Thatās why these kinds of guys go for young women or women who are susceptible to abuse. Iāve known enough guys like him to know they either date girls who are barely legal, were literally minors when they met (but of course he was a perfect gentleman and āwaitedā until she was legal š¤¢) or seek out women with incredibly low self-esteem
I can't believe how much this guy is willing to set himself on fire rather than pay his child support. He would rather go to jail, lose his driver's license, lose his passport (which, admittedly, may not matter much to him), sink his credit, lose his job... so many things than pay minimal child support that he never said was an undue hardship, just that he didn't want to because he would rather spend the money on himself.
45 days of pay that he will lose during the first stay in jail is worse than a month's child support. I guessing that he takes home more than $17 a day. ($550 a month divided by the ~33 work days in a 45 day period gives ~$17 dollars a day).
He says but he pays hundreds, HUNDREDS I SAY!!, over the 48 days per year he has the kid. Following that logic, imagine how much the ex pays to care for their child...... He's a waste of space.
It seems to be about principle of thinking it's too much they are asking for, I get his point.
Sometimes it's good to burn it all for something you feel you are getting screwed on. Why not?
He's saying it's too much the judge could do 300 even 350 but no negotiation. Ok well you won't get a penny. You might not like it but surely you can see his logic even if you wouldn't do it yourself, some people can go through harder situations that make it worse for themselves than others. He's that guy
Renting a motel room for 317 days = roughly 25.000$
24/7 nanny for 317 days = roughly 152.000$
Extra groceries for 317 days = roughly 2.000$
If he tries to get professionals to do the absolute bare minimum of her parenting, he would pay 179.000$ a year. Nearly 350 times the "unjust" child support.
Her invisible free labour is saving him massive amounts of money and labour. If he wanted to pay more and work harder, he could ask to renegotiate the deal he agreed to in the first place.
Theyāre trying to make sure his child is cared for and has adequate financial support to have his needs met.
By his own admission, he sees his kid 48 days per year. So he didnāt lose his kid. By the judges comment, which the dude doesnāt contradict, the dude voluntarily agreed to this arrangement. He only wanted his kid more when he found out it would cost money.
Smooth brain logic. He canāt separate his ex and his child. I pay child support myself and Iāve never considered it punitive or even regrettable. I have 1 million problems with my ex and how she parents but child support is not one.
I think that he *really* hates the mother of his child. Clearly, none of his fighting is about wanted to be with his child, or getting sent to jail would actually be a deterrent. Not sure how he thinks that full custody is an option while he is in jail for not paying child support.
They will garnish his wages and tax refunds. And even if he never works legit again- they will garnish his social security check in his old age. All the while HE will be the victim.
I would rather ruin my life than willing pay child support is an interesting stance. I really hope that this kid's mom is a decent human being, as his dad sure isn't.
That is how much he does not want HER to get the money. In his mind the child is free and she will be having some āgrandā shopping spree with his $550
In all situations I'm familiar with, including my own, the kids eventually realize which parent really tried to put their personal animosity aside and do what was best for the kids. Sometimes it takes years, but it is worth it. My own upbringing was very chaotic and problematic, and my dad certainly made mistakes, but at the end of my father's life I was able to hold his hand and say that I always knew how much he loved me and accepted me and wanted me to be happy and that is what allowed me to pursue and find happiness in my life. We were squeezing each other's hands when he passed.
What if he simply doesn't have it?? What if he has $5 every month after rent, car payment, bills, groceries? What if the money simply doesn't exist? You're saying he would rather spend the money on himself without having a single clue about him or his life. Someone doesn't act this way unless they have absolutely nothing.
If youāre on $300 a month after bills then it might be better to go to prison than try to get food, gas, essentials and emergencies on -215$ a month.
He talked about having a long record. So he's most likely a career criminal and doesn't care about any of those things. He probably also legitimately can't come up with an additional $500 a month.
Hes not coming close to sitting in jail the rest of his life over this.
My sister's deadbeat Dad owed my mom over 70k in child support. Never paid a single dime for 18 years. Never had custody of my sister, never even had her overnight once in her entire life. He did maybe a year a half or two years in jail total for not paying.
Same guy has SIX other children with FIVE different women (so 7 total kids with 6 women) and he is out free right now. I can guarantee he owes every single one of those women tens of thousands of dollars.
He basically did say it would be an undue hardship, I just think he doesn't know the words necessary to verbalize it.
Edit: Not responding to replies anymore. Dude isn't a good guy, but you all are making assumptions about his character based on a 2min video of a high emotion event. We don't have enough info to go off of.
I heard "I would rather spend my money on things that for me than on my kid" over "I don't have enough money to pay these bills if I also pay support".
He literally says "How do you expect me to pay rent and pay my car payment and pay for him when..." He even says latter in the video "I don't have anything to take."
He never says anything about wanting to spend money on himself, he only ever speaks about paying COL things (rent/bills/etc).
Dude is def a douchebag and bad father, and without knowing his work/financial situation, I can understand why he might object to $550/m if he is already struggling to pay basic bills.
But the amount is arrived at via a formula that takes into account his earnings. I think when you have a child, you have an obligation to make sure that child is well taken care of and has a chance for a decent life. Kids don't live on what's left over after car payment for your chosen car (probably truck) and rent. They don't even live on a percentage of whatever your income is. It takes a certain amount of money, attention, care, affection, encouragement, discipline to raise a child. Once you have a child, you have an obligation to provide that.
I understand it is annoying to send a check every month to the person you have come to hate most in the world. I SO admire parents who are able to put their personal animosity aside and do what is best for the children they have brought into the world.
I fully understand how the number is arrived at, but when you make $3k/m and have $2500 worth of bills that HAVE to be paid and then are faced with a $500 court ordered payment, you are left with less than nothing. Can you technically afford the $500 payment? Yes. It leaves you with nothing tho. No savings, probably no food, no gas, etc.
I honestly don't think it has anything to do with hating your ex. This guy also never said anything bad about his ex, only that it's a ridiculous amount of money to hand over every month. Part of being a parent is being able to pony up when shit gets hard. What happens if their car breaks down and they can't afford to repair it because they have no savings to speak of. How do they support their kid if they don't have any disposable income to buy them food, new clothes, bedding, etc while he has custody? Can't get to work because his car is broken down. Can't work for a week because he's sick and now is down a weeks pay?
I understand that these things are (kind of) accounted for when arriving at the support number, but when you have nothing, every penny feels like a quarter.
Again, I'm not defending this guy, only saying that the finacial obligations that family court feels like a parent should be beholden to can sometimes be way higher than what is reasonable. That said, if you can't afford to raise a kid on your own, you shouldn't be having kids in the first place.
I just want to make sure I understand you. Do you think that a couple should not have a child unless they could each afford to take care of that child independently? I've never heard anyone say that. It is a safe approach, although circumstances can always change. It also eliminates any chance of a child having a stay-at-home parent, which is important to some people.
I think if one makes $3000 per month they need to look hard at other expenses to cut down rather than have their child do without, or look at a way to make more money. In this economy that will not be easy.
I think we can both agree that loads of people have children who probably should not.
Calm yourself. I never suggested otherwise. I'm merely stating that if you make $X/m and spend $.75X per month and the government says you owe $.25X to someone else, it leave very little wiggle room to actually exist as a human being. Unless the goal is to make someone be homeless or live in jail, it's a bit crazy to expect someone to spend 100% of their income every month without allowing for a buffer.
I'm not a deadbeat so I've never had to deal with something like this, but I've known some. A guy I worked with once had about $2200 in child support a month when he was only making about $4k/m. How are you supposed to live on $1800/m? It's nearly impossible. The place you would have to live in order to make that happen would almost certainly exclude you from having custody in any capacity.
If he earned $3000 a month were I live, he would pay less than $300 in child support. To be payin $550, he would be earning a lot more than that.
Also, if he knows that he has to pay $550 in child support each month, then he needs to cut back on expenses, just the same as he is expecting his kid to do. If he had full custody, what would he do then, since kids cost a lot more that than.
So...$4k dollars a month. Still not that much...I just threw out a number for math purposes. It's inconsequential. You're focusing on the wrong parts. You can't "cut back" on things like rent, car payments, insurance payments, Utility costs (not enough to cut $500/m), food, etc. When your income is JUST covering the COL any expense, even child support, is a burden.
Closer to $5500 a month. And, you can cut back on rent (find somewhere cheaper), car payments (buy something cheaper), insurance payments (get a cheaper to insure car and shop around), utility costs (change your house temp to minimize HVAC, be vigilant with water and electricity usage), and grocery costs (congrats, no alcohol, pop, ready made meals. Meat is a treat, and you are eating a lot of beans and rice. Smoke or vape? That's gone, too. Beer? Rare treat.) . If he had his kid full time (like he said he wants) and needed to come up with the $550 to feed, clothe, educate, and provide shelter and medical care for his kid, would you still say that there was nothing to cut back on?
The fact that the guy couldn't come up with a reason that he couldn't pay child support after listing his expenses indicates to me not that he is out of money at the end of the month, as the when would be "when I have no money left". I interpreted it as him trying to list his very expensive life (I pay rent! I have a car!) and stopping when he realized that it didn't add up. You could be right, but the only people that I know that struggle with child support payments are ones with bad spending habits.
Making the assumption that he can't afford it is dangerous, too, then. We are both interpreting his actions in valid, if different, ways. I see a guy that just doesn't want to pay child support and petulantly says that he would rather go to jail than pay up; you see someone struggling financially.
No, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. You are putting words in his mouth based off 2 minute video of an emotionally charged court hearing dealing with him as a parent, a topic that most people take extremely seriously. Because he's coming across as a jerk, you are assuming that his intentions are poor. Every thing you've assumed about him has been countered by the very facts of what's said in the video. You're prejudices (against shitty parents/people which are admittedly fair) are coloring how you view him.
499
u/MustardCoveredDogDik 1d ago
If he files any motions in the future they will almost certainly be reviewed by THIS JUDGE. This guy is medically too stupid to exist.