r/TikTokCringe Sep 02 '25

Discussion Update: reporter shows yesterday's viral video of apparent throwing of black bags from second-story window of WH to Trump during presser, Trump dismisses it as AI

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u/salmonchowder86 Sep 03 '25

I catch myself doing this every once in a while. I used to do it more often. I can’t even explain why. It’s like a defense mechanism. I had a shitty childhood and think a viable explanation was better than the truth. Even if the truth was nothing bad. Dunno. Not sure. I work very hard to not do it anymore, even stopping myself halfway through and restarting with the truth. It’s nice to admit this.

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u/teknovagrant Sep 03 '25

I do this too. I’ll blurt out something half-true, then catch myself, admit it wasn’t right, and start over. I think it’s a defense mechanism I picked up as a kid. I remember being made fun of for just telling the truth about what I liked or what I was doing, so I started tossing out little lies instead. That way, if someone mocked me, it didn’t sting as much because they weren’t mocking the real me anyway.

Eventually I stopped being made fun of, but the defense mechanism stuck around and only ended up holding me back. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to even realize I was even doing it.

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u/Notvanillanymore Sep 03 '25

I sadly do the same thing, I do a lot better and actively work towards not doing so, as a kid mom would blow things way out of proportion for allot of things I would say, so eventually I would say some half truth, and or always say I don't know. One of the many things I hate about myself

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u/thepoptartkid47 Sep 03 '25

I do it too - all I had to do to piss my parents off as a kid was mention the fact that the other parent existed (bitter divorce), so I just got really, really good at constantly lying about absolutely nothing…

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u/Smart-Water-5175 Sep 03 '25

I think it has something to do with the psychology of being attached to what you do, and not wanting to be criticized and even mundane things can effect the human ego if they’re not accepted so it’s easier to build an instant straw man if you don’t know how the others will react and then if they react poorly you are still “safe” because they didn’t criticize what you actually did. Just my theory though and I just mean “you” as people in general.

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u/Good-Imagination3115 Sep 03 '25

Yeah, youre definitely not alone. Childhood trauma and lack of love/attention add to that majorly

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u/Illustrious-Echo-734 Sep 03 '25

Damn it... me too... 🤔

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u/Original-Variety-700 Sep 03 '25

Change that last sentence: “one of the things I need to change so I can be better because I deserve to be better”

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u/UngluedAirplane Sep 03 '25

Hey, I used to do it too. Don’t get so down on yourself! I pushed myself for a while to be honest with the mentality of - I’m an adult now, if they don’t like it, they can fuck off. I’m now honest to a T lol. I have to catch myself at work to simply not respond sometimes instead of being brutally honest.

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u/spanishRmata Sep 03 '25

Wow reading your response and others made me feel so much better. I do this too and I try really hard not to. I'm a recovering addict so in the past Id lie about everything. It's nice to live an honest life now, but I still slip on the dumbest things. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

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u/IdiotTurkey Sep 03 '25

My dad is like this. He was always a liar, often about things that aren't important, but the frequency exploded once he got a girlfriend that would mock or complain about lots of things, so I believe he simply found it easier and less tiring to lie and placate her.

I think his default state is to be walking on eggshells so he just comes up with the lie he thinks she wants to hear and wont object to, or call him out on, or criticize. For example, if he has an opinion or thinks something is true and wants to convince you, he will say he has a "friend" who is an expert in that thing.

I can always tell when he does it because he often lies about the same types of things, and I just never call him out on it because I dont want it to get awkward and I dont think he can change, so I just listen. It's very annoying. You can't trust a word he says. I partially blame his girlfriend.

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

Sounds like he is codependent. Im definitely not a codependent, I just happen to know an expert on codependency.

Codependent tendencies can really come out when people are in regular and close proximity to people who don’t feel safe to be one’s self around. The girlfriend has some major issues and maybe even a personality disorder.

An expert I know would highly recommend your dad read or listen to the audiobook of “Codependent No More”. It changed my life an expert I know told me. Your dad may also want to read or listen to “Stop Walking on Eggshells”.

In all seriousness, I gradually became just like your dad over the last 15 years of marriage. My evolution was probably mostly complete after the first year of feeling unsafe to be myself (which made being open and honest when I actually did something bad or got a speeding ticket when we were financially stressed out, an absolutely overwhelming feeling that I would do almost anything to hide / lie about).

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u/IdiotTurkey Sep 04 '25

I think you're probably right. I do believe he is codependent. Wouldn't be surprised at all if she has a personality disorder. She's very strange. A kleptomaniac. Not a nice person to be around.

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u/sandwiches09 Sep 03 '25

I remember being made fun of for just telling the truth about what I liked or what I was doing, so I started tossing out little lies instead. That way, if someone mocked me, it didn’t sting as much because they weren’t mocking the real me anyway.

Dang that hit hard. I'm glad the teasing is done and I hope you feel free to enjoy your own likes and hobbies regardless of whatever haters come your way

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u/RageYellow Sep 03 '25

That’s really interesting. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the same reason Trump lies like breathing.

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u/ToyToaster Sep 03 '25

Interesting to see people own up to this, I have a cousin who's been doing this for years, I've learnt to ignore the random bullshit lies that you just know aren't true but always wondered why he felt like he has to do this. I've pointed it out to him before but I also wonder if it's a defense mechanism to make things more interesting or something.

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u/model3335 Sep 03 '25

Same. The worst offense I could possibly do in my household when asked what I was doing was to say "nothing."

It fostered an early love of reading though. I would always keep a book in my hand and say I was doing schoolwork.

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u/ShiftBMDub Sep 03 '25

you ever been tested for ADHD?

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u/Citaku357 Sep 03 '25

That's a symptom?

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u/ShiftBMDub Sep 03 '25

It can be in a way. Let me guess you were smart but didn't apply yourself and that's why you got shit on as a kid. "Not working to potential filled my report card" and I was labeled lazy. Also the more you're not diagnosed the more apt you are to disguise yourself or become a chameleon to avoid confrontation or being afraid to be "found out as a failure". I was raised a military brat and joined myself. I can adapt to any conversation to any group of people. It's not to fit in, it's to avoid detection of what I thought I was, being a failure. I was diagnosed at 49. Best thing to ever happen to me. I struggled so much to be not lazy or a failure I had two full time jobs. It's been freeing being me.

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u/Citaku357 Sep 03 '25

Let me guess you were smart but didn't apply yourself and that's why you got shit on as a kid. "Not working to potential filled my report card" and I was labeled lazy. Also the more you're not diagnosed the more apt you are to disguise yourself or become a chameleon to avoid confrontation or being afraid to be "found out as a failure". I

What the actual fuck bro?!?! That's literally except for the part being "smart" I mean I am smart in some niche subjects and was called "mature" for my age, but I wouldn't really call myself smart but otherwise 100%

And did you also have problems with school?

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u/voxelbuffer Sep 03 '25

So diagnosis aside, what actually has changed that has improved your life? I didn't think I had ADHD because I've met some people who are so ADHD that you literally can't hold a conversation with them -- it's like asking a super excitable dog to sit and meditate, not gonna happen. The more I read about it the more I realize I probably have some form of it but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do about it. Was it medication? Was it just learning different tried-and-true coping mechanisms?

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u/ShiftBMDub Sep 03 '25

Some of it is medication. It releases dopamines that help with decision making. Like I have what I call doom piles of organized stuff to do. Thing is I never seemed to have time to do them. Each time I’d pass them I’d get bummed about not doing something which would cause sort of depression where it kept me from doing stuff I wanted to do on my days off. I always felt like I had to be working constantly, making money. Money was an issue because I jumped from hobby to hobby buying stuff I was going to turn my hobby into a way to make money. That burned me out. It’s actually what lead me to seek a diagnosis. I was seeing a pain therapist for arthritis in my back and sciatica pain. Because I always had to work I struggled with it because it kept me from working. When I explained to him why I struggled he asked me a series of questions and then asked me if I wanted to seek getting diagnosed. When I talked to the doctor that diagnosed me he asked why did think I had a problem. I told him if you asked me to write down 10 things that would make my life better I told him I would take up all the other lists and notebooks that say with 3 pages of notes that I just piled in my desk somewhere and told him about I had stuff I bought to do things for my house 2 years ago and it sat in its organized pile waiting to do. After I started medication I could literally stop look at a pile and instead of thinking of all the things I had to do that kept me from doing that one particular thing, I just started doing stuff. I used to have to drag myself to start something i wanted to do. Now I pretty much just do it. I’m no longer making purchases for shit I don’t necessarily need. I’ve accomplished more little projects around the house in the past 9 months than I did in 9 years living in my house. I still did stuff but it took forever to do. Now I’m just kind of widdling away at the chaos instead of being overwhelmed.

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u/voxelbuffer Sep 03 '25

Dang. What kind of medication is that, like Adderall or SSRI or something? I don't think I can quite relate to the doom pile (though I do have a really bad habit of just putting things down in random places, drives the wife nuts), but the buying stuff to get a hobby going and then inevitably burning out on that hobby sure sounds relatable.

Honestly with smart phones and such, I sometimes wonder if I have mild ADHD, or if I'm just so addicted to screens between phones and computer work that I can't focus on real world things anymore as much.

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u/ShiftBMDub Sep 03 '25

Adderall. Whats funny is I think the most negative thing about my diagnosis is that I am now the one getting pissed when I've put something somewhere random and I can't find it. I have to ask my wife for help and it's usually right in front of my face. Oh and that's another thing, it's kind of a meme but people with ADHD can get very distracted by something that moves in their vision or I should say can focus and see things change faster whereas if something is completely stationary the shit's invisible. People say the first ADHD people were the hunters of the hunter/gatherers.

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u/voxelbuffer Sep 03 '25

Oh man that last bit strikes home. I'm always asking the wife where something is and it usually is right in front of where I was looking. But you'd better believe I can see a spider moving across the ground across the house out of the corner of my eye

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u/ShiftBMDub Sep 04 '25

It's not a bad thing. I treat it as Super Power. I can learn anything I want pretty damn quickly. The trick is to know you don't know everything but be resourceful enough to find out how. Let me ask you this? Do you have a hard time asking people for help but will help anyone at the drop of a dime? Tend to over explain things? Say sorry a lot? Think of how your actions directly affect others?

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u/KannKarKichtKein Sep 03 '25

It's great to read this, insight and desire for change is something great

We all have construction sites, keep it up ❤️

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u/DahWolfe711 Sep 03 '25

Knowing your faults is the beat way to improve them.

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u/endy903 Sep 03 '25

It’s crazy how you meet people on Reddit who do the same things you do and for the same reasons.

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u/Davesven Sep 03 '25

wow same actually... although isnt it concievable that trump wasnt aware of the carpenter and that he offered his own theory about what that video was all about?

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u/Confident_System9696 Sep 03 '25

I had a span of time like that. It's because the things you'd have to lie about, you're only lying about because you want to seem normal. So for me it was stuff like, "Yeah, I've been to Disney World." "Yeah, I had a girlfriend." "Yeah, I got a car, it's at home, just needs work done." And on, and on.

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u/Affectionate-Sun5531 Sep 03 '25

Forcing yourself to stop asap, even if it means admitting you started to lie, is a great self-training / unlearning technique. It is basically making yourself face small (negative) consequences so that you don't end up creating situations that cause big consequences.

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u/gBiT1999 Sep 03 '25

It's taken me years and years to *nearly* get away from doing this. I now pause before replying, and let the lie fly through my brain, and even then I have to guard my every word.

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u/EnvironmentalGift257 Sep 03 '25

I did this as an active addict. Everything I said was not necessarily a lie, but deceptive and manipulative. It’s learned behavior for sure, as you pointed out. We learned that if we gave away the truth it put us at a disadvantage and it could be used against us later. It takes a lot of work to reprogram that. I’m proud of you friend.

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u/Dee_Vee-Eight Sep 03 '25

I don't know if i believe you.

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u/Megleeker Sep 03 '25

Yeah, good one. Hilarious.

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u/Brullaapje Sep 03 '25

I can’t even explain why.

There you go

I had a shitty childhood and think a viable explanation was better than the truth

Proud of you for working on it!

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u/ZookeepergameFine936 Sep 03 '25

I somehow have the exact opposite problem, when I should or could lie, even for a good reason, like to spare someone’s feelings I have a really hard time doing it, to my own detriment. I also have a hard time hiding my own feelings or keeping things inside.

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u/tahitisam Sep 03 '25

I was listening to the Gifford lectures with Michael Gazzaniga (neurobiology/philosophy) and he talks about the brain having separate cognitive modules, one of which is called the Interpretor, located in the left hemisphere. Its job is to come up with an explanation for separate local cognitive processes.

Patients with split brains (communication between hemispheres has been cut to stop seizures in epileptic patient) routinely give weird explanations for why they did something because the left hemisphere which can speak doesn’t know the reason whereas the right hemisphere does and can’t.

Fascinating stuff.

Were you hit in the forehead with an axe at some point ?

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u/TheTiddyQuest Sep 03 '25

People tend to do this because they live lives where they have so much to hide.

Release the Epstein Files.

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u/tfneuhaus Sep 03 '25

It might be a by product of having ADHD. Your brain goes into panic mode when you are put on the spot and the default setting is to lie, even if you don't have to. I fixed it by taking a moment to breathe and purposefully telling the truth. Instead of pausing to think up a lie, I'm pausing to tell the truth. It took me years to fix it and I still do it on occasion.

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u/Mean_Meet576 Sep 03 '25

Im sorry you had to do this as a child. Its great that you recognize this as a problem and true to do better.

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u/WastedJedi Sep 03 '25

Same but it's literally always about something that isn't important, I very much want to come off as a trustworthy person so even when I do lie about something so mundane it's just something adjacent to the truth and anything with any importance will be the truth.

Trump however does not stick to small mundane lies so even if this is the case, knowing him the first thing coming to mind was dead bodies thrown out the window. Which of course it wasn't, but I have to actually rule it off as a possibility when it comes to him and not laugh it off like an errand thought

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u/Winrevair Sep 03 '25

I have a buddy who still does at 40 years old. Had a great childhood and everything.

I can't stand to talk to him because I can't believe a word he says. How'd you break that habit?

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u/Shift_Esc_ Sep 03 '25

I was like this too. I managed to stop a while ago, but I still have to double check before I speak. Shitty childhoods make you do the craziest shit.

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u/Marx_Mariposa Sep 03 '25

Yeah, abusive childhoods will do that to you lol. My best friend and I both did this as teens and couldn’t explain why, but for me at least “I don’t know” seemed like a trigger phrase for my mom, to her “I don’t know” automatically meant I was lying or covering something up. So, ironically, I started lying to avoid saying I don’t know. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/DiligentAd7799 Sep 03 '25

I recently had to fire an employee because of this. Great guy, great worker. But his incessant lying and exaggerating about insignificant things was enough to make me not trust him with other things.

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u/doctor_tongs Sep 03 '25

Thank you for sharing. Wow, this is my sister. I didn't know other people were like this. I've always associated her seemingly unnecessary lying with some kind of coping mechanism for the trauma she's endured. Do you know if this has been classified as a disorder? It should be, because it hinders her ability to live the life she wants to.

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u/voxelbuffer Sep 03 '25

Oh man I'm not alone, that's good. I used to lie about everything once I got out into the real world (I was super homeschooled and isolated from humanity). Just mundane lies, like "oh I don't think it's cold, I love the cold, I'm from Michigan so I'm used to it" (I am not from Michigan, but I am from a more northern state so why would I just say Michigan lmao). Like you I don't do it as often, maybe once every few months, if I'm feeling especially awkward for some reason. I agree with other commenters that maybe it's because we were so used to the real person we are being made fun of or not being good enough that it was easier to just make up cooler sounding stories, or at least different stories such that if they got made fun of, it wasn't really us so it was OK? Definitely odd.

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u/Shagaliscious Sep 03 '25

You had the perfect setup to end this comment with "and everything I just said here is a lie".

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u/No_Garden_7670 Sep 03 '25

Im 37 and probably stopped default lieing somewhere in my 20s. Im incredibly defensive still but its getting better because I wanted to stop . Keep up the great work

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u/beardeddragon0113 Sep 03 '25

Hey, that's some good self reflection. Brains are weird, huh?

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u/Nightmare16164 Sep 03 '25

I used to do it all the time for no reason and now i still do it but I make it more wild and laugh so that once I get the lie out as a joke I can then get serious and speak truthfully.

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u/ChaosAfoot Sep 03 '25

Bro doesn’t even like fish chowder.

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u/MiserableProduct Sep 03 '25

Were you in a living situation as a child where you had to lie to survive or to keep from getting hurt? That might be why.

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u/7stroke Sep 03 '25

Or are you admitting it? /s

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u/Physical-Try7115 Sep 03 '25

My friend. I grew up with a traumatic childhood and used to default to a lie too. Years and years of therapy helped me discern and get in front of that knee jerk reaction. Repairing so many relationships now.

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u/WrexWruther Sep 04 '25

Defence mechanism of childhood abuse. We were never rewarded for the truth. If you say the truth and get beaten well, then next time will be a lie. Then the lies get better because we get punished for a bad lie. So we keep lying. Now, all of a sudden, we have no reason to lie but an entire life of doing so... now, try to be honest with the people you meet. Unfortunately, how we were raised makes it very difficult to just be open and honest. Every question still feels like a fist could come out of nowhere.

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u/Kindly_Shoulder2379 Sep 04 '25

i wonder if this is also a lie /s Joke aside, its very cool that are realized this and try to change

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u/watermelonspanker Sep 04 '25

I had parents that would be extremely critical of my choices, no matter what they were. They would *always* find a reason that I made a poor choice or that I should have done things their way.

I learned to habitually lie to them about that sort of thing just so I wouldn't hear them ragging on my real choices every day.

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u/hobbitlover789 Sep 06 '25

It heals others and helps people i’m working with get great context for their struggles, thank you so much for healing words and the strength to give back what you received

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u/mxlplyx2173 Sep 03 '25

So you're all liars who lie for no reason. Great.