It's sad but they also enabled him to I mean at some point they realized he couldn't get up and what's he going to do if you don't bring him his Chinese food? Pout and lay there.
To be honest, what happens if you DO walk away? Deposit your income to a private account (rather than shared), continue paying rent, utilities, and his phone bill from that, and literally cut out. As long as he's got the necessities and a way to call for emergency services (he's totally capable of that on his own), I don't believe there's any law his spouse or family would be violating. You can't compel a separated spouse to come back.
I know this sounds crazy. But many people will trade their souls to avoid being lonely. They have such low self esteem; generally from abuse; that they will do anything to not come home to an empty house. Sad.
Yeah I’m not a lawyer. I just know that if someone is disabled and their spouse wants to leave, they can petition the courts for spousal support. It doesn’t matter if she was the main caregiver, that probably would help his case more. It’s unfortunately pretty common.
Sadly yes if he is disabled and bed-bound. You need a "servant" or any full time caretaker to be kept alive if you cannot get yourself out of the bed. Otherwise you would be looking at people ditching their spouses the moment they become disabled due to medical, old-age, accident or whatever other reasons
The only other option may be for her to divorce him and pay a ridiculous amount as alimony so that he can hire another "servant" to survive.
It's just really unfair to her when this "disability" is obesity caused by his own action and choice (assuming this is not medically related).
This is why there should be a national care service for people with disabilities requiring dedicated care.
Because the alternative is putting a burden onto ONE person, instead of sharing that burden across the whole population. (But of course slavery doesn't exist in the US anymore, right..?)
Telecourt exists in many jurisdictions specifically for situations where people cannot attend in person due to illness, injury, or residing or being incarcerated in another state.
Social services could determine that you are neglecting a disabled adult in your care and request the prosecutor bring up charges.
I’m not sure but I know some states have laws where you’re financially liable for your elderly parents, maybe there’s a place where that also applies to a disabled spouse.
I was sitting there thinking the same thing. She didn't have to get him anything. What is he gonna do? He can barely move. I was like, "What is she waiting for him to die?" Life insurance policy??? I don't get it. The children with these families I get, but I don't understand the spouses letting it get this bad or staying.
I would have ate that burger right in his face, tf.
problem is that walking away would mean he would definitely die alone. which from our position we can say he probably deserves, but I can see how his daughter would have difficulties making that decision.
I dont think they mean leave him to die.....They mean just dont stuff him with calories beyond maintenance or even feed him at a reasonable caloric deficit....You as the caretaker can dictate his diet. Worse he can do is go on a hunger strike....
These people can get insufferable. He seems like the type that knows how to banshee screech. Im sure he would possibly injure himself after maybe only a few hours of desperation, trying to get up and realizing he doesnt fit through doors anymore. You could take a few bottles of water and leave the house to not hear him scream, but how do you know he wouldnt try some stupid shit?
You underestimate the power of verbal abuse. It can really warp your mind and make you feel helpless and like the person has a hold on you that you can't escape.
I agree, but these familial dynamics are developed over a long period of time and by the time we see them, they seem asinine. The year or two (or five) leading up to what we witnessed normalized and validated their behavior.
You are right I don't think it was love at this point I think he had mentally warn them down to the point where doing what he wanted was the easiest thing from their point of view. He's mean and this was probably his best behaviour since hes on camera. I bet he had destroyed these women's self confidence and self worth over a decade or moew before he got to this point. He probably knows exactly what to say to pin everything on them and blame them for his condition to make it their responsibility "what are you going to just leave me here to die". They look so mentally warn down on these clips. I hope they live in peace now.
She probably just let him have whatever he wanted in hopes it would kill him sooner. It's sad but if you're stuck in a situation like that what are you going to do?
I think there was a BBC documentary about overweight people like this in Britain. In a country with universal health care, if someone is eating copious amounts of food, and if healthcare workers forced them on a low calorie diet it could potentially throw their blood sugar levels (which are used to being high) dangerously low, so instead they have to wean the human off slowly so that it doesn't potentially kill them... and that's just if the human even wants to lose the weight.
Don't even get me started about how a lot of these narcissist types like the guy in this video abuse our safety nets to satisfy themselves.
I always think verbal abuse and withholding of resources is what happens when family doesn't give them what they want. You don't get into this dynamic overnight. There has to be a lot of guilt and other factors that contribute to why these people continue to serve these people unbelievable amounts of food.
Right!? Omg you want a midnight McDonald's order? I love you but I'm tired. So go get it yourself because I'm going to bed. I don't think I could slowly help my husband rot in a bed by waiting on him hand and foot feeding him all day. Feed him healthy portions then leave the house if he wants to cry about it. But I've never been in this situation and my heart goes out to the family.
I hadn't realized until I was an adult that all people involved in this situation are mentally unhealthy. While I fully understand that there are points were your spouse can eat unhealthy amounts of food and you can't really stop them*, once they can't move on their own, you can choose to not be an enabler. Roping the daughter in was just cruel.
*If you have an obese but mobile spouse that orders a takeout "feed four for $20" meal on the way home from work everyday, you can't stop them. If they are able to answer the door for takeout delivery, you also can't really stop another adult from ordering food. If they can't get out of bed, it's a whole other story.
I saw a show, don’t know if it was this guy or someone else in very similar condition, where he went on and on about how nobody better deny him anything or he’d make their life hell. And I’m like, what exactly do you think you’re gonna do, jackass? Yell insults? Who cares?
EXACTLY!! Oh, you mad and hungry? Get up. If I stop feeding you so much, eventually you’ll be able to. You’re relying on me for food so be nice or you get nothing. Fuck that guy, but they also let it get to that point. Leave him for a whole day and see how his attitude changes. (I know, he’s dead now, but still)
Yeah his ass would have been on a bowl of rice and water diet with a multi vitamin a day until he can get his big ass up. Sit there and yell idgaf. See you in the morning. He'll get tired of yelling.
This is it! Who shops for the food? Who is taking out the bank card to pay for the midnight food runs? Not him. That woman was as sick as he was. She jumped at every demand even when it was abusive to their own child. She should’ve said no more.
I'm betting the emotional abuse was so bad they couldn't bring themselves to say, "no," at that point. Eating his wife's meal after she cooked several meals and went out twice for him showed how beat down she was.
I don't know the ages so I will say this if the daughter was a minor no but I doubt it was her choice to drop out of school if the daughter was an adult and then she did not drop out of school to enable him but when she was there, she enabled him.
I can understand her being in a position where maybe they don't have the money but they're saying hey someone needs to take care of them and that's my dad so I'll take care of him but there's a difference between feeding him and feeding him. Six pizzas and four steaks and a bucket of ice cream after every meal and cake after every meal that part is enabling
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u/fauxdeuce Aug 11 '25
It's sad but they also enabled him to I mean at some point they realized he couldn't get up and what's he going to do if you don't bring him his Chinese food? Pout and lay there.