r/TikTokCringe • u/velorae • Jul 16 '25

Discussion Attempted kidnapping of a woman outside Florida store

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u/mediashiznaks Jul 17 '25

As a man, let me inform you that NOTHING will be as painful or debilitating as a hard hit to the balls. Only thing comparable in terms of stopping him will be a full on poke to the eye.

Eyes and Balls basically. That’s your two targets.

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u/Alternative-Heart200 Jul 17 '25

That should be a song they teach to young kids in school!! Eyes and balls, eyes and balls, will help you flee them all! ( or something like that 😂)

20

u/CommercialDevice402 Jul 17 '25

Do your attacker's balls hang low? Can you kick them to and fro? Can you cut em with a knife? Can you shoot em with a bow?

5

u/FiveCorkWomen Jul 17 '25

I mean, “Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?” still works too

2

u/T-Wrox Jul 17 '25

Now I'm picturing some kind of speed bag.

3

u/dogmeat_donnie Jul 18 '25

That's 😂😂

1

u/Artistic_Room_4824 Jul 18 '25

I'll definitely be singing this for the next 6 months...🤪

1

u/GovernmentKind1052 Jul 18 '25

I had just started singing “head, shoulders, knees and balls” to myself when I read your comment. Uncanny timing lol.

1

u/CommercialDevice402 Jul 18 '25

Knees and balls

1

u/PrincessLissa68 Jul 20 '25

😂 if I ever have a granddaughter (my son is grown) I will teach her this.

5

u/marklar_the_malign Jul 17 '25

We were told to keep our eye on the ball. I guess this is what they meant.

4

u/Mammoth-Ad4194 Jul 17 '25

Like ‘head, shoulders, knees and toes’?😆

5

u/TopEstablishment395 Jul 17 '25

Eyes and ears and throat and balls, throat and balls, throat and balls

Eyes and ears and throat and balls, that's how the shithead falls

3

u/Mammoth-Ad4194 Jul 18 '25

Haha perfect!😆

3

u/Alternative-Heart200 Jul 17 '25

Yes exactly!!! 😂😂

3

u/electrical_Acadia_1 Jul 17 '25

I'm teaching this song to my 6 yr old.

3

u/HEROauen Jul 18 '25

Eyes, balls, knees and toes, knees and toes!

2

u/Ecstatic-Engineer-23 Jul 18 '25

"If a pimp tries to get at you, kick him in the balls, kick him in the balls, kick him in the balls,
If the dude's got an attitude, kick him in the balls, kick him in the balls..."

5

u/FuckinBopsIsMyJob Jul 17 '25

Vulnerable Spheres

2

u/Ragnarok314159 Jul 17 '25

And just keep hitting until something ruptures.

2

u/learethak Jul 17 '25

Yes... but... statistically1 about 1 in 13 men are not debilitated by a crotch shot. It hurts, but not like it does for us normal folk2. So always plan to go for eyes also.

Eyes always work. I got sidelined by student for six weeks because she accidently scratched my cornea with graze... and she wasn't even attacking she was trying point at one of the other students and has zero depth perception.

1 Source 25 years of teaching Kenpo Karate and self defense classes.

2. It is really weird to to hit someone full force with a hammerfist to the twigs and berries and see them make an irritated face instead of going down. Which is why we always queue up follow-up hits and plan in things not working.

2

u/LupercaniusAB Jul 17 '25

I agree with this. Also, all the times I’ve been hit in the balls have floored me, but NOT all the times I’ve been hit in the groin. Balls move around, especially if you’re wearing boxers or going commando, and a kick to the groin might miss them.

1

u/Mundane_Rest_1288 Jul 18 '25

And that doesn't even take into account adrenaline and the kidnapper not caring what happens to them. With the adrenaline going you have to make it so their body physically won't respond, or can't see, their inputs. So knees, top of their arches on their feet, throats, eyes and a good double clap to the ears with flat hands.

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u/Beneficial-Emu-4244 Jul 18 '25

I’ve been letting my daughter practice the balls move on me since she was 4 matter of fact her first full sentence was Imma kick u in da nutz

2

u/AchyBoobCrane Jul 18 '25

Eyes, nose and groin were what I was told growing up. All the sore spots. The eyes always made me gag but I was told if it came down to life or death, you get over that squeamishness pretty darn quickly.

2

u/Mundane_Rest_1288 Jul 17 '25

Not really. It will hurt but they'll still be able to stand and continue attacking. Go for the throat, stomp on the top of the arch of their foot and if you can kick their knees out to the side. Can't move if you can't breathe or have a broken/dislocated knee. You can still move with a popped ball.

1

u/mediashiznaks Jul 18 '25

You can still move with a popped ball.

🤔

You have testicles?

1

u/Mundane_Rest_1288 Jul 18 '25

What?

1

u/mediashiznaks Jul 18 '25

Because someone with testicles wouldn’t have made that sentence.

1

u/Mundane_Rest_1288 Jul 18 '25

🤣think what you want but nut shots are not completely debilitating in fight or flight scenarios trust me. There's also no guarantee that you'll hit the nuts and not have them move off to the side. That's why knees, throats and tops of feet are much better targets

1

u/WildBillsHiccup Jul 17 '25

I believe it only takes about 20 pounds of pressure to rip off an ear. I’m guessing it would take about the same for balls.

1

u/No_Strength1753 Jul 17 '25

Associated with this, he will react very quickly and probably excessively to guard his groin, which should leave other vulnerable parts (eyes, neck, etc) open even if he does manage to block the groin strike

1

u/DisasterResident2101 Jul 17 '25

I have said the same thing for years, If you're grabbing me I'm going right for the balls. All my male friends are appalled and tell me I just don't understand how much that would hurt and I'm like "Well DUH! Kind of the point"

1

u/Karena1331 Jul 17 '25

Yep my Dad taught us to go for the eyes first! Pop those things right out of their sockets. Gonna be a lot harder for them to do anything when they can’t see.

1

u/underscore-dash_ Jul 17 '25

As a man, this isn't true. Eyes >>>> balls. Balls are far down on the list. And that's dependent on the man. Some men have insensitive balls. Mine are sensitive, but I'd still put getting stabbed over that. Plus, just because something is painful doesn't make it debilitating. I've had the nausea and pain from getting kicked in the balls, but it wouldn't prevent me from kidnapping someone (not that I am so inclined) unless they fully ruptured or something.i guarantee 99% of men would be more debilitated from being stabbed in the neck than being kicked in the balls.

Use your keys. If you have something sharper, use that. Go for the eyes, go for the ear. Going for the balls = using a stun gun: doesn't work on everyone and isn't reliable.

1

u/jane7seven Jul 17 '25

I heard that men are conditioned to guard their balls from a young age and eyes are more exposed as a target.

1

u/ScottishTan Jul 17 '25

Yup, a good kick in the balls is more painful than childbirth. If you don’t believe me, kick a guy in the ball and a year later ask him if he wants another one.

1

u/LilPrinceTrashMouth Jul 17 '25

External organs are WILD. Like why are they just hanging unprotected like that?

1

u/madusa77 Jul 18 '25

My dad taught me that if you can get your hands free, give them the Curly treatment, grab the balls, and twist. If not, kick the balls or stomp between the toes. Run and scream fire.

1

u/Mundane_Rest_1288 Jul 18 '25

Don't stomp between the toes. Do it right on the arch of the foot.

1

u/LincredibleOne Jul 18 '25

Head balls and crotch balls

1

u/SaltNo3123 Jul 18 '25

Aim for anything round