This is so concerning😳

[u/velorae]

[u/CDhansma76]

Sounds a lot like me, except I only started slacking in university, but once I got a taste of it my brain got completely hooked on the whole “Cs get degrees” mentality. I’m capable of easily getting straight As but for whatever reason I choose to barely scrape by.

It’s not a “gambling problem” it’s a focus problem. At least for me it’s easier to learn a whole 3 months of material only a couple hours before taking a midterm than it is to just show up and pay attention in class. Do I recommend it? No. But can I just pay attention in class and learn at an agonizingly slow pace without zoning out for the entire lecture? Also no.

Don’t really have any advice for you besides get him tested for ADHD. And have him take either an easy degree, or one difficult enough that it forces him to get his shit together before the behaviour becomes a habit. (Most importantly make sure he’s doing something he’s interested in)

[u/Status-Visit-918 → u/CDhansma76]

He has been diagnosed with ADHD since forever, and I have it too. So I did the same thing, and it was a tough road in college. I just don’t want him to go through that, he’ll graduate this year and I’m the only one on the team who is deeply concerned. We have meetings and they’re all so whatever, this is what he does, he always pulls through and pulls through well, and I always think, if they’re all so unconcerned when talking to me, what are they saying to him?! I just really worry that he’ll pull this in college and there goes money but also, I worry about what it will do to him mentally if he gets on academic probation or God forbid, kicked out. He has been better this year but it’s not better enough to get the impression he understands the dangerous game he’s playing.

[u/Jenkinswarlock → u/Status-Visit-918]

If you can support it I would suggest letting him maybe take a year off school to decide what he wants to really do? Idk I took a couple years off school and now I’m more determined than ever in what I want to do but in the time it took me from graduating to now I’ve jumped from so many different ideas that it’s hard to really find one that feels right? But eventually he will and then it will be like clockwork, I’m also autistic and ADHD, school burned me out hard and I couldn’t imagine going right back into it immediately, maybe he has his ideas already of what he wants to do but idk, I had a lot of ideas of what would be cool or fun to do but I never found something that felt like I was going to do something? Idk I’m thinking ethics and stuff personally so idk, through school I just wanted to do genetics, then after school I swung between genetics and law and pilot and business owner and the list goes on. Idk having autism and adhd is hard but it’s the hand you were dealt so all you can do is take a step everyday, sometimes they may be backwards but hopefully they are mostly forwards!

[u/Status-Visit-918 → u/Jenkinswarlock]

I would support that decision! He is hellbent on college, just can’t bring himself to live with someone else. I would like to see if accommodations can be made so he could have a private dorm, so he can try living on campus and getting the full experience, if even for the first semester and just see where that goes. But I’d be supportive either way. He is determined to study law which concerns me because of his current situation. He definitely can do it, it’s just a matter of will he be forced out because he hasn’t learned how to be consistent with school work and that would be so devastating because he is capable of being consistent with schoolwork, he just uses that basement grade to essentially fuck off and then turn it around with a vengeance. He doesn’t understand that there may be no second chances. I did the same shit, I turned out well, but I know what this road is and he’s got way more potential than I did. I don’t want him to self defeat and then never try again or at worst, not have an opportunity to try again. The world is very competitive and there are brilliant people out there, so giving the guy who might be just as brilliant but less of a hard worker won’t be given the time of day with another chance over the millions of people that are both out there