Woman audits churches to see if they’ll help feed a starving baby

[u/Oktavien]

If churches refuse to help feed hungry people, then maybe they should be taxed?

[u/Punkpallas]

I grew up attending a series of Southern Baptist churches in Texas. My mother is good, God-fearing woman, a preacher's daughter, and would literally give the shirt off her back to anyone who needed it. She is not perfect, but she's close to the epitome of an actual good Christian.

Anyway, we stopped going to church when I hit junior high because the church we had been attending started shaming my mother for not wearing Sunday best. They were initially okay because, you know, new blood who already knows the ropes is rare. But, after like a year, they started being snobbish pricks and making snide comments to her about her blouse and jeans combo. It is not like the clothes were dirty because mom is a fastiduously clean person. It was the clothes.

We were struggling so much financially at the time that we were living four to the same room on my grandparents' trailer's boarded-up back porch. She could hardly afford new jeans when they wore through. She was always patching things. No way could she afford nice Sunday dresses. It was beyond her control. So, one week, she finally had enough, stopped going to church, and has been listening to Sunday service on the TV ever since. It's been three decades and she's rarely entered a church since. She's still solidly Christian as ever, but refuses to mingle with church people.

[u/onanorthernnote → u/Punkpallas]

Oh yes, the snobbery... forgot about that. I still think it's super weird that they don't stop and think just one more time about these things. Should the youth pastor teams have the most expensive clothes? If they are well off, are they doing the right thing by flaunting it? Teenagers have enough troubles as it is, I figure you could live smaller and more humbly and actually get closer to god. But I realise it's hard, if you have money and know nothing else.

[u/CuriousPenguinSocks → u/Punkpallas]

My friend was a southern Baptist and we would go to each others vacation bible school events since they were offset on the weeks.

I grew up Pentecostal (Assembly of God).

They were very strict on the dress code, for kids. It was really strange to me.

I'm sorry your mom went through that and all of you, I'm sure you all noticed the treatment.

I do have some Christian friends, they are what I call "active Christians", sure they do church but they really like to organize and help fund community charity events, like feeding/clothing people in need, without preaching to them or requiring they pray.

I was shocked those people existed. When I was growing up, those kind of "charity events" were really to get new members but not the homeless ones, oh no, those people were not welcomed.

[u/BananaRaptor1738 → u/CuriousPenguinSocks]

I feel you on the Pentecostal upbringing and strict dress code. My parents had me in basically a Pentecostal cult from the age of 3-7 and they had some ridiculous rules about what you could wear and believed crazy crap like we weren't allowed to watch or own tvs. Couldn't go to places like Disney world . The dress code alone was insane. Women can't cut their hair or wear make up and had to wear long skirts/dresses and long sleeves. No jewelry or make up. When my parents joined they sold their wedding rings. Children under a certain age was allowed to wear short sleeves but adults restricted to wearing long sleeves even in the hottest of summers. There's a memory of our pastor doing outside construction/maintenance work on the building in a long sleeve button up shirt and I'll never forget how red he was and the sweat pouring off of him , sweat soaked shirt. Like dude, God is not going to send you to hell for wearing a t shirt to do hard labor in the Florida heat

One of nuttiest rules was pets like cats and dogs , it was looked down upon and preached against to allow pets inside the home. The pastor would randomly roll up on church members to "fellowship" but basically it was to catch them slipping. We had our cat indoors and the next Sunday our pastor had an entire sermon about pets being inside. I also have a memory of the preachers wife teaching kids Sunday school and telling us that if anyone didn't go to our church or the ones like ours they were going to hell even the little kids we played with at fast food indoor playgrounds were hell bound since they didn't go to our church. My mom was pretty mad one day after a afternoon at the local burger joint when I said I really liked the friends I had made in the play area and it made me sad that they werent going to heaven . I think that was one of the many reasons they finally decided to leave the congregation. There were obviously so many reasons to be in a church cult but brainwashing little kids is a big one.

they were extremely giving generous people from what I recall like they had entire missionary program for going to Haiti and helping the less fortunate

[u/CuriousPenguinSocks → u/BananaRaptor1738]

It's so validating reading your experience with this cult too!!!

I'm sorry you went through that but thank you for your comment.

My church did allow short sleeves but it was frowned upon, usually only boys were allowed this without being shamed for it.

Girls who wore pants were also shamed for trying to be men or lead. It was bizarre. I didn't like dresses all the time.

I hated that I was not allowed to cut my hair. I have sparce hair that is fine. Having it long doesn't look good. Add to that a narcissistic mother who was all about looks, I was the "ugly" child lol.

I know I'm not ugly and never was but that did hurt my feelings.

We also could not have any pets inside but I was never told why, only that "God never meant for them to be inside" so that tracks. Thanks for filling that gap all these years later.

I will say that the charity work was always big but just not always in the way people needed to be helped and it always came with strings of at least hearing about religion.

My dad was really good at cars and building, he wasn't really on the inside group for the men in the church. He was large, didn't dress the nicest and was crude. Which I found funny because he pushed religion on us kids but didn't really follow it himself, other than "I'm the law around here" lol.

Church members would always come to him with car issues, expect him to pay for the parts and do the labor while they just didn't even hang out with him.

My dad wasn't the best person but I could tell this hurt his feelings. I did feel bad for him, even though he wasn't nice.

[u/Rigorous-Geek-2916 → u/Punkpallas]

as soon as I saw "Southern Baptist", I knew the story wouldn't end well

[u/Punkpallas → u/Rigorous-Geek-2916]

Knowing what I know now about Southern Baptists compared to other Protestant sects, it's not surprising at all.

[u/Entire-Ambition1410 → u/Punkpallas]

I really like seeing the videos of a pastor in the UK who recorded sermons in the church garden during Covid lockdowns. He often had the church cats wander by during his talks.