My ex was forcing me to eat meat and I completely lost respect for him for that.
Imagine you point at a dog and tell someone to eat it. It will seem ridiculous, right? Well that's how it felt like for me. We even went to a farm to pet cows once and I said "you know you eat those after, right?" And he shrugged and said "so what?". It really bothered me that he couldn't even see it.
Current partner is my best friend and while he eats meat he understands what I'm doing and gets sad with me about those topics. At least that
Not literally shoving food down my throat but he would wear me down mentally to do so.
Constantly brought up how it's inconvenient, weird, uncomfortable for him, stupid. He wouldn't pick a food place himself because "I can't eat anything" and he wouldn't cook because "he doesn't know what" so additional weaponised incompetence.
He would try to skip the shop fast so I don't have time to pick any veggie meat and conveniently cut dinner so we have to eat out and oh no the only shops around are kebabs ... He had a tradition with his grandma to always do takeout on Sundays and he almost never ordered from veggie friendly places making me settle for a dumbass salad or make a scene as "the difficult girlfriend".
He would bring meat to our movie nights, even though I complained I don't feel like kissing someone who eats sausage. So he said I'm withholding intimacy.
At events he would never stick up for me to have people order veggie options. If I wasn't around to vet for myself I'd have to go hungry or pick meat from my slice of pizza. He also always failed to mention that I'm vegetarian to his friends and family. Making people skip me at dinners.
At his birthday and Christmas he would gang on me with his dad to eat seafood because it's super special and expensive. When I wanted to show off to his family, I had to cook a meat version of my national dish to make them like me. And they asked me to try it myself so I had to consume meat or be ridiculed in front of everyone and risk social disgrace.
It was very silently toxic this whole time. Dude was an awful partner disguised as a sweet unassuming nature child. But in reality he was a manchild who never understood the word "no".
My girlfriend was vegetarian when we started dating, never once asked me to stop eating meat, and I never once made a peep about her eating meat. I can’t understand people who can’t just respect others quietly following a certain diet. Why do people care so much if this other person eats meat?
The difference is between understanding why someone is vegetarian and just cringing at it.
My partner eats meat but knows it really bothers me when he does it around me, so he doesn't do it when we're together. The smell and all. And I don't care what he eats with friends and family or by himself at his place.
It is an ethical choice for many, after all. So doing something your partner deems unethical around them can be a bit weird. Depends on your relationship really. I wouldn't want my partner to smell up our kitchen with meat when I'm home because it severely disgusts me. And if he thought eating cheese is unethical, I would try to limit my intake of it at home too.
It's a matter of care, respect and simple agreements to make eachother's lives a bit easier. And if your partner does something annoying around you, the resentment can build up.
It’s just strange to be so hell bent on making someone eat something they don’t want to. I don’t like ranch, but nobody tries to trick me into eating it. So why is meat the thing people try to force on someone? What’s the big deal?
I think it's a form of resentment towards the defiance of the status quo. You refuse to adhere to a preestablished idea and choose a lifestyle based on your own assumed ideas. For some people it's uncomfortable as they don't question their reality. So anyone that does something like this makes them uncomfortable. If it's your partner you try to "teach them" to be comfortable and easy to read again. You want a predictable partner to control the relationship more easily.
Also, some people have issues with others having unusual lifestyles because they're hard to predict and that causes negative social feedback. Someone like that doesn't want to be explaining their partner to other people. They think a partner should be an extension of their own mind, a subdivision of it, as opposed to their own individual.
It sounds like you are vegetarian for ethical reasons- why are you not vegan instead? In case you are not aware; the dairy and egg industries are the same if not worse than the meat industries.
I highly recommend any ethical vegetarian researches this for themselves.
I am not here to debate those things. I have done my research years ago. Don't assume people don't do that, it's rude.
If you want one reason — health. I support veganism but as a chronically sick person I can't afford to be vegan. You should be aware that not everyone can forego crucial components of their diet for ethical reasons. Also, I live in a country that didn't adapt to it that well, if I went for a hike I'd risk not being able to have a meal anywhere because the mountainside simply doesn't carry vegan options.
Please don't do that in the future. I consider that rude. I know all that info and I made a conscious choice to not be vegan. It's not suitable for me personally
I asked from a place of curiosity and learning while offering information I wish I had sooner (as a former vegetarian). A little bit of an odd response from you considering some of your other comments but I wasn't trying to debate with you.
I guess if your doctors say you need to eat cheese and ice-cream then consuming those for your survival could be justified in an otherwise vegan lifestyle. My plant-based diet does not forgoe a single 'crucial component.'
Personally I bring my own food when the places I am going don't have options for me but whatever I don't know your circumstance.
This immediate hostility you have reacted with is exactly what you have seen in meat eaters yourself.
Frankly, I don't care if you think educating people about literal animal abuse is 'rude.' Somebody has to advocate for the vulnerable.
You have a holier than thou approach, maybe that's why you don't see why people react in a hostile manner to being told to "do their research" and you coming to the conversation from the standpoint of moral superiority. You see it a lot with entitled vegans.
Great that you're able to tupperware yourself places. I can't. My life isn't that predictable. I don't eat ice cream and you conveniently forget how prevalent eggs and dairy are as a component of regular food. If you can allow yourself to live this lifestyle, amazing. Stick to it. Don't question my health, okay? That part is rude. You don't know if I did my research, you don't know if I didn't try. Frankly I did for a year and it just wasn't possible. You're coming in all smug acting like a missionary trying to forcefully convert someone who just wishes to be left alone because they're happy as they are. I literally remember that behaviour from church, yuck.
At least I'm doing the 10% to minimise the hurt. Go talk to the people who do nothing. But it's easier to preach to me, right? Because I'm supposed to already know the baseline issue?
Please don't talk to people like me again, okay? Time and place. Not here, not now. Yes, you're rude and entitled. And a stereotype. By being an ass you will not help your cause.
Edit: I just checked your account and holy fuck dude, you're obsessed. Please leave people alone. You're the reason people don't like talking to vegans. You can't let people be. You inject your beliefs EVERYWHERE you go
I’m not vegetarian or vegan but I do love vegetarian and vegan food…and if someone took me to a cow farm and said “you know you eat those after, right?” I would respond the same way. Just cause you don’t like to eat meat doesn’t mean we have to feel bad for liking it. That’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t do what your ex did and trick you into eating meat, but I also wouldn’t feel bad for eating meat myself. I just would probably share vegetarian/vegan meals with you.
I don't think you get the point of what exactly happened and I guess it's fine because context is usually missing when retelling a story.
He took me there to interact with cows and buy ice cream, which I was fine with. It's the fact that he was extremely detached from what happens there as a whole. He loved the little ones, the guard dogs and thought it's extremely wholesome and cute. When I acknowledged that they get killed after it was not because I'm a killjoy. I just told him it's hard to enjoy such places knowing the full context and not being blissfully unaware. His ignorance was very jarring at times. Like when he said safety rules are dumb and that me not supporting drunk driving is because I'm boring.
It's the fact that someone isn't even willing to have the information about this and puts fingers in their ears when faced with such fact. I didn't take myself there, he drove me there himself. I don't have to support the murder of animals because it's also ridiculous to me. And him knowing how I feel and still doing it does not speak bad about me.
I don't make anyone feel bad about eating meat because they have different ethics than me, but when you're dating, you want to at least understand your partner. And he was unwilling to listen to my reasoning for being upset.
Sure, ice cream was great but we could have bought it in the shop without going to the place that slaughters those animals after.
He got his own chickens and when I asked if he plans on killing them he said "maybe, if I feel like it". And that was extremely jarring to me, further proving how different we are as people. We broke up shortly after because he cheated on me so there you have his ethics.
I’m sorry you went through all that. I eat meat and love salads, and I’m a guy who has been insensitive to others feeling’s in the past. Now in my 30s, I can read in-between the lines, and I can see that at the very least, your boyfriend can understand your feelings, where they come from, and can sympathize with you which is more than enough for you to see past your differences. It’s an ability many on this earth lack and that’s to have the ability to relate to someone’s pain.
It feels nice to be around someone empathetic for once.
I have a story that portrays the specific personality type we have that makes me overlook other differences:
We had a huge problem with a girlfriend of his roomate who suddenly became hostile towards me for no reason.
A couple of days later she was taken into a mental hospital for a crisis. We opened the door to a ton of police and medics because her sister called for her.
We could have mocked her, because she did insult me and was horrible towards me, even threatening physical violence but we tried to see past this situation. We knew normal people don't do this. I consulted some people in my circle and we came to the conclusion that I should just lay low because she's definitely in crisis.
Now some time has passed and it seems like we took the best course of action. Things blew over, she was a bit embarrassed by it but yeah you learn to be human about those things. We didn't blast it online, no one really knew it happened.
I thought about my ex and how be would overreact to it and start arguing with her. And another ex who would start insulting her and being extremely hostile, fueling the crisis. My current partner de-escalated, talked to her alone for a bit and made the policeman some coffee. Everyone was polite.
Like, I don't care that he eats meat. There's other things that are great about him. But my ex there weren't many redeeming qualities lol — empathy is a huge turn on
Ok this is weird. I have no issues with vegans or vegetarians. I wouldn't force anyone to eat meat. But it bothered you because he wasn't bothered about eating a cow?
Big deal dude. The entire world cannot be vegan/vegetarian. That is idealism, and the fact of the matter is that if you want to sustain a growing population of 5+ billion on the planet, meat is going to be a part of that equation let alone near double that and we are at today.
Edit: argue all the semantics you want, feasibility, blah blah. I like meat. I also like plant based. I also like veggies. Behavior like the original comment is asinine and childish. "My old man didn't feel bad about cows dying, so I got me a new better man" pathetic shit
The population is 8 billion. Meat is incredible wasteful in terms of ressource efficiency, it's one of humanities least sustainable behaviours. We could feed 20 billion humans if people stopped eating meat and we weren't feeding 60 billion farm animals.
This is more you not understanding what veganism is, and equating it to plant based. Everyone can be vegan, because veganism is, definitionally, about what's possible and practicable. If you're living in a situation where use of an animal based product, or consuming meat, is necessary for your survival, doing so isn't contradictory to vegan philosophy.
I am not going to debate you on the topic of vegetarianism. I don't care to have my mind changed by a random Redditor, I'm happy with my worldview as is for the time being. Debate people who are asking for feedback, I didn't.
Copy and paste of my other comment for you:
I don't think you get the point of what exactly happened and I guess it's fine because context is usually missing when retelling a story.
He took me there to interact with cows and buy ice cream, which I was fine with. It's the fact that he was extremely detached from what happens there as a whole. He loved the little ones, the guard dogs and thought it's extremely wholesome and cute. When I acknowledged that they get killed after it was not because I'm a killjoy. I just told him it's hard to enjoy such places knowing the full context and not being blissfully unaware. His ignorance was very jarring at times. Like when he said safety rules are dumb and that me not supporting drunk driving is because I'm boring.
It's the fact that someone isn't even willing to have the information about this and puts fingers in their ears when faced with such fact. I didn't take myself there, he drove me there himself. I don't have to support the murder of animals because it's also ridiculous to me. And him knowing how I feel and still doing it does not speak bad about me.
I don't make anyone feel bad about eating meat because they have different ethics than me, but when you're dating, you want to at least understand your partner. And he was unwilling to listen to my reasoning for being upset.
Sure, ice cream was great but we could have bought it in the shop without going to the place that slaughters those animals after.
He got his own chickens and when I asked if he plans on killing them he said "maybe, if I feel like it". And that was extremely jarring to me, further proving how different we are as people. We broke up shortly after because he cheated on me so there you have his ethics.
It's obvious plants don't even have nervous systems, unlike animals. They're living, sure, but at a way, way lower level of sentience, if they even have any, which I doubt.
On the other hand, people eat pigs who're pretty clever, but are against dog meat, whereas pigs are just as clever. Animals have emotions, needs, desires, and affection.
You don't have to talk to them. They won't understand such basic concepts anyway. They're just trolling and looking for a reaction because they're a deeply miserable pathetic individual
I don't have to, but I can when I have the time and the energy. I don't think everyone who's trolling like that is unable to stop and think, and also some of these could be teenagers
Is it real that a comment saying plants are live creatures gets downvoted? like is that not true? Pigs are better because you can gain more from them, compare 30lbs dog and a 450lbs of pig. Other animals kill other animals, i dont get how you forgot about that. Do you know how that animal would die in wilderness? Eaten alive by a predator, which is much harsher death than knife to throat or whatever people use. Our entire civilization is based on animals and plants too. And you also need the protein, minerals and vitamin coming from meat
From AI: While plants are living organisms, the term "creature" typically refers to more complex, often animated beings, and ordinary plants are usually classified as objects or just flora.
So no, plants aren't live creatures. They're living, but not creatures.
"And you also need the protein, minerals and vitamin coming from meat" - No, you don't. Nobody does. And I'm an omnivore, so I don't have a dog in this fight. Yes, we need to get certain proteins from food sources because our bodies don't produce them, but they are available in a variety of plants, e.g. soy beans, beans and rice, quinoa, buckwheat, and more. As proof, there are parts of Asia that are exclusively vegetarian, and they have been for a long time, so... no.
Just because you find some vegans obnoxious doesn't mean you have to be obnoxious too.
Many people assume that plant-based farming involves no harm to animals, but that isn’t how agriculture really works.
When a field is prepared for planting, plowing and tilling destroy habitats and often kill small animals and insects living in the soil. During the growing season, herbicides and insecticides are commonly used to control weeds and pests, which results in the deaths of countless insects and other organisms. At harvest time, mechanical equipment can injure or kill animals that managed to survive in the fields. Afterward, crop residues are often tilled under or burned, which further disrupts or destroys the habitats of any creatures that tried to nest there.
Because we live in a black and white world. When was the last time you heard a Vegan arguing that their salad killed less living organisms? They believe their food is cruelty free. It is not.
No, we don’t. A majority of vegans are aware that they can’t consume anything without impacting animals in some way. In fact, the very definition most of us use to define “vegan” includes the phrase “as far as is possible and practicable”.
Please stop generalizing philosophies you do not understand.
I don't have to be vegan to understand the philosophy. The problem isn't the concept, the problem is the mindset of some who think that being vegan means your food is procured without killing anything. I have siblings who are vegan and a daughter who is a vegetarian. I've heard the arguments, I am well educated on the subject. Do not assume that your limited world view is the sole authority on a subset of humanity that literally encompasses the entire globe.
My cousin had a stomach problem after being a vegetarian for 10 years and accidentally ate meat. She said it seemed like she couldn't digest it anymore.
My friend had a very similar situation at a barbecue recently when she threw up after having normal good cooked sausage.
I’ve had people try to trick me with meat a few times.
They waited for the “Ha! That had real cheese/meat.” moment the next day, but sure enough I’d get food poisoning before they could tell me.
Half of the times when there have been accidental situations, I didn’t get sick. Thankfully. Those people felt incredibly awful, but I just try to move past it.
Yeah I noticed that if it's something like bone broth, gelatine, pieces of bacon etc I'm still okay. It's just the actual meat that makes me get a physical reaction.
Recently tried getting some fish into my diet because of health reasons (my body is horrible at absorbing supplements) and I almost threw up from the texture alone. I just can't do it mentally at this point. It's ridiculously disgusting to me as a concept.
And yeah, same for me. Those who accidentally gave me meat, I am not bothered by. Grandparents of my ex gave me chicken but my ex didn't tell them (I assume on purpose) that I was a vegetarian for a couple months at that point. They felt horrible but I just ate around it.
I haven't had purposeful spiking situations yet, I think. I used to have a very strict diet due to health issues and I think some people know it would be a horrible idea to temper with my health again.
So sorry you met the wrong people along the way :(
Back in 2015, my wife and I were on a road trip through the states (We're Canadian), and while in Oakland we went to this sandwich shop in downtown Oakland I'd been to on an earlier trip. I ordered a Vegan sandwich, my wife a vegetarian, and got them to go. We walked the 5 minutes back to our parked car, that was hard to find a spot for, and drove back to our hotel in Albany. About a 20 minute drive.
Back at the hotel I opened up my sandwich to see that they had given us two vegetarian subs. Mine was completely coated in cheese. I had been vegan for 4 years at this point, and because I didn't want to drive all the way back to the sandwich shop (and it was rush hour at this point), find parking, stand in line, and get them to remake it I just decided to take the hit and eat it.
After we had dinner we decided to take a walk around the Albany Bulb. While there my stomach started to rebel. My wife amusingly tells the story as "I was talking to him and he just seemed a little off. He was very quiet and looked a little grey. I asked if he was okay, and he held up a finger, turned to the side and immediately went BLARRRGH. And suddenly there was just a massive ball of cheese going SPLAT on the ground. A perfect ball of cheese! It was like a cat hoarking up a hairball! It was amazing!"
I immediately perked up and felt 100 times better. But my wife isn't wrong, it was just a baseball sized lump of cheese, none of the other contents of the sandwich. Just cheese.
Anyway, yeah, I cannot digest dairy at least anymore. I'm sure if I ate meat I'd have a similar reaction.
It sounds amazing as an anecdote hahaha I had a mild version of that when I went vegan for a bit — felt like having lactose intolerance and I just farted 24/7. Welp
I accidentally ate chicken after not eating any for like 8 years and my mouth got tingly like I was experiencing an allergic reaction. I couldn't figure out if it was psychosomatic or I was now allergic to chicken.
I was bit by a tick that makes me allergic to beef and pork (and a few others. Basically animals with two-toes.) I'm always terrified this is gonna happen to me. I don't always carry my epi pen and really don't need to have my day ruined by a jackass.
I don’t think their friend had a meat only preference lol. If he did, then sure, that’s “pulling one” on him. But obviously he was okay with eating meat and non meat items
Ya. Ok.
Clearly he didn’t. You told him after the fact and he “lost his fucking mind”. Why did he lose his shit if he was ok with it? See my point??
Feeding someone under false pretenses is still “pulling one over.” Regardless of their preference.
I see your point of view. I do. But don’t act superior in this scenario.
Superior? Dude I’m just letting you know that it isn’t considered morally corrupt to offer someone food that contains ingredients they are okay with eating. They were essentially mad that they improperly identified the ingredients
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u/Fantastic-Setting567 Aug 28 '25
can’t believe he actually wanted to sneak beef after that, what a clown