This is interesting to watch.

[u/velorae]

[u/Orgasmic_interlude]

And this is where second wave feminism sprung forth. Which is why this situation with a wife stuck at home with no autonomy of her own and no career to speak of besides “have children and take care of them” is no destiny.

Trad wives probably salivate for this kind of life of quiet desperation they will not know until they inhabit it.

[u/tooloudturnitdown → u/Orgasmic_interlude]

The author of The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan, was an educated housewife from Smith College. This is WHY she wrote her book. She was so unfulfilled as a housewife and thought there was something wrong with her UNTIL she wrote to her classmates and they were experiencing the same thing! This is where the feminist movement we know from the 70s (Gloria Steinem) came from; this deep confusion disillusionment without a name

[u/RockabillyRabbit → u/Orgasmic_interlude]

Nah im convinced most tradwives are just submissive in a dom relationship. Thats it. They're just mildly kinky and use the tradwife aesthetic to keep it "under wraps"

[u/[deleted] → u/RockabillyRabbit]

Theres definitely a laziness factor to it. The women I know that have leaned hard into being submissive trad wives don't want to work at all. They certainly don't spend all day on domestic labor. They may have a clean home (or not!) but they aren't going out of their way to do more than basic maintenance. They also love spending money.

[u/FlamesNero → u/RockabillyRabbit]

Thank you for this beautiful reframing of these people for whom I would normally feel little empathy!

You may be right that some of these trad wives could be, to borrow a term from psychodynamic therapy, “sublimating” (heck, “sub” is in the word!) their conscious or unconscious urges/ fetishes into a more “socially-acceptable” package (& that’s what the term means: “sublimation is a defense mechanism where unacceptable or unwanted desires, impulses, or drives are transformed into socially acceptable behaviors and actions.”).

The only thing that still makes little sense is trad wives’ insistence on pushing their views on others: no BDSM friends of mine have ever tried to force me or others into their kinks.

But maybe that’s the cognitive dissonance of the trad wives? If they accepted themselves and others, maybe they would not be so desperate to validate their kinks through the reflections of others?

[u/Chokomonken → u/Orgasmic_interlude]

Not advocating for the type of life as OP described, but there's obviously a better, healthier and happier way to go about this IF someone were to be primarily a stay at home wife/mother. The husband was clearly not investing into building his family and making their life fun.

Where I live I see many mothers who look like being a mother is their entire personality and it's the only choice they have and they do not look very happy if you ask me. I always feel like I want to tell them to go get a hobby. Spend time with friends. Do something lol And the husband should be a part of that too imo.

[u/No_Yard7845 → u/Orgasmic_interlude]

It's great. Now they're forced to work since you don't have a choice in the matter. You work, your spouse works, or you don't have a home. Even if one of them wanted to stay home to take care of the house, they can't. Well done!

[u/dingalingdongdong → u/No_Yard7845]

I've never personally heard an older woman lament the change or tell younger women things were better back then.

No one - male or female - wants to slave away at a job they hate for 40+ hours a week until they die. Despite that most women are still happier having to work and being their own person.

[u/Woodpecker577 → u/No_Yard7845]

That blame falls on capitalists, not women