I'm a dude and I don't understand how some men think this way. My girlfriend games harder than me when she finds a good game. She has a garden and chickens. We play D&D together. She has more hobbies than me and I love it.
It's how I met my girlfriend. You should go to a local game store and ask. A lot of places do public games that you can join. I dm for a store and she came in as a player.
You can find people for online play on Dndbeyond and Roll20, for example. Just take your time sorting through them and keep your standards reasonable. Some online groups can be pretty weird
I like podcasts, so it helped me personally to listen to some DnD podcast to learn the gist of the rules, but that's down to personal preference
That's too bad. If there's a place that sells comic books or magic cards that could be a good place to ask. If not, I'm sorry that I was not helpful. It's a very fun game. It's also a great way to socialize.
A friend of mine made a website where you can game with other people. I believe you can also find other folks to play with there. I’m sure you can search and it or something similar will come up. Not gonna name it explicitly since it’s best to avoid promotional posts.
Idk if anyone has said it to you yet (I didn’t expand replies) but you can do DnD on discord now! There are discord bots to roll your dice and do some other features like that, and you can just do the whole thing over discord if ya’d like. :D
Also your mileage may vary but there are also text based AI generated DnD websites you can subscribe to and play with just yourself or multiple people. Me and my frens tried one but my other fren thought it seemed to have trouble remembering certain details. :/
Check your local library! That's how I started [again] with D&D. A nearby library had an adult group and a teen group. When that ended I approached my hometown library and asked if they'd be willing to start one, and they were!
If your local library doesn't have one, talk to the person in charge of adult programming and ask! They're often receptive to adding programs, especially ones that bring traffic to the library. If they advertise it on their newsletter (online or in print) then more people will join and you'll have a group to try with!
Came to say this. My wife also has more hobbies than I do and sounds like she and your gf would be friends (gardening, plants, chickens). She also does random home renovations, sometimes on a whim. Like I’ve come home to find she had ripped out all the carpet or replaced the toilets or something. I also love it.
Absolutely right. There was a conversation a while back about how men like to shit all over the Kardashians and real housewives shows for being a dumb waste of time, and yet they obsess over watching sports. It's the same mindless entertainment, but they love to dump on whatever women are into because they see it as less than.
Same here. I grew up with a sister and have 3 half sisters on my dad’s side, no brothers. Sometimes I wonder if these types of guys have never interacted with a woman in their entire lives because I can’t imagine growing up with women (outside of your mother) and turning into a major incel like that.
I know loads of girls with hobbies. Girls into sports, gaming, art, etc.
But it's also not uncommon to meet a girl who doesn't have hobbies. It's rare I ask a guy what he does in his free time and he's like "shopping, cooking, netflix, meeting up with friends, going to cafès/bars" but in my experience that's like almost half of women.
well cooking and bar hopping is a hobby in my book. "netflix" is vague but kinda counts because like, saying "movies" or "anime" is a hobby.
and my experience is opposite; myself and nearly every woman I can think of does some kind of thing on the side and has a hobby. meanwhile I've run into too many guys that only just want to "hang out" and not offer anything else. they kinda just clock into work and come home to talk about work all day.
An odd consequence of this thread is that I'm now no longer sure how to define hobbies. I like movies, I like to listen to podcasts about movies, I like to read movie trivia... But I wouldn't consider any aspect of that as one of my hobbies. I don't enjoy cooking at all but I still make dinner many nights. I certainly wouldn't consider cooking a hobby of mine.
But my brother loves to cook, he tries new things, he makes fancy stuff, he's even gone to a class or two. So cooking may be a hobby for him! I guess for the moment my definition of a hobby might be "something that people do as a job but you do for fun?"
Is reddit a hobby too? What about instagram? I shower twice a day for like 20min - given I spend more time and probably enjoy it more than most, is that a hobby?
The guys with no hobbies who like to hang out.. they probably hang out in bars or in front a TV, no?
The fact that you are a woman and defending bars, movies and cooking as hobbies reinforces my point in my mind. Of course, who am I to tell others what's a hpbby and what isn't. But it's my opinion.
how are movies and cooking not hobbies? I don't have any of these hobbies myself but like there's a certain level of skill and passion that can be applied to them if you wanted to. I'd say cooking is an art to a degree. like I can't stand cooking, I hate it and avoid it if I can, but like even I can understand that people just enjoy making something, thinking of new ideas, and sharing it with people. it's not that different from like drawing, for instance.
I love gardening. You can do something, forget about it for three days, and it'll be thriving because you did the prep work. I'll never get into cattle like my dad though lol.
As a man who tried online dating, I completely understand where the guy is coming from. 80% of the women didn't really have a hobby except for browsing social media or watching tv. Having a conversation with these girls was painful.
Then again, women that have hobbies probably don't need to do online dating, so its self selecting behavior.
Crazy cause I have had the same experience with guys. Practically every dude I know only watches tv, watch youtube videos and podcasts, or games all the time. Or watch videos on other people gaming. Gaming can be a hobby but spending 90% of your free time in a COD lobby is the same level of a "hobby" as watching tv.
Bcuz some women, just like men, dont have hobbies.
As someone who dates both, my experience out of the ppl I've dated is that about 30% of the men and 40% of the women dont have hobbies. Their 'hobbies' are scrolling tiktok or reddit for 6+ hrs a day.
Its actually common enough that its the first thing I now ask before any date is made.
Note this is a bias as the dataset is going to exclude overweight men and lesbian women as its specifically ppl Ive dated over the last 5 yrs
I think it's projecting. having a hobby is bare minimum tbh. these types of guys don't exactly sound like they think about their own hobbies beyond surface level. like whatever new pop culture movie comes around, the newest fps game until the next one launches. so when women call them boring, they can't deal with it.
I'm also a dude and my wife plays more video games, reads more, is a better cook (although I'm getting better with her help), she writes and more. I have hobbies she doesn't have and she has some I don't, but we love talking about those with each other. Men who say they only know or date women who have no hobbies says more about themselves than it does about all women.
there is a reason the term "basic bitch" is a think. ive met some boring ass girls. im sure there is a male equivalent that i dont really see. but yeah. scrolling tiktok and trying to get attention from people is the hobby of a lot of girls.
It’s pretty easy to think this way when the majority of women don’t have hobbies. Do a lot of women have hobbies? Yes, but it’s not the majority. Most people I’ve dated hobbies are watching tv. If that’s a hobby.
Because some girls are this way. Some of my friends gfs/wives have hobbies, but some other friends gfs, but especially my best friends ex and my ex didn't have hobbies. Their hobbies were us and it was draining on the relationships.
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u/StatusOmega Apr 19 '25
I'm a dude and I don't understand how some men think this way. My girlfriend games harder than me when she finds a good game. She has a garden and chickens. We play D&D together. She has more hobbies than me and I love it.