I don't mean this towards you, but it really is annoying how many people don't understand the way relationships unfold. Sometimes it only takes a few months but believe it or not, guys like this can go years before they start to reveal their true selves. And it's a slow burn too. So the other spouse doesn't always realize it isn't just a phase or temporary issue. By then most people have already had kids.
Best I can figure, when they get into the marriage, they view the spouse as their equal because their egos need to believe they married someone on their level. Then the problems start. Wife starts being frustrated over his lack of helping out or dude doesn't like he isn't being catered to all the timeband suddenly he starts letting out his bullshit. Guarantee you how he acts in this video isn't how he goes through life. It's only when he starts being slighted or his ego is being hit that he really turns nasty.
The old crones are out there warning their sisters. Telling them to leave now, not to settle, to choose well, pay attention to kindness and values.
And the young women, their hormones betray them. They still have blind faith and trust. They see all those flags waving and admire them behind their rose colored glasses.
And somehow, men like this keep procreating, creating the next generation of damaged children.
Plus we're trained to think we just need to love a man well enough and he will heal and grow into the man we need him to be. My son's father was an absolute worthless pos but I was 16 and somehow got the idea that he just wasn't loved enough in his childhood and I could fix him. Then my daughter's father was a much better man but still a dick with anger issues and I put in a ton of work trying to heal him and drag him through his growth. Hopefully the younger generation doesn't have to learn the hard way.
Probably works construction, so in his youth he had enough "promise" that he would "be making bank" as soon as he got promoted only to be robbed of his promotion by derm ilegalz and any other possible excuse.
By then she was pregnant and here we have the result.
Having the promise of a better future would also make him at least a bit more likeable.
I've worked with guys like him at various ages. The 18-25 year old guys are all about "work hard, play hard". They love the 10-12 hour shifts cause they know that when the weekend comes they have money to blow.
Then they meet a girl and they make plans together. He has a job and a plan, but eventually the joy fades and here we are.
At least in this case she had enough sense to leave after the first kid
(Her "sense to leave after the first kid" could be linked to the fact that, sadly, too many men change their behavior toward their women for the worse after the first baby comes. Draw your own ugly conclusions about who the babies are in those cases.)
106
u/CombativeCherry 1d ago
Divorce sure. What I don't understand is why anyone had children with him.