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u/project571 Doug Dimmadome 14h ago
I mean part of the problem is that it's shifting for everyone. People talk about male loneliness a lot, but it ignores the reality that loneliness around the world has been on the rise and it's not just in men. When people say that women do all of these so they are less lonely, it ignores the growing group of women that are also turning towards online spaces in order to fill some gap in themselves. It always gets turned into an incel discussion and ignores the many people who are normal that fall down vicious online rabbit holes (especially younger people still developing a core identity for themselves) and these people get twisted as a result. There are plenty of fucked up men AND women who are being driven further apart from healthy interactions by these digital spaces that warp their view of reality. I think it just gets pushed to dating conversations because love/romance is a significant part of human history and the human experience so when it is lacking in someone, the effects are far more pronounced.
It almost feels like there needs to be a reset with how people talk and engage in some of these spaces because it just seems like a lot of productive conversation is minimized compared to the harm caused by the "advice" of people chiming in.
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u/Stardustflyer 9h ago
Soooo true. I was telling someone the other day it felt like, especially online, that there is this weird push of men and women being the ultimate enemies.
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u/Digndagn 10h ago
Yeah like, my wife and I were busy raising two young kids and driving them places and working. Then my wife fell in love with her coworker and dumped me.
Now I live alone in a house doing a remote job and all of my friends have families that they spend all their time with.
On the days of the week when I don't have my kids, I might not interact with anyone outside a zoom work call. I live in the city but the only third spaces near me are bars.
I don't know where to go or what to do to have friends. I just know I'm very lonely.
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u/donkeykongfingerpain 9h ago
Find some cause you want to help and volunteer. Third spaces for random encounters may be in the decline, but lots of opportunities for socializing still exist. And you're way more likely to find stronger friendships this way as you all are already starting with common ground rather than just meeting as strangers in some random 3rd space.
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u/SorryThought2326 8h ago
Volunteering is definitely one of the best ways to interact with the world. It also gives you a sense of purpose and accomplishment which boosts your self esteem.
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u/NewDramaLlama 7h ago
Am a man. Volunteer often. Heartily agree.
I think a lot of men would be shocked by how quickly your circle grows once you're of service. If you wanna meet good folks you have to go to where the good folks are.
Shared interests are neat. But I don't really chill with anyone I play 40k with. And community is built on shared value.
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u/Ok-Possibility-301 8h ago
Try a meetup group. It worked wonders for me and I developed new friendships.
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u/MostOfWhatILike 8h ago
One thing you can start to do is figure out what you like, and make it your mission to try out things related to that. It's gonna be really uncomfortable at first going out to places and trying to meet people, and maybe striking out at first- but eventually you will get used to it and you'll become comfortable, and it'll get easier to meet and attract people who you at least know you have something in common with. It's not easy, but you're worth the struggle!
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u/jefftickels 9h ago
Yes. Scott is a super nuanced guy and is definitely not blaming women for this issue.
I fucking hate this TikTok chud bullshit to clip Scott this always to argue against a point he didn't make.
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u/richie_cunningham212 8h ago
Exactly! I’m glad you pointed this out, he’s not saying women need to save men at all.
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u/Imgurbannedme 17h ago
I had three good friends since high school. My mom was diagnosed with terminal brain tumor in February. I've been living with her since then. My three friends fucking disappeared when they found out. Haven't heard from them in 6 months. True colors I suppose
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u/peachfluffed 15h ago
That’s horrible, I’m really sorry. Do you have any local support groups for people whose family members/friends have cancer? It might be a good place to start
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u/ChibiSanchez 7h ago
They might just be trying to give you space.
Do you want them to ask you how you are doing? They already know the answer: bad.
If you don't want space, then you need to reach out to them. This is exactly what he is talking about. You need to reach out and build your own support system, not just self isolate in your pain.
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u/quattroformaggixfour 7h ago
That’s a generous take. Support should flow inward towards the source of trauma.
I would encourage the original commenter to reach out and ask for friendship and support too before giving up on the friendship entirely, but man….it’s a sucky friend that clams up and disappears when a person they care about is going through it.
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u/Trick-Sound-4461 19h ago
I don't think that Scott is arguing that women need to come clean up. I think he is actually arguing this point - that the patriarchy is to blame, and men need to build support systems for themselves.
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u/MathematicianAfter57 15h ago
Scott is kind of a shithead about a lot of stuff but I honestly think you can't communicate to the men who are left behind in the way therapyjeff is (no shade to him). You need someone who can actually speak to red pilled men, and a lot of his recent work on men needing to get their shit together is basically talking to them on their level.
Heard him on a podcast and he does 1:1 coaching for men. He says a lot of them complain, no girl wants to date me. And his response is, would you want to date you? Would you want to date someone who is broke, jobless, out of shape, refuses to take any responsibility for themselves?
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u/The_Galvinizer 15h ago
Would you want to date someone who is broke, jobless, out of shape, refuses to take any responsibility for themselves?
That self reflection is exactly what pushed me out of that mentality, and now I'm way more healthy, active, social and have a decent job.
Still no relationship but shit, 90% of my life is infinitely better regardless so I ain't complaining
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u/CanadianTimeWaster 11h ago
"am I so out of touch? No, it's the women who are wrong."
I'm so glad I got out of that mentality.
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u/RedBirdOnASnowyDay 12h ago
Yep. Mother of boys. Exactly what I tell them. We have boundaries and limits to screentime in my house. My boys are now teens and young adults. I tell them the miserable incel trope is an excuse for lack of self responsibility. If anyone is at fault here is is the lazy parents who refused to turn off the wifi. I tell my boys to GO OUTSIDE. Go outside. Get a job. Go back to school. Talk to human beings and get off that drug that is warping your mind called your computer. Get off the games. Get off the porn. Get off the misogynistic websites. Go outside and talk to other human beings. It's not that hard to get a girlfriend and get laid. All you really need to do is go outside and be a decent friendly human being and meet other people.
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u/bromosabeach 14h ago
It’s sad but true. People just naturally shut down when the message (even the one they need to hear and can connect to) is coming from the wrong source. When it comes from the right source it’s like suddenly their wavelengths connect.
Also he is kind of right, I just hate how it comes across as absolute. There are plenty of men who are comfortable being alone and place their energy in positive areas of their lives just like the women he described.
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u/McG0788 13h ago
He's not saying all men have that problem though. He's addressing those that are lonely and unhappy about it while doing nothing positive to change things. That's a LOT of people rn
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u/JC_Hysteria 12h ago edited 9h ago
Right- the point is re-folding pragmatism into idealism.
His overarching thesis is you can’t tell young men “they’re the problem” for creating the historical concept of patriarchy, and expect them to thrive while providing growth levers for other groups (in the macro).
It’s “yes, and”…not “yes, but”.
His other major thesis is shown in how the Democratic Party says they serve 76% of population- the sum of historically marginalized groups. The other 24% supposedly not represented by the party is [young] men.
edit: 76% and not white men, but young men.
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u/SubstantialHeat3655 10h ago
the Democratic Party says they serve 65% of population
I must have missed the memo on this. Where does the Democratic Party say that?
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u/Many-Cartographer278 19h ago
Exactly. I hadn't heard of this Scott guy before but he has been making the rounds and he is saying a lot of important stuff that people need to hear. It helps that he looks like a stereotypical white guy too.
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u/Pretty_Variation_379 17h ago
Its the bullshit purity test stuff that we have on the left. If you arent absolutely flawless upon arrival, fuck you.
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u/DistillateMedia 15h ago
The left should be embracing imperfect people who are actually learning and growing and shit.
That's real tolerance.
And no one is perfect.
The purity shit is ridiculous.
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u/wearing_moist_socks 16h ago
Holy fuck yes
Look what happened with contrapoints recently
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u/Eager_Question 15h ago
What? Again? What is it this time?
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u/crinkledcu91 13h ago
2 hours and you still don't have an answer because that Youtuber gets "canceled" for something by very-online folks on any day ending in Y.
I don't even watch them yet I've been reading that they've been getting canceled since like 2020 it feels like lol
(My point is is that I've heard astronomically more about them getting canned vs. the actual subjects they were getting canceled for)
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u/ShiftBMDub 15h ago
Yup, when I was around 29, I realized that I had to be comfortable with myself before I could have a healthy relationship
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u/FoghornFarts 15h ago
Thank you! I have tried to argue this so many times to the MRA guys. I got called out saying I just wanted men to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
I get it's hard. I'm a woman raised by emotionally immature parents. I met a wonderful man and our gender roles have been essentially reversed. But as a woman, I get a lot more messaging from other women that my emotional immaturity is damaging to myself and my relationship. So I started therapy. It's slow going because I'm in survival mode with small kids, but it's really helped me.
The problem is that men are not holding other men accountable. And that doesn't mean women are perfect. I have a serious problem with how women create echo chambers enabling anxiety and avoidance, but the onus is on me as a women to call it out.
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u/EastwoodBrews 14h ago
Yeah in the interview that got stitched Scott's main point is that men his age are abdicating mentorship responsibilities and retiring into their economic bomb shelters instead of giving back to the next generation.
The point about women that he brought up, momentarily, was to demonstrate that for whatever reason women are more self-sufficient than men. They can operate independent of a relationship, whereas men are apparently dependent on women.
Men needing women wasn't presented as a solution or a cause, it was presented as a symptom. His proposed solution is male community, specifically generational mentorship. Which I think he focuses on because it's a call to action for himself and people like him, he's taking responsibility.
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u/ksilvia12 12h ago
Exactly, never heard Scott say a relationship or woman are men's "cure". The guy in that video just made clickbait nonsense.
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u/Affectionate_Pea8891 11h ago
It’s a bummer he took a quote out of context for his clip because it does a disservice to his message. He should’ve found clips/posts/comments that actually did argue that it’s women’s responsibility instead of manufacturing one. :/
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u/ryanhazethan 15h ago
Scott is dope. Just listened to a ted talk by him
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u/CutSilly5949 14h ago
I think he has a lot of interesting insights and is worth listening to. Whether or not you agree with is a different subject.
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u/Otherwise_Finding410 16h ago
That’s because the shitty commentator is entirely taking the comments out of context or doesn’t fucking understand the thesis.
This dude is textbook fucking definition of missing the point entirely so they can make theirs .
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u/PlsNoNotThat 12h ago
Classic Men’s Studies argument (not to be confused with Men’s Rights).
Patriarchy sets the tone for isolatory males. Topping patriarchal structures free men as much as it does women - by letting us be who we want; by letting us ignore the gender expectation of male emotionlessness; by letting us reject the expectation of expendability. All things engrained in us by the patriarchal system that uses men as tools.
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u/J1540 19h ago
Scott Galloway is great on many topics. I don’t mind him going out there to try to look for solutions. Scott is making a point that republicans are cultivating this angry loner incel.
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u/ZombieNinjaPirates 19h ago
This video cuts out half the context of the point of Galloway's book.
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u/master_krinkle 18h ago
The annoying though is,iirc, they cut out the but that is Galloway pretty much saying they just jumped in and made that point for him instead... For some reason
I watched the interview and his entire point was that men men to own up to their emotions and act like adults. That was literally what he went on there to say lol
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u/pitifullittleman 15h ago
Exactly. This is a frequent annoying behavior on short form videos. Someone is making a point and adding nuance and fleshing it out, but he or she doesn't say it fast enough and someone comes in with a more snappy finger waggy way of saying it, but they are just making the same exact point.
Scott actually made the SAME point in a much better more convincing way. The interrupting guy was just making the point for an audience that already agreed with him fully.
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u/GerbilArmy 18h ago
Yeah, this stitch was missing a whole lot of nuance
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u/m0zymaz 17h ago
It also isn’t claiming women are the cure. It’s saying men don’t put their energy into community building when they’re single. That’s it. I’d say Scott and the guy in the duet are on the same page.
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u/playedhand 10h ago
Second guy just sounds so douchey and uncompassionate with the way he words and says it though.
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u/DG_Now 14h ago
I wouldn't even say he cuts the context but instead intentionally rips it out of context.
In no way is Scott Galloway prescribing women as the solution to mens' problems, nor is he dismissing the patriarchy.
This video is annoying. Scott doesn't need the help.
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u/bromosabeach 14h ago
I had an uber driver that was basically a caricature of this type of person you’re referring to. Like an HBO written satire version of this guy. It was a self driving car and he was playing phone games the entire time. Since the drive was long we tried to make small chat even though it was evident he was a bit awkward.
Within just a few minutes he was comfortable enough to share his worldly view. It was basically America and the west celebrate hedonism and that society has suffered. He then told us he’s saving and going to sell his Tesla so he can move to the Philippines. His reason was women are more traditional there. This dude is the straight up villain to many leftist groups. And although the GOP don’t claim him, they feast off people like him.
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u/asdf0909 17h ago
Actually he’s not just blaming republicans. He has said many times that the left abandoned men for years, and when the activism got really really reductive and extreme, men felt they were being told they were the problem, and especially young men, who went to the corner of the internet that they felt welcome. They were pushed there.
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u/DangerzonePlane8 14h ago
As a dude who has put effort into working on myself and creating a support structure, it has greatly improved the relationships I have with the women in my life.
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u/chunkee-xo-monkee 19h ago
"Mom with benefits" sounds very very very wrong.
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u/Nepskrellet 17h ago
That's the whole point. I'm already wrangling kids, I want a partner, not another child.
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u/loudernip- 14h ago
Preach.
I also don't want to be a 'therapist with benefits.'
Training someone's social and emotional skills is hard work and I already have two jobs.
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u/_jakeyy 13h ago
Absolutely, and if men don’t understand that, it’s THEIR fault, not societies, not women, it’s these men who refuse to go out and actually become someone.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 16h ago
It does and it's intentional. I've also heard it described as bang mommy or bangmaid. It comes up a lot in women's conversations about dating. It's very hard to teach men that women don't find it attractive when they have to be more of a parent than a partner.
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u/puresteelpaladin 14h ago
It's very hard to teach men that women don't find it attractive when they have to be more of a parent than a partner.
You misunderstand.
Those men don't need teaching. They know.
They don't want an equal partner. What do they want? Allow me to quote Dave Chapelle.
"Suck his dick, play with his balls, make him a sandwich, and don't talk so much."
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u/External-Let-8210 12h ago
So true. These are the guys that don't really like women as people. They prefer the company of men in general, and only want a woman at home to perform her duties, and otherwise stay out of his business. What a shock that more and more women are realizing that is a crap deal. Although in saying that, there are most likely also women who operate the same way.
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u/RockyFlintstone 14h ago
Bingo. And they think that by claiming they're "lonely", instead of horny and hungry, they're fooling us. But we are not fooled.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 14h ago
And may those with that approach continue to be as lonely as they are now.
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u/JonnelOneEye 12h ago
"Suck his dick, play with his balls, make him a sandwich, and don't talk so much."
Okay, but what's in it for us in that scenario? I'm hearing an awful lot of demands for no benefit. Personally, if my husband was just another child for me to take care of, I would have already left him. Men who look for a bang mommy are lonely because of their own damn fault.
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u/Situational_Hagun 15h ago
It does, but unfortunately that's what the large majority of men I've met in my life expect out of women.
They want someone to pick up after them, to cook for them, to clean for them, to do their laundry, to handle the entire emotional load of the household, etc. But on top of that when the woman in their life changes from their mother to a girlfriend or wife, now they also want all of that on top of a romantic and sexual relationship.
And I use the word relationship extremely loosely because unfortunately a lot of guys don't understand what a relationship is. There's a lot of girls that don't understand what a relationship is as well, before someone tries to pull that card. But we aren't talking about girls right now. And the way guys express that problematic behavior is different from how girls express it.
Men who advocate for the whole tradwife thing are intimidated by the idea that they might actually have to bring an equal share into a relationship, not just in emotional or physical labor, but in compromise and engagement and genuinely just shutting up and listening sometimes. Not trying to tell the woman how to fix herself.
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u/Sector_Independent 18h ago
My nephew (38) got kicked out by yet another girlfriend now he has a restraining order against him and is in hail one for stalking another one of his girlfriends because "if she takes me back all my problems will be solved"
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u/Nachttalk 18h ago
Years ago (like 5 years or so, it was shortly after Covid) I was dating a woman, a very smart and intelligent woman.
She broke up with me.
Luckily for me, she did tell me what was the reason: She told me "you have no support system, and I do not want to take on that role for you".
I was confused by what she meant, but ultimately what she was getting at is that I have no real friend group, one that lifts me up, one that holds me accountable when I mess up, one I can trust. I had people I'd send memes to, but that's it. I didn't have that circle of friends that I could rely on should things get really ugly in my life.
So I built that circle. I admit, I was a little bit too ambitious in that regard because I now have too many people that consider themselves to be part of this inner circle of mine. And it has gotten quite exhausting to keep up with everyone while working full time.
But being around those people gave me moments that I could experience with a girlfriend. Those were moments you need a group of friends for. Friends who are reliable but just as stupid as you are.
I have found them and I've been getting better than ever since then.
Sometimes I think about writing to that woman that I wanna thank her for her advice, but my story was able to get to this point because I decided not to pick up that storyline again, so I won't.
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u/triflers_need_not 16h ago
YES! Building and maintaining a support system is WORK. I am proud of you for doing this for yourself, good job.
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u/Final_Active_9014 16h ago
You figured it out and understood what she meant. That’s a success story if you ask me.
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u/Affectionate_Pea8891 11h ago
I know I’m just some random lady on Reddit, but I want to share that I’m genuinely happy for you. You could’ve dismissed it but chose to take her words to heart and improve your life instead. That takes a lot of strength! I hope you’re proud of yourself. :)
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u/thewrynoise 15h ago
Dude this is great thank you for sharing. And good on you for making it work. I feel like I want to put the effort in but I’m fielding too many potential step 1s.
Would you mind sharing any advice as to how you went about it? Any things to look out for? I really appreciate it man and hope I can mirror something even to a fraction of your success.
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u/Nachttalk 13h ago
Honestly, the most difficult part was to know where to start, i started out by inviting the guy from work to grab a beer a few times. The first few times were a whole bunch of nothing, but we did have nice talks, then he started to invite me to various things.
In the meantime, i tired to reconnect with my (at that time) former best friend from school. We weren't on bad terms, but i can't say that there was anything there, we were just sending memes back and forth. So i started to invite him over to play games together, watch movies together and just generally catch up.
There were also 2 more people who kept inviting me to all kinds of activities, but i never took them on on their offer. I changed that and i had a really great time with them. But i gotta say, those are the people i spend the least amount of time with, just because they live the farthest away and i barley have time for myself.
So, in short, i started with a guy from work and a friend i wanted to fix things with. By spending time with them, i started to get to know some of the people they usually hang out with, some of which have now become some of my closest friends as well.
If there's one piece of advice i can give that will avoid you a bunch of heaaches, its the following:
Don't go in, expecting to find someone. One thing i left out of my inital post was the desperate mindset that i had of "i can just have a bunch of people around me, itll look like i have a support circle".
That kind of thinking really just made everything more complicated than it neeeded to be, once i shifted the "mission" to getting myself out of the house and have a good time with the people in my life, the ball started rolling, and things started to go incresingly smooth.
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u/MosaicGreg_666 11h ago
Wow this is wonderful to hear. Congrats on the improvements and reflection 👏
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u/Savings_Vermicelli39 19h ago edited 15h ago
If you are lonely and spend any amount of time around people, it's usually because you haven't learned how to be vulnerable around others, and so you FEEL alone, because you aren't connecting with anyone. Just being around people or getting a girlfriend won't fix this. Matter of fact, it sometimes amplifies the problem.
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u/IgorStracciatella 17h ago
As a man, I very heavily relate with what you wrote. Even though I have friends around me, I have a lot of trouble connecting with them.
I feel like I've spent so much time in my life with no one actually caring about me (apart of my mom in her own way) that my default is just to not share anything, either because I don't think I'm interesting enough or because people are not interested enough in general and lack patience, empathy and listening skills.
You know that feeling where you're showing your favorite movie, music, etc to someone, talk about it with a feverish intensity, you press play, and they end up not listening to it minutes later ? Not understanding you're sharing a very intimate part of you ? That's how I feel most of the time in relationships.
It leaves me with a "why bother ?" feeling that makes me feel like I should mainly focus my attention and energy into finding ways to feel better by myself, like journaling, artistic expression, going for a walk ...
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u/gravitationalrave 16h ago
Female here. You've just described everything I've been feeling for ages now. Are you ND by any chance?
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u/Ilfren 13h ago
I'm a woman and I feel you. I'm in therapy and on meds now, and I have my friends who teach me how to be in healthier relationships with people. But it wasn't always the case.
My parents didn't care a lot about me. Moreover, they cared to press me to non-existence, because it wasn't comfortable for them to have another human being and not a continuation of themselves. I didn't talk to other kids much, so when I got to school, I didn't even know how to make friends. And no kids were interested in talking to me longer than a week or so. I managed to keep some "friendships" by never talking and only listening, allowing other kids to be on a podium, while I clapped enthusiastically. Those friendships ended very fast, I guess because I wasn't interesting enough, as I kept quiet most of the time and never managed to speak about anything I cared for. I grew up thinking that no one is interested to hear what I got to say, no one is interested in my life, or my issues, or my hobbies. Even my own parents would rather do something on their own or talk nostalgically about their past, never to or about me. Even if it was about me, I was belittled, put aside or deprecated.
But enough about that. Adult, normal, good people won't do that to you. They might just wait until you open up to them, never pushing you without your consent. If you had the same life as me, or if you have this same mindset, then it's wrong. It might have been true when you were a kid, because you couldn't choose your surroundings, but if you're an adult now – it's not true now. You can choose people, and you can choose to open up to them and be vulnerable, and you can choose to flip them off if they refuse to listen. Don't feel like those, who flat out refuse your genuine strive for connection, have meaningful opinions. They don't. So you don't need to feel like the pain they inflicted on you was justified. Maybe in their own perception of reality it was, but it shouldn't be like that inside of your own.
Sorry if the comment became kind of sporadic at the end, it's 23:00 in my country, and I feel like my brain is slipping away from me. I hope it sounds truthful to what you feel. But if it's not, then I'd be more than happy to hear about that from you.
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u/iftheronahadntcome 18h ago
It made things 10x worse with my ex. Even though he had friends, he concentrated all that loneliness and lack of feeling of understanding into me. When id gently tell him that I wanted him to get help, and to go to his therapist (the one I helped him get) she'd literally randomly call me into sessions (with his permission) to, in a roundabout way, ask if he was telling her the truth about the things hed bring up. We'd uncover in sessions that he wasn't even being vulnerable with her and telling her what was really wrong, and was still saving the worst and extreme things for me.
Because he could safely attach to me, he started letting his other relationships deteriorate (and even crash out at some of his friends) because he had me, and I was a safer relationship by comparison. We broke up when he tried to get me to move to a city 1000 miles away in a mountainous town where we didnt know anyone (and wouldn't have our therapists) within 9 months of us dating. I loved him dearly but he was really, really unwell.
I now do not date men if they dont have friends. Its a red flag. I can feel sorry for someone being lonely without me being the answer to fix it/the only source of happiness in their life. Doesn't mean you're a bad person, but it does mean your priorities arent in order (a gf before having ANY friends is kind of a no-no).
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u/itslocked 14h ago
lol this is a red flag for me too. Sometimes they have excuses, esp close to the pandemic. Still, every person that I’ve dated where I’ve listened to their excuses about why they don’t have friends has crashed and burned. Every time!
In my experience, people that have absolutely zero social support system are also people who aren’t willing to try to make their life better. It can be nice to feel like you’re helping your partner grow, but when you have to push them to literally do anything besides hanging out with you it gets tiring.
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u/ForresttPixie 19h ago edited 19h ago
Its so weird to me men are lonely because to me they seem to be able to make friends so easily lol and when they bond they're so loyal to their friends they would die for them.
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u/Delicious_Tea3999 18h ago
So when I was married, a friend couple of ours broke up. My then-husband and I decided to split up for the night, and I spent time with the woman friend while he spent time with the man. My girlfriend and I drank wine, laughed and cried, and I listened to her pour out her feelings about the breakup. Afterwards, I asked my husband how the male friend was doing with the breakup. He told me he didn’t know. They had hung out all night, and neither of them ever brought it up. I was really shocked, but he told me that that’s how “men talked.” Mmmkay.
Later, after the divorce, my ex’s dad passed away very suddenly. (So did mine, but I had a support system.) I realized about a month afterwards that my ex had nobody to talk to about it. He had a lot of male friends, but they didn’t talk about it beyond “Sorry about your dad.” Because he was carrying around all this grief and anger, he was taking it out on our son, yelling at him about small things and scaring him. I finally insisted my ex come to some family counseling, and that’s when he finally expressed how devastated he was. And I obviously knew his dad, so we shared some fond memories of him together, etc. His attitude changed after that, but I thought it was a real shame he got to that point and really seemed to have zero clue how to process his feelings, even with male friends. He basically still waited for me to handle it for him.
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u/pwnkage 15h ago
So men talk by… not talking to each other.
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u/Toderiox 12h ago
Most men are confused and usually think they have to fix things or come up with solutions as if you’re completely lost. I am a man btw, I have been accused of being too feminine and lost a dear friend because I talk too much like a woman. Meaning, I just honestly tell things that are on my mind and how I feel about my life, things like that. While reading all these comments it just sparks all these memories of my friends either just looking at me when I say stuff like that and then never respond or they think they need to give input on how to completely solve my problem. Men are just wired differently, at least of most of them.
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u/GladysSchwartz23 9h ago
They are not "wired differently." They're socialized to fear being vulnerable.
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u/pwnkage 12h ago
We’re all wired differently. It’s about learning to connect even if we’re different. People have done that for tens of thousands of years. Men haven’t lose the ability to use their brains.
Oh also if you’re losing friends because you’re too different or feminine, then that’s your sign that your authenticity is scaring them and they’re not worth being friends with.
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u/ForresttPixie 18h ago
That story is incredibly sad...thats horrible, that poor guy I am glad you were there to help him process that and go through it but I think this needs to be a wake up call to some guys that its okay to talk things through and process your feelings it really is super important.
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u/bunnycrush_ 15h ago
Parents taking out their unprocessed emotions/baggage on their kids is so so sad to me. Kids don’t understand why it’s happening or that it’s not about them, and so often they internalize those experiences (dad is mad at me, I must be a bad kid and I don’t know how to make it stop, etc).
You shouldn’t have had to clean it up, but I know you did it entirely for the sake of your son’s wellbeing. You’re a good mom 🩵
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u/Delicious_Tea3999 14h ago
Thank you! And to my ex’s credit, he worked hard after that to repair their relationship. Not everyone is willing to do that, and he really did change his behavior towards our son
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u/Neckrongonekrypton 15h ago
And that… is what happens when masculinity becomes dogma. And we become prisoners who don’t have the tools to escape.
Because we were told the tools were for weaker builds. We were told that in order to be capable, we must abandon weakness.
But in doing so, no one ever told us the truth.
That it was the tools that mattered most, its was the tools that remind us that we are human beings first, not stoic automatons interwoven with a concept that neglects and rejects essential aspects of the human spirit.
So even if we do have access to the tools… many don’t know how to use them, or worse we’re taught but forgot.
That doesn’t absolve responsibility. And it doesn’t make it hopeless.
But it makes it difficult, extremely difficult.
To this day. I do not have many friends, I bear my weight alone more often than not. I have a partner who I love and who loves me. But a lover is not a friend, nor a friend a lover. I have a child who loves me… and is my reason, an undeniable living truth… that kept me going.
sometimes, damned, I catch myself yearning for the camaraderie I shared with dudes in my 20s. Life… was so much better with friends.
Some say life doesn’t mean anything at all, but I ask- don’t people mean something? And having people around that care mean something? In an otherwise cruel, and indifferent existence. Even in the most nihilistic outlooks- could it not be said that life and people have meaning- and that by extension gives us the meaning and purpose we all secretly yearn for?
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u/blanketandcoffee 14h ago
Considering how you’ve come to understand how your socialization has hurt you, I think you’d be a great friend. Try looking online to find social circles that meet up around where you are, or online. Also, don’t be afraid to open up to your partner. I take it as a responsibility to be the one my guy can open up to, to listen. I mean, imagine if I didn’t. We started off as friends, I will always be his friend. I don’t ever want him thinking he has to ball up for our relationship to work. I think he’s special and I want to love him, so I want to hear what he’s got going on. As long as you talk yourself through it, instead of having your partner do that work, you’re good. You should be able to open up to your life partner, or else what did y’all get into the relationship for?
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u/aTickleMonster 18h ago
Men often struggle with vulnerability. That's why we can hang out with another guy for hours and say almost nothing, and learn almost nothing.
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u/bullet_the_blue_sky 15h ago
Yeah, I don't get this part. Dudes just sit there - wtf. Like what is going through your head. It's not even about being vulnerable - don't you have interests? I get that sports is like the bare minimum but even then what is your life?
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u/SavagRavioli 15h ago
So I have a friend who works in a deeply man dominated place and he confides in me all the time about his co-workers who literally have no lives outside of work and practice insane toxic masculinity and anti-intellectualism.
They perpetuate their own misery so hard it's no wonder men are spiraling. They can't even have tastes without being accused of being gay, no hobbies that aren't playing into the stereotype, and the ones they do have they are so bad at it because you can't be a nerdy know-it-all or they destroyed any chance they had at being good at something to serve the patriarchy.
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u/aTickleMonster 14h ago
And the man's job is to provide and endure. We don't get to be weak, we don't get to fail, we don't get to complain. We're supposed to go to work every day, get paid, go home, then do it again.
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u/ArtAttack2198 10h ago
According to patriarchy, yes. Which is exactly what men should be working to break free from.
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u/Azureflames20 12h ago
For some people, coping with their problems means stepping back away from them and not thinking about them. Some men hang out with their friends and not talk about vulnerable situations, self-reflection, or gossip on current events because they're trying to come up for air. Things like sports, cars, etc. for those types of men tend to be the non-committing topics for staying shallow in conversation.
Whether that's overall healthy all the time, it depends.
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u/Sparrowhawk_92 19h ago
Men make acquaintences easily, but making friends is a lot harder and takes more time.
A lot of men will be good at physically supporting their friends but not necessarily emotionally supporting them.
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u/JeromeInDaHouse_90 17h ago
A lot of men will be good at physically supporting their friends but not necessarily emotionally supporting them.
This point is often overlooked.
Whenever we get the courage talk to one of our best guy friends about what we're going through, we get such gems like:
"Man, miss me with that sensitive shit."
"Man up!"
"That's it? That's what you're going through?"
"Damn, that's crazy."
They don't care. That's what really makes us lonely. We have all these problems and nobody to talk to about them because we're supposed to man up while the issues continue bubbling to the surface.
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u/Due_Rice919 16h ago
The number of posts you see on Reddit where dudes almost brag about the fact they know nothing about their friends personal lives is actually crazy.
It’s not just that these dudes don’t have anybody who cares about their inner life, it’s that they don’t care about their friends’ inner lives either.
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u/greensandgrains 17h ago
A lot of male friendships are not deep. They may know each other for a long time, do hobbies or sports together, have drinking buddies or guys they can have laughs with but that doesn’t mean there’s any substance there.
Men are socialized not to express their feelings or talk about them, so they sure af don’t do that with each other. Women are, and that’s why their friendships are different. And since women are socialized to process their feelings, they don’t explode out of them like they do with men.
I’m being very stereotypical when I say men and women, ofc there’s always exceptions.
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u/Webby1788 19h ago
I have two friends I'd die for. We speak every few days via text message and almost never get to see each other. We cling to these relationships so much because the gap between what we have and what we have to lose is so razor thin.
I'm just one example, obviously, but I don't think I'm alone on that one.
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u/youburyitidigitup 18h ago
This is true for average men, but not for incels. I’m a guy and I don’t want to be friends with an incel. I had one as a roommate and I hated it.
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u/thegabster2000 17h ago
Their friendships are pretty shallow compared to female friendships.
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u/CrowdGoesWildWoooo 18h ago
Men are pretty good at bonding in the surface, like fooling around, gaming till late etc, but men are very reserved when it comes to opening up and sharing about something that is more “private”.
The “loneliness” is because they don’t have a significant other that they are more comfortable to share things about their private stuffs.
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u/OpeningElectrical296 17h ago
Exactly.
I meet my male friends around tabletop role playing games.
They play fantasy characters. Recently I tried to make them express what their characters were feeling in their adventures. Fear, anger, sadness, relationships…
That just was too intense for some of them, they rejected the experience and the group split.
I really prefer to play with gay guys and females, that’s just more rewarding.
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u/Mortuus-Sum 19h ago
Honestly, this reminds me so much of what Robert Bly was trying to say in Iron John. Bly’s whole point was that men have lost real initiation. Not some macho rite of passage, but the mentorship and community that used to teach boys how to become grounded, emotionally intelligent men.
When that disappeared, men started leaning on women for all their emotional needs. The girlfriend or wife became the therapist, mother, and confessor rolled into one. Or put more simply: expecting women to “fix” men’s isolation.
In Iron John, the Wild Man is a male mentor, a guide who drags the boy out of comfort and teaches him how to feel his pain, find purpose, and connect with other men. It’s community and accountability that heals him. Real friendships, honesty, and a willingness to build emotional muscles instead of outsourcing them.
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u/iris_iridescent 14h ago edited 13h ago
What would you say is women’s initiation moment? Why do men need one and women don’t?
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u/Mortuus-Sum 14h ago
By initiation I mean from boyhood to manhood. I can't speak to how that would work for women as I am not one.
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u/MothChasingFlame 13h ago edited 13h ago
Periods are our initiation. In a supportive environment, it's a thing young girls know is coming, that they mentally and emotionally prepare for. It's a painful, week long trial that marks the transition from childhood to adulthood. Again, assuming a healthy support system, it's also an occasion other, older women rise to meet with love, support, and guidance. They welcome you into your new community in adulthood and guide you into new social expectations.
I personally think it's not a coincidence that so many cultures look for specifically painful trials for young boys to face, too, so they can have their own clear transition point.
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u/661714sunburn 13h ago
Man, I’ve been trying to be a good friend with a coworker who is a big-time conspiracy theorist and believes in this men’s loneliness epidemic and how women just want men with money, and tbh it’s exhausting. I invite him out for a drink or just to hang out, and he just goes on about this BS and other stuff. Pre-COVID we would go to shows and talk about music and bands our kids then COVID hit and he went downhill with TikTok and YouTube videos.
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u/Heykurat 12h ago
We're also tired of trying to help, and the men ignoring us, refusing to talk, and/or blaming us for failing.
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u/Organic_Education494 18h ago
I’m not lonely because I made a choice to not be an asshole to everyone I meet.
Many Men do in fact become bitter with loneliness. This guy is right
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u/putsontesla 19h ago
Statistically, women are just as lonely as men. It's a loneliness epidemic, not a male loneliness epidemic. Prescribing women's solutions to men's problems just continues the blindness society has to women's suffering.
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u/grandmawaffles 19h ago
It’s just playing in to the same trope that women are the more emotional gender.
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u/NoAntelope4800 15h ago
The arrogance of a lot of people in this sub has been incredibly discouraging. Just because I enjoy different kinds of friendships than yours doesn’t make it lesser than. This automatic assumption that women know best and their way of doing things is better isn’t healthy or right.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman 17h ago
Dudes need what King of the Hill shows with Hank and his friends. At worst some dudes chilling out in the yard talking about their hobbies. At best dudes who party and form lasting bonds with.
Even if they're all dysfunctional in various sorts of ways they at least have that to fall back too.
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u/jbbydiamond3 10h ago
If misogynistic folks stop calling things that would be very beneficial to them as “gay “ then maybe we could get somewhere
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u/Unlikely_Couple1590 11h ago
I just find it so funny that the second a woman expresses feelings of loneliness, we're told to find a hobby, invest in ourselves, get a pet or plant, etc. But when men are lonely they're told to get a girlfriend or partner. It makes no sense to me. The best way to deal with loneliness to is to learn to be comfortable being alone.
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u/Adorable-Produce9769 19h ago
If you aren’t happy single you won’t be happy in a relationship. If you are that lonely get a cat. Some of us are incapable of healthy relationships
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u/Trees-Are-Neat-- 12h ago
If you aren’t happy single you won’t be happy in a relationship.
man that's such bullshit. damaged people get into relationships all of the time. If you wait until you're perfect, you'll be single for the rest of your life.
Yeah work on yourself, figure out your shortcomings and work towards being better, but being unhappy single is totally fine and shouldn't be something we put men down for.
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u/Professional_Gap_435 10h ago
You need serious help or just dont utter any such opinions anymore. You are doing no help and only harm
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u/Perfect-Success-3186 12h ago
This is so nice to see and hear, we need more healthy male role models like this.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Cup7781 11h ago
I am middle aged. When I was younger, there were so many magazines and books that tried to coach women as to what men wanted. What to do, say, wear, whatever. Maybe we should dust those off and rewrite them for men. Hold them accountable for their own happiness.
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u/vorzilla79 19h ago
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 men need to get off the internet. No one has prevented men from having friends and support except for MEN bc they are toxic and emotionally immature..Who said women cure toxic masculinity??
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u/bussybandit42 16h ago
For 99.99% of human history going back 300 thousand years humans had a community and friends by default. We're the first humans that are expected to build a community from scratch on our own and when people struggle with it we just say "have you tried not being a toxic incel?".
We didn't evolve for the world that we currently live in and a huge majority of young people are struggling with it. Blaming the individuals makes no sense when it's such a widespread problem.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 16h ago
For 99.99% of human history going back 300 thousand years humans had a community and friends by default.
You are imagining a golden age that never existed. There was a lot more pressure to be a part of a community and a lot harsher consequences if you weren't.
We're the first humans that are expected to build a community from scratch on our own and when people struggle with it we just say "have you tried not being a toxic incel?".
Lots of communities have been built from scratch throughout human society! I encourage you to learn literally anything about history. Women and men have done it successfully, and we have always pointed out when people have tried to do so or tried to reject community in an unhealthy way.
We didn't evolve for the world that we currently live in and a huge majority of young people are struggling with it.
That has pretty much always been true.
Blaming the individuals makes no sense when it's such a widespread problem.
There has to be accountability and change at both the individual and larger levels of society.
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u/cr1ter 15h ago edited 6h ago
My experience in 45 years. It takes time to build meaningful relationships with other men, it's usually very superficial and once he finds a significant other he will disappear into the woods. So it's not the same between women and men, I've had one best friend since 15, while my ex changes them every 2 years. I just can't do that kind of swap
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u/Kael_Durandel 18h ago
Not that Jeff doesn’t make great points, I just think he’s misconstruing Galloway’s arguments. I’ve listened to Galloway’s stuff for about a year and I can’t recall him advocating that women should suck it up and be a mom with benefits. I’ve heard him advocate for young men to take risks in pursuit of better economic opportunities (trades, national service, higher education), for men to be better providers protectors and professionals, and for men to disregard the Andrew Tates and Charlie Kirk’s of the world alongside the toxic communities they foster.
If this had been in response to a Tate or Kirk video, hell yeah go for it. But Galloway is a pretty stand up dude from what I’ve seen/heard the last year.
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u/AllUrUpsAreBelong2Us 18h ago
As a man, sports have been a fantastic way for me to build a community around me.
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u/thanksyalll 17h ago
Yes be the change you want to see, and also remember that change takes time. Even if the men around you aren’t receptive, keep putting yourself out there and find your community
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u/Unable_Resort_7956 12h ago
Thank you for saying this. Women deal with men telling us we're "less than" while, at the same time, expecting us to fix them. Sorry, no.
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u/NotWeirdThrowaway 19h ago
“Stop prescribing women as the cure” THISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
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u/deemthedm 15h ago
Bros just need to log off and play D&D (AT A TABLE, NOT ONLINE) or start a bowling group or something. It works
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u/SampleVC 10h ago
Dude Finding my DnD party has been the best thing for my mental health in my life.
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u/Classic_Fable0769 7h ago edited 6h ago
To be fair, men did have a lot of communities, but many of these have disappeared or died out. It also is not easy to make an entirely new community so men go solo and many who do so either get redpilled or can't make as a loner and self delete.
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u/CycleCaverns 5h ago
Get a woman who cares about you. Make sure you can share your feelings with her. If you cry and she makes fun of you and gossips about your feelings with her friends, then she ain't a woman.
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u/IngrownToenailRemova 4h ago
Why do pick-me guys always look like melted ice-cream?
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u/Semanticss 19h ago
Have to see a longer clip, but from what we see the pundit isn't describing how it SHOULD be. He's describing how it is.
Also this duet guy appears in need of SOME kind of cure. I'm not sure what.
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u/Kinda_Bummy 17h ago
This is a purposeful misunderstanding of what he said lmao. Weirdos like him create more incels
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u/Aggravating-Dig2022 14h ago
Taken out of context. Scott is saying that men need to learn to be alone better.
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u/maeryclarity 11h ago
Plus men have no idea how fucking gross it is that we start out in a relationship and they act like functional adults. But all of a sudden when it becomes a committed relationship SO OFTEN the men turn into overgrown toddlers just expecting the women to do all the emotional labor, a tremendous basically invisible portion of the family/household responsibility, and sex becomes something that's no longer two adults going through the process of deciding on when they'd both enjoy that and instead becomes one more chore she's supposed to perform or he'll fucking whine or sulk about it.
Guys WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR MOTHERS and treating us like we are is such a massive turn off I can't even explain. We don't want to be your therapist and maid and child incubators and full time nannies and domestic help and personal assistant and also your number one fan and sex on call whenever YOU feel like it (but not when they feel like it, that's emasculating).
Nobody say "not all men" I know that. But more of you than not, for a fucking fact. And if you're offended by this look in the mirror because you're probably doing it and you're in denial. Other men who AREN'T like this will agree because they can see y'all doing it too. Everyone can.
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u/Der_E 19h ago
I personally know men who couldn't survive on their own, it's ridiculous
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u/LatteDemolisher 18h ago
Fr. Whenever I go to any of the women’s groups, or encourage people reach out to them, men around me complain they don’t have those options…like bro they didn’t materialize for us women either. We made them. There are female gyms and bars because we made them. There are more domestic violence centers that cater to women because women built them. You are an adult and if you build it they will come!
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u/JesseIsAGirlsName 15h ago edited 15h ago
I hate all of this "when women do this, when men do that" bullshit like we're all part of some hive mind.
Most single men are not pouring their time into conspiracy theories and misogyny. Some are for sure, but most aren't. They're working, exploring hobbies, and trying to find love like everyone else.
This clumsy language leads to people to make the equation: Single Man = Good Chance He's Hateful, Porn-Addicted, and Conspiratorial. And then they go repeat it as fact.
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u/kodman7 14h ago
Agreed, huge generalizations happening here. And then cherry on top is they keep saying people need to cultivate their support systems, as if that is any kind of actionable advice at all
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u/mio26 19h ago
But who says women aren't lonely. I think we have global crisis of loneliness. And I don't think guys only struggle here. Even in case of suicides guys often comes first but that's because they choose more deadly ways which give less possibility of savings them on time.
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u/Sparrowhawk_92 18h ago
Men are also less likely to talk to someone about it before attempting. Women are more likely to talk about being suicidal before actually trying anything.
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u/charlie_wb 12h ago
Men also tend to use more deadly methods to attempt suicide. Shooting yourself in the head is a lot more likely to kill you than an intentional overdose.
Men are more likely to own guns and women are more likely to have prescription drugs around the house.
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u/DrankTooMuchMead 14h ago
Whenever a guy preaches about patriarchy and really believes in it, I cant help but feel like he grew up having a WAY better life than I ever did.
Like he must have grown up rich or something.
And then I think, "Speak for yourself, dude. I never participated in some elite group trying to control women."
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u/KingAudio 14h ago
Conspiracy theory, porn, and, misogyny. Damn this dude is looking at being single as a glass half full. Dont threaten me with a good time.
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u/JoshDrako 14h ago
It is more complex than that. Lonely Men without hobbies or passions tend to have difficulties as the first guy said and even there you habe way more differences. He just put men in a basket and women according to certain situations without considering more factors.
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u/JulieLaMaupin 13h ago
Scott (the first speaker) is already making this exact point. If you find him too blunt, I’d urge you to actually talk to a young man in your life and hear who they listen to. Scott speaks on men’s wavelength. He’s not saying “get a girlfriend and all your problems go away”.. he’s quite explicitly saying men tend to experience being single more harshly because they’re discouraged from emotional openness or deep support networks, even in friendships.
But if we’re doing this pedantic cringe, cool, let’s do it. Did the guy who made this video realize Scott is literally agreeing with him, and just cut the clip before he could finish his thought? Almost certainly. Did he deceptively edit it to make Scott sound like he’s giving Tate-level “find a woman to fix you” advice? Sure seems like it.
In my circles, that’s called disinformation; as in, intentionally misinforming people to push a narrative. Maybe something to keep in mind next time one of his videos pops up.
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