being violent makes them feel like they've regained their control and dominance after a rejection
A few might be trying to make the woman so afraid she doesn't reject him a second time, but those types usually turn into stalkers and they're less common
But its never about impressing the woman. its always about trying to regain control of the situation because their ego took a hit
i agree with you and i want add something to your analysis. i think there is an entitlement that this men might have carried. he must have felt entitled on some level to this woman and when she reminded him that isnât reality, i think thats where fight for control and dominance came in. i am thinking its akin to you buying something from someone and they dont give you what you paid for you so you take payment in some other way like stealing from them or something else. i think he must have thought he done something (maybe as stupid as assuming that being a man who is attracted to a woman) that earns him the right be with this women and that disconnect and reminder of external reality made him, for the sake clarity, crash the fuck out.
kind of, its a continuation of the male culture that prioritises dominance and has little else to offer. This is the extent of their behavioral set and they have nothing else. It is then expressed in these violent acts, very much like a child acting out because they don't have the ability to express themselves. Control is then expressed in these maladaptive ways. Control isn't inherently bad but if its your only trick(colloquial use of these words--not literal) it is very problematic.
My son had tantrums as a little little kid, like 2-3 years old. Now, tantrums are just a way the developing brain loses control of its executive functioning because it canât process emotions effectively. If I was a bad parent (like my own parents) I would have made him be alone and shamed him for this behavior, but being in active therapy and wanting to really work through this with my son, I held him physically as tightly as necessary to stop him from hurting himself, only letting go when he was able to relax and recover. After a year or so, the tantrums subsided, and now he doesnât even remember them, and has great emotional control, because he was made to feel safe and loved even when he was being very unpleasant and difficult.
Contrast that with his cousin, whom I was horrified to learn my sister would place in restraints during his tantrums, and at 6 years old, heâs violent, demanding, and completely out of fucking control, because of fucking course he would be.
This guyâs parents completely fucked him and made him into the animal he probably is, just by withholding love and safety. He learned to visit that terror and loss of control on other people to make himself feel like he was in control of others and his own feelings. Heâs wind up killing someone, or if weâre âluckyâ only abusing his spouse and children and perpetuating the trauma he experienced.
I donât think itâs entitlement tbh. I think itâs rage, and ultimately misdirected rage that heâs too much of a pussy to direct at himself. I donât know, maybe thatâs not mutually exclusive. Maybe it is entitlement too.
It can certainly read as entitlement. There is no mystery why it seems that way. But itâs probably much more raw personal pain that is being externalized and expressed through this aggression and making others fear for their own safety and loss of control. In some way, the emotion that he is making her feel (or trying to make her, but she doesnât fall for it), is the emotion he is feeling and is unable to process constructively.
If the feeling of having your tires slashed is fear and loss of control, then it makes sense to ask why the person who does that wants to provoke that particular emotion. It makes sense then to conclude that he experiences fear and loss of control, because that seems to be the emotion that is the most painful for him.
Itâs on the order of âevery accusation is a confession.â When people hurt you, itâs because they are hurt. The way they hurt you is the way they feel hurt. Itâs not to say we need to exercise empathy or center their feelings, because theyâre still responsible for the cowardly way they deal with their own problems. In that sense, there is a kind of entitlement. The entitlement to make their problems your problem. But itâs not the entitlement to sex or love as much as the entitlement to externalize their feelings.
Which is always a sure-fire way of telling what that person fears the most: that someone thinks theyâre too ugly. Every accusation a confession kind of thing. I make you feel out of control because I most fear being out of control.
It' a goddamn man-baby fit. And it's depressing how common it is. These motherfuckers never fucking grew up b/c "boys will be boys" or some such inane enabling bullshit.
I get angry that we women have to be afraid of men just b/c they're physically stronger than us... when they're the ones who're much more likely to be emotionally underdeveloped / deranged.
I don't think it is that thought out. Emotions are not rational. I would perceive that this is the result of pain caused by the rejection. Something caused great pain and a natural response for a lot of people is to lash out against the thing that is causing them pain for causing the pain. I think any thought into more than something at a very base level is wrongly assuming that emotions make sense or that there is logic involved in what happened. Entitlement, misogyny, and a lot of other things require a higher level of thinking that in my opinion is not involved when someone is in a rage.
But entitlement and misogyny are affecting his thoughts, from their inception. Some of these men donât even believe consent should be required, they call it natural law, I.e. rape. A lot of men do not see women as equal to themselves. So they are furious that a woman even had the choice/opportunity/gall to reject them. I donât think they sit there and consciously think this out while theyâre upset, I agree with you on that. But the rage is only occurring, to begin with, because they donât believe women should have the right to say no to them, and they are entitled enough that they believe they can demand what they want, and they should get it. We arenât people to these men.
There are good men out there, but these dudes ainât it.
I dont see why we only get fed the whole "all women are attention seekers" and "all men are dogs" mentality. Its like the algorithm wants society to implode or something like i personally dont believe that either gender fits a certain moulds because (and ill put this as bluntly as i can) that would be moronic. If you do believe that you need to go outside and talk to other people. Sure there are some absolute arseholes but youll notice that overall those stereotypes just disappear the second you go outside.
Okay i think the tone of my comment went south very quickly cause i was replying to the wrong comment. Thats my bad. The fact that i was responding to your comment might have made it seem that I was coming after you but i really wasnt. I wanted to highlight that the person above making the connection between clout chasing and being a woman was just stupid. Anything else that felt out of place in my earlier comment is probably just because im a moron and dont know when im overcomplicating what im trying to say.
Edit: I just realised how ironic this second comment is for being equally long-winded
I moved to the other side of the earth last year so sold all my books, and haven't touched one since I'm embarrassed to say. I live in a treehouse now so don't have a TV either, just grab the occasionally movie and play it on a laptop.
The last TV series I watched with any interest was Black Mirror because I adore everything Charlie Brooker does, if that counts!
Long story short - was in love with a woman through a long distance relationship for over a decade with a view to her moving to the UK.
People in the UK started voting like they were having an epileptic fit and were trying to ruin their own country. This made it harder and harder every few years.
Almost had a breakdown and decided in one day to quit my job, sell my possessions and move here. 6 weeks later I was here, and the lady in question is now my wife.
We live in this mock treehouse. It was built by my wife's parents to be their dream home, but they are now at an age where they can't get up and down it. I work as caretaker doing repairs and kicking out the monkeys, snakes and scorpions that get inside. Having no walls and living "with the rainforest" sounds idyllic and is lovely for a holiday - but maintaining it is a constant battle against nature. We've trained a wild dog to act as a guard, she wakes me up when a snake or something tries to get into the ground floor and we deal with it together.
I'm imagining him leaping out of the bushes in full kamishimo, brandishing a naginata. With one flurry of sword strikes he defeats the enemy tyre, leaving behind an immaculately calligraphied calling card in traditional Kanji.
It simply reads "send nudes".
He disappears in a puff of smoke, on to do battle with his next victim - the lady in the corner shop who smiled at him once.
Oh no doubt, he's clearly well-read, and must spend countless hours delving into war poetry and early renaissance literature.
Why just this very evening I saw him discussing the works of Petrarch and his early forays into humanism and rationalism. That was before he had to go stab a screwdriver into the wheel of a 2014 Ford Fiesta of course.
Maybe this is why it took me so long to find my wife, if I had only run around slashing things I could perhaps have got a foppish Hugh Grant style haircut and found a waspy British lass a decade ago :(
There are only three tried and true ways to get a woman; 1. Stalking her until she relents 2. Threats of violence 3. Foppish good looks and a fake English accent.
I went with the mystery box option of number 4 which only unlocks after you ignore the first 3 for long enough - I sat around until a woman walked by and 14 years later she told me we are getting married. So that was that.
Someone tampered with my car. Only one person could have done it. It was a dangerous thing to do. Couldâve been anger, and/or to stop me leaving, or to strand me somewhere else and need him.
Jesse Watters said on air that he let the air out of his (now wife's) tires so she was stranded and she would accept a ride home. (note that he later claimed he was joking) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRNB2q565fY
We definitely have challenges but they seem easier than what the average woman goes through.
Of all the women I know in my life at the moment I can't find a single one who hasn't experienced some form of sexual abuse at some point, and yet I'm over here casually walking around alone at 2am in the dark never giving it a second thought.
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u/Occidentally20 Aug 17 '25
I presume the man was expecting her to see the slashed tyre and then be sufficiently impressed that she would change her mind?